life keeps moving

And everything seems to happen at once. 

Critical update service visit at work starting at 10, and I have a dozen or so accounts to back up before that, and fence people show up tomorrow, totally perfect. Take time off to be here? Nope. But hey they are pro's I don't need to be here the whole time. Just move the cars out from the front of the house - set them loose. I hope.

Was already planning on taking the ebike tomorrow - double reason to, faster, don't have to change shoes. Saves time. And lets my legs recover after today.

Second Singlespeed MTB ride. 50.8 or 51.8 gear inches for those of you that it means something to. There were a few places it was just too steep and I had to get off and run uphill. 18 miles of chasing the XC guys and their super light fancy bikes. I did set 8 new PRs and a pile of 2nd and 3rd place times on all the segments. It felt good to be in the woods, if felt good to just float and fly and dodge and work hard and suffer mightily on the hills. 

There was less surfing than Arcadia last week, more grinding, more technical stuff. But the stuff that wasn't extensively steep uphill wasn't a problem. And maybe it is drying out enough to run the light tires, thinking about maybe putting those on the light wheels, although I do REALLY like the knob profile and the grip of the XR4s. Trade off eh? Grip vs Weight. At least in this monster size tire.

I slept really poorly last night - good combo of things, I'm sure I'm not the only one... I hope things sort out, and yes, focus locally, make an impact on your direct sphere of influence. 

Tomorrow will be what it is, Things will sort out and I can only control what my reaction is. It is okay for plans to change, and it will work out. 

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch
G

words seem like a failure

The day's colors vibrant
No filter needed
Darkness all around
Hearts heavy with empathy
Minds overwhelmed with it all

Keep doing the little things.
Together we can ... pic.twitter.com/luWh1SRTUh

— GeWilli (@Ge_Willi) May 30, 2020

Wrote those words earlier - both in the IG and above SMs.  

I'm at a loss, and I can't even begin to understand, but the bit that I can, hurts, deeply. It isn't a depression it is a painful sadness, visceral. It hurts. Physically. I'm not equipped with the emotional tools to deal with this. I am grateful there are people who are. I'm sad that there are people so violently cruel, that wear a badge. 

I want to fix it all, I want to make it all better. 

I get a hold of myself, pull myself together and then like a fucking moron go back over to twitter and fuck...  start back at the beginning.

It was a slow start to the day, couldn't get out of my own way. 

Eventually made it to the shop, built the last non-drop bar, non-ebike bikes in boxes, put some cool drop bar bikes on the floor too. The process was helpful. I started slowly. Pausing to drink or eat, or listen, or just sit. Methodically though - brake, hub, limit screws, cable tension, headset, brake, hub, pedals, each task the same. But each time I started with something in a box and wound up with something someone could ride home. Specific, simple, productive. A task. I felt much better by the end of the day when I went home. 

But then not so much. 

Going to head out and go out for a MTB ride tomorrow...  find some strength riding the bike with one gear...

backspacing,

typing,

backspacing,

words can't capture everything i'm trying to say

not sure what can,

more than ever Amor Fati Motherfuckers

coming up on two years sober - the new normal - grateful that I am - can't imagine the cascade if I hadn't made the change when I did... the highs are still not there - the lows aren't as low though, and that is a blessing, esp right now. 

heddwch

G

new layout time

This new layout is not the change i was looking for. 

Seems odd. But I've had enough UI changes to know what to reference and connect the lines to what i used to use and all that.

I should write a lot more than i have been. But I've been a LOT busier than I have been.

Haven't found the time to sit down and write.

And right now I'm just typing in a way to wait for something that is taking way longer than it should but I can't do anything else until it is done. Or wait. Back up. I don't want to start something else or get back into the middle of a different think and then be even further behind and not really ahead because I missed getting this next piece started as soon as possible.

I haven't shifted gears sine Friday and I've ridden a bike every day except monday. Monday I spent the whole fucking day doing yard work and you can't tell. Well you can, there are three barrels full of stuff, a pile that needs to get put into barrels and the wood is split and stacked and there's a new corral for it. 

