and this morning got some

visual proof that i'm chonk right now...

feel not like this but fuuuuck i look 'healthy'

dad bod

thick

oh well...  fuck it... slow process right?

Probably doesn't help that I just scrolled through a bunch of photos from '13 and yeah...  195 pound me looks skinny...  

Maybe I can blame it on Dean's kid design...  not flattering? or making it look worse?

I dunno.

it is hot outside... that much i know

def need to do some more insulating of the house, not sure if there will be a break in the heat but I guess maybe I shouldn't wait for that to happen...  

well - time to make the rest of everything happen

heddwch

G

i did something dumb

again...

okay fine, for a supposedly smart person I seem to do more than my share of inexplicably questionable stuff...

what was it this time?

I got on the scale.

This morning.

Daily poop timing is off (somehow is now mid-afternoon instead of morning) so that contributes but not much.

I feel skinnier, belly fat is going down, noticeably lately, pants fit better (the 34s that is - haven't worn the 36s - just been wearing shorts or the 34s)... I feel good, tired but that's from working too much and riding in the heat and having three or four days of poor sleep at night in a row. Slept really well last night though. That was nice.

Figured maybe I was headed down below 215...

Sure I'm 6'5" or so, formerly 6'6"

and well... 221... holding my phone...  put the phone down...  221... damnit.

that's the wrong direction...

weight is weird. Chasing the lightweight crew on their light weight XC bikes is def a challenge... Good, but still...  

is it the SSMTB? All that upper body work and back activation and stuff? is it all the low cadence, high force, commuting and riding? I guess I'm eating too much? I dunno...

feeling good though, fuck it...  not getting back on the scale for a while...

it is hot out there today.  Feels like 100°F plenty warm and sunny, and i'll have a nice strong headwind.

got in a great ride on Sunday - short but good. Only about 90 min. Just a relaxed tour of ABS's loop. it wasn't difficult or taxing staying on his wheel, the pace was comfortable but continuous, not much stopping, just some great flow, messed up a couple rock sections, nailed a couple others really well. 

Then hit the grocery stores and them home. I had finished the last book in E.Bear's Dust series, the Jacobs Ladder trilogy. Finished No Way (book 2) the day before. Tried to figure out what to read next so I went back to Mars (No Way and the previous book in the series One Way were based on Mars). KSR's Red Mars...  might as well dive into more SciFi...  

Garmin did finally upload - i should go pull the duplicate files but that's work. A couple extra miles will make up for the lost ones.

And guess who is hungry...  

It has been a long month of March. 

Where do we go from here?

Life's pretty crazy esp right now.

And it is hot outside...

have been thinking more and more about ditching the social medias - 

dropping off the radars so to speak...

leaving a note "you know where to find me" [here, duh]

but there's part of me that does get a benefit from the connection to so many good people working hard and fighting and doing the right things...  

also kind of thinking I need to maybe see what I can do to make a post card series - print them up and mail them out...  just an idea i've been working on...  wanting to get on the scopes and collect more images but too damn busy...

maybe i'll clean the office and gather samples that are all waiting to be imaged together and see what happens...

Gonna top up the water bottle with some cold water and head out in the heat...

stay cool

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch

G

pedal through

Need some inspiration? 

Need to watch some amazing footage from the PacNW wilderness?

 

there ya go

Watch it, Share it, think about it...

TT report of sorts

Hit a few good numbers last night on the TT.

Didn't feel great. Also felt like I left more out there than before, but also felt stronger in a few spots, faster, than the week before. Not quite under 20 minutes but a few seconds short on a hot night and the rain storm cell that tagged me at the end of the course. 

At some point it felt like the rear tire was going flat. It didn't, but made me think. A junior's parents following him in their big Sprinter actually lead him for a while and that got me distracted and irked, why? I dunno, but it is part of my brain I haven't managed to turn off - the cheating the privilege and bonus associated with it. What does it matter? It doesn't. It still bugged me.

