don't worry

This played just before walking out the door to Smackdown 2.0.  A new route and same old people.

B-group was the smallest and that was okay. It looks like the A group splintered but hey, not my zoo, not my monkeys.

Was whistling that tune as the ride started, and occasionally through it.

Ride was better but my HR was about 10 beats lower at max efforts than last week. I slept a little better but still really tired. 

Less stress w/o teaching this week. Not sure it would have been more restful in the PacNW but I am taking the next couple days off.

will try and rest.

don't worry, be happy, but dig in to the lyrics - stay positive even in the face of troubles... aka

AMOR FATI MOTHERFUCKERS

and the Robin Williams being in there did drive a bit of a spike into my heart and got me sad thinking about how he chose to leave.

But then I suppose choosing how and when we're finished is not the worst thing, certainly is better than having someone else choose for you.

Such is life and death and this crazy existance.

be well

heddwch
G

Clawing back

 Wednesday was rough. One of my worst physically and mentally. Not painful just impossibly difficult. Managed to survive, made it home, even made a quick dinner. 

Slept but not all that well. but better and last night was better than that one

Deep rabbit hole about headsets and bikes and thinking about the Paramount and the possibility of taking a vacation that's just me to the desert southwest, ride the places around where my dad was, visit my step mother. But when? Is that even possible? How? Weird dreams anyway. Then them merged into another one with someone from the past and someone from the current and it was just weird. 

Also weird that I remember them. Tired of being wide awake at 5am and then falling back asleep before I can think about just getting out of bed only to then be groggy and sound asleep when my alarm goes off. 

I had sold two art prints. First in a long time. Need to get back at that. Or something like that.

Maybe I can work out a production/shipping deal with my printer. Deal with that when I have time. After my vacation.

Next week was going to be a vacation. was going to go to seattle. And of course I just checked for travel this coming week. Flights are all way cheaper than when I looked a while back. Damnit. oh well.

I'll get a vacation some day. 

Maybe.

But at least it feels a touch better and survivable today.

Still fucking crazy. Not sure what the hell the weekend will bring. 

Brought food for a post am commute snack, lunch and pre-ride afternoon snack. Ate everything at once at lunch (late). oops.

24HOGG fees go up on April 1st. Not a ton, have to decide if the increase is worth the uncertainty. But man do I like that event. The one race I'm pretty good at. Got thinking about the Domarski 6hr thing. Maybe/ have to see what the schedule is like. Stuff is weird lately.

It has been a rough week. It is Friday. Now what? not sure, but hopefully I still manage to fit in Dirt Church this weekend.

Who knows who with or where I'll be riding this weekend. maybe just back to the old haunt for a change...

Dunno.

Okay now I'm tired, slowed down enough that the intangible energy of purpose and immediate threat has dissipated and I'm sitting here kind of...  wiped the fuck out.

Shocking.

y'all be smart, don't be like gewilli, get some rest, have fun, don't work too hard

heddwch
G

burried

 and frustrated and overwhelmed

again

Flat out

 Hit the wall yesterday.

Couldn't figure out why. 

then

remembered...

time change

right

Blink

 another couple days, a week, what? blink and a month has passed, blink again and it will be April, next blink and it will be December.

what is happening, why is everything so piled on and crazy and busy and why can't the pace be manageable and chill and relaxed?

SQUIRREL

 sorry - been doing the whole film thing, scanning and posting and blah blah blah - IG is the place to be for most of it.

Found some old gems, developed a roll of film with a few frames from the 12 hours of Pando in '96 or '97 I took of my 2 man teammate. 

Also found the russian panoramic camera roll...

Throwback

Maybe have words to add more later.

We'll see.

Also def transitioning away from twitter - moving to Mastadon so if you are on that platform HMU you can probably guess what my username is there.

heddwch
G