Now more than ever.
Fucking national situation is amazingly horrible.
The reluctantly slow metabolism of the US is turning us into a really shitty place, and lots of evil white rich assholes are fucking everything up.
Too bad they won't actually hear this song, or actually register the impact or implications.
Sigh, my heart hurts with all this shit going on, all the layers and layers of it.
be more kind
Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Feeling lucky
Yes, I have two wonderful kids that make me a father. I have a step-father who's been a fantastic roll model and father, and I talked to my dad today. More on that last bit in a few.
Coffee, headed out, jacked up the van, cleaned off the interface a bit more with a razor blade. Got it installed. Couldn't really remember the belt routing, took me a few tries before I got it right. No, I don't have a manual for this car, but looking at the gasket, next time I'm going to look for 2005 Pacifica 3.8l instead of '09 Caravan data. Thinking about it makes sense, Chrysler sold VW all those engines for the Routan. We'll see next time I get it apart for the next issue. Or hopefully never have to think about it again. Doubt that will be the case.
Got it together. Did a handful of drain and fills with R/O water. Man that was rough and time consuming. Managed to get only about 6 quarts drained out of the 16 that were in there each time. But I did it three times. Warming the engine up between each, letting it get hot enough to open the thermostat, then letting it cool down until it wasn't dangerous to drain.
That third one I bolted the wheel on, headed out to repeat the last trip when the temps went from 220-240 in the engine and the heat took 30-60 sec to come on in the cabin and then wasn't really all that hot (it was hotter with the engine not even up to temp during the flushes). Did the loop, temp never went above 190 or so, always one tick below 200. Paying attention to it I could actually see the opening and closing of the thermostat. Temps dropped, and then came back up. Also noticing and liking that the temp gauge actually seems to report the temp, not just be an idiot gauge that they use in all the german VWs.
Also of key notice, unlike after the drive on the 1st with the lower rad hose being stone cold, it was hot. Waterpump WORKING. While it was cooling down from the test drive I put the fender liner on and the lower shroud. Put the wheel back on and torqued the bolts all down. But man those lugnuts were scorching hot. Had to be careful with the rotor and caliper there - also not cool. Also not cool? TODAY. A scorcher and brilliantly bright sun. At least there was a breeze and the hood gave me enough shade so I could hide and cool everything down easily enough. I may have gotten even more sun today. Oops.
Anyway, after that test drive...
I drained as much of the system as I could, even got the rest out of the block and the engine cooler that last time. Managed to get an extra quart. Toped it up with straight coolant (yeah did the math sort of). Unfortunately, I needed to get the leading plastic clip out of the lower shroud. It didn't come off in one piece. But there were well spaced holes that a zip tie worked well to hold it in place. So I did manage to fuck something up. With all that out I filled it up with the coolant. Not mixed because I had some pretty well diluted stuff in there, and going up to 70% coolant isn't bad, I don't think i'm there but I'm bad at maths. Three flushes 6 quarts added drained the first couple times, closer to 7 on the last one 16 quart system, assuming it was 50% at the start? Good enough. I hope.
Topped up the oil while waiting for it all to cool down. Was going to wash it but baking sun isn't supposed to be the right time to wash a car, although as little as we've washed this one I'm sure anything would have been better than nothing.
Once all set, I grabbed the impact gun I'd borrowed from DiPinto at the shop and headed over to return it so he could sharpen his mower blade.
Driving over there, well I am pretty sure I haven't seen it spend this much time below 200 line in a very long time. And being pretty damn near 90 in the shade, it was a good day to test it. Made it there, hung out and chatted and caught up with everyone, added a bit more coolant before leaving. Drove a while down the drag to the cheap gas, filled up the car. Paired the bluetooth with the phone, and drove home and the temp was pretty stable.
Nothing seems to be leaking under the car. The oil cooler line looks pretty scary but it is intact for the minute. I as much as I hate pre-emptive maintenance I may look at replacing that at the next oil change.
Right now I'm just cooking up some sauteed carrots, some hot italian pork sausages, and mashed potatoes for dinner, and drinking my 4th or 5th can of ice cold seltzer water.
Eat, shower, read, sleep...
After the test drive I did call my dad. Actually got him on the phone and despite the warnings from my brothers at how slow he's gotten (it did take a good number of rings to answer his cell phone) he sounded no different than the last time. We had a good talk, talked about the upcoming move and how it really wasn't what he planned, but that this was the best way forward, he would have liked to change it all and have certain things not happen that lead to this, and he's not sure about going from 8000' elevation to basically sea level... and stuff. But he did say not to worry or stress too much about getting out there, there's plenty of help to pick up any slack from me not being there, and it was good to hear something different than what my brothers have been saying. It was the kind of stuff I needed to hear from my Dad, he knows I'd be out there if I could, and I could, but it would destroy the week before I head out and then I'll be gone at a conference and two weeks of no one doing what I need to do means I have to spend a month playing catch up assuming there are no interruptions. And yes, I'm maybe a week away from being caught up from the beginning of May. I'm much much more at peace, mentally, when i'm caught up with everything. And if May and the first two weeks of June are any indication, I need to actively make sure I balance everything for me a bit more than I have been.
Anyway, a good day, not the classic Father's day of many folks, but it wasn't so bad. Got something done (hopefully, fingers still crossed, it takes a while for the grip of anxiety to wear off). But I'm a bit more settled than i have been in a while.
