I can look back and pretty much see my entire race history since returning to CX...
if the stuff from '96, 97, and 98 were on there maybe i'd feel better about where I am this year.
How few races, feeling less missing the racing, more missing the rest of it.
missing the prep, the competition, the lining up...
i dunno whatever, chalk it up to some weird GeWilli bullshit like G-ride and Solobreak do so well.
But, all that said - it seems different this year, esp going to a race, and not racing, but contributing, making more of a difference for someone else than I could ever make for myself. I say this at 11:15pm, planning a ride tomorrow, RI Red Rooster Ronde recon.... with more people. maybe...
i should sleep...
i'm awake,
and reading this should put foley to sleep as he says this does.
if
that is i can put any words down to make sense of what is in my head.
reaching out - attempting a connection... i guess back tot he mentoship thing i guess, i need to channel that frame of mind.
Give with no expectation of return, even if you just give someone a handful of words, don't expect a return.
new mindset is sad, but maybe what needs to happen to move forward.
people said stuff about that post on FB, i didn't expect any of it, didn't really want any of it, but was getting ribbed to the point that i figured if i let it out then it might diffuse the needling... except it went off like a FB bomb. Well as much of a bomb as can be expected when 1/7 of your friends comment or like it. or maybe higher number, i don't want to do math.
I'm not racing this weekend.
i fixed brake pads I hope, i ordered new 1x chainring bolts, and a freewheel tool to change BMX freewheels on the SSCX.
Brake pads were bad. massive contamination after MRC. Gross shit... hmm i was going to upload from the phone but seems phone hasn't uploaded since Aug 30th. So yeah that's kind of awesome, Not really.
re-reading what i wrote offline to individuals last night, tonight, i feel good about the words,
re-reading them this morning also the same btw... despite Mr Frenzy's hangover.
talking to chris m is a gut punch, his struggles, so visceral to me yet so absolutely foreign.
so much to do, deadlines and timelines, next week is f'd and then somehow have to find place to stay in NoHo...
minor detail but those details hang over me with more pressure and dread than the big picture items...
it is what it is...
i am who i am...
still kind of lost...
but is the recognition that i know i'm lost mean that i'm less lost than those who think they aren't?
probably not...
i got nothing else positive to say so i'll wrap it up i guess... try and get some sleep in prep for pedaling in the am and soccer dadding all afternoon.
heddwch
G
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Friday, October 28, 2016
so i kind of, in a moment of weakness
shared some crap on Instagram/facebook/twitter (middle one maybe not surprisingly has most traction)
Check instagram (link over on the left or something)
But some Oregon KNUCKLEHEAD... whom i'm deeply indebted to, asked if maybe I could scan the shit and post it on my non-existent blog.
Thanks for blowing my cover w/o even a happen ending Solobreak.
What do the pages of the magazine look like? Well they look way better than the stuff tossed up on the magazine's blog.
take a look, yes scans, using a Linux build laptop on an HP printer thing, because mostly f'windoze and the fruit people... Literal translation? I can't afford current tech so i make shit work.
Fine, Thom, here are the images:
Check instagram (link over on the left or something)
But some Oregon KNUCKLEHEAD... whom i'm deeply indebted to, asked if maybe I could scan the shit and post it on my non-existent blog.
Thanks for blowing my cover w/o even a happen ending Solobreak.
What do the pages of the magazine look like? Well they look way better than the stuff tossed up on the magazine's blog.
take a look, yes scans, using a Linux build laptop on an HP printer thing, because mostly f'windoze and the fruit people... Literal translation? I can't afford current tech so i make shit work.
Fine, Thom, here are the images:
so there ya go, in print, GeWilli and Nanoscape and me... YeS I KNOW NO ORANGE JUMPSUIT, hey, gotta hold something back for the next one, or something, right?
Thursday, October 27, 2016
oh the internets
got home, ride was awesome. NO one on the bike path.
got home in time to see the little one head off to soccer, got changed but then still never quite warmed up,
so instead of cleaning, and being tired and cold i poked around on the internet.
SUPER depressing about all the shit in Dakota about that fucking pipeline. I'm sorry, it is depressing, sad and infuriating.
Then i saw that GCD had posted a video i haven't seen in a couple years.
A vid that features Amy D... if not feature at least she's in it a lot. And the rest of the crew, Mani, Miller, Mo, Helen, Gabby...
Guerrieres from Petitesreines on Vimeo.
It is a good few minutes to waste.
of course how do you watch that one and not this:
4ème Manche de CDM cyclo-cross 2011/2012 from Petitesreines on Vimeo.
or any of his other stuff?
Weather is def proper cyclocross today. 43 and raining here. F'n sucks to do anything but race cross in. although the commute home wasn't so terrible.
Best get off my lazy tired butt and get stuff done.
heddwch
G
got home in time to see the little one head off to soccer, got changed but then still never quite warmed up,
so instead of cleaning, and being tired and cold i poked around on the internet.
SUPER depressing about all the shit in Dakota about that fucking pipeline. I'm sorry, it is depressing, sad and infuriating.
Then i saw that GCD had posted a video i haven't seen in a couple years.
A vid that features Amy D... if not feature at least she's in it a lot. And the rest of the crew, Mani, Miller, Mo, Helen, Gabby...
Guerrieres from Petitesreines on Vimeo.
It is a good few minutes to waste.
of course how do you watch that one and not this:
4ème Manche de CDM cyclo-cross 2011/2012 from Petitesreines on Vimeo.
or any of his other stuff?
Weather is def proper cyclocross today. 43 and raining here. F'n sucks to do anything but race cross in. although the commute home wasn't so terrible.
Best get off my lazy tired butt and get stuff done.
heddwch
G
Six down, Six to go
no not a typical saturday drinking beers when you start early.
no, NECX HOTM club...
Got October's in yesterday. Solo. Non-stop.
