Sunday, June 21, 2015

Solstice pre-ride musings

Today is the solstice. Ride Studio Cafe​ did a sunset to sunrise ride last night on the shortest night of the year, and they looked a bit wet but I love the idea.

My insane plan is to ride tomorrow a nice long ride. Leaving before Sunrise (5am depature, 5:10 sunrise) and really hoping to be back before sunset at 8:23.  But this is the first time I'll be attempting a ride this long. Going to get all the elevation out of the way in the first 100+ miles, hopefully the last 80 will be tolerable and the winds favorable.

My scientificially designed special ride fuel cookie bars are in the oven, i'll make a pile of farm egg breakfast sandwiches at 4am to fuel me and JLCX. Gonna be not super easy, but Jobst Brant would approve of this ride, I hope. This insanity. So in his memory, and to take advantage of being able to spend time with a dear friend before he leaves for where they brew Fat Tire Ale, tomorrow is happening.

The ride is called the Four Hills of the Apocalypse. College Hill, Diamond Hill, Buck Hill, and Watch Hill (and back to College hill and then to Riverside). To make it truely All RI we'd need to hit jamestown and aquidneck Islands but as it is we're look at ~180 miles if we don't get off course, so "f'the islands" save those for the next iteration.

Sometimes you set out to do stuff because you know you can. Sometimes you stretch the goal to the unknown.

Tomorrow we're going to the unknown.

Tomorrow I'm riding my bike. On an improbably route. With the a wonderful friend. Because how esle would you celebrate all the happening? By riding...  Riding the Klein. Connecting Cali/New England/MIT/Washington State/Pine Street Pro Shop/Velocipede Peddler​...

Now, lets see about making some dinner! Gotta fuel up!

My oldest just declared the GeWilli's yummy. So the ride fuel is ready to go.

Full disclosure I also went all white flour, no whole wheat, need to reduce amount of poop given fueling issues, so going to the less fiber side, more just pure fuck up your insulin.

I suppose i should get the bike ready? Wait till you see the GeWilli style handlebar bag. it is going to be awesome.

I'm looking forward to hanging with James all day. Kind of (alot) dissapointed that the Prov Velo guys all misplaced their balls and courage, but then the more insane and crazy the route, the fewer people you're going to find to join in.

Fortunately for me and James, well shit we'll have all the ice cream and pedaling awesomeness to ourselves. Now, Maybe if Taylor Swift had donuts and coffee ready down in Watch Hill, THAT would be amazing.

ok...  NOW we cook the dinner. because it is father's day, and I'm cooking the mean that the youngest has been begging to have for a week.

heddwch
G

Friday, June 19, 2015

I have a really good idea

Lets plan a nearly (and probably will wind up at) 300km ride on Monday to celebrate the solsitice and do something really insane on the bike.

And the week before? Lets pick up a 3rd job, but keep doing the other two because you have to. Oh and also get ready for the culmination of a year of dance for the oldest.

Same week.

At least waking up every morning before 5am should make Monday easier. Even if I'm a zombie. But hey, zombies can be something other than slow right?

Was going to tweet but decided not to... calling it pulling a ShopKitty. Working all the jobs because all the bills. Getting shot down for wanting to be able to spend, all be it a very extravagant for me but reasonable, $250 was motivating. Or something.

So. i'm cooked.

But 10 years ago I showed up in RI and spent a week in orientation/working, and then heading back to my Brother's place and helping him demo/remodel his mother in law's kitchen.

Back at both, but this time working at the bike shop, dealing with flakey scopes and constantly managing systems even remotely while I'm at two other jobs. So yeah. I'm back working with my brother. I've got a ton of vacation days I'll never use. Might as well take half a day if my work schedule will let me and and help him. He's got way more work than he can get done so any help means maybe he can get another job done and maybe get everyone's stuff finished.

BTW being ambidexterous is very helpful when the screw shooter fucks up right handed but works perfectly left handed.

ALso noted that my hands were fucked 10 years ago dealing with plaster and slats and demo/remodel. Now? I dunno they're pretty impervious now. All the bikes, the wrenching, the cooking, the chopping, the working with the hands.

I should be pulling a chip and doing some housework right now. But I'm physically wrecked after this week. Mental broken. Not so much in a bad place like usual but more a holy fuck i'm too tired to give a shit.