Roller coaster eh? But this time I put the brakes on and took a bit more control. Life's a process eh? Always testing, prodding, pushing I guess.
Being more mindful of where I step, not just blindly putting one foot in front of the other.
And I think writing has been helping. It helped me realize what the issues were that were super dark, helped me shake some of it, gave me some accountability for the new choice/change. Maybe I'll stick with it for a while.
heddwch
G
Coffee, headed out, jacked up the van, cleaned off the interface a bit more with a razor blade. Got it installed. Couldn't really remember the belt routing, took me a few tries before I got it right. No, I don't have a manual for this car, but looking at the gasket, next time I'm going to look for 2005 Pacifica 3.8l instead of '09 Caravan data. Thinking about it makes sense, Chrysler sold VW all those engines for the Routan. We'll see next time I get it apart for the next issue. Or hopefully never have to think about it again. Doubt that will be the case.
Got it together. Did a handful of drain and fills with R/O water. Man that was rough and time consuming. Managed to get only about 6 quarts drained out of the 16 that were in there each time. But I did it three times. Warming the engine up between each, letting it get hot enough to open the thermostat, then letting it cool down until it wasn't dangerous to drain.
That third one I bolted the wheel on, headed out to repeat the last trip when the temps went from 220-240 in the engine and the heat took 30-60 sec to come on in the cabin and then wasn't really all that hot (it was hotter with the engine not even up to temp during the flushes). Did the loop, temp never went above 190 or so, always one tick below 200. Paying attention to it I could actually see the opening and closing of the thermostat. Temps dropped, and then came back up. Also noticing and liking that the temp gauge actually seems to report the temp, not just be an idiot gauge that they use in all the german VWs.
Also of key notice, unlike after the drive on the 1st with the lower rad hose being stone cold, it was hot. Waterpump WORKING. While it was cooling down from the test drive I put the fender liner on and the lower shroud. Put the wheel back on and torqued the bolts all down. But man those lugnuts were scorching hot. Had to be careful with the rotor and caliper there - also not cool. Also not cool? TODAY. A scorcher and brilliantly bright sun. At least there was a breeze and the hood gave me enough shade so I could hide and cool everything down easily enough. I may have gotten even more sun today. Oops.
Anyway, after that test drive...
I drained as much of the system as I could, even got the rest out of the block and the engine cooler that last time. Managed to get an extra quart. Toped it up with straight coolant (yeah did the math sort of). Unfortunately, I needed to get the leading plastic clip out of the lower shroud. It didn't come off in one piece. But there were well spaced holes that a zip tie worked well to hold it in place. So I did manage to fuck something up. With all that out I filled it up with the coolant. Not mixed because I had some pretty well diluted stuff in there, and going up to 70% coolant isn't bad, I don't think i'm there but I'm bad at maths. Three flushes 6 quarts added drained the first couple times, closer to 7 on the last one 16 quart system, assuming it was 50% at the start? Good enough. I hope.
Topped up the oil while waiting for it all to cool down. Was going to wash it but baking sun isn't supposed to be the right time to wash a car, although as little as we've washed this one I'm sure anything would have been better than nothing.
Once all set, I grabbed the impact gun I'd borrowed from DiPinto at the shop and headed over to return it so he could sharpen his mower blade.
Driving over there, well I am pretty sure I haven't seen it spend this much time below 200 line in a very long time. And being pretty damn near 90 in the shade, it was a good day to test it. Made it there, hung out and chatted and caught up with everyone, added a bit more coolant before leaving. Drove a while down the drag to the cheap gas, filled up the car. Paired the bluetooth with the phone, and drove home and the temp was pretty stable.
Nothing seems to be leaking under the car. The oil cooler line looks pretty scary but it is intact for the minute. I as much as I hate pre-emptive maintenance I may look at replacing that at the next oil change.
Right now I'm just cooking up some sauteed carrots, some hot italian pork sausages, and mashed potatoes for dinner, and drinking my 4th or 5th can of ice cold seltzer water.
Eat, shower, read, sleep...
After the test drive I did call my dad. Actually got him on the phone and despite the warnings from my brothers at how slow he's gotten (it did take a good number of rings to answer his cell phone) he sounded no different than the last time. We had a good talk, talked about the upcoming move and how it really wasn't what he planned, but that this was the best way forward, he would have liked to change it all and have certain things not happen that lead to this, and he's not sure about going from 8000' elevation to basically sea level... and stuff. But he did say not to worry or stress too much about getting out there, there's plenty of help to pick up any slack from me not being there, and it was good to hear something different than what my brothers have been saying. It was the kind of stuff I needed to hear from my Dad, he knows I'd be out there if I could, and I could, but it would destroy the week before I head out and then I'll be gone at a conference and two weeks of no one doing what I need to do means I have to spend a month playing catch up assuming there are no interruptions. And yes, I'm maybe a week away from being caught up from the beginning of May. I'm much much more at peace, mentally, when i'm caught up with everything. And if May and the first two weeks of June are any indication, I need to actively make sure I balance everything for me a bit more than I have been.
Anyway, a good day, not the classic Father's day of many folks, but it wasn't so bad. Got something done (hopefully, fingers still crossed, it takes a while for the grip of anxiety to wear off). But I'm a bit more settled than i have been in a while.
Roller coaster eh? But this time I put the brakes on and took a bit more control. Life's a process eh? Always testing, prodding, pushing I guess.