Things in my head to write: 
Single Speed Mt Biking is fucking AWESOME!

Legit - so much fun. I guess MTB is just fun, but SSMTB just feels right to me. Yeah there's some steep punchy shit that isn't rideable and that is when i wish the bike was 10 pounds lighter (carrying it). But honestly half the time on those steep things I can't ride it even with gears. 

new gravel tires are AWESOME! Got a set of Hutchinson Toureg tires. the 45s fit on the crockett. it is so cool - and they roll so well and the bike is like feeling so perfect riding around. geared just ride. honestly thinking about a greasey joes gravel century. Ride to the start of the GPS track and then ride home.

100 miles of unsupported gravel. I might need to figure out how to add one more bottle, or a frame bag... or not.

Fence might happen Friday - but probably not till next week when i have to be in two places at once. Of course.

There was something else too - maybe i'll remember when come back to this.

that other stuff is done - my five minutes of draining the brain swamp tank is over - barely made a dent.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch

G

so you like to read?

Read stuff that is well written, argued and cited?

Well you obviously didn't come here for that.

But you can go over and read Cosmo's essay about the Strava situation.

I don't really have much else to say. Added another cool image to the pile yesterday (nanoscape on IG or twitter or where-ever).

Today was odd. Still feeling odd, trying to identify the source just if for nothing else, to identify it and move on. If it isn't anything that can be done then it is much easier to move on. Doing quite a bit less second guessing myself lately.

That's been good. That leads to less brooding and darkness.

Add to that a big more disconnected feeling everywhere. I guess my lag time is really high. But could be bad if I don't fix it or reconcile it. I did look at the calendar, fucking memorial day weekend is THIS WEEKEND? WHAT? IT IS STILL MARCH!

Making dinner that isn't what everyone wants is common, making a dinner that some decline always kind of hurts a bit. Feels like failure although 75% is still a high success rate I suppose.

Gonna eat something, kind of wish one of the books on hold would come in, can't find anything else in the library I want to read.

Best eat, maybe just pick some random popular book and dive in. or something else.

Not much to say from out here in little Rhody. Might break out the Paramount in TT mode tomorrow or Friday. Gonna have to shave the fuzzy legs before that. They haven't been this hairy in over a decade - maybe longer.

Y'all be good.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

Heddwch
G

40 years ago

That little perfect mountain just south of Rainier blew up.

My memory is walking up the hill on the road and hearing and feeling something, an odd boom.

I can actually picture the moment, but also, who knows what tricks my memory is playing with me.

It makes sense though. We were pretty unsupervised growing up, house at the end of a quiet dead end road 20 mins from anywhere and an hour from everything else.

The odd bit was the kid walking out of the room they are cleaning and organizing and purging of stuff that isn't theirs. A long cigar shaped glass tube with a cork cap, full of grey ash. And a label... 

I kind of think maybe it was hiding up on the ledge/shelf thing, forgotten, left, not seen by the previous owners, only now discovered. Or it came from my dad's house in MD and in my drunken haze it is something i completely overlooked. But i can pretty clearly recall that whole trip and the stuff I brought back (it wasn't much).

But discovered a day before the 40th anniversary of it going boom.

And today I was bringing a few scopes back online. Lets see how it looks on the SEM and the LM. Posted over on the socials: https://www.instagram.com/nanoscape_/ and the twitter account: https://twitter.com/nanoscape it isn't ground breaking but i'm excited about it. And it is kind of falling flat, but I guess it isn't orange juice or waffles or whatever people find to respond to.

Posted the last couple of cool ones up to the IG.

Makes me kind of feel bummed out a bit by the lack of feedback but there's some, and that really is enough, right?

I guess something's missing. Dunno what. Oh well, hasn't stopped me before. Fuck it.

Rewind a bit - Saturday. Rode the big wheel MTB to the shop. Took a long time, but I hit the little short bit of single track on the way in. Fucked up the tricky up hill turn. But the crank had loosened up a bit fixed that, rear brake pads were basically as worn as could be w/o hitting the backing. Put new ones in. Cleaned it all the fuck up. Shiny, well as shiny as Matte Cobra Blood can get.