Kind of Ominous leading into Monday. Every one of the Prov velo guys who tentatively said they'd join have bailed. Maybe Brian will stil join and help guide the last stretch. But Still.

Given this week Monday is insane. But actually even more energizing. I'm looking forward to the challenge. I haven't had a day off the bike all month, I'm exhausted, but I'm so stoked that JLSCX is going to join in this most insane of mental attempts.

I've got a few things I think I can turn into a food cache handelbar bag. Weather keeps shifting. I was excited for the overcast rain, but now, hey no rain i guess is okay. I'll have to sunscreen up I guess.

Phone batter issue...  would be great to have that Magellen/Shimano fivehundred whatever computer tracking the route instead but hey, whatever, I think I can probably run on just GPS and cell (no 3/4G) and survive with the external battery. Maybe. Or just fuck it all and airplane mode and take a couple photos at each of the hills.

Toying with food ideas still. Absolutely have to make some GeWilli's duh. JLSCX mentioned making a batch of rice cakes, so we'll see what else we need. Maybe shit we just have to stop and get ice cream if we pass a creamery. That might delay everything a bit though.

gleekdon called me 'Thor' today at the shop, i guess the hair is long enough now. Another link to 10 years ago. Long haired GeWilli showed up here in RI back then. 10 years ago.  Whikked fat (245# legs w/o any muscle all fat). 38" waist.  Now pretty stable at the 34...

Dinner...  making...  writing between prep steps....

Can't stop... would like to stop.

But then that's rim brake life for you.

Hydro Disc is the dream.

no?

Pretty sure Gary Klein would have put them on every bike if they were a viable technology while he was still in charge.

Heddwch
G


Monday, June 15, 2015

Four Hill of the Apocalypse Ride... tweak



There's a good secure parking lot at the start on this map, also parking up at the top of the bike path, or of course somewhere in the city.

The lower section there along route 1, I've already made a few tweaks...  attempting to commit route to memory, at least memory enough to minimize cue sheet and to minimize time looking at interactive map on phone.

#inprogress


On track maybe?

Maybe not.

Better headspace? Yes. Why?

No clue. Other than time. Like a big old steam ship it takes me a long time to get back on course. Too much surface above water, easily influenced by winds and weather out of my control. Need a deeper Keel, need some sea anchors that can be thrown out as a preventive measure.

I'll work on that.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

derailment **

reverting to draft

the last post...

because i recognize i'm in a deep dark unhappy very sad frustrated place and the words probably shouldn't be shared w/o a day or two of reflection/editing

momentary derailment

::slightly edited, from a much better headspace today.. but it is a good documentation of the process i suppose, poorly written and fraught with typos as all this shit is here but i'm no copy editor::

My struggles are realer than most first worlders. That's well documented here I think. Are there solutions? fixes? Yes. But most of them entail sacrifices that would compromise someone else, aka my family. Can't do that. Because while i'm a selfish asshole i'm not selfish enough to put myself in front of them.

That's me.

But I'm struggling, looking for motivation, and one thing I know I need is a few more metrics than phone based strava can provide. I'd also love to just let my old phone be phone/camera and not phone/camera/strava device. Hell last week I started the ride with full charge and made it to the shop with 1% left. It was a 40 mile ride.

My little brother sitting in Microscoft land there in seattle is a big fanboy of their heavy phones and OS "not open source no chance for virus" he doesn't like the andriod stuff or the offerings of the cult of the fruit. But then he had people who work at the big M giving him phones. Hell give me phones and I might be more favorable about it, but with those heavy ass ones? probably not much more favorable than now. But the battery life on them is probably significantly better than my old Moto RzrM.

Too much airing of contentious dirty laundry but meh, who cars, the only people I know with MS phones are from Seattle or work for Zeiss (most of them phones have 'zeiss' lenses). And correctly pointed out by the people in blue, them phones are better than the blackberry they had before.

More to MY point. I had a solution, one I (fucking stupidly) let myself get optimistic and excited about. Nope. Shot down cold. Not much of a glimmer of hope left...