But i pedaled on. hung out and rode home. 

With the Garmin Ransomware attack and all that data vulnerable and unavailable i ran strava on the phone as backup. Want that garmin HR data tho, I wonder what it looks like. can't upload to strava and analyze it because i'm not on a premium account there, and that's okay. No rush. 

Extra bonus was actually being able to sleep last night, first time I've slept well on a thursday night. Still woke up earlier than i wanted still really tired.  A bit slow this morning.  Still now. 

Put some air in the Crockett's monster tires, sure they are pretty small compared to the Stache but these big 45s are fun. Lighter gearing than the Surly SSCX but about the same speed with less effort, probably the 10+ pounds lighter has something to do with it... 

It was sticky and hot out there...  

and i already ate most of my lunch an hour ago...

that's usually not a good sign...

no, i didn't restock the office snacks...

also downside to only approved critical research going on is there are no people here, no extra food from seminars or special events or friday ice cream socials...  i guess i miss those extra calories but my body isn't...  taken two years but the beer gut is finally melting away...  maybe it is because I'm here hungry all day, or more that i'm riding more...  but really i'm just going to credit the mt biking...  

y'all wanna ride? I do...

see you on the trail tomorrow or sunday maybe? not a group ride, just a couple people. 

stay frosty

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch

G

see MTB is kind of awesome

Even Becca is figuring it out: http://www.cxhairs.com/2020/07/16/cyclocross-radio-ep-190-becca-returns-to-the-pit/

TT tonight - weather is weird.  

I'm not as optimally prep'd as I could be but LIFE. I'm not even pretending to be one, I just ride bikes. And sometimes I try to ride fast. 

Packed two tubes, still just the little pump. Added a few extra fasteners to the janky rear wheel cover. 

Lubed the chain this morning. 

Garmin is down so no uploads. Was excited to look at the whole how low can I keep my average HR down while riding in. Started doing it accidentally looking down and saw 88 chilling easy, and well - lets see how this goes - it is not easy keeping it in double digits up the short rises. But I can't check average because the server is down. 

I guess I'll double it with the strava on the phone and the garmin just to have TT reporting backup for today.

Gonna be interesting to see how today is. Feel pretty optimally caffeinated. Hoping there's enough fuel in the tank. Hopefully the monster storm misses us or only is super windy in a good direction...

lets see what happens

heddwch

G

falling

Something to think about i suppose?

A break from the doom and rage and sadness and futility

 

 there's also this one: only a minute and damn do i want to go out in the woods and swoop and flow, let the bike soak it up, push that front tire into the corner, hit the line just right or not right but still ride it out, launch off the rocks, pump through the whoops... the sound of the tire on the soil, the rocks, powering through that slight up hill turn and leaning back with the dropper down... I think that dropper is kind of the key - the bike is very much a BMX with monster truck wheels and a suspension fork. It flows, it rolls, and it is fun.

PFlax had a bit over on twitter - saying he doesn't understand loading the bike up and driving to ride.

I was absolutely like that. Still am.

for anything but mountain biking.

Sure I have trails outside the house- not a ton but some.

And no i don't generally drive to a ride unless it is a mtb one. so until basically August I drove to a ride maybe twice a year (not counting races). 

cycle swung back round again. i'm driving more to ride than I am riding if you exclude commuting. My miles are down but my riding hours are way up. 

the discussion last night was more about pointing out that in the woods you don't have to think of the deplorables driving death machines and zero regard for any life...  you have to focus on the line, pedaling, the weight it lifts is amazing and sort of one of those things you don't realize you're carrying around until it is lifted off your shoulders.

The bike path is great but it is a hyper awareness zone most of the time, hoards of maskless people, children, dogs, strollers, motorized skateboards, throttle e-bikes, joggers, walkers, groups...  it is different.

And yeah...

I want to go rip on the MTB right now...  And yeah, I think about falling, but I am also not racing, and i have nothing to prove to anyone, not even myself. I've messed up and come close a few times to big time yardsales...  but same can be said on the CX bike in the woods...  