Rolled home, wearing shorts because it was warm out, flying through the single track, up over two technical piles of roots and heading down towards parking lot by Squantum Club and splash, "Huh I don't remember seeing any mud" then the smell hit me.
Shit

like human fecal matter in a sloppy greenish (no not animal - animal stuff smells very different and isn't in this large of a quantity). like some runner couldn't and went into the parking lot and then up this path a bit - squatted and left it. Or someone else did. I hope they wiped their ass with some of the emerging poison ivy.

So yeah it was now on my legs, my arm, and all over the bike and in the tires. Grabbed some non-poison Ivy grass and wiped it off my skin, further tried to wipe it off over by the puddle in the parking lot with the leafy weeds.

But hey at least the bike was clean and I could see exactly where it was, all over the place.

I HAD JUST CLEANED IT ALL. But since I had just cleaned it I could see it. SO I COULD CLEAN IT ALL OVER AGAIN. Got home, washed my hands and arms first, found that some had splattered on my shorts (of course). Stripped it all off and scrubbed my legs and arms again in the shower. By the time I was back out there to clean the bike it had hardened on the bike. Like fucking cement. It wasn't just washing off with a hose. FUUUUUCK - oh and it smelled BAD.

Got it all cleaned off, wiped it all down with a clorox wipe or three, scrubbed the tires, then made dinner.

Ate a bowl of muesli before bed because we were going to ride Hell's 1/2 Acre. the 33 mile loop. And we got it mostly right this time. And the Garmin totally fucked it all up again with the total. And the slow refresh but the GPS that Burke helped with actually worked better this time and the garmin made it possible to navigate it all. I think maybe I should just try the wahoo element roam...  Hey it is just money right? The garmin doesn't talk with the new devices either. Something's funky. The dropping mileage isn't really a big deal. I did the ride. Doesn't matter.

But man what a ride. It was good. The hills def wrecked me a bit - i was pretty slow on them, but the rippers and flowy and fast and down stuff? FUCKING FUN! HOLY SHIT! LOVE IT. Like I had so much fun in the woods. It was long, I didn't ride I see dead people as well as I should have, def didn't clear it like I did last time we rode it. Neither did anyone else. Clean it that is. Had a realization that pissed me off, should have tried to negotiate a signing bonus, or compensation. Oh well. Stache C frame would have been cool, or some line pro 40s. Gotta get those wheels sooner than later - will make a huge difference. Me chasing a Santa Cruz Blurr (25# with full water bottle) and a Trek Top Fuel 9.9 XTR (about the same). But it felt good. I had a fuckton of fun. I worked, I rode pretty hard, and had a really good day.

Def talking about the North South trail ride still. Maybe do this once more to see if we can keep from fucking it up again, even fewer backtracks maybe.

Tomorrow is complicated. Difficult juggling act with everything, but it'll all seem smooth to those on the outside. Like a duck.

Tired. Haven't been sleeping well. Have actually cut back on coffee, making progress in that area. Pretty happy about that.

Little things right?

Def digging the mountain biking. Got thinking, and remembering when that Stache was first introduced, the rigid, weird Plus tires, we sold one to a guy a little taller than I am, he raved about it, loved it. I really thought about getting one, but it was also at a point where I couldn't afford to do that, couldn't really even think about it. But Freddie kept bugging me about getting a MTB. A modern one. We didn't know each other when I made a good couple-four year attempt to ride the Klein in the woods around here, never really had fun on it like I am having fun on this. I guess a lot would have changed if I did that. Probably wouldn't have been on any smackdowns, would have been in the woods.

Maybe I should have bought that bike back then.

Okay I just fact checked myself out of that preposterous notion - the Stache in this iteration really didn't show up until 2016 - the Stache 5 was the bike I had my eye on. So yeah. Well at least I can stop thinking about that.

One day maybe I'll get one of those super light things, but for now, I'll keep being one of the only guys on a hardtail.