It would have certainly make the Four Hills of The Apocalypse ride easier. But that window of opportunity is gone now. No chance to get one in time, and that is a big unfortunate trigger. But hey

Then again, the drive train on the black blue that I ride every f'n day is so far gone it scares me. It doesn't shift well, the chain is so worn that under load it will skip on the little chain ring. And the big ring looks as sharp and pointed as the jockey wheels on the rear der. It is bad. Like holy shit how do you ride it bad. The only thing saving my broke ass bacon is the fact that Shimano makes some quality fucking shit.

So today I'm gonna do the whole shoping trip, pick up dancers/carpool, and cook some dinner. L found a recipe/menu item she would like to have tonight out of the Feed Zone. She loves that cook book, esp the ideas, also she knows by looking at the recipe that they are pretty bland and need some extra seasoning, and she had suggestions.

One of my teammates has an equation for happiness...  right now, I can point to that as pretty much why I'm not, why I'm struggling.

But hey, if I wasn't always struggling, that would be f'n boring. Right?

I did talk to Bob from Bikeworks MA today, no TT this summer. "Maybe a MTB one" but no tremont tradditional one. It is over.

Guess I have to do what I feared and add another obligation to my shouldered load and do what I wish someone else could step up and do but since my motivations are to help me I guess I just have to do what I always do and do it myself... that GPS thing has a HRM and rear wheel pick up sensor thing, would mean I could make each commute count (keeping HR in recovery zone) and could do trainer intervals (20 min and 20/20s)...  but yeah. Summer kid care bills are kind of more important even if I am the one working the second job to try and pay for it all.

Bad head space eh? I shouldn't air anymore of my brain's challenges but I've also kind of stopped caring and also have realized anyone still reading this has heard it all before. So...  Yeah...

Running out of time, need to let go of these few minutes to myself and get back to doing everything that makes everything work.

heddwch
G


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Life is about our relationship with Dogs...

it can be, and for many it is.

I'm one of those.

I've had gaps w/o dogs...  but the years with, filled with far more...

That's what this film hurts so much. Aches and tugs at the heart strings.

I started crying after a minute or so, didn't stop for a long time after the film had finished.

If only every dog had this beautiful of a tribute, our companions deserve such spectacular treatment.

Life is made more beautiful with our dogs...

the narrative is humorous but intensely emotional, gut wrenching and in a way brings every emotional connection and pain we have to our companions.

My neighbor made a comment, about having dogs for so many years, he's old, retired, he said he couldn't bring himself to bring another dog home because he couldn't bear to live through the pain of losing another one.

There is little emotional pain comparable.... And yes - i've been reading lots of WWII stuff lately, the pain they all went through, Unbroken, Boys in the Boat, All the light we cannot see, life is strange and the meaning strong, but the connection with our dogs, when we make the connection. When the few of us who do make these connections make them... it is different.

Like Mike F said in the Pure Sweet Hell video narrative, those who get it know intrisicly...

literary liberty requested, hope that's okay Chip and Lesli, but I think it fits.

heddwch
G

Sunday, June 07, 2015

2015 Mark Nicholson Memorial Ride

A few photos https://goo.gl/photos/1QdswdiV1E1Aj8LF6 from the ride.

June 11 is the day we lost him. Two days before that he rode smackdown with us. I've written about that smackdown ride.

It was as informal as last year, but a bit different. Scotty B was in town from way out in the boonies of Canada, Sandy drove the two of them down from Boston for the ride. And lots of the team showed up. 9 Prov Velo kitted up people. 5 others. Not a HUGE ride but big enough.

Jessica took the team photo for me, and we rolled out, Costa showed up Scott G, PKS, and there was David B's friend. The ride started out on the usual smackdown. Headed to the first sprint point and then veering off towards Burlingame, down Burlingame. This was a no-drop ride. A social, but spirited ride. A few of those who were pushing it a bit or just going faster than the others had to wait a bit but it was pretty awesome.

It is a huge reason why riding is so fun. A group ride, where you can just go out and talk, and relax, and share in your passion, and have fun. Brent and I shared stories and memories of MLFN a bit as we were riding. He planned the route. He's good at it, knows the roads and loves the maps check out Brentacol if you need proof.

Costa mentioned that the original MLFN smackdown route is the first ride he ever did when get got into cycling. He found that route that Mark had laid out and started riding on it.