Being more mindful of where I step, not just blindly putting one foot in front of the other.
And I think writing has been helping. It helped me realize what the issues were that were super dark, helped me shake some of it, gave me some accountability for the new choice/change. Maybe I'll stick with it for a while.
heddwch
G
Happy Father's Day
Had meant to wake up extra early and get a start on working on the van before the sun got too high and the temps too warm.
But no dice.
Slept in a bit extra, not too much, made coffee, drank coffee and wrote RRRR recap.
now finishing coffee, staring at the gasket, had a dream I put the first gallon of coolant in to start the flush and wasted $20 and was furious at myself. Def going to keep that in mind as I head out.
Father's day hasn't really held that much significance. Some years I've gone for big bike rides, some years, many lately it seems, the girls are all off on a vacation with my in-laws, or something, and me here with the dog(s).
Hopefully I can get the van back together in a reasonable amount of time and then head into the bike shop, hopefully in the van to test all the stuff I've done before sending my wife off in it as her preferred daily driver (although she's been doing well with the Volvo all this time).
Okay. well. Here we go. Time to put the boots on, grab the safety glasses and go work out in the sun (there ain't no shade tree/garage for me).
heddwch
G
But no dice.
Slept in a bit extra, not too much, made coffee, drank coffee and wrote RRRR recap.
now finishing coffee, staring at the gasket, had a dream I put the first gallon of coolant in to start the flush and wasted $20 and was furious at myself. Def going to keep that in mind as I head out.
Father's day hasn't really held that much significance. Some years I've gone for big bike rides, some years, many lately it seems, the girls are all off on a vacation with my in-laws, or something, and me here with the dog(s).
Hopefully I can get the van back together in a reasonable amount of time and then head into the bike shop, hopefully in the van to test all the stuff I've done before sending my wife off in it as her preferred daily driver (although she's been doing well with the Volvo all this time).
Okay. well. Here we go. Time to put the boots on, grab the safety glasses and go work out in the sun (there ain't no shade tree/garage for me).
heddwch
G
RRRR 2.0 recap
What a ride.
It worked out, went well. We had 45 or so people +/- and a range of abilities that went from incredibly fast to just happy to be riding and looking for the challenge.
I headed out a few minutes later than planned. Relaxed morning. But light on the coffee I stuck with one cup, then filled a bottle with some instant coffee (hey it is cold and turns out, it tastes just like puting fresh good coffee in a bottle and drinking it a couple hours later) got dressed and skipped the sunscreen (tan line activation). One burn in three or four years is probably not the worst thing I've done. Actually has faded pretty well as of this morning. Not so bad.
Rolled out, felt slow. But timing wasn't so bad. Got there after Roger and Lesli but before most people. Got a large coffee from 7 Stars and chatted, worked on saying hi to people, welcoming them. Got a IG story with Softswerve as she rolled up but didn't post till after the ride. David B ran the reg/sign in like the smooth warm and welcoming pro that he is. We collected some extra cash at the start for 1PVD and rolled out as a group. The stoplight actually made the first split. I wound up rolling out with the last of them as Syl was kitting up and getting ready to go. David B was still in street clothes and wound up riding sweep with Giulia, at least until... i'll get to that.
Wound up with Lesli and Roger at the start there, we all promptly blew through the stop sign just like I had asked everyone not to and of course I got a bit of grief for that. Waved at Walter A in his front yard (derdowski shoutout), and headed down.
Everyone missed the first big red arrow and didn't turn until after the tracks, but I stopped and got the group in the right space. Then What? a tube? Half way down the first track section was an inner tube. Looked clean and flat. Best pick it up. Who knows. Also no sense in littering. I roll back up catch up to everyone walking over the railroad bridge, I ride it and am w/in this last group. We hit the first side section, I help navigate a bit, a good intro to how the course is marked for everyone, and then help a few with a sand bypass that skips a super fun but super sketchy downhill and some sand stuff, and by doing that found the best 'whoops' around, like no need to pedal perfectly spaced pump track. So fun.
We all gathered to re-group at Waterfront Drive and headed on to the next section, the road transfer. One of the few.
Yeah this ride isn't RdR level lots of road linking single track. This is lots of single track linked with a little bit of road. Syl had caught us by then and I took point and he agreed to drop back for now to ride sweep. we had a pretty large group at that point. Maybe half? 18-20 or so riders.
We hit the secret trail behind the park off Pawtucket Ave, cut through the neighborhood and over to the trails in Hunts Mills. At the fresh stuff along the creek/reservoir run off, I took some folks around to skip the rocky section. We got to the parking lot on the Seekonk side north of the road and Jack M had a flat. We waited for the stragglers to make it and Jack changed the flat, and my big Zefal HPX 4 got its first use. After a few minutes of socializing we sent everyone on. Soon Jack was back in biz and we headed off to catch up. And we did. To the tail end of everyone. Until we hit Jim with a flat tire.
He urged us not to wait but Jack wasn't having any of it and I was good with hanging and well, that turned out to be good. His spare tube wasn't holding air and that one that I picked up (Jim actually saw it fall out and the guy who dropped it said 'I have another one' and kept riding) worked. And he used the frame pump.
