continuing the remembering of Ezra/Fastboy

I've been watching one food video every other day since hearing of his passing...
http://fastboycycles.com/food

Today the post went up on the teaching cancer to cry...

http://www.teachingcancertocry.com/?p=2076

I have been sharing his story for quite some time now I guess...

I've been following his art and craft for much longer though...

Flickr 2005

To be honest while that peice is complete and paints the picture of him... it doesn't feel like him. I wonder how he would have written that, I don't think he did, doesn't read like his style. Maybe it is best that he didn't. too many stories to tell, too much to write down...

Words and art...

Ezra was no Maya

Cole Haan "Maya Angelou (Director's Cut)" from Ben Hughes on Vimeo.
but Ezra had a way of communicating that was inspirational... a similar charasmatic humorous command of communicating that engaged and bouyed his audience, one can't imagine what his legacy would have been if not for that cancer

reflective times I suppose...

I need the right moment I think to really flesh out my feelings, and his influence...

it is closer now maybe than before, but still gathering thoughts and feelings...

perhaps a day off, a day on the bike, will be the effective catalyst

life goes on for the rest of us left behind, as it always does

heddwch
G

Getting there

The legs, they feel maybe better. Solobreak wasn't right but he was close. Probably take another two weeks before I feel ok on the smackdown ride, but this past tuesday wasn't terrible. Granted I still got dropped pretty much every hill, but I'm a big fatso right now, CX isn't for a while right?

We had a great turn out though. A big portion of the club showed up (probably because we were all headed over to Dr Flat's after for beers and protein on the grill). After big Anton flatted it was just PVC. If Kyle had actually worn the kit it would have been an 8 man TTT a nice mix of the white and black kits, soon we'll have the new color to toss in there... Good ride though.

Recovery seems pretty good, very good compared to a few others, but then maybe I wasn't working as hard or something. Felt at the limit most of the time on the hills and missing some top end but maybe I can see it coming around.


Boring blah blah blah...  I'd write how Morse and Andrew and Fox kept trading body blows but that gets boring after a while and is predictable. I didn't win any sprint lines, but had a good ride and the legs hurt a bit the next day. So we're making progress.

He is gone... but not forgotten

An inspiration - from that first moment on Flickr when we connected.

http://ezracaldwell.com/

http://www.teachingcancertocry.com/

http://fastboycycles.com/

http://instagram.com/p/ocAsv0rAXx/

It has been a roller coaster journey...  one that got quiet the last month or so...

I have been checking daily, looking for an update...

then saw Jenny's post on G+

didn't want to see that post...

where to i start?

obviously not now beyond this, other than to say I'm gutted, this is painful, expected? given his choice and progression expected yes, but no easier...

last week I was thinkingi about Ezra, hoping he was pulling a micracle MLFN and defying the odds beyond all reconning...

Now i'm sitting here at the kitchen table crying

wrtiing the best i can

which is terribly not at all

a loss very much

an inspiration

in craft, in art, in movement, in bicycles, in photography, in food

someone who was very much steeped in the black and white aesthetic

who pedaled... who created... who cooked...

I will write more soon...  for now...  i can't much...

still riding

I hope maybe if i have the grace and luck to have grandkids they are able to make a movie like this about me



Portrait of my grandfather : 80 and still cycling from Florent Piovesan on Vimeo.

radish greens - come on magic

The shorter east route smackdown is on tonight (vs the western one that's longer and stuff). And well last week the radish greens didn't help with the legs, okay, not true, they helped keep me in contact until Prospect, but beyond that? pfft. Nope. zippo.

But in the name of science and gastronomy I am having them for breakfast again.

Radishes are a popular lunch snack in these here parts, and I love the greens and buying them is usually about finding the best looking TOPS in the pile of organic radishes. Does a few things, first fresher selection and second THE GREENS ARE SO YUMMY.

May have to be Hobbitish and follow up first breakfast with post commute breakfast, but starting the day with a fried egg topped with melty habanero cheese (it is on sale at WF again, just like last year, good spicey yummy cheese) a thin slice of fried ham and a giant mount of radish greens. And some salt. Because, you know, salt.

Second breakfast may or may not include a few chocolate croisants.

Because post ride pastries with coffee...  does it get better? Maybe. Better when shared post ride, but i have two small ones and am riding alone so ALL MINE.

Tonight heading out though. Legs? We'll see. May be hanging with the B split, but that's okay. Should be a nice evening to suffer on the bike.

Baby steps. We'll see who shows though. We'll see who shows.

Last night did something pretty cool, stuck an SEM sample holder rig on the bike. Facing forward to catch airborne particulate (and hopefully some pollen). Figureed if the bike is turning green there's gotta be something in the air. Why not collect it and see what exactly is in the air.