Looking at the weather it was kind of like the last day of decent weather when I had a full day mid-day w/o any obligations. One of those, shit get it done, kind of opportunities.
Plus side: it was sunny. Down side? It was cold and windy.
So i overdressed, except for my shoes. It worked out.
I packed one bottle of coffee, one bottle of water. Probably should have carried a third bottle with water. Half way through the last lap I started eye-balling houses, and garden hoses and wondering where i could get more water. I was also tired.
It started just fine, and due to the wind direction I wanted to take advantage of it on the longest straight stretches, so I wiggled up to Pine and Tremont via the flattest and most protected route I could find and then just hung out on Tremont until i got to Williams and then took that all the way in. I deliberately left the old fashioned bike computer thing displaying current speed and avg speed. Goal was to get this thing done in around 6 hrs. Yes I know. OMG it took you 6 hours to ride a century?
Have you actually ridden this bike? It is slow. Also it is vertically still and laterally still and long and i'm in CX position. AkA WAY UP IN THE AIR. Oh. And it is heavy, hmm maybe that's why it sucked at Fruitlands? BLAME THE BIKE! No. just kidding.
6 hr mark is just kind of that mystical magic number people throw out. Riding 6 hrs or more does great things, it fatigues most of the main muscles and requires you to recruit others and builds overall strength and neuro coordination.
Or something.
Usually my Hundo's involve a stop somewhere. Either to refill bottles, get coffee, talk to friends at turn around point, eat lunch. Something. This? This was pure non-stop pedaling.
I didn't have a clue how long the lap was, just hoped it was going to be close to 50 by the time i got back to Davis just north of 195/Rt 6. And it was. Downside, just a touch over 7 miles back to the house. Gonna be close (based on bike computer which was only programmed using a pre-set, not actually calibrated).
Got to Pond, ate my second omelet pocket (first one consumed just before leaving). And kept pedaling. Was a good handful of tenths over 17mph avg at the end of the first loop, but the wind picked up and that stretch back to Tremont was a struggle. Avg speed dropped down to about 16 or so over the next lap. Made it back home and only had a handful of tenths to go so I rode over to the beer store, picked up a six pack right at the 100 mile mark.
100 miles w/o getting off the bike for anything. A couple stops for traffic, stopsigns anthat stupid light on the bike path in Barrington. Moving time closest I've ever gotten it to total time for a ride that long.
I had some good mental thoughts, breakthroughs in a way. Thinking about mentorship and all that, trying to frame my head in a way that is positive, and allows progress and resolution. Still kind of really want full in person resolution, closure, but that's kind of out of my hands. More at peace with it now than have been for a while.
It was good.
the ride was fun actually. Loop was big enough that I didn't feel like i was riding the same stuff over and over again, familiar enough that I knew what was coming up (I know those f'n roads). and I surprised myself with the fact that I totally intuitively sorted it out w/o consulting a map and made a pretty damn decent and perfectly sized loop.
It was also pretty fatiguing. So much so that I decided to bail on CX trails this morning. Had a shit ton to do here.
Right now just sitting here looking ominously at the weather. This ride home is gonna be cold. I was a touch overdressed yesterday. A touch under today. Guess I am gonna have to go HAHD to generate enough heat not to totally get chilled. Dragging the trailer full of dog food (just one bag) will help with the going hard part, downside is it will increase the duration of the Hahdness.
This is what it looks like right now.
Yellow is moving to the east, aka it is gonna be f'n wet. At least it is over 40°F if only by a degree or two. And what little wind there is, is kind of maybe going to be a sort of a tailwind.
oh well. like Solobreak said... good loincloth weather... or something.
Must. Get. Ass. Moving.
BUT SO WARM IN OFFICE... and dry...
oh well... can't delay the inevitable. IceWorld's gonna kick my ass today. Yes, literally I just have thermal knickers, regular shoes, wool sock, gloves that are passably warm when dry.
Saving grace? Aquazero long sleeve jersey. Goddamn i hope that think lives up to the billing.
I'll find out very soon.
Heddwch
G
no, NECX HOTM club...
Got October's in yesterday. Solo. Non-stop.
Looking at the weather it was kind of like the last day of decent weather when I had a full day mid-day w/o any obligations. One of those, shit get it done, kind of opportunities.
Plus side: it was sunny. Down side? It was cold and windy.
So i overdressed, except for my shoes. It worked out.
I packed one bottle of coffee, one bottle of water. Probably should have carried a third bottle with water. Half way through the last lap I started eye-balling houses, and garden hoses and wondering where i could get more water. I was also tired.
It started just fine, and due to the wind direction I wanted to take advantage of it on the longest straight stretches, so I wiggled up to Pine and Tremont via the flattest and most protected route I could find and then just hung out on Tremont until i got to Williams and then took that all the way in. I deliberately left the old fashioned bike computer thing displaying current speed and avg speed. Goal was to get this thing done in around 6 hrs. Yes I know. OMG it took you 6 hours to ride a century?
Have you actually ridden this bike? It is slow. Also it is vertically still and laterally still and long and i'm in CX position. AkA WAY UP IN THE AIR. Oh. And it is heavy, hmm maybe that's why it sucked at Fruitlands? BLAME THE BIKE! No. just kidding.
6 hr mark is just kind of that mystical magic number people throw out. Riding 6 hrs or more does great things, it fatigues most of the main muscles and requires you to recruit others and builds overall strength and neuro coordination.
Or something.
Usually my Hundo's involve a stop somewhere. Either to refill bottles, get coffee, talk to friends at turn around point, eat lunch. Something. This? This was pure non-stop pedaling.
I didn't have a clue how long the lap was, just hoped it was going to be close to 50 by the time i got back to Davis just north of 195/Rt 6. And it was. Downside, just a touch over 7 miles back to the house. Gonna be close (based on bike computer which was only programmed using a pre-set, not actually calibrated).