While that was happening Giulia and David rode up, truly riding sweep. Once Jim was underway we got our shit together and the five of us headed out. Only to join up with Softswerve and Syl and a couple others trying to figure out what to do with her bike and the broken fork. Like cracked ALMOST in half at the fork crown. Like Fuck that's BAD broken. Giulia and Softswerve walked out and made it to G's place to get a different bike for her to ride and finish the route, the rest of us headed onwards. Eventually we wound up catching up with the Chapman crew in the cemetery. Headed around up to the north section. Played in the sand there. Used the frame pump again maybe? Getting hazy about the middle use of the pump.
Hit the tracks and headed south. Syl and I had been taking turns riding sweep now that we'd lost the official sweep riders with the broken fork. David B helped a bit but he wound up being somewhere in the middle most of the time. Riding sweep isn't always the most fun, you're not riding your pace, but it is rewarding and gives you a nice sense of purpose, even if it means getting to the end of the ride 2+ hours after the leader. Yeah. Graham was on the money saying it would take some people over 4 hours to do the ride. I think we maybe did it in under 4 but my Garmin crapped out and didn't record the file so WHO KNOWS. Damn technology. It was pretty uneventful. The Chapman gang was def on a more relaxed pace, chilling and regrouping for a bit, quite a bit. But it def made it more social and fun and relaxed and was awesome. At one point Mitch got a flat. Took a bit to change, tire wasn't seating well, I actually took over to try and get it set up right. He didn't have a pump, but did have a tube. That took a while. The mosquitos found us and I figured everyone was long gone, we were going to improvise and backtrack to the bike path to catch up, but just as we decided to do that Syl shows up. They were all waiting for us on the tracks. And off we went into the scrub zone sand and the last root section and then through the farm field and back to G&G's house.
We ate some food, hung out, Burke even had time to ride home, shower, change clothes and bikes and get back before we rolled in.
It was a good time. It was a great ride. I guess it is a positive sign when everyone asks if we can do it again and soon. People made new friends, got to know others better and some just had a kick ass fun day on the bike that benefited a really important 100% volunteer run organization.
I think we'll do it again soon.
Heddwch,
G
It worked out, went well. We had 45 or so people +/- and a range of abilities that went from incredibly fast to just happy to be riding and looking for the challenge.
I headed out a few minutes later than planned. Relaxed morning. But light on the coffee I stuck with one cup, then filled a bottle with some instant coffee (hey it is cold and turns out, it tastes just like puting fresh good coffee in a bottle and drinking it a couple hours later) got dressed and skipped the sunscreen (tan line activation). One burn in three or four years is probably not the worst thing I've done. Actually has faded pretty well as of this morning. Not so bad.
Rolled out, felt slow. But timing wasn't so bad. Got there after Roger and Lesli but before most people. Got a large coffee from 7 Stars and chatted, worked on saying hi to people, welcoming them. Got a IG story with Softswerve as she rolled up but didn't post till after the ride. David B ran the reg/sign in like the smooth warm and welcoming pro that he is. We collected some extra cash at the start for 1PVD and rolled out as a group. The stoplight actually made the first split. I wound up rolling out with the last of them as Syl was kitting up and getting ready to go. David B was still in street clothes and wound up riding sweep with Giulia, at least until... i'll get to that.
Wound up with Lesli and Roger at the start there, we all promptly blew through the stop sign just like I had asked everyone not to and of course I got a bit of grief for that. Waved at Walter A in his front yard (derdowski shoutout), and headed down.
Everyone missed the first big red arrow and didn't turn until after the tracks, but I stopped and got the group in the right space. Then What? a tube? Half way down the first track section was an inner tube. Looked clean and flat. Best pick it up. Who knows. Also no sense in littering. I roll back up catch up to everyone walking over the railroad bridge, I ride it and am w/in this last group. We hit the first side section, I help navigate a bit, a good intro to how the course is marked for everyone, and then help a few with a sand bypass that skips a super fun but super sketchy downhill and some sand stuff, and by doing that found the best 'whoops' around, like no need to pedal perfectly spaced pump track. So fun.
We all gathered to re-group at Waterfront Drive and headed on to the next section, the road transfer. One of the few.
Yeah this ride isn't RdR level lots of road linking single track. This is lots of single track linked with a little bit of road. Syl had caught us by then and I took point and he agreed to drop back for now to ride sweep. we had a pretty large group at that point. Maybe half? 18-20 or so riders.
We hit the secret trail behind the park off Pawtucket Ave, cut through the neighborhood and over to the trails in Hunts Mills. At the fresh stuff along the creek/reservoir run off, I took some folks around to skip the rocky section. We got to the parking lot on the Seekonk side north of the road and Jack M had a flat. We waited for the stragglers to make it and Jack changed the flat, and my big Zefal HPX 4 got its first use. After a few minutes of socializing we sent everyone on. Soon Jack was back in biz and we headed off to catch up. And we did. To the tail end of everyone. Until we hit Jim with a flat tire.
He urged us not to wait but Jack wasn't having any of it and I was good with hanging and well, that turned out to be good. His spare tube wasn't holding air and that one that I picked up (Jim actually saw it fall out and the guy who dropped it said 'I have another one' and kept riding) worked. And he used the frame pump.
While that was happening Giulia and David rode up, truly riding sweep. Once Jim was underway we got our shit together and the five of us headed out. Only to join up with Softswerve and Syl and a couple others trying to figure out what to do with her bike and the broken fork. Like cracked ALMOST in half at the fork crown. Like Fuck that's BAD broken. Giulia and Softswerve walked out and made it to G's place to get a different bike for her to ride and finish the route, the rest of us headed onwards. Eventually we wound up catching up with the Chapman crew in the cemetery. Headed around up to the north section. Played in the sand there. Used the frame pump again maybe? Getting hazy about the middle use of the pump.