Nothing's changed. 

But man I really don't feel like I'm this close to a half a century old. That's f'n OLD. Okay so it isn't THAT old but for me that dawning reality is sinking in. Was caught in a cross chat with a guy turning 53 or 54, he wanted to ride his age in miles and keep the average over 20 mph. I'm looking at him and thinking, damn do I look that old? 

I don't feel that old. 

And now for some reason I kind of want to ride somewhere with miles of descending....  Like that first taste of MTB single track in Ashland way back a million years ago.

We'd finish up class with Ron at UBI, and we'd all ride up to the top... and then back down. We rode up the fire road, granny gear, suffering, heavy rigid bikes...And then we'd turn and point down hill...  Felt like it took us two hours to climb and 10 minutes to go down. I don't know what the reality of it was. We just rode because it was fucking fun. 

it is only tuesday though... i think...  

gonna top up the water, and head home in the heat, it is hot...  too hot... the AC (at least we have that) is running non-stop. Kind of like the furnace in the winter when it is windy and super cold. Need to figure that out next...  or add it to the list of shit to fix in the house before too long.

Not much sense in delaying the heat anymore...  time to ride - it is only 90°F out there right now - not so bad...

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch
G

it isn't the heat

...  fill in the blank, but to be honest? It really is just the heat.

Sure a super humid 70°F/21°C is still humid and kind of heavy, but it is bearable and not the worst. Add heat to the mix and it yeah - it is really the heat...  humidity is just fine. A dry heat? sure that's easier to deal with, but it is still hot, will still fuck you up.

One thing I noticed on Sunday, riding in the woods. At least in the different section. The air under the pine trees was much drier than under the oaks and maples and other deciduous trees. The soil is also different, the rocks and roots and leaf litter. Different. Under the pines it is drier. Sure maybe because the pines prefer not to have such wet feet, the maples don't give a shit. It isn't chicken egg - just one succeeds better in a certain place. Trees have patience, time, and multiple opportunities to colonize and thrive in specific places. But that's looking at it from a population perspective. We as humans kind of have to our thing. We can move around, pick and choose. At least the fortunate of us can. And we have to live with the choices we make. 

Riding in the woods is different than on the road. Absolutely more tangible connection with nature, but maybe that's just for the Botanist part of me. Maybe not everyone else sees the changes in flora on subtle levels or feels as connected. 

I got thinking about ride arounds and other trail problems. Trails are kind of like rivers but the river being sentient. We flow along these trails. Sometimes we make new ones, sometimes they are well thought out, sometimes they just happen. sometimes the trails change, they get wider. Some times there's a break through, suddenly one bend is easier to cut off. So it gets cut off. Sometimes someone comes through and piles debris in the cut off and the flow resumes normally, back in the designed or haphazard path. I've added a few piles of junk in a few places that I've noticed on a few trails since just starting. I usually do that when riding alone. Stop, gather, move on.

I haven't stopped to re-ride sections even though maybe I got close to getting it just right and am starting to figure out the sequence of moves it takes to get my big bike and self over something with one gear. I understand sessioning, esp in race situations on courses. But on trails we ride routinely? Not so much. We'll see it again. I'll see it again. Maybe I'll be following someone and get towed right in the correct way. Maybe I'll actually finally get the combo of speed and line just right. This weekend I got really close to a few sections that have been giving me trouble. And I managed to screw up a few others than I usually get w/o a problem. It is strange, how the shit that gave me the most trouble and I didn't ever enjoy are things I have the most fun on and look forward to. The first time I rode I see dead people i walked nearly the whole thing. Yesterday I only dabbed twice, one longer than the other and it led to the second. 