Got to Pond, ate my second omelet pocket (first one consumed just before leaving). And kept pedaling. Was a good handful of tenths over 17mph avg at the end of the first loop, but the wind picked up and that stretch back to Tremont was a struggle. Avg speed dropped down to about 16 or so over the next lap. Made it back home and only had a handful of tenths to go so I rode over to the beer store, picked up a six pack right at the 100 mile mark.
100 miles w/o getting off the bike for anything. A couple stops for traffic, stopsigns anthat stupid light on the bike path in Barrington. Moving time closest I've ever gotten it to total time for a ride that long.
I had some good mental thoughts, breakthroughs in a way. Thinking about mentorship and all that, trying to frame my head in a way that is positive, and allows progress and resolution. Still kind of really want full in person resolution, closure, but that's kind of out of my hands. More at peace with it now than have been for a while.
It was good.
the ride was fun actually. Loop was big enough that I didn't feel like i was riding the same stuff over and over again, familiar enough that I knew what was coming up (I know those f'n roads). and I surprised myself with the fact that I totally intuitively sorted it out w/o consulting a map and made a pretty damn decent and perfectly sized loop.
It was also pretty fatiguing. So much so that I decided to bail on CX trails this morning. Had a shit ton to do here.
Right now just sitting here looking ominously at the weather. This ride home is gonna be cold. I was a touch overdressed yesterday. A touch under today. Guess I am gonna have to go HAHD to generate enough heat not to totally get chilled. Dragging the trailer full of dog food (just one bag) will help with the going hard part, downside is it will increase the duration of the Hahdness.
This is what it looks like right now.
Yellow is moving to the east, aka it is gonna be f'n wet. At least it is over 40°F if only by a degree or two. And what little wind there is, is kind of maybe going to be a sort of a tailwind.
oh well. like Solobreak said... good loincloth weather... or something.
Must. Get. Ass. Moving.
BUT SO WARM IN OFFICE... and dry...
oh well... can't delay the inevitable. IceWorld's gonna kick my ass today. Yes, literally I just have thermal knickers, regular shoes, wool sock, gloves that are passably warm when dry.
Saving grace? Aquazero long sleeve jersey. Goddamn i hope that think lives up to the billing.
I'll find out very soon.
Heddwch
G
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Fruitlands' Cup of Cyclocross
alternate race title:
the cyclocross course least suited to what little ability I have. (arguably even less than Asheville and we all know how that turned out)
the cyclocross course least suited to what little ability I have. (arguably even less than Asheville and we all know how that turned out)
Thursday, October 20, 2016
more politics
we need a politician to do a politician's job. Would you hire a plumber to do electrical work? Esp a plumber who's never touched anything with wires? Similar. Electricians are super evil. But like lawyers you'd be supremely in trouble if you needed one and you decided that a plumber could do the job of an electrician, or a lawyer could do the job of a brain surgeon. Choose the one who can do the job, they may be not great but i'd rather have a horrible person who's the best electrician in the world wire my house than the nicest plumber and have it all burn down a week after they get paid.
I really shouldn't say anything but this is something that raising daughters, in a school run by the Sisters of Mercy and with their teaching, something where I can't find any common ground with a bully, a bigot, a racist and a really bad plumber esp since we're looking to do Electrical work.
It is a challenge, a challenge that runs deep. Decide where you want to go. decide who you want to hire for the job. Life's tough. We'll see what happens.
--
i'd go into the bit about predicting that a certain US CX racer would adapt better than anyone to racing in europe given her prior experience....
but talking about politics seems less controversial.
I really shouldn't say anything but this is something that raising daughters, in a school run by the Sisters of Mercy and with their teaching, something where I can't find any common ground with a bully, a bigot, a racist and a really bad plumber esp since we're looking to do Electrical work.
It is a challenge, a challenge that runs deep. Decide where you want to go. decide who you want to hire for the job. Life's tough. We'll see what happens.
--
i'd go into the bit about predicting that a certain US CX racer would adapt better than anyone to racing in europe given her prior experience....
but talking about politics seems less controversial.
Shredding the gnar with the fast kids
Once I got my ass going this morning I headed out on the big orange SSCX bike.
But I wasn't sure if i missed it by 6 minutes or 1 minute. I guessed the former since I booked it over to the second start location and they were gone. Saw tracks going into the first loop. Not really on the way out though so I figured I'd head in and see if there's a decent shot to take while waiting. But there were defined tracks through the leaves, damnit. Did they make it through already? Maybe only two of them?
So I headed in and started my own loop. Made it up through one section, dropped into another, looped back around in the big sand bowl and paused to contemplate what line to take. And there watching me from the other side of the bowl was the largest Coyote I've ever seen. Dude looked like WOLF. Well not them super huge wolves but this wasn't a wee little skinny runt of 'Yote. He had the wild confidence and calm presence of a killer. We stared at eachother for a minute, maybe only 10 seconds but it was FUCKING SO COOL. And then he turned and jogged off into the trees.
IT WAS SO COOL.
All because I was exploring on my own. I kept riding, headed over to the braap loop and did one moderately fast, did another a bit faster, started to feel good, add some more pressure to the pedals, engage the lungs, ride the berms hit the lines, edge of traction in a few turns. Kind of dialing in and doing work. Took a second different loop to change it up and then hey there they were. A LOT OF THEM. I thought maybe there were only Colby and Googly but no there was a great pile of fast kids and kids with skills and me, the old man. Garber maybe can be called an old man, so i wasn't that alone, Ginger Dave claims to be an old man but he's not even old enough to race masters. Gingers are just old and grumpy way earlier than most.
So we shredded. SSCX is great riding with them 'cause I have to drill it and get the cadence up to hang and then work the torque on the hills. It is kind of fucking perfect. Love it. So. Much. Fun.
We got lost a few times, Ginger Dave and I turned around to go collect his lost Multi-tool (bunny hopping is a good way to eject shit out of your pockets, who knew).
As we turned around I saw a handful of these guys. All orange.