Hit the tracks and headed south. Syl and I had been taking turns riding sweep now that we'd lost the official sweep riders with the broken fork. David B helped a bit but he wound up being somewhere in the middle most of the time. Riding sweep isn't always the most fun, you're not riding your pace, but it is rewarding and gives you a nice sense of purpose, even if it means getting to the end of the ride 2+ hours after the leader. Yeah. Graham was on the money saying it would take some people over 4 hours to do the ride. I think we maybe did it in under 4 but my Garmin crapped out and didn't record the file so WHO KNOWS. Damn technology. It was pretty uneventful. The Chapman gang was def on a more relaxed pace, chilling and regrouping for a bit, quite a bit. But it def made it more social and fun and relaxed and was awesome. At one point Mitch got a flat. Took a bit to change, tire wasn't seating well, I actually took over to try and get it set up right. He didn't have a pump, but did have a tube. That took a while. The mosquitos found us and I figured everyone was long gone, we were going to improvise and backtrack to the bike path to catch up, but just as we decided to do that Syl shows up. They were all waiting for us on the tracks. And off we went into the scrub zone sand and the last root section and then through the farm field and back to G&G's house.
We ate some food, hung out, Burke even had time to ride home, shower, change clothes and bikes and get back before we rolled in.
It was a good time. It was a great ride. I guess it is a positive sign when everyone asks if we can do it again and soon. People made new friends, got to know others better and some just had a kick ass fun day on the bike that benefited a really important 100% volunteer run organization.
I think we'll do it again soon.
Heddwch,
G
Friday, June 15, 2018
If the plan doesn't work,
"If the plan doesn't work, change the plan, but never the goal."
Frustrating day. In many ways. Not in others, end result I kind of didn't get anything substantially accomplished, made more work for myself and well... got pretty frustrated for a while.
Instagram story caught the begining.
So short version, much like the passat and not really realizing that the problem was simply a started, not a clutch and going ahead with removing everything to take the transmission off and ordering all the parts only to really find the only thing wrong was the starter, well, I assumed the waterpump was dead. Symptoms seemed to fit it. Granted the hose had split, was blowing coolant out. Finding the clear reservoir empty, and filling it back up seemed logical that the pump was done.
The waterpump in all the diagrams and tutorials I saw showed it down in the bottom, easy to get to corner, no problem.
It wasn't there. It was the hardest place to get to.
I decided to drain the coolant though, didn't want to make a mess, not much came out. I should have seen that as - hey dumbass, you are wrong.
But nah, I drained it. Then took the waterpump out.
Obviously it was in perfect condition. no problem. The gasket wasn't though. I needed a new one. But I also discovered that the lower water pump pipe was so corroded that it was leaking. Oh that's new, as in not good. Hmm I wonder how long that's been going on. Shit I wonder how long the fucking radiator has been low.
Leading into it the night before I was woken up at 2:45 and subsequently went to pick up a freaked out kid from a sleepover a little while after that. Sure Sure coulda left them there to teach em a lesson but there were too many unknowns and i was awake at that point. Kind of disrupted that night and then it got busy and it has still been a long week. Original plan was to get this car done early, head to work or the bike shop.
I fell back asleep, was out cold, dreaming and everything until the kids came in at 10:15 and woke me up asking if i was going into work today.
Woops.
Coffee, moved the empty garbage and recycling cans in, moved the van into position.
more coffee, time to gather all the various bits and air compressor, jack, tools, from their spots all over the place (yeah i don't have a garage)... get started... get to that point, wife comes home early (summer hours, close at 1 on fridays) i head off to return the new waterpump (yeah yeah i should have just replaced it but the one in there had a more substantially attached impeller than the replacement and well, i figured I could get the $3 gasket at one of the dozen autopart stores around, they all have the pump instock. and besides I needed that lower metal pipe and the upper hose... and another gallon of unmixed coolant blah blah)
drove around, all the way to pawtucket where they supposedly had one but nope. could have made a gasket, nope, don't want to risk fucking it up and having to do it all over again.
got home, put the new hoses on, removed and cleaned up the overflow container, put it back on and put the front wheel back on and put everything away.
Then i realized I haven't eaten anything all day. Oddly not hungry all day. weird. or normal.
I didn't get the Crockett cleaned for tomorrow. I'm riding there, will get me an extra hour or so on the bike, will head home, get the part, get some more di water, i mean distilled not DeIonized water, and wrap that up tomorrow with luck.
My plans haven't been working lately, but the goal hasn't really changed.
RRRR is tomorrow. I'm going to be distracted, focused on the amount of shit i need to do, the lack of keeping up with the building of bikes, the pressing need to build the bikes to cover all the added expenses, juggling the rest of it all. There's a lot going on, I'm just hoping i can escape with everyone and ride and stuff tomorrow.
So yeah things are turning around, kind of. Back off the sauce. That brief return my eyes were getting worse, harder to see/focus, and a few other physical issues I noticed, just slow, tired but more than just tired. Now I'm just tired, and my eyes are almost back. All good things. But I'm anxious, to be honest, about how to deal with any social situation anymore. That being said in the open, well, plans change, the goal is still to have fun right? That original plan really doesn't work, although it is kind of fun, there's def a release and an activation with the first couple beers/vodka sodas, but as crazy as it sounds a couple times this week, I felt the same, identical, feeling, it was strange but weird and kind of cool.