A quick 45 min ride, maybe 50 min in the woods on Saturday morning was nice, had buckets of energy all day. Sunday's ride sucked it all out - much longer ride, chasing and mostly hanging on to Steve O and Liz A, hitting the more challenging stuff, not so much Syl's climbing loop level up and down but close. I was tired. Maybe i should gear down for a while, just to change things up. Go to a 22t rear cog for a while, spend some time going slower but maybe the same speeds but at a higher cadence. 

We'll see. The rear wheel was fixed and taken care of. The tires is kind of fucked but patches and repairs may be holding. Might just need to get a new tire for the back. Or try the XR2 again. But I really like the big knobs and the spacing of them on the XR4. Schwalbe is supposed to be coming out with a 3.0" tire soon, but not yet. 

Maybe the leaking is done and it will hold. Maybe.

Out of sorts lately, but not terrible. Not sleeping great, but maybe it is the heat. The AC in the house is barely keeping up. Probably a lot to do with running AC through duct work designed just for heating. Need the classic super intake above the stairwell in most houses build/designed for both. Def could use a high point return. Or something. Wondering if I can do some simple moving of the air from 2nd floor landing to the basement (there's an accessible chase). Just need an enclosed fan and some flex or other ducting to get the air from the Top down, or maybe push the other way - move the cold air up into the space...  not sure which would cool it down more. Fuck wouldn't be too hard to try eh?

Just need stuff. 

Was told I need to get some friends. I sighed, chuckled and shrugged. probably. I'm not good at that, or keeping friends, both my own fault and my personality. I'm a bit intense. Too much. And just different enough to be frustratingly not normal. Such is life eh?  Choices we make. Life goes on.

I didn't bring enough lunch today, ate all the snacks in the office last week, guess maybe i should just make some more coffee and  suck it up. 

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch

G

The TT - once again

At least this morning I didn't tweak my back. Could breath. Could put my elbows on the pads and get in the aero position w/o serious pain and could breath deeply. 

These are pretty solid things. I ate and timed the eating better. Downed 3/4 of a sleeve of Cliff blocks 15 min before rolling out. And didn't have the major huger crash riding home. Heck riding home felt pretty good. Sore for sure. 

It looks like i was about 30 seconds faster than last week. Turns out comparing your times from past segments is kind of impossible now. You can see your time and segments for each ride but w/o premium no comparison. 

I fucked up the start of the TT, hit start stop instead of lap, that delayed me. Then discombobulatedly slow to clip in (these damn Ultegra SPDs are not counter weighted well - and single sided is silly but they work). Should have gotten up to speed sooner, should have pushed a bit more at the top of that first peak and held that speed a bit higher, but I didn't have the fade by Agricultural and 118 came up really fast, usually there's some holy fuck this hurts moments along that section. Cranked it out feeling good, trying to keep the cadence and speed up and stay in the tuck. It worked pretty well. Surprisingly hit the halfway mark (118) at 9:2something...  that's not bad, hmm...  of course I did full on die on the rise there before the power lines and the right hand turn onto Reynolds. But got to Reynolds, and we all know how much this sucks, today there was a strong headwind on it too. I made a big effort to get up to speed, and looked down and holding 20 or so? WTF - that's pretty good for me for this road over the last few years...  okay lets push it...  felt gassed as we passed under the powerlines, tried to recover a bit on the downhill left hand sweeper, but also tried to keep pedaling... Again on Peck got passed, Ciril passed me, and then, I launched on the second half of the hill on Peck and went roaring past him and crested at a good clip and got it up to 32 and settled and coasted and recovered. Maybe should have started pedaling sooner or kept pedaling the whole time just to keep the speed up as long as possible but the recovery was important, and well I'm a big guy, and this bike rolls well...

Got through the last bit, working hard, but not quite as hard as I could have, I think I was distracted and left a little on the road. Still flew around the corner, probably slowed down too much on the right hander but I finished up and rolled back, then rolled down, adn back. Recovered and chatted (masked up) and then rode home.