First thought "what does this mean? hardest ever winter or mildest ever winter?" Couldn't remember. So i tossed it up on the instagram. Of course then I thought about the cheetoshitgibbon and damnit almost political. BUT it wasn't intended to be so.
Replies came in, narrow orange band (mostly black) means a hard winter, wide orange band means a mild winter. And MMinSC suggested all orange means winter is cancelled and we're just gonna keep having summer. Or something like that.
Erin came up with the best quote on FB: "It's a woolly Gewilli! I thought that only happened in winter."
And yes, we did find his little multi-tool, and had a great finish to the ride.
And my legs felt pretty damn good. Responded to the effort favorably. Not sure what that means for Saturday but we'll see.
Also I found my torx wrenches that seemed to be MIA all weekend (I needed them for the Garneau bikes) they were at work. Being a mechanic here and there and everywhere means tools sometimes migrate. But hey it made it a lot easier to tweak the BB7s on the SSCX. Hopefully they work better on the ride home.
And of course I didn't think to plug my phone in until about 4pm. So I'm waiting for enough charge to record the ride home.
And this song came on. The DkMs don't do the best version, not quite perfect.
But it is good. And it is the best song. and worth listening to and singing along with again.
maybe there's enough juice on the phone to make it home now.
be well...
Heddwch,
G
Time for thursday morning PT.
Brought my stuff. Dropped it off at work. On schedule to get there in time, or if not only a minute or two late.
BUT. Well. I had to stop and take a picture of this:
And yeah that made me miss the start.Um... brand new two block long bike lane. Adding to the car parked on it: while taking photo three cars drove in parking lane. pic.twitter.com/27QKQEnaNS— GeWilli (@Ge_Willi) October 20, 2016
But I wasn't sure if i missed it by 6 minutes or 1 minute. I guessed the former since I booked it over to the second start location and they were gone. Saw tracks going into the first loop. Not really on the way out though so I figured I'd head in and see if there's a decent shot to take while waiting. But there were defined tracks through the leaves, damnit. Did they make it through already? Maybe only two of them?
So I headed in and started my own loop. Made it up through one section, dropped into another, looped back around in the big sand bowl and paused to contemplate what line to take. And there watching me from the other side of the bowl was the largest Coyote I've ever seen. Dude looked like WOLF. Well not them super huge wolves but this wasn't a wee little skinny runt of 'Yote. He had the wild confidence and calm presence of a killer. We stared at eachother for a minute, maybe only 10 seconds but it was FUCKING SO COOL. And then he turned and jogged off into the trees.
IT WAS SO COOL.
All because I was exploring on my own. I kept riding, headed over to the braap loop and did one moderately fast, did another a bit faster, started to feel good, add some more pressure to the pedals, engage the lungs, ride the berms hit the lines, edge of traction in a few turns. Kind of dialing in and doing work. Took a second different loop to change it up and then hey there they were. A LOT OF THEM. I thought maybe there were only Colby and Googly but no there was a great pile of fast kids and kids with skills and me, the old man. Garber maybe can be called an old man, so i wasn't that alone, Ginger Dave claims to be an old man but he's not even old enough to race masters. Gingers are just old and grumpy way earlier than most.
So we shredded. SSCX is great riding with them 'cause I have to drill it and get the cadence up to hang and then work the torque on the hills. It is kind of fucking perfect. Love it. So. Much. Fun.
We got lost a few times, Ginger Dave and I turned around to go collect his lost Multi-tool (bunny hopping is a good way to eject shit out of your pockets, who knew).
As we turned around I saw a handful of these guys. All orange.
First thought "what does this mean? hardest ever winter or mildest ever winter?" Couldn't remember. So i tossed it up on the instagram. Of course then I thought about the cheetoshitgibbon and damnit almost political. BUT it wasn't intended to be so.
Replies came in, narrow orange band (mostly black) means a hard winter, wide orange band means a mild winter. And MMinSC suggested all orange means winter is cancelled and we're just gonna keep having summer. Or something like that.
Erin came up with the best quote on FB: "It's a woolly Gewilli! I thought that only happened in winter."
And yes, we did find his little multi-tool, and had a great finish to the ride.
And my legs felt pretty damn good. Responded to the effort favorably. Not sure what that means for Saturday but we'll see.
Also I found my torx wrenches that seemed to be MIA all weekend (I needed them for the Garneau bikes) they were at work. Being a mechanic here and there and everywhere means tools sometimes migrate. But hey it made it a lot easier to tweak the BB7s on the SSCX. Hopefully they work better on the ride home.
And of course I didn't think to plug my phone in until about 4pm. So I'm waiting for enough charge to record the ride home.
And this song came on. The DkMs don't do the best version, not quite perfect.
But it is good. And it is the best song. and worth listening to and singing along with again.
maybe there's enough juice on the phone to make it home now.
be well...
Heddwch,
G
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
don't read it
that last post... just watch this film I put there and be happy and shit
Curmudgeons from Jersey 2nd Avenue on Vimeo.
Curmudgeons from Jersey 2nd Avenue on Vimeo.
fucking politics
I should have gone to the races tonight. But dishes and food and life had to happen at home.
A colleague at work said "just take a day for yourself" I'd love to but then how do i explain taking last weekend completely focused on racing? Granted, when E goes out for a marathon between a week before and a week after? shit's so unsettled and strange. We're a week or two out from Marine Corps marathon BTW. But i have a big weekend and have to be on point every moment. Do i manage it? probably not. Do I try? yup. But taking a day for myself, mid-week? It was pointed out i do that too, usually it means riding my bike all day. I'm okay with that, but that's not as restful and low stress as sitting in bed sleeping, watching movies and just turning the brain off and relaxing.
I'm not going to watch the debates tonight. Nope, nope nope nope.
I suggest watching this instead.
Curmudgeons from Jersey 2nd Avenue on Vimeo.