All I gotta do now is get my shit together and start riding. But this week has been more pedaling time, esp looking at tomorrow, than in many many many...
i am tired and tomorrow is going to be early, esp if i'm going to get my shit together in time not to be late. I'd tossed around the idea of maybe attaching the crockett to the rack on the Crossrip+ just to cut the time down getting there but gave up on the idea. Just gonna get there under my own power, slow as can be but I'll get there.
I'll probably buy a cup of coffee, and sit down and wait for everyone to roll up/show up. Unless I'm late...
gotta remember the sunscreen. if i don't forget the sunscreen it will be the first time this year I've put any on. I got a bit too much sun on Thursday marking the course but no burn. Tomorrow will be more time in the sun, we'll see if I remember, or if I'll just be nursing a sunburn for a couple days.
be well
heddwch
G
Frustrating day. In many ways. Not in others, end result I kind of didn't get anything substantially accomplished, made more work for myself and well... got pretty frustrated for a while.
Instagram story caught the begining.
So short version, much like the passat and not really realizing that the problem was simply a started, not a clutch and going ahead with removing everything to take the transmission off and ordering all the parts only to really find the only thing wrong was the starter, well, I assumed the waterpump was dead. Symptoms seemed to fit it. Granted the hose had split, was blowing coolant out. Finding the clear reservoir empty, and filling it back up seemed logical that the pump was done.
The waterpump in all the diagrams and tutorials I saw showed it down in the bottom, easy to get to corner, no problem.
It wasn't there. It was the hardest place to get to.
I decided to drain the coolant though, didn't want to make a mess, not much came out. I should have seen that as - hey dumbass, you are wrong.
But nah, I drained it. Then took the waterpump out.
Obviously it was in perfect condition. no problem. The gasket wasn't though. I needed a new one. But I also discovered that the lower water pump pipe was so corroded that it was leaking. Oh that's new, as in not good. Hmm I wonder how long that's been going on. Shit I wonder how long the fucking radiator has been low.
Leading into it the night before I was woken up at 2:45 and subsequently went to pick up a freaked out kid from a sleepover a little while after that. Sure Sure coulda left them there to teach em a lesson but there were too many unknowns and i was awake at that point. Kind of disrupted that night and then it got busy and it has still been a long week. Original plan was to get this car done early, head to work or the bike shop.
I fell back asleep, was out cold, dreaming and everything until the kids came in at 10:15 and woke me up asking if i was going into work today.
Woops.
Coffee, moved the empty garbage and recycling cans in, moved the van into position.
more coffee, time to gather all the various bits and air compressor, jack, tools, from their spots all over the place (yeah i don't have a garage)... get started... get to that point, wife comes home early (summer hours, close at 1 on fridays) i head off to return the new waterpump (yeah yeah i should have just replaced it but the one in there had a more substantially attached impeller than the replacement and well, i figured I could get the $3 gasket at one of the dozen autopart stores around, they all have the pump instock. and besides I needed that lower metal pipe and the upper hose... and another gallon of unmixed coolant blah blah)
drove around, all the way to pawtucket where they supposedly had one but nope. could have made a gasket, nope, don't want to risk fucking it up and having to do it all over again.
got home, put the new hoses on, removed and cleaned up the overflow container, put it back on and put the front wheel back on and put everything away.
Then i realized I haven't eaten anything all day. Oddly not hungry all day. weird. or normal.
I didn't get the Crockett cleaned for tomorrow. I'm riding there, will get me an extra hour or so on the bike, will head home, get the part, get some more di water, i mean distilled not DeIonized water, and wrap that up tomorrow with luck.
My plans haven't been working lately, but the goal hasn't really changed.
RRRR is tomorrow. I'm going to be distracted, focused on the amount of shit i need to do, the lack of keeping up with the building of bikes, the pressing need to build the bikes to cover all the added expenses, juggling the rest of it all. There's a lot going on, I'm just hoping i can escape with everyone and ride and stuff tomorrow.
So yeah things are turning around, kind of. Back off the sauce. That brief return my eyes were getting worse, harder to see/focus, and a few other physical issues I noticed, just slow, tired but more than just tired. Now I'm just tired, and my eyes are almost back. All good things. But I'm anxious, to be honest, about how to deal with any social situation anymore. That being said in the open, well, plans change, the goal is still to have fun right? That original plan really doesn't work, although it is kind of fun, there's def a release and an activation with the first couple beers/vodka sodas, but as crazy as it sounds a couple times this week, I felt the same, identical, feeling, it was strange but weird and kind of cool.
All I gotta do now is get my shit together and start riding. But this week has been more pedaling time, esp looking at tomorrow, than in many many many...
i am tired and tomorrow is going to be early, esp if i'm going to get my shit together in time not to be late. I'd tossed around the idea of maybe attaching the crockett to the rack on the Crossrip+ just to cut the time down getting there but gave up on the idea. Just gonna get there under my own power, slow as can be but I'll get there.
I'll probably buy a cup of coffee, and sit down and wait for everyone to roll up/show up. Unless I'm late...
gotta remember the sunscreen. if i don't forget the sunscreen it will be the first time this year I've put any on. I got a bit too much sun on Thursday marking the course but no burn. Tomorrow will be more time in the sun, we'll see if I remember, or if I'll just be nursing a sunburn for a couple days.
be well
heddwch
G
Saturday, June 09, 2018
Unpacking
There was a bit there in that last one eh?