Of course - i totally just now remembered some key factor. This morning I took the frame pump off the bike. the clamp rubs the inside of my fat thighs. And hey - I have yet to use it on the bike. Tossed the mini pump in the seat back. On waterfront drive, after dropping my bag off in the car, well...  got a flat. little cut. Very sad. But since I was early, no big deal. Caught a draft on the bullet train (John Harris/ButcherBlock and Davis) over on Brown and that felt pretty awesome. Good wake up. But still riding over felt good. Legs didn't feel terrible. 

And I made it home w/o another flat. But I will need to replace these tires soon. Maybe they'll hang on for a few more TTs. We'll see. 

Just put some lube on the chain - should be ready to go next week! Rear disc cover is pretty sad - needs some repair. Gotta come up with a better attachment system. Or replace it. It's pretty rough. But still aero.

Things have been busy, crazy, nuts. Lots of stressful conflict, but I think resolved. A handful of shit is broken but all fixed now and lots of other things needing work. But it can all wait till Monday. I hope. Gonna take a long weekend, use one of the vacation days I'll be losing if I don't use it. Will I relax? Nah probably head to the bike shop - fix the MTB, get it ready for the weekend one way or another and see what else happens. Odd not having 'the shop' just a few miles away. That one is still there but not quite the same...

Like I told CF - i think i can probably find more time on that course, riding it feeling like I did today is very different than how I rode it the last few (five?) years. Probably can't get back sub 19 min like my 2013 self, but maybe i can get sub 20, and that would be fabulous. Goals, even tiny little insignificant ones are good, esp with how the world is rolling now.

Y'all take care of yourself and everyone around you.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch

G

breaking shit

So riding the mountain bike is kind of perfect.

After the first morning and then doing the shop thing my back was feeling so much better, and my hip was still this morning but good now. Back was all better by sunday afternoon.

Of course I woke up and started getting ready only to realize well that my wallet (had ID and health card and work ID on me - from the TT) left wallet and the payment stuff (cards and cash) in an office drawer. 

The van was on empty. E was out of the house already and well, shit - gonna be late for the ride. made it to the office and then the nearest not overpriced gas station on fumes. I don't usually put 19 gallons in the big van.

Hit the trails. tried riding down fosters and fucked it up monumentally. i was a mess on the bike. But i felt better.

Sunday did a bit more riding. planned for longer, left earlier - headed out, chill pace, felt good though - Fosters over to Dead Shed and then up to Hopkins Hill lot. Saw wacko. Waited for him and the crew grew a bit. The pace was awesome, chill, fun, and we were seeking out the more flow. Kind of opposite of what we normally do. 

Came through stacy's ass (name of the trail - no i don't know who it is named after or who named it) we split up and headed back. And the flow and woops and stuff were so fun. Took a right at a pair of hikers smoking cigs. Yeah. tobacco, who the fuck smokes that in the woods, well these two were. and then I was just flowing behind steve, felt so good - ripping through...  then i heard a weird sound. Like a rock hit the chainstay or something. It was different, odd but not much in the feedback that seemed distinctive.

And then we took a left turn and the bike washed out more and... fuck...  rear is losing air...

fuck..

fuck fuck fuck....

but then I got excited because I could hear the leaking air  - maybe i can use one of my plugs and it'll be all good...

nope...

found a crack in the carbon rim. Cracking these rims would have absolutely destroyed the alloy rim, so that's not terrible. I started the day with 11.5 PSI in the rear tire - maybe I need to stick to 12 as a minumum with the new wheels. 

Well.

It wasn't holding air - looked like the air was leaking from the crack (it wasn't - there was also a very small cut in the tire right at that point - but not pluggable -  but i didn't notice that till I was taking it apart). Gonna need to get some more base tape. https://www.mcmaster.com/1781n11 looks like the right stuff - cheaper than others.

so anyway - bike is sitting at the shop and once again spent time with the bike instead of building bikes...  and hoping carbon care covers the wheel replacement/warranty. We'll see. I guess I need to make sure to put an extra bit of air, maybe run more sealant, dunno, but again, let me re-iterate. It SUCKS inflating a 29x3" tube with a mini-pump, and yes - C02 are awesome, but I'd need to carry a half dozen of them regular sizes to fill this tire. 