It is good, very good.
Not as long as the debate will go, probably barely register on the timeline, also watch out for the language, not that anyone here reading this has a fucking problem with motherfucking shitty language.
But it is a message about love. And falling in love. Life. Fucking motherfucker.
recognition? it was a topic of the weekend at one point. If someone didn't introduce and connect someone, who cares, someone else would have if it was destiny, right? Would have happened anyway. Probably. No big deal. Whatever. Except it wasn't someone else, it wasn't anyone and it did happen due to very specific and direct influence and the success of the individual is absolutely not surprising in the least, duh, i'm a fucking no talent hack on the bike but i somehow can recognize outliers in the field when I see them. I'll figure it out someday.
That kid's story about nailing stuff into the wall, then pulling nails out then being shown the holes in the fence... That.
It is strange, that short movie seems almost more relevant than anything to be honest, on so many levels.
Tonight on the ride home I was struggling to hang with the department prof with his new fancy bike, i had backpack with groceries in it and was riding the under inflated slow super worn drive train black blue, and suddenly a tiny kid runs out in front of me.
The rear tire skid i left will be on the path for a while. I moved left as much as I could without landing on top of her, I slowed as fast as I could without endo'n on top of her, in the end, if she'd have kept going in the direction she was running it would have been fine, but prof dude and I were riding side by side and well she could have kept going straight and nothing would have happened but she didn't. She turned back into me.... but I was almost completely stopped, but not quite. and she made contact. and i havn't been the same since.
It took me an hour before the adrenaline, cortisol and stress dissipated. she was lucky, i had decent instincts, i was and am still horribly shaken, her parents there on the scene were calm and collected and graciously apologetic and i was shaking too much to pedal... out of nowwhere. screened by a double stroller and her parents, dashing across to her brother on the other side of the path. right in front of me. Disc brakes help? not considering i was as close to locking the front wheel up as possible without endo'ing on top of her, rear was skid. couple thousand miles lost in that length of tire. It was horrible and it sucks. Revisiting past collisions.
PTSD.
much like the lack of acknowledgement... PTSD... triggers, no need for warning, there never is warning.
people w/o it? don't get it. I'm fortunate not to have gotten mine from overseas in the war... doesn't change the impact, just the context.
But i'm working to try and deal with it.
Riding bikes helps.
Need to do more of it.
which is strange in that i'm almost not quite recovered from the weekend and the week leading up to it.
At least it looks like i'm only racing once this weekend....
I'm sad, broken, i'm confused as to what muscle in my but/hip/back is fucking with me, but then I realize how much this shit hurts when I touch it and how little pain actually registers anymore. my D.O. may be right, i have an insane pain threshold that would cripple anyone else. Well that kind of makes sense, physically and emotionally.
Carry on tho. carry on.
Looking forward to Saturday. Even if the course is the antithesis of GeWilli friendly. Still looking forward to it.
heddwch,
g
A colleague at work said "just take a day for yourself" I'd love to but then how do i explain taking last weekend completely focused on racing? Granted, when E goes out for a marathon between a week before and a week after? shit's so unsettled and strange. We're a week or two out from Marine Corps marathon BTW. But i have a big weekend and have to be on point every moment. Do i manage it? probably not. Do I try? yup. But taking a day for myself, mid-week? It was pointed out i do that too, usually it means riding my bike all day. I'm okay with that, but that's not as restful and low stress as sitting in bed sleeping, watching movies and just turning the brain off and relaxing.
I'm not going to watch the debates tonight. Nope, nope nope nope.
I suggest watching this instead.
Curmudgeons from Jersey 2nd Avenue on Vimeo.
It is good, very good.
Not as long as the debate will go, probably barely register on the timeline, also watch out for the language, not that anyone here reading this has a fucking problem with motherfucking shitty language.
But it is a message about love. And falling in love. Life. Fucking motherfucker.
recognition? it was a topic of the weekend at one point. If someone didn't introduce and connect someone, who cares, someone else would have if it was destiny, right? Would have happened anyway. Probably. No big deal. Whatever. Except it wasn't someone else, it wasn't anyone and it did happen due to very specific and direct influence and the success of the individual is absolutely not surprising in the least, duh, i'm a fucking no talent hack on the bike but i somehow can recognize outliers in the field when I see them. I'll figure it out someday.
That kid's story about nailing stuff into the wall, then pulling nails out then being shown the holes in the fence... That.
It is strange, that short movie seems almost more relevant than anything to be honest, on so many levels.
Tonight on the ride home I was struggling to hang with the department prof with his new fancy bike, i had backpack with groceries in it and was riding the under inflated slow super worn drive train black blue, and suddenly a tiny kid runs out in front of me.
The rear tire skid i left will be on the path for a while. I moved left as much as I could without landing on top of her, I slowed as fast as I could without endo'n on top of her, in the end, if she'd have kept going in the direction she was running it would have been fine, but prof dude and I were riding side by side and well she could have kept going straight and nothing would have happened but she didn't. She turned back into me.... but I was almost completely stopped, but not quite. and she made contact. and i havn't been the same since.
It took me an hour before the adrenaline, cortisol and stress dissipated. she was lucky, i had decent instincts, i was and am still horribly shaken, her parents there on the scene were calm and collected and graciously apologetic and i was shaking too much to pedal... out of nowwhere. screened by a double stroller and her parents, dashing across to her brother on the other side of the path. right in front of me. Disc brakes help? not considering i was as close to locking the front wheel up as possible without endo'ing on top of her, rear was skid. couple thousand miles lost in that length of tire. It was horrible and it sucks. Revisiting past collisions.
PTSD.
much like the lack of acknowledgement... PTSD... triggers, no need for warning, there never is warning.
people w/o it? don't get it. I'm fortunate not to have gotten mine from overseas in the war... doesn't change the impact, just the context.
But i'm working to try and deal with it.
Riding bikes helps.