The timing of AB's suicide shook me a bit to be honest. Spent the day yesterday kind of in a huge fog. Major introspection I suppose. Folks that reached out - thanks, but one thing a few twitter threads helped to understand more clearly about myself. If you ask if someone like me, probably AB and a lot of others, they are going to decline the offer. Lots of reasons that don't make sense unless you're that very narrow type of person. Adam Myerson even had a tweet that hit it pretty square on. https://twitter.com/AdamMyerson/status/1005216169941504001?s=19 I def don't feel like I'm spreading the light but I will acknowledge that while I sometimes feel like a self centered asshole I do most everything for reasons not mine. Adam def correct, empaths are strange and if you're not one you won't ever get it. But still some of the more accurate reasons for declining like i said tend to be a variation of Embarrassment, Pride, Shame, Selfreliance. "I can do it, just not right now." Offers we get and we know are from the best places, too generous, can't be accepted. Often if we can't do it ourselves we're not deserving of accepting the help... maybe "we're" deserving, but being and feeling it are not the same and I usually don't think i'm deserving of it. This was one of the other threads, can't find the other one at the moment https://twitter.com/sheilakathleen/status/1005116845240848385?s=19
And these fogs and waves come and go. Some times far more intense and unexpected and once they settle little things that are normally dealt with are inconsequential, and then all the lingering deeper shit we normally can pack away or manage come to the surface. The feedback loop is really really fucked up. For some people. And then sometimes you have a couple weeks like I just did.
Yeah I admire those who say "just flip the switch" and can do it. I can't.
But I'm also to the point where I know enough that I can find the light and hang on and get through it.
myself.
The car thing is overhanging. Still haven't fixed the waterpump. I miss the days of close friends that it never felt like an imposition to see if people wanted to get together to fix the car. Was thinking about that this morning. That social side of self-reliance. I can fix it. But when. Then the pressures mount and the second job, the activities. The anxiety of today and getting everything done and people where they needed to be wound up sorting itself out.
Turned into: Not a problem. Once it did I was able to relax a little more, I spent the whole night thinking, not sleeping much, or just in a high functioning somewhat concious sleep space. I was going to head to the shop, but words were propagating in my head and i figured fuck it - I need to get them out, I'll get to work when I do. If i get home later and have to do grocery shopping before dinner? so be it. That or we wing it and I go shopping in the morning. Not going to worry about it.
For a change.
The van will get fixed and we'll be a one car family until it is. We'll get everything done, the oldest has planned her 18th birthday, a dinner out with her closest friends, considering I don't even remember mine I don't feel too bad, they are an adult and as long as they are having fun, and that group of kids has fun and is very supporting of each other. Yeah - no memory of my 18th but my 19th was a surprise party thrown by my GF and i didn't know it was a surprise or a party until everyone was there and were totally in a state of shock wondering why I wasn't cluing in on why everyone was there - it was awkward.
Bonus for waiting this long to ride in to work at the shop today is the bike path gets pretty empty even on the best days during the lunch 'hour' esp along the stretch from my house to the squantum place where I head north. Same when it is time to head home usually.
I still haven't called my dad. But then he hasn't called me either.
The dogs are here right next to me, both sleeping peacefully and I think would probably prefer that I just stay here and hang out with them all day and live the dog life of sleeping and being lazy.
I did wind up finally finishing book 7, Persepolis Rising. No resolution, guess we wait till book 8 to find out what happens.
Not sure I'm going to finish Children of Time by Adrian T. just can't seem to get into it, besides - i'm not a fan of giant super smart spiders.
Plenty to do besides read now that i've been able to finish that book.
Like get my ass out the door (lunch is already packed, just gotta put shoes on and helmet and head in.
I think i'll do that, get some bikes built, not stress on how fast I'm building them and just get it done, and do what I can do at a slower pace, a recovery pace.
heddwch
G
The timing of AB's suicide shook me a bit to be honest. Spent the day yesterday kind of in a huge fog. Major introspection I suppose. Folks that reached out - thanks, but one thing a few twitter threads helped to understand more clearly about myself. If you ask if someone like me, probably AB and a lot of others, they are going to decline the offer. Lots of reasons that don't make sense unless you're that very narrow type of person. Adam Myerson even had a tweet that hit it pretty square on. https://twitter.com/AdamMyerson/status/1005216169941504001?s=19 I def don't feel like I'm spreading the light but I will acknowledge that while I sometimes feel like a self centered asshole I do most everything for reasons not mine. Adam def correct, empaths are strange and if you're not one you won't ever get it. But still some of the more accurate reasons for declining like i said tend to be a variation of Embarrassment, Pride, Shame, Selfreliance. "I can do it, just not right now." Offers we get and we know are from the best places, too generous, can't be accepted. Often if we can't do it ourselves we're not deserving of accepting the help... maybe "we're" deserving, but being and feeling it are not the same and I usually don't think i'm deserving of it. This was one of the other threads, can't find the other one at the moment https://twitter.com/sheilakathleen/status/1005116845240848385?s=19
And these fogs and waves come and go. Some times far more intense and unexpected and once they settle little things that are normally dealt with are inconsequential, and then all the lingering deeper shit we normally can pack away or manage come to the surface. The feedback loop is really really fucked up. For some people. And then sometimes you have a couple weeks like I just did.