Fuck my brain is just starting to unfold like the proton in the 3 body problem. Expanding and the thoughts are trying to organize a bit - but this is a failure of delivery. Like the rest of today. I'm going to leave the rest of the thoughts trapped in here a bit longer. Maybe they'll go away, or make more sense later.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch
G

got a pile of

shit to unload in my brain - gotta double check and rewind but there was a crazy weekend

Saturday - oof that was shitty (if you follow me on the soon to be stripped bare strava - no i'm not going to premium on it - you'll get that reference)

Sunday spent it in hells 1/2 acre

found something really timely and cool (twitter) yesterday

took and posted one photo (so far) today on the Nanoscape (all the medias)

spend a whole day at work - actually doing work (while microscope was running mostly by itself)

Found this sound:

Hold On...

it is good...

was also thinking maybe I should get some
Amor Fati Motherfucker
stickers printed up...  seems appropriate no?

maybe not

keep on keeping on my friends, maybe I'll have time to fill in the blanks in long form tonight
heddwch
G

the length of time

takes a while to watch this...

just finished it...

really enjoyed it...

loved the black and white...

thought about riding bikes, thought about 35mm film, darkrooms, food, riding, just riding, hoping to see Canero pass, wishing i'd had a bike and a week or two to stay with my Dad when he was still there.

Wishing i'd found mountain biking again while he was still there.

Wishing he was still there, and not dealing with the atypical parkinsons.

thinking and wishing - there's some saying that goes along with that futility

but in the end,

that was time well spent.

maybe you'll enjoy it too.

heddwch
G

the darkroom

no not a dark room or a metaphor for something...

actual darkroom, the place where you processed film, printed and enlarged it...

I watched this waiting for a call back and some support things to sort out

And had a DM convo with JM about IR and that stuff, lead to looking again at conversions to monochrome...  i mean if i had $9k for the M10 "mono" and another $13k for the new Noctiulx lens fuck it - i'd have one already. Well as soon as the body is off backorder.

First thing about the interview is just the absolute privilege, but the message is really good, about the photography stuff. The seeing, the difference between color and black and white.

Really good stuff. Some of which I actually had already incorporated into the class. That said I think most of the generation of phone photographers is using portrait mode as default, they struggle to use landscape...

and that struggle is where we learn.

Ralph mentions about how the darkroom teaches you more because it reveals your mistakes, but only if you go out to try and correct them and practice do you learn.

I would dearly love to have a monochrome camera - a 50-75 maybe 85mm lens, nice 1.4 at least aperture.

It has me wondering - do all my photos look like everyone elses? or am i using the phone in a unique way that still presents the images as mine?

I think about photography endlessly. Partly it is very much wrapped up in my professional career, the other part is that along with bikes, black and white photography and taking photos is something I've been doing for forever.

Gotta get my basement darkroom set up I think. I can shoot rolls and rolls of film for not much money compared to the monochrome cameras. But I think, knowing what i know about scientific CMOS and how the sensors work and all that, that I get it when Ralph says he hasn't loaded a single roll of film since 2012 when he got his first Mono.

Rich old privileged white men do have the market cornered on the leica cameras. I'm tempted to share this one with my class but first feel a strong desire to find a POV from anyone else from the under-represented, a woman, a person of color, where are their videos and interviews and inspirational talks about photography? Perhaps this one works for that. Guess I should do some "research" or maybe there's some interviews with some of these 12

Time to pack up the place for the day.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch
G

happy hour

Give this a listen.

Or skip to Chris Thile and watch to the end.

Thank you Iworedettos for the link and posting about it. That made for a delightful musical evening (alone in front of the laptop while everyone else does their thing).

Today was like a normal day. A late start but normal, headwind, worked in the office, got most of what i needed to get done - tried to do a bit extra that failed but learned something in the process.

And amazingly had a tailwind on the way home. Path was a fucking zoo but i wore my face covering and just dealt with it.

I don't feel much like writing more than saying I want to be Chris Thile when I grow up.

He actually kind of looks like he's an older brother to one of the grad students here.

Could just be the tall dutch heritage or something (is he of dutch descent? even? I dunno).