Collected a bit of stuff last night, going to stick a fresh new one on for the ride in and maybe while the service engineer is fixing the confocal I can get a few minutes on the scanning electron microscope to check this out. As excited to see what is on the stub (the thing that you put the samples into the microscope on - stub is like a slide for the SEM), I'm more intriqued to see if there is any difference between last night and this morning.

Rig looks like this:

and after the ride you can see stuff on it here:

So repeating this AM, heck maybe I should put one on for the smackdown...

Found a good stack of old prints from senior year in college...  would be funny to re-do the shots, esp the one with Erik Jerry me and Lum.

Finishi it up with two links about food and YOUR health. Because I care [too much] about other people.

Link #1 for the medical and nutritional professionals:
http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1871695

Link #2 for everyone (not a copy of the above but it is NYT)
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/18/opinion/sunday/always-hungry-heres-why.html?_r=1

heddwch
G

podcasts

I don't listen to many of them, mostly because I prefer to hear myself talking. No not really mostly I prefer to read, words. Quickly and what not. Saves time. Mostly because most people talk to slowly. Or should I say talk at a slow pace to aid the slow listener (or just because they are forming words in head at a slow pace and that's just how it comes out) I dunno, i'm just speculating of course.

Point being I don't usually have time to sit and listen. Pausing all the time because I deal with daily interuptions is a pain. I can read, leave it up deal with the issue, come back to reading right where i was or re-read a bit sometimes to catch back into the topic. Podcasts seem to demand some uninterupted attention.

Like driving in a car, or sitting on public transport where you're just idle and reading may not be the easiest way to absorb information. Or painting maybe. Doing something or nothing but where reading isn't possible/desirable.

That's not how my life is set up right now. So I don't listen to them.

Saguache Crescent ... a short film

can't link it directly i guess but check it out
http://zwfilm.com/work/creative-leadership

the one on the Saguache Crescent (currently the first one there)

still printed, same way it has always been... some content gets recycles as he needs to make it fit or fill but it is there and still gets published and printed and distributed...

My dad's pretty proud of it, a copy sits on every table at the 4th street diner there in Saguache.

give it a watch, it is a pretty cool thing, happening in a pretty damn amazing part of this country.

dropped on prospect

that's a first. never happened before.

Maybe i was a bit ambitions leading for a while riding and talking with PKS a bit past the turn off onto woodward from 152 was too long maybe, but damn that's like just getting warmed up...  turned over onto prospect and the lanky Morse cranked up the tempo, pulled off, big Anton took over and kept drilling it David B was the first to get gapped, claims it was from the Jay Woo kid yo-yo'ing him, i think he's much like me, just out of shape, he gapped, BDub joined him and I tried to hank on the wheels of PKS and the Morse but pretty much only made it 100 yards further than the two...   At the turn onto Broad/Jacob I could see two groups, the Anton Andrew adn Will group and the gapped but closing group of PKS Morse and Fox.

And from there on it wasn't an easy ride but it was a good ride with friends.

Fitness is gone as can be expected. Radish greens in your breakfast sandwich don't create fitness.

And it was cold, well not cold but between the wind, the lack of sun it certainly felt colder than the 50 reported. Got back to the office with an empty and distracting stomach to collect the bag only to have to turn around and head up to help sort out a car issue. Dead battery, race home so i could head back in to gather the kids and grab them dinner if roadside assistance took too long to show. But they showed up just as I was walking out the door. I was very thankful I didn't have to battle a headwind home and that i could get in the shower and warm up. I probably should have put that baselayer on in addition to the arm and knee warmers.

It isn't a surprise to find this lack of oomph, but it is a bit dis-heartening, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation kind of lacking. But i guess it is May, going to take this old diesel a long time to get even close to being up to temp and ready to make some torque for 45-50, so really not much choice but to button down and maybe do what I know i need to. Not easy really...  heck i haven't really even gone for a run in over a month. So much for fast 5k goal.

Lots to sort out

heddwch
G

perfect fried chicken?

Maybe not but it was pretty fantastic.

There was a definite lack of enthusiasm when my wife and oldest got home from a long run and ballet respectively upon hearing what I'd made for dinner. They walked in the door and asked "what did you make?" My reply of mashed potatoes, fried chicken and collard greens wasn't well recieved.

But I guess it is is probably nice to get home to find someone made you dinner no matter what it is.

The concept is super boring and lame and so american that it is cliche and man who wants that?

I was looking for something different too cook, Chicken was on sale last time I was at the wholefoods place so I bought a pile of it and used it in the meals for the past few days, a chicken stir-fry with peanuts, followed by some black beans, rice and topped with dry rub marinated diced chicken, and last night this classic of classics.