Was a great ride - not feeling tired - felt fresh was really having fun, back was loosening up, hip was feeling great. All good shit.

And even that didn't mess it up. I do have the back up wheels I can put on there, waiting on timing from the mothership as far as replacement goes. 

Tired - but feeling good. Murderbot book 5 was fabulous. Super enjoyable btw. also a quick read, easy read maybe but also fun so easier to read full on fun books.

The day has gone sideways but kind of normal - shit's gone sideways and we may be in a 4 wheel drift but i'm just barely able to keep it under control... barely...

so i guess it is all just as it is always...

i'm hanging on - reacting to shit instead of planning heading towards a destination...

life - 

that's why i guess Amor Fati Motherfuckers works so well for me - 

heddwch

G

ouch

managed some sleep, but fuck, me, i'm even more broken.

30 odd miles with a TT and a bad back on 177.5 cranks, then a recovery day with 175 cranks...  guess what feels like it is a year and a half ago to say 9 years ago? My left hip/lower back. The normal pain i lived with every day as I woke up and it slowly got better and manageable until I stopped moving overnight and then got worse again.

The pain that more or less completely went away last year after I switched everything over to 180 cranks and stopped riding the E bike more than once a week.

Guess I need some 180s on the Paramount. Fresh out of cranks tho, damnit. 

Don't want to disable another bike to get this one going. I could I guess, just don't want to.

Maybe I just need to not ride the e-bike and make it even worse after the TT. 

BUT i'm also going to try something, going to try the fix that worked last time. MTB ride and then working at the shop. 

Started reading Murderbot book 5. It is so good. Just want to read it non-stop. Not sure why it is so good but it is. I was saving it for when I finished Grail but man that has been tough to do.  Jumping the cue. 

still pretty tired, need to watch myself, also need to take two days off before August, at least two... maybe I can figure that out...

It is windy out there but no real precipitation, will hit the woods for a short ride,  fingers crossed it does the trick. 

I better get ready, gotta pack up for the whole day. And fill the van up with fuel, all this driving... not a fan but it has been overall worth it. We'll see how I feel in a month or so...

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch

G

streaks are what I do

I guess including a long streak of not writing here.

It has been busy. I have not felt inspired. I'm still tired. 

Trying to listen, trying to be present (in absence) for people I care for (almost called them friends, we've been over that)...

So what's been going on? Yesterday woke up with a back all wound up and ready to seize. I've described it before, used to happen quite a bit. More lately than in the past for some reason I'm not sure of. But unlike the last time (fixed with a long MTB ride and working on bikes), it was TT day. It started to twinge like it was going to seize making coffee. Yeah. Well then I had to put together the new Erg we've been waiting for months to get here. Not a big deal. But it inched the pain a bit up the scale, reduced the painfree motion a little more. 

And then I got on the Paramount to ride in to work. Tried the aero bars... ouch. the narrow shoulder position that normally isn't a problem made it worse. And it kind of just kept radiating all day. I was tired. Had an extra coffee at 4:15 - you know TT need any boost i can get. it was hot out. One bottle on the bike, one in the jersey. No food.. Dropped backpack off in the car at the boathouse on the way to the TT. 

Was. Not. Feeling. It. riding there. Trying to ride faster than 20 mph felt impossibly difficult. not a good sign going into a 20min TT. 

Bikeworks has been running this thing for a long time. I've been doing this same TT for how many years? 14-15? there were a couple years when it didn't happen.. but that's kind of a long time to ride the same thing.

last year i think I did them all bandit/cannibal style on the Klein. My times were s.l.o.w.

This year they went with strava timing, socially distanced, no grouping/gathering. self seeding and spacing. But starting all around the same time to make it comparable condition wise.