No trainer miles today. Real road miles.

Not sure when things are going to happen for the TT - the virtual one. It is hillside. Fucking hillside. My fastest time is from 2013, I was 195 then... i'm not anymore.

But hey, we're in it for the consistency points. I may only get one point but if I get all the points I'll still be like 4th or 5th if that. It is motivating and I think about Jake Well's and the DK documentary and that's a good thing. Being motivated.

Y'all know i struggle with intrinsic motivation. Probably ate too much food tonight - but oh well - i'll eat less tomorrow - maybe.

Longer day tomorrow - tons of shit - back to normal, sort of (not really at all but i'm back in the big gig on site - alone and busy).

heddwch
G

Taking a vacation

wait what is that...  how does that work now in the WFH days?

can I? do I? how?

I feel like i have been sitting on the top of a boulder lately, not sure how I got here but it is sort of okay, there's plenty to do to stay up here.

yesterday? It started to move, slowly, but I can see pretty clearly that it is moving towards a bit of a sloping hill...  pretty foggy, dunno what's further ahead. All i can see is that it is going to take a fuckton more work to stay up here on top of the big rock as it picks up speed.

Hopefully it won't crash into a canyon wall while i'm on it, hopefully I won't trip and get ejected forward and squashed under it.

I got some shopping done yesterday - lots of work, fired off an email about the thing that was bugging me on thursday, had a phone call, made progress, still unsure if it is a good thing or not. But it is enough of a good thing that it is worth sticking around. More work, made dinner, rode bike again.

Super chill hour that flew by once again. Watched Norah Jones (she's so dreamy - yeah I have a huge crush on her - i can admit that about a celebrity right? or not - whatever), R. Cash, J Mellencamp, and an old hero, actor, songwriter, singer Kris Kristofferson. It was an awesome 50 min but not enough Norah. So I wrapped up the last 10 minutes watching some of Norah's at home concerts. I should link em...  or not.

I will link one song that got me all goosebumpy and misty eyed. It was supposedly Johnny Cash's favorite song.

I posted one link up on the twitter last night - I like the older live version better. Something about the fragility of his older voice is more emotional.

Music...  helps with the balance, the rhythm of the boulder. Riding the bike keeps me in shape and in one piece...

the rest?

Life goes on, gonna try and stay up here for a while. Keep on keeping on.

My try a bike commute today.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers
heddwch
G

now where was I

I guess start with the biggest albatross, the offer letter.

Okay that's out of the way now. Needs some work, is absolutely not in my wheelhouse and I'm trying to emotionally distance the initial reaction from the rational response and find a positive direction forward.

I'm confident, but there's a bit of the unknown.

Fortunately I read it all kitted up and ready to do some intervals. Junk ones, no point, no purpose. Who does 4x10 min ones at a moderate pace? They weren't easy but they were consistent.

That was what I was going for.

And the effort help clear the mind a bit.

Been interesting. Today was a good day but normal moment of loss, despair, sadness of unspecific nature.  Not sure totally what the trigger was. Gave up on the book and went back to music.

But with the crazy on the path (and the snow this morning) I bailed on the bike commute and drove.

So I got home tonight and the kids were making dumplings, by hand again. And I got on the bike. Planned only a quick 20 minute spin to flush out the body bits. I have noticed I feel much better this week than last when I wasn't riding much. And yeah, the trainer and the frankenbike are kind of working well.

Although Friday morning I went out early and did the TT segment. It went about as well as I expected. I think there was a bit of a headwind, but I put it all out there, could barely turn the pedal after, so I'm happy with both the effort and the motivation to get out there and do it. And yes - the trainer has more resistance than the road only based on PRE and effort.  Ate some food and headed into the shop, did my think, hit the store on the way home for the Shaw's run of specific stuff. They had more flour in, but we still have enough. Picked up some fresh stuff and some other stuff, cheese and requested snacks. Everyone was wearing masks. Most people we following the one-way. A few old people started into the aisle the wrong way, stopped, then looked down, back up at the four people in the aisle all facing them, and kept going into the aisle. And then there was the overweight white dude in wearing a baggy black sweatshirt and sand colored cargo pants and a Rump, Dense political mask. I mean hey props dude, no need to have any doubt that you are a racist d-bag, and I guess if you're going to wear a mask you feel like you need to proudly say it. I get it - you're threatened and those two old white dudes are all that you think is separating you from some hell you're imaging. I wonder how much more of that will start to pop up. I've already started to see the grams light up with sloganized masks. Pretty easy, it is a big [impact] fucking billboard. Or a small but very not subtle way to push your ideas into those who look at you.