It was pretty f'n emotional for me honestly. But in a good way. Heck I'm crazy emotional too much of the time anyway. too many feels bottled up. Life's strange, and wonderful.  I know I was impacted by just being close to finishing reading the final book in the Hyperion series. I was reading until 12:30am and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, then woke up and made coffee and read. And had 40 min left in the book (kindle must have some way of guessing how fast one reads, page turns i guess - it is accurate) But I also had 45 min to get to the start of the ride. I was going to have to wait to finish the book when I got back home.  Ugh. But also it was at the part of the book where things were blossoming into awesomeness. So it was good stuff that I was getting to. It wasn't the easiest read at times but it was also extemely compelling and well crafted, tragic but fullfilling. And it tied in very much to Mark's love of life, and general loving gentle spirit.

The ride was over almost too soon. Suddenly we were on the blackstone bike path, talking and rolling along, and then...  the destination that Andrew and Brent were looking forward to. Hartley's Pork Pies. I didnot partake, but most everyone else did. We lingered there a bit while people ate the pork, beef or chicken pies, dripping sauce and grease through their fingers onto the sidewalk, and everyone seemed to enjoy them.

Initially I'd had hopes of gathering after for coffee somewhere, sitting down and talking, just hanging out. But that wasn't meant to be. I was asked to work at the shop for the Hope Street fair and more or less needed to ride up there, and others sort of split off and around. Brent and a few rolled off first. The rest of us left Hartleys a minute or two later, and Kirk Fox and I were joined by Jessica as we headed to the east side. Jessica peeled off down Main and the three of us headed up to 4th and Hope.

We had a few beers at the shop after wrapping up the day. Lots of laughs, good times. I rolled home, the rest of the gang headed to the Ivy to try and watch that horse race thing.

I made it home, finished the book, had one more beer, and suddenly was really really tired. But good tired, full filled and full of love and hope and warmth. Writing now, knowing I have to head back to the shop to work some more (there's work to do, and bills to pay), and then grab food on the way home to cook dinner, going to drag the trailer. Have to check see if I have any brake pads I can slip in the front on the black blue. Pad holder on Rim... aluminum on aluminum, not good for either, also loud.

One more coffee perhaps, maybe some food...  then I join the hoards on the bike path and make my way slowly and patiently along into the big city.

-g



Wednesday, June 03, 2015

big crazy ride idea for 2015

Big rides - talk floating around off line got me thinking.

I've been grumbling about needing one, and well... shit why do something simple?

Looks like I might get something in this weekend on Saturday, the MLFN memorial ride. A lower key than smackdown team ride in rememberance/memory of Mark Nicholson. Everyone is welcome to join, meet at DePasquale Square at 9am for ~40 miles of spirited conversational paced social kind of ride.

Tonight is smackdown and those two events along will make this one of the biggest weeks in a long time.

Perfect timing after no sleep last night. But hey timing is never really all that favorable for me is it. Nah.  But sometimes I get lucky...

Planning big stupid ride.

Got route sort of figured out even. Simple one. Not original, I'm sure someone else has probably done it before.

Basically hit the Northeast corner of RI, then the Northwest, then the Southwest and then head home via Narragansett. Roughtly 175 miles. All in RI. It isn't a 200 in RI but heck would be easy enough to just keep going south for 12.5 miles after getting to my house and maybe even ride across Mt Hope bridge just to put feet down on Aquidneck Island and hit the 200 in RI.  But I'm not Ted King or TimmyJ or RTK. From my house to through College Hill then Diamond Hill to Buck Hill to Watch Hill back to College Hill and home...

All the hills.  "Four Hills of Rhode Island Ride." https://goo.gl/maps/rVz4U
Maybe have to call it the " Four Hills of the Apocolypse "
There ya go - strava name already.

Typical GeWilli ride = unsupported, ride from home, loop, stupid long. And I'll probably be the bonkiest/slowest of the participants.

Fisher Sci annual vendor cook out was today, I may have had one too many burgers. Hoping the food converts to fuel tonight.

Focusing on work and the big ride have helped brighten the day a bit. But only a little.

Hoping for the legs to show up tonight.

We'll see...

not feeling super wordy at the moment...

heddwch
G