I rolled off somewhat early. There were a lot of fast people there. Good old Paramount with the aerobars 40mm deep carbon front wheel and janky plastic disc cover over the rear wheel. New fork from Burke meant I was not longer terrified of the spider cracked aluminum fork failing on a bump/seam in the pavement (of which there are hundreds on the ride there and back).

So, the laundry list of what the fuck am I doing at TT that any one of them should have been enough to just stay home? Tired, sleeping poorly lately, exhausted mentally, couldn't find energy to pedal, back seized and painful to breath deeply. And it was windy and almost 90°F. 

But fuck it - I'm stubborn, Amor Fati motherfuckers. Lets dig in and push because what other fucking choice does my brain give me? 

The thing is about this TT is I know it, really really well. The pacing is kind of automatic. I know where to push and when to chill, when to drive it hard and wind up empty at the end. I have a pretty good idea of how things are going based on my speed at certain points and the timing. 

I was actually kind of shocked to be just around the 10 min mark at halfway, that first part def felt slower than usual, speeds seemed like I could have been going faster, but okay. sure enough i started hating the tiny little elevation bumps heading into Reynolds... got caught just before reynolds...  made the turn not to far behind, and surprised myself by being 1-2mph faster than I have been on that first slight uphill on reynolds in the recent years. I also wasn't dying yet. I couldn't go much faster but i also wasn't as dead as usual.

And I wasn't losing ground to the person who caught me. 

The real halfway point isn't so much the mid point it is that turn on the Reynolds. From there it is a tough stretch, a few turns and there was someone else catching me (the staging was self seeding, some people waited 15 second some 45 seconds) guy on a big black new specialized TT/tri bike in black Rapha kit. He came around immediately after the turn on Peck. There's a hill there, a good one. 

Secret is to fucking drill it on that hill and over the top. You kind of have to, and you can because once you get of the top and up to speed you can coast and not slow down and recover.

I passed fancy TT bike guy on the hill and headed down chasing the other guy that passed me, I cruised coasting down the hill in the bars, over 30, tried to keep the speed up as much as possible, slowly slowly caught the guy up front, black TT bike guy wasn't gaining, weird, I dug and drove and pushed and breathed and then we hit the light, and the dangerous intersection ahead sign, I set up a bit more conservatively for the turn (fucking cars can kill you man it ain't worth it to go full gas through that thing) and TT bike guy closed the gap, out of that last turn I jumped and got back up to speed, dropped  back into the tuck and pedaled it out- tt guy 'raced' me to the line, so he passed me twice, but the other guy never caught me.

It fucking hurt like hell, I was dead at the end, dropped the bike and took off the helmet and dumped some water over my head off by myself on a corner of grass. 

Eventually I recovered- as predicted lots of the people were gathering and talking together. I stayed apart. 

Headed home with Burke. felt surprisingly good until we got to the end of Homestead, He had a 5 second gap at the top of Walker that stretched to 25 seconds by the time we got to wheeler track and well I never saw him after that. 

I was pretty dead though, hungry, legs were toast and there was a headwind. 

Took a while once I got home to eat, kid made quiche...  i should have had some more/extra CHO source because my brain was FUCKED trying to sleep, and my back was torturous. Couldn't move, couldn't get a position that wasn't painful...  finally stopped noticing the passage of time by about 1am. must have actually slept  because I didn't wake up until after 7:30...  and i probably would have kept sleeping if I had a choice. 

I'm coasting through the day. Took the Crossrip+ in to work today - yeah the e-bike - so lux so nice, so needed. Of course I headed out to leave wearing my cycling shoes, forgetting the bike has big flat pedals on there now. Changed shoes. Rode in.

Time for meeting - will finish lunch later.

remember

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch

G

PS - my time for the TT was about a minute faster than the fastest time last year. Glad I went. I think I can do better next time.

Sobriety and Singlespeeding

In popular cycling culture these two seem like diametric opposites.