I guess I am the guy now wearing AHTBM bandannas as a mask/face covering.

So anyway, tonight. Got home. Got on the trainer. only planned 20 minutes... turned into 50+ because of this:

I mean - Prine, Lovett, LaMontagne? Hell yeah, costello i can take or leave, never always his biggest fan but these other three?

When EC started interviewing RL, mind blown. Love this guy even more now. esp the comment about people at the end of the interview section.

I legit had no concept of time while watching this - the 50 minutes flew by.

Gonna go do a bit of mountain bicycling tomorrow morning, there's still pancake batter left from the batch I made this morning so everyone else can sleep in and have that in the morning. Not planning the 1/2 acre attempt today - pushing that off for another week. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

I'm gonna try and disconnect a bit tonight - not sure how successful i'll be. Everything else is ramping up, things are crazy, just as things are settling and stabilizing a new big upheaval is on the way.

Time to finish salad, maybe watch some more live performances. Okay found one. 

catch ya later,

heddwch
G

harmonies and in tune

so clean, tight harmonies, in tune fiddle playing, slide steel guitar...

sure it is a song about dying, but it still gives me goosebumps

Well that felt good

The morning ride.

Bookended sleep with pedaling.

I basically did the commute this morning, early. Might try and get a similar ride in before dinner this time today instead of after it. Also def think this ancient cyclops has much more resistance than riding on the road. Feels like strong headwind level effort for a given pace. But could just be riding in the basement.

Wound up following through with the day yesterday. Got back home, finished a few work things up, made dinner, ate, gave myself a little break (watched the new Rockward Files then headed downstairs.

Added a new cadence sensor to the rig (non-drive chainstay is crowded), and well now I have all the metrics (except power, except power).

I got 90 min in, did a little harder effort, relaxed, then did three low cadence highest gear standing efforts, 3 min long with some break in the middle of them, then cooled down took a shower and tried to sleep.

Read a little, resonance this passage in the book:

"It was impossible to expect a moral awakening from humankind itself, just like it was impossible to expect humans to lift off the earth by pulling up on their own hair. To achieve moral awakening required a force outside the human race." -CL

a virus is outside the human race eh? no?

The book is good - i'm still in the bit confused state but also temporal coincidence having just watched Soul of a Banquet with a similar personal retelling of the events.

Sleep was good - until one of the dogs decided it was time to groom themselves at 5:00 and the licking woke us up - and i had to kick the dogs out of the room, of course they them proceeded to tap dance on the tiles on the other side of the door. So I got up.

Made coffee.

Read a bit on the internets, started work, stopped work. Watched the red bull WFH with the trials guy

and headed back downstairs.

Shit - meeting time.

I love productive meetings, and often forget how things seem simple to one person but baffling to others.

My stash of face coverings arrived from Stevil, there are only 10 left. Probably gone by the time you read this. They are large - fit my head. I would suggest you get them, not just to get a couple pieces of quench gum and buy some stickers.

Also read his stuff, it is good - semi-regular even.

Speaking of new stuff - go check Renegade Cross - they are writing again, hopefully sticking with it. Good stuff.

Of course Seth is churning out content like he's getting paid to. And with the subscriber button he probably is. Maybe I should put a button on here. Subscriptions $1,000.00 and you get nothing more than the freeloading folks. Couple subscriptions and maybe I'll actually write better, or have another MTB to ride that needs more words to be written about it and mountain bicycling adventures alone.

Speaking of adventuring on the mountain bicycle - this Grimy Handshake had me laughing. But seriously, if MF shows at your MTB ride, and you don't know him - GTFO - go home use your knee pads for cleaning the kitchen floor. But really, seriously, look at the subtitle for that. And then the date.  Guessing the editors didn't plan on the apocalypse happening w/in a year. Knee pads? Seriously? Also here for the no glove thing. I can pretty much say we have more rocks. Sure we don't have any 500-1000 foot cliff faces we ride across and yeah we're generally not going all out because when it comes right down to it, it is pretty flat here. Still easy to fuck shit up and crash. Just different.

I like riding w/o gloves, across all disciplines. I've gone through phases of wearing the mechanics gloves, the motocross ones (actually those were the best, and cheapest - should look into them again - but that was also 20 years ago). These 100% branded winter gloves are okay, cheap, not that warm but warmer than nothing. And yeah, i ride MTB in my lycra. Haven't fully embraced the baggies, maybe because i've always been riding in em. But then again, riding my ebike has helped loosen the grip on me having to wear that shit on the bike all the time. Maybe I'll eventually get some baggies... maybe...

Down side to riding after dinner, and then this morning is I'm fucking hungry. I even ate a 3 egg omelet with taco stuff in it (beans and meat and cheese) at 9.

Salad for lunch. Meetings all afternoon, make dinner, ride bike, or ride bike then make dinner. I dunno. Addictive personality. Riding the fucking trainer is the new obsession? I guess there are worse things.

Thought process is that 24HOGG is probably not going to happen, but if it DOES happen I want to be there and want to be more prepared than not prepared. Three things. Gotta start riding it as the singlespeed, gotta get lighter wheels for the stache, and I need to start pedaling like it matters. AKA the re-attempt at Hells 1/2. Maybe a solo hundo out to Plymouth or something or a stupid long trainer session. If it doesn't happen being in shape for it is never a bad thing.

Alright: goal, stay distracted from hunger by working on prepping everything for my 3pm meeting before eating lunch. Hopefully the task is engaging enough to keep me distracted.

stay safe - be well go buy a bandana if there are any left - only 5 right now.

heddwch
G

YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS STAY SAFE BULLSHIT, i feel duped into saying it, i mean it but also know that the lot of y'all don't need the fucking reminder from me, or really FROM ANYONE BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC.

Weird times

Yesterday was long - I had planned to wake up, make coffee, drink one cup and get on the bike for cup #2 before starting the day.

Well I guess the easy way to say this is my work laptop has a 10 min screensaver/lock screen thing, I didn't have to log in and wake it back up from 7am when I turned it on until 6:45 when I started making dinner.

So after dinner, I pulled the speed sensor off the Stache and took off the cadence one on the Frankenbike and voila - SPEED ON THE TRAINER! But no cadence...  still wonder why it didn't work on the Stache, but oh well - fuck it, it is catching the time and that's what matters.

Was going to try again for this morning, but here I am - still working. Okay, today I'm actually taking a minute to myself.

Last night was good tho, 45 min, moderate effort in the middle, nothing crazy, got sweaty, took a shower, eventually fell asleep and slept well. That took a bit (the falling asleep part).

Nothing defined today, and that's set me into the whole indecision loop. Head to the shop, yeah, go in for a couple hours. Drive or ride? Nice day, bike path will probably be crazy, ride there or ride tonight on the trainer? And then Leland has the whole virtual Strava TT thing set up again, there's a new segment but it is a headwind today. Def gonna try poaching a tailwind for that. But not today. Maybe a good Friday morning activity (if the meetings stay clear). I think maybe I just jinxed it.

The ride on sunday kind of kicked my ass into motivating mode. With so much going on, so busy so crazy i lost track a bit of what needed to be done. So I think perhaps, yeah, gonna need to start a focused trainer regime to balance out the MTB rides and the social distance TTs.

Well shit - there went another hour of time, but it was work, during work hours. In spite of all the extra bike shop time I'm still over the clock time for regular job. I should probably take a vacation day or two this month.

Maybe after classes are over.