Best to keep them all simple. Potatoes just sliced and boiled russets, skins on, mashed with butter, olive oil, milk, salt and pepper and some powerderd sage. Simple.  Collards? de-ribbed, cut into 2-3cm squares, sauteed in olive oil with a couple cloves of garlic a splash of soy sauce and some balsalmic vinegar.

the chicken? simple is best still.

breast, rinsed and set between papertowels to make sure they are totally dry.

one egg beaten in a bowl

panko bread crumbs, salt, pepper, powdered sage in another bowl

in a flat skillet equal parts bacon rendering and olive oil. just below the smoke point...

coat breast in egg wash, then cover in the bread crumb mix

put in oil/fat (should be a few millimeters deep in the pan)

turn down the heat a touch. cook for a bit, flip, cook till finished, remove and let rest on a rack in the oven at 200°F until all of the chicken is cooked (don't crowd the pan, one or two breasts per pan)

That's it.

The "dry" white meat breasts were moist and delicios and the flavors were simple but each ingredient was able to shine, the potatoes tasted like potatoes, the chicken was a moist and chickeny tasting bit of chicken and the pile of collards offered a good bit of umami to tie it all together.  Served with a bit of german mustard to add a minor note of heat and flavor without masking anything and the simplest of simple was elevated.

Cooking takes practice. It is a skill. Something you have to do, but it does start with basic ingredients, use good stuff and you'll be rewarded. It can take time too. Time that is well worth spending even if you are only cooking for yourself.

eat well
G

pedaling again

thoughts not processing the same anymore...

too much change? too much use of twitter and G+ and even dipping a toe back in the like happy faceplant? I dunno...

strong desire to write about the trip to colorado is not intersecting with motivation inspiration and time.

trying to get those all to line up is definitely not easy right now. back in the bike shop again isn't so much using more time it is just keeping me more active and with less free time and somewhat more stressed about some stuff. Scheduling has been a challenge, but i guess now after still being burried last week from the trip i'm sort of coming up for air, 

yesterday was one of those days that just felt opressively hot on the bike but it was just barely over 70. Kind of funny how a season of riding outside skews perceptions. It was nice indeed. Sweating wasn't a big deal. The big deal and frustrating system shock is the sudden increase in 'traffic' on the bike path. Now instead of being me and the regular walkers and joggers, those of us who recogonize each other as we pass each other most every day. A familiar recognition between strangers that aren't quite strangers. 

I think we're all a bit shocked, the regular walkers and the bike commuters. These new users perterb the system. They walk or run on the wrong side of the path (despite heavy signage) they have headphones in and turned up and tune out the amazing surrondings.  They are escaping when they should be embracing their surroundings. If you want to run obliviously go play in traffic. The dog walkers carrying their 20' retractable leashes as their dog runs around sniffing everything on the path randomly off leash. The same ones who look like you just pooped on their shoe when you remind them that there is a 6' leash law in this town. The kids riding barely put together NEXT branded kids bikes trying to keep up with or stay w/in sight of their running/walking parent, not sure of what to do when I pass. 

Every year. I know it is coming and just look forward to the breaks I get when the weather gets inclimate. When it rains. When people are afraid of the out doors because the 'weather' is bad. 

I just wish my front fender hadn't died this winter in dramatic fashion. I should maybe replace it one of these days. I should. I should rely on more than the clip on planet bike fender Bob handed out to the team at 2009 nationals in Bend. I rolled up to the start not realzing i had it still attached. Anne Spaede was there at the start So i handed it to her and said to keep it, she brought it back to the tent and well... I still have it and am using it now when the weather turns all wet. 

At least the seagulls have moved on to easier food than the bivalves. The carpet bombing season is over, we're now dealing with the Canada geese grazing on the grass along the path and shitting all over the place. From one obstacle to another. Busted shells to shit. Plus all the people. 

But man as "rough" as the bike commute gets it still beats driving and trying to park and the anxiety of the car that is gonna turn to iron oxide powder underneath me one of these days.

Juggling everything. Is a challenge.

Life.

Sport.

Writing.

Art.

Work.

Love.

Kids.

Life.

All while balancing on a slack line called health.

Going to try and test the measure of my lack of fitness tonight on the ride. We'll see who shows up, and we'll see who I wind up riding with. Where will i slot in, in the heirarchy of fitness and speed, on our little PVD smackdown ride. Our own version of tuesday night world championships.

Another in progress project is sorting through photos and trying to decide on a handful to offer up in a limited number run sale. What I have sort of tentatively decided on is 10 images. printed in two size runs, 16x12 and 32x24, no more than 10 copies (flexible i suppose, if 100 people want one of them I could change it up) still to be decided: price and which files to do.

Still need to ride up to Firefly and get a bit of weld bead to image on the scope, that's needed for maybe something happening in a couple months. 

Life though seems to find a way of disrupting plans I make. That's my theme I guess. Getting a little better at managing the dissapointment.

maybe

fod yn rhyfeddol

g