Yeah I admire those who say "just flip the switch" and can do it. I can't.
But I'm also to the point where I know enough that I can find the light and hang on and get through it.
myself.
The car thing is overhanging. Still haven't fixed the waterpump. I miss the days of close friends that it never felt like an imposition to see if people wanted to get together to fix the car. Was thinking about that this morning. That social side of self-reliance. I can fix it. But when. Then the pressures mount and the second job, the activities. The anxiety of today and getting everything done and people where they needed to be wound up sorting itself out.
Turned into: Not a problem. Once it did I was able to relax a little more, I spent the whole night thinking, not sleeping much, or just in a high functioning somewhat concious sleep space. I was going to head to the shop, but words were propagating in my head and i figured fuck it - I need to get them out, I'll get to work when I do. If i get home later and have to do grocery shopping before dinner? so be it. That or we wing it and I go shopping in the morning. Not going to worry about it.
For a change.
The van will get fixed and we'll be a one car family until it is. We'll get everything done, the oldest has planned her 18th birthday, a dinner out with her closest friends, considering I don't even remember mine I don't feel too bad, they are an adult and as long as they are having fun, and that group of kids has fun and is very supporting of each other. Yeah - no memory of my 18th but my 19th was a surprise party thrown by my GF and i didn't know it was a surprise or a party until everyone was there and were totally in a state of shock wondering why I wasn't cluing in on why everyone was there - it was awkward.
Bonus for waiting this long to ride in to work at the shop today is the bike path gets pretty empty even on the best days during the lunch 'hour' esp along the stretch from my house to the squantum place where I head north. Same when it is time to head home usually.
I still haven't called my dad. But then he hasn't called me either.
The dogs are here right next to me, both sleeping peacefully and I think would probably prefer that I just stay here and hang out with them all day and live the dog life of sleeping and being lazy.
I did wind up finally finishing book 7, Persepolis Rising. No resolution, guess we wait till book 8 to find out what happens.
Not sure I'm going to finish Children of Time by Adrian T. just can't seem to get into it, besides - i'm not a fan of giant super smart spiders.
Plenty to do besides read now that i've been able to finish that book.
Like get my ass out the door (lunch is already packed, just gotta put shoes on and helmet and head in.
I think i'll do that, get some bikes built, not stress on how fast I'm building them and just get it done, and do what I can do at a slower pace, a recovery pace.
heddwch
G
Thursday, June 07, 2018
Survived
Sort of. Kind of.
That weekend.
My mother was correct, I'm still struggling with some deep emotions about the weekend and the event and how to process it and it is a significant undercurrent that I really don't know what to do with or really where to find it inside. There's a knot of emotions, kind of a big one, one of the threads is my oldest kid's graduation. They are special, unique and I'm intensely proud of them. But also as familiar I feel a bit of a stranger in some respects. Then again I have a similar stranger relationship with my father. Sure, I know him, pretty well, but I don't know him. Not like my brother's do.
I started writing here to share Peter's story. Everyone's read it by now but I thought by going back to a time when we read something on the internet and shared it on our web logs, not twitter or Facebook.
https://cyclingtips.com/2018/06/lost-and-found-painful-memories-of-a-bike-tour-that-shaped-two-lives/
So yeah. I just finished reading that. It is pushing 5pm, the emails from while I was out of the office have almost all been replied to, unfortunately every one requires additional responses and I'm tired.
That weekend.
My mother was correct, I'm still struggling with some deep emotions about the weekend and the event and how to process it and it is a significant undercurrent that I really don't know what to do with or really where to find it inside. There's a knot of emotions, kind of a big one, one of the threads is my oldest kid's graduation. They are special, unique and I'm intensely proud of them. But also as familiar I feel a bit of a stranger in some respects. Then again I have a similar stranger relationship with my father. Sure, I know him, pretty well, but I don't know him. Not like my brother's do.
I started writing here to share Peter's story. Everyone's read it by now but I thought by going back to a time when we read something on the internet and shared it on our web logs, not twitter or Facebook.
https://cyclingtips.com/2018/06/lost-and-found-painful-memories-of-a-bike-tour-that-shaped-two-lives/
So yeah. I just finished reading that. It is pushing 5pm, the emails from while I was out of the office have almost all been replied to, unfortunately every one requires additional responses and I'm tired.
Saturday, June 02, 2018
Big weekend
So this weekend if a big one.
Felt the need to share this little anecdote. Ran through the social platforms. Don't want to have the wrong people see it, wanted to hit the audience that would get it.
Ahhh the old Dusty web log.
So I'm attaching two photos.
Not sure what order this platform will put them in. I'm doing dishes and don't see much of what the in laws bought at Shaw's. But we'll they need "their" stuff for breakfast. And yeah if not T2DM carrying and using a glucose meter is enough to paint picture.
Years and years. Discussions, evidence, anecdotes, science.
This is breakfast. The whole milk is for making ice cream, lattes, and Mac and cheese, and occasionally drinking.
At least I have a few minutes to cook dinner while everyone is out at the moment.
Frustrating but even more since this is here in my house now.
Oh well. Let's just keep everyone as happy and non confrontational as possible.
Back to making food for tonight and listening to Frank Turner radio on Pandora.
Heddwch,
G
G
(PS had to add photos with browser in desktop mode from the tablet - not the crappy app - but they are here..... )
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