It is a really nice looking day outside. So much easier to just work and get everything done when I am in the basement at work. Come in in the morning, never see the sun until i leave. Never look up from the screen out the window at the blue sky.

I think i'm going to drive. The bike path is too much of a pain, too many people. And while I tend to agree the odds of getting sick from other people are pretty low, with weather as nice as it is today it is going to be a zoo on the way home, i'd rather not deal with that.

Besides - i have to re-pair my phone with the stupid car again, thanks factory reset. Total pain in the ass. And now the Garmin (after syncing on Sunday) won't sync with it.  Maybe i need a new gps computer thing before lighter wheels...

And I just went to check in on the Wahoo EP program, it is suspended. Hmmm, that sucks, big bummer, maybe that big fat failed bontrager branded 1030 (they are selling them just barely over cost to consumers direct) is the way to go.

Oh well - more to think about.

One more big email to finish up, two tasks to complete, then I can take a couple hour break, eat lunch, and get back home, catch up, make dinner and then ride the bike tonight - this is now motivation to serve dinner before 8pm.

stay safe

heddwch
G

The other night...

Probably Friday night...

i listened to this song, and really just listened, tuned everything else out. Headphones in, not writing, not reading, not flipping through IG.

just listened...

I think it was Friday. May 1st. Workers day.

Maybe.

Doesn't really matter - a crazy emotional response...  of course it came through the pandora station as I'm sitting here, after dinner.

Aching and sore after today's attempt at the Hell's 1/2 acre 33 mile MTB route. We got 17? or so miles into it before Fred was out of water. I was not alone. no. Fred and I both work at the shop, and we never were on top of each other and we were setting a marathon pace, not a race pace. Yeah. We were slow.

I put a rear wheel sensor on the Stache - hoped it would help with the mileage. It didn't. Still way under. Will tweak some settings, see if i can make it work, kind of had hoped it would work. It wasn't the garmin one but it was supposed to work and the head unit saw it and recognized it as a speed sensor.

2020 in miles 356, 343, 420, 184... and that 184 was very front loaded...2020 in hours 40, 36, 41, 20

And here we are a few days into May and me thinking I could handle a tough 33 mile MTB ride. My brain wrote a check my garmin couldn't read and my legs couldn't cash. Tons of backtracking. Syl's 520 wasn't any better than my 510. But I rode a ton of new trails, it felt good. I rode I See Dead People cleanly for the first time. wasn't the fastest but I hit all the A lines, we've ridden that a bunch - was awesome to do that. It isn't the hardest but it is up there. Of course I'm thinking it would be nice to have a bike as light as the other two knuckleheads. A nice Blur with XTR and a Top Fuel 9.9 XTR. But hey - we set out planning to ride one mile for each pound my bike weighs w/o bottles. Also, I can put two bottles on my bike, they were limited to one. Ultimately the deal breaker for the day. But I kind of cracked just as Fred ran out of water. The hill on the road with the XR4 tires was brutal. And yeah I got thinking, hmm XC bike... hmm... Trek has a few, not many, XXL ones. I think maybe my skills are catching up, probably could do just as well on a XC rig as I am on the mid-fat. But i still really enjoy that damn bike. Ordered a Singlespeed cog for it, thinking maybe that's a way to work on next level. And since we're not racing who cares how heavy the bike is - i just gotta work harder.

That's a good thing. For me. A bit frustrating for others. For now.

While we didn't finish what we set out to try, we spent a long time on the bike, had a fucking blast, and we're fucking ready to go try it again.

Gonna take me a while to recover tho. But that's not bad. I have the bike on the trainer in the basement - going to work on getting on it for an hour in the morning. Make coffee, and instead of sitting on my butt drinking it i'll go and pedal.

Another thing - super terrible night sleep two in a row (probably didn't help todays riding), and a light coffee day has me in difficulty keeping my eyes open.

Gonna pop some Vitamin D (ginger's ain't make it so good - need to supplement daily to meet that arbitrary "good" number) and get into bed. after dealing with a few things that can't be done sitting on my butt right here.

heddwch
G