But - i said a word in my head earlier today on the bike ride in.

let me set the scene.

So I'm riding, there's a person on a bike trailing behind me, a ways back, noticed them early on. Ever so slowly they were catching me, then they went by quite a bit faster than the approach speed. A burst maybe.

Sure enough the old guy on the fancy hybrid (flat bar road bike) slowed down after getting a bit in front of me. Kept his pace just slightly higher than mine. Gained a bit of ground.

Then we hit the little rise after the causeway. most people who ride the path call it a hill. 

I'm on the singlespeed (duh) and well - there's some extra motivation to keep the speed up - it just isn't possible to slow down like people with gears. very much true what old solobreak said "you only go as fast as your easiest gear"... 

So I hit the hill - and do a pretty decent job of maintaining a good bit of my momentum. And flat bar road bike guy -he shifted, way down. And I'm catching up. 

Singlespeeding is cycling attenuated. But in most cases that's really not too bad, you can still go fast esp if you can spin, and being forced to not go so slow isn't the worst.

So yeah - obviously been thinking about it and discussing it with others this whole different style that Singlespeed MTB is, and CX and well fucking any singlespeeding.

Got up the top of the hill - old dude on flat bar road bike shifts and drills it, restores the gap, and resumes his pace that is just a slight bit higher than i was lazily maintaining this morning. 

that's when the link between the two kind of hit.

The very first thing I noticed about being sober was the attenuation of emotion. And given how low the lows were - that was fucking fine. very much like singlespeeding, that top end? it might take a bit more work, and the highest high (speed or whatever) is slightly out of reach, but it is reachable, and those lows - just aren't there. 

Sure sometimes you have to get off and walk. And that, you know what? Is totally fine.

Brain kind of did that the rest of the way in. And THEN...

I passed a woman on another flat bar road bike. I was going faster, but then we had the long downhill and a blind left turn. All the years of pulling the kid in the trailer, well I still am cautious there. So I slow down, nearly stop, check that it is clear and roll through, I catch a glimpse of the woman on the bike - bombing down the hill...  Next is a 4 way stop, I slow down, check, THEN roll through after coming to nearly a stop. 
next up is the approach to the bike path, it is a stop sign, cross traffic goes fast and doesn't stop. 

I stop, look, clear and start rolling and she flies past me up the path. I laugh, shake my head. And now she's looking back because now I'm following, but she's picked he pace up, I'm on a singlespeed - i'm going my own pace.

Follow, she keeps looking back. I start feeling weird hoping I'm not making her feel worried or scared or something. She stops halfway up the winding bits on the ramp up to the India point part bridge to say hi to someone she knows sitting there. Super brief, I get one switch back ahead and she starts riding again.

I get up to the 4 way at wickenden. stop - car goes, i go, East, well i check as I ride through. Make the left on Williams, pause (okay clear) right on Hope. Then 4 way stop. I stop, car there first goes, I get started again and woman on flat bar road bike BLOWS past me. Okay not that fast but still she just kept going right through. And does this for the next 4 way stop signs. Lucky for her there is a green light crossing Waterman, And miracles of miracles there is a red light at Angel and she stops. But it turns green right away, she looks concernedly at me kind of sideways as I turn left and she continues on.

Attenuation. Caution. 

A curious interaction. 

So I working back, Singlespeeding is kind of like Sobriety, for me. Maybe not for you, or for others, and seems strange since most people with one gear are pounding beers, getting stoned, you know, 'having fun' but guess what, I'm having just as much fucking fun sober, probably more fun (than I would have been if not).

Life's pretty fucking strange.

My eye is VERY slowly healing (getting older sucks), and things are up in the air and all but I'm getting a stick shoved way up my nose in a few minutes and yeah... looking forward to that!

Y'all be good...

Don't race - the risk isn't to you (although it is) it is to those around you - going to a race isn't any different than going to an outdoor bar - avoid it.

Amor Fati motherfuckers

heddwch

G