Hey Y'all

It has been a very long while.

Why?

dunno. no good answer. But maybe like all the breaks I take, they are designed to shed the hangers on, not the die hahds.

Life's strange. You know this. Anyone reading this has probably a few years on me or if not, you'll get there soon and know what I'm talking about.

My path is different.

Being different fucking sucks.

It means you can totally derail your day thinking about the fight you had with another kid in 6th grade and how all you want to do is find his all star athlete high school glory day fat ass and punch him square in the face.

But I won't. It won't fix anything. Won't help me. If i make it another decade or two it will just bother me the way the initial stuff does.

Things keep adding up, unaccounted variables. I try to keep doing what I can do, try to keep striving to be the best I can, falling short means I am hard on myself. no one else gives a shit if i do well or not, get it done well or not. The razor edge of my awareness. Uninfluenced by others, for good but mostly failing to meet my own standards, or the standards I see others seemingly easily achieve.

First blog back shouldn't be this, but it is. I've spent a couple months not drinking, absolutely no change, didn't lose weight, didn't feel any different, wasn't quite a tired, had a couple xtra dollars in my wallet (that I spent on burritos from Bagel Gormet) but no net positive change.

Not the best eh?

Could be worse.

Always could be worse.  And i'm still guilty and grateful that it isn't, but each of our burdens are our own, this is mine,

maybe I'll write more, more reuglarly.

but I might not, someone might make fun of my shitty spelling

heddwch
G

Keynote-Talk with Frank Turner @ m4music 2017