Need to do more of it.
which is strange in that i'm almost not quite recovered from the weekend and the week leading up to it.
At least it looks like i'm only racing once this weekend....
I'm sad, broken, i'm confused as to what muscle in my but/hip/back is fucking with me, but then I realize how much this shit hurts when I touch it and how little pain actually registers anymore. my D.O. may be right, i have an insane pain threshold that would cripple anyone else. Well that kind of makes sense, physically and emotionally.
Carry on tho. carry on.
Looking forward to Saturday. Even if the course is the antithesis of GeWilli friendly. Still looking forward to it.
heddwch,
g
Monday, October 17, 2016
G-ster Day 2 ... 2016 edition
I just took a peak back at last year's results.... consistent. And not bad. But I had a couple weeks of racing going into that. Not just racing but doing double days. A double at Quad, a Double at Riverpoint and then the triple at Midnight Ride. I also worked the pits for the same crew so both days were long days. Although I think maybe not having a club row spot and not having to set up the tent and get there early was a bit less stressful perhaps? Also I've slept like shit for the last week or so and have been super tired, but still waking up early or just not sleeping.
Kid also had a bad sport day, didn't play much at all, only went in the game to touch the field basically for about 30 seconds. But she's got more games ahead of her still. As I hopefully have more races to do.
This year's goal going into G-ster on little racing fitness was simply to finish on the lead lap and have fun. I had a great day yesterday. Did I have fun? It was painful. I couldn't find the rhythm on the course yesterday and my back was killing me the whole race, sucking power. Lower back, lower right side at the top of my butt specifically. I finished and even w/o a sprint I was completely and totally dead. But not last. And not lapped. But i basically couldn't move for a bit. Quite literally.
Kid also had a bad sport day, didn't play much at all, only went in the game to touch the field basically for about 30 seconds. But she's got more games ahead of her still. As I hopefully have more races to do.
This year's goal going into G-ster on little racing fitness was simply to finish on the lead lap and have fun. I had a great day yesterday. Did I have fun? It was painful. I couldn't find the rhythm on the course yesterday and my back was killing me the whole race, sucking power. Lower back, lower right side at the top of my butt specifically. I finished and even w/o a sprint I was completely and totally dead. But not last. And not lapped. But i basically couldn't move for a bit. Quite literally.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
G-ster day one
Holy crap i'm physically wrecked. Everything hurts, it is tough to move. Less pain and most just can't move so well.
It is a struggle to find muscle strength and coordination to unpin my skinsuit so i can wash it tonight.
The 63 mile opener ride with Goldberg yesterday must have worked. it was so fun, so good. I had a very conservative (translate = slow) start, but saved lots of matches and was able to light them until the final climb up the hill when i torched the whole book blowing past a fading Tim Young who tried to sprint but kind of got gassed and then passed by another one of us middle age race cat dudes. Also happy that this year only the first three 55+ guys passed me and two were on the final lap. So, not so bad. I didn't blow up (slower middle lap but last two were as fast as 2nd and 3rd (we did 6). I had plenty of power for the brief climbs and generally rode around thinking GODDAMN I LOVE A TOM STEVENS COURSE. SO PERFECT. Which probably means I wasn't going as fast as I could mostly it meant i found that magical rhythm. Blast yourself to bits, recover in the turns and use as little brake as possible and blast yourself again. Racing with friends was awesome. I feel bad that Carl decided to collected a mile of course tape in his rear wheel but secretly delighted in the fact that I beat him today. I spent time in the Paul Boudreau zone, so many cheers for him, but they faded a bit.
I had fun racing. I probably should have warmed up more but I also slept for absolute shit last night. Not too late to bed but awake at 2:30 and dozed back to sleep at 3 but then awake again from 3:30-4 and at that point i was thinking just get up, it is only an hour, but I kind of forced myself to stay there in bed until the alarm went off, so i added a few more minutes of sleep but i was there and was TIRED today. But legs decided they were here to play and i beat the race predictor by 8 places, saw tons of friends, raced with more of them.
It was good.
Also worked for Natasha, Derek and Michael. Also fun. Cut into the socializing and cut out the drinking, okay i did have a Tall boy post race, and i had a couple of Kurt Maw's session beers, but 12oz session beers don't count.
Traffic was FUCKED from about halfway to 95 and then until 93. Car is almost out of gas but at home and I am tired. Was painful getting out of the car when I got home. Arms hurt, legs hurt, hands hurt, back REALLY hurts. That was a proper CX beat down.
Oh and 30 min into a 60 min race when you're pitting for two guys nearly a half a lap apart is the WORST time to have to pee really badly. Did the dance for the last half of the men's race. But survived.
Tomorrow is the same thing one more time. I should have probably ridden way more today? I did cool down for 20 min on the trainer. Pedal'd out the kuck, but then stood around on the legs until 5:30-6pm.
5am alarm, gonna see if i can get my leaving down to less than I did this morning. But tent's already set up so i have a wee bit more buffer today. Other end of the day's gonna suck more though. BECAUSE BREAK DOWN.
Oh well. maybe the drive won't be so sucky (yeah right).
I'm okay with being as fast as I am if i can race like I did today.
I may not quite crack the top half ever, but there's some great racing going on where I am with some really great dudes, and really, what more could i ask for? Not like I'm gonna stop drinking beer, and ignore all the responsibilities that don't pertain to me living like an athlete. Still it was good, it was fun, and tomorrow's another day.
Holy fuck i'm tired....
heddwch
G
It is a struggle to find muscle strength and coordination to unpin my skinsuit so i can wash it tonight.
The 63 mile opener ride with Goldberg yesterday must have worked. it was so fun, so good. I had a very conservative (translate = slow) start, but saved lots of matches and was able to light them until the final climb up the hill when i torched the whole book blowing past a fading Tim Young who tried to sprint but kind of got gassed and then passed by another one of us middle age race cat dudes. Also happy that this year only the first three 55+ guys passed me and two were on the final lap. So, not so bad. I didn't blow up (slower middle lap but last two were as fast as 2nd and 3rd (we did 6). I had plenty of power for the brief climbs and generally rode around thinking GODDAMN I LOVE A TOM STEVENS COURSE. SO PERFECT. Which probably means I wasn't going as fast as I could mostly it meant i found that magical rhythm. Blast yourself to bits, recover in the turns and use as little brake as possible and blast yourself again. Racing with friends was awesome. I feel bad that Carl decided to collected a mile of course tape in his rear wheel but secretly delighted in the fact that I beat him today. I spent time in the Paul Boudreau zone, so many cheers for him, but they faded a bit.
I had fun racing. I probably should have warmed up more but I also slept for absolute shit last night. Not too late to bed but awake at 2:30 and dozed back to sleep at 3 but then awake again from 3:30-4 and at that point i was thinking just get up, it is only an hour, but I kind of forced myself to stay there in bed until the alarm went off, so i added a few more minutes of sleep but i was there and was TIRED today. But legs decided they were here to play and i beat the race predictor by 8 places, saw tons of friends, raced with more of them.
It was good.
Also worked for Natasha, Derek and Michael. Also fun. Cut into the socializing and cut out the drinking, okay i did have a Tall boy post race, and i had a couple of Kurt Maw's session beers, but 12oz session beers don't count.
Traffic was FUCKED from about halfway to 95 and then until 93. Car is almost out of gas but at home and I am tired. Was painful getting out of the car when I got home. Arms hurt, legs hurt, hands hurt, back REALLY hurts. That was a proper CX beat down.
Oh and 30 min into a 60 min race when you're pitting for two guys nearly a half a lap apart is the WORST time to have to pee really badly. Did the dance for the last half of the men's race. But survived.
Tomorrow is the same thing one more time. I should have probably ridden way more today? I did cool down for 20 min on the trainer. Pedal'd out the kuck, but then stood around on the legs until 5:30-6pm.
5am alarm, gonna see if i can get my leaving down to less than I did this morning. But tent's already set up so i have a wee bit more buffer today. Other end of the day's gonna suck more though. BECAUSE BREAK DOWN.
Oh well. maybe the drive won't be so sucky (yeah right).
I'm okay with being as fast as I am if i can race like I did today.
I may not quite crack the top half ever, but there's some great racing going on where I am with some really great dudes, and really, what more could i ask for? Not like I'm gonna stop drinking beer, and ignore all the responsibilities that don't pertain to me living like an athlete. Still it was good, it was fun, and tomorrow's another day.
Holy fuck i'm tired....
heddwch
G
Friday, October 14, 2016
Gloucester is tomorrow...
And this morning i spend an hour getting the bike rack to fit on the Volvo, only to take it off and not use it once I got home and plans solidified.
Mostly this morning I just wanted to go back to sleep. Super tired, not sleeping great plus everything else.
White Blue after swapping out the self destructing Concor for one that Doug V sent me.
Whats in the car now? Tent, weights, stakes, and work stand.
Need to load: Bikes (both) Tools, Food, Beer, Clothes (need to find them), "stuff"?
Bikes, going with white blue and SSCX. The gearing on the single speed is probably faster than riding geared bike for me but also leg shredding. But has my favorite tires on but still gonna hang out in the pit. Why? Why not. I have 4 rideable CX bikes, might as well bring two of them with me.
The White blue is filthy. And has road tires on it still. Need to fix both, probably only get the latter sorted out before tomorrow. May not dial the brakes on it until tomorrow if i do the wheel swap. Def bringing extra tubs, the 303s may implode on pre-ride.
But dinner has to be made. Mostly for the family to eat but I guess I need to eat too. Can't raced on no fuel.
Can't race on road tires. Even if Andy Bishop did it once. I ain't no Andy Bishop.
Tough place but good place maybe? So awesome to ride with Goldberg on his birthday. I wish I was stronger and faster and not so broken. But it is always a blessing and magical to ride with him.
okay... enough of a procrastination break. Time to get down to making shit happen so i can sleep a couple hours.
Maybe...
heddwch,
G
Mostly this morning I just wanted to go back to sleep. Super tired, not sleeping great plus everything else.
White Blue after swapping out the self destructing Concor for one that Doug V sent me.
Whats in the car now? Tent, weights, stakes, and work stand.
Need to load: Bikes (both) Tools, Food, Beer, Clothes (need to find them), "stuff"?
Bikes, going with white blue and SSCX. The gearing on the single speed is probably faster than riding geared bike for me but also leg shredding. But has my favorite tires on but still gonna hang out in the pit. Why? Why not. I have 4 rideable CX bikes, might as well bring two of them with me.
The White blue is filthy. And has road tires on it still. Need to fix both, probably only get the latter sorted out before tomorrow. May not dial the brakes on it until tomorrow if i do the wheel swap. Def bringing extra tubs, the 303s may implode on pre-ride.
But dinner has to be made. Mostly for the family to eat but I guess I need to eat too. Can't raced on no fuel.
Can't race on road tires. Even if Andy Bishop did it once. I ain't no Andy Bishop.
Tough place but good place maybe? So awesome to ride with Goldberg on his birthday. I wish I was stronger and faster and not so broken. But it is always a blessing and magical to ride with him.
okay... enough of a procrastination break. Time to get down to making shit happen so i can sleep a couple hours.
Maybe...
heddwch,
G
Thursday, October 13, 2016
the race...
yes... I should write about it.
How a week of prep, carefully carved out minutes here and there to get things ready, a saturday of tweaking and swapping and everything.
The SSCX surly was ready to go.
But the pedals I wanted on that bike were on the black blue, the EX... and the drive side pedal has stripped too many 8mm and isn't coming off. So that's totally fucked. Incredibly fucked.
But whatever. Last ditch effort at the shop with breaker bar resulted in nothing. And I even forgot to get single ring bolts so I can ditch the other ring.
But of course everything went to hell. Because it is the week before G_ster and sleep? FUCK THAT YOU CAN'T SLEEP. Pedal time? HEY YOU ARE GOING TO SHRED LEGS! Oh right while you were shredding legs all the shit that you're a pro at, that you get paid to keep working? Well it all broke. Works great and flawless while there, not so much when i'm not. Awesome.
But hey, how does this weekend work? probably only if i drive there and back. But thats okay. Covered it. Right?
But... somehow everything is unhinged.
Despite the race I had on sunday. Spent the day getting the bike dialed. Bars swapped, cranks swapped (Mantra is now TOTALLY unrideable) but not pedals swapped. Tires swapped. And that leads into another issue. Them 303s are fucking HOSED MOFO. Like held together with a prayer and some residual epoxy. No rain in the forecast so... the Limus are gonna be a watt sucking pointless endeavor. The one set of tubeless tires are set up with tubes on the SSCX, disc brakes (front brake is contaminated and chattery and fucking sucky ATM, aka fine before MRC, not it is not).
yes... i shut down some video someone tried to show here just now, to make me listen to the GOP's candidate railing against Natives and their casinos, because they are all just rigging the system or something. unlike what he's doing.
Did you see the video of the white dude in the white pickup truck running over peaceful native protesters? Probably not.
Did you see a dozen more other things that are egregious and offensive and horrifying that happened in the same time span?
probably not.
why?
who knows.
life.
fuck.
this shit would have been so much easier if someone hadn't rigged the fuck out of the primaries and it would be clear cut and we'd be moving forward and Sanders would set the way to have Michelle Obama as the succeeding prez. As it is now? Fuck this shit we're still threatened with some cheetofacedfuckwad sexual predator running for the most powerful office in the world. And the Russians are preparing their population for the possibility of a nuclear winter. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK MOTHERFUCKERS.
But.
hey, it doesn't matter, who ever is in the office has so little power it doesn't matter.
FUCKING BULLSHIT.
But hey, lets show more damning evidence and videos of this loser cheetofacedjackass doing something offensive. It'll surely make a difference. EXCEPT IT WON'T. DISCONNECT and if not disconnect totally absolute doe eyed worship of it. suuuure HRC is fine. Except she's been endorsed by every major conservative outlet and pundit. Oh hey, she's a republican and that's great, she always has been. Her husband too kind of mostly. And that kind of sucks, duping of the democrats. NO question women's rights are in the balance, as is the whole stability of the nation and we're left with precious little choice. Or we are left with choice,
Take the BURN THIS PLACE DOWN option and pick trump and pray to god you have no debt and you have a salary/job that isn't impacted by the country's economy or interest rates. Total option sure, some of us can't pick that option.
But burn it down. why not?
because this is not the time and place to do so.
life, is too precious.
nails in the fence....
but it is challenging and complex and confounding and I'm just totally lost.
I hope, upon hope, that when the whistle blows on Saturday and Sunday that I can forget everything, I hop that I can go as hard as I can to the point where nothing else matters.
Just me against the course.
Finding the right line, pushing through for the whole race.
Then cleaning up, eating, drinking some water, maybe a beer, and getting to work, focused on making things as perfect for the people who've put their trust in me until they finish their race. Pack it up and go home, sleep wake up and do it again.
So tempting just to bring the orange bike as the pit bike.
I was trying to remember how many times I've raced G-ster. How many years? 07 to now. How many times? all but one year I think I raced both days. That's a bit of familiarity with the course. I looked at the course map and could close my eyes and almost ride the course with confidence. It'll be dry so no big deal. There'll be big rocks, and grip for days or no grip, speed and flow will be utmost of importance. Do I have it?
I dunno, i shredded my legs today. will try and regain some form and function with the ride tomorrow. Stresses both maybe controllable and totally out of my control.
Life motherfuckers.
It is so fucked.
But hey, time to make the cyclocross. Well in a few days at least.
Life. Scars that never seem to heal.
we keep moving though? No?
Tomorrow is Goldberg's birthday. It also happens to be 25 years since the first kiss/date with my wife. The same day i scarred my cornea with a bit of errant compressed norway maple trunk that glanced off my cheek and deflected under my safety glasses and created the most subtle scar that is so subtle it never heals properly, even now.
A physical manifestation of my life of internalizing everything.
But hey, cyclocross this weekend.
No sleep all week. No big deal. Legs were dead today. No big deal. It is what it is. or not. or whatever.
good night and heddwch
G
How a week of prep, carefully carved out minutes here and there to get things ready, a saturday of tweaking and swapping and everything.
The SSCX surly was ready to go.
But the pedals I wanted on that bike were on the black blue, the EX... and the drive side pedal has stripped too many 8mm and isn't coming off. So that's totally fucked. Incredibly fucked.
But whatever. Last ditch effort at the shop with breaker bar resulted in nothing. And I even forgot to get single ring bolts so I can ditch the other ring.
But of course everything went to hell. Because it is the week before G_ster and sleep? FUCK THAT YOU CAN'T SLEEP. Pedal time? HEY YOU ARE GOING TO SHRED LEGS! Oh right while you were shredding legs all the shit that you're a pro at, that you get paid to keep working? Well it all broke. Works great and flawless while there, not so much when i'm not. Awesome.
But hey, how does this weekend work? probably only if i drive there and back. But thats okay. Covered it. Right?
But... somehow everything is unhinged.
Despite the race I had on sunday. Spent the day getting the bike dialed. Bars swapped, cranks swapped (Mantra is now TOTALLY unrideable) but not pedals swapped. Tires swapped. And that leads into another issue. Them 303s are fucking HOSED MOFO. Like held together with a prayer and some residual epoxy. No rain in the forecast so... the Limus are gonna be a watt sucking pointless endeavor. The one set of tubeless tires are set up with tubes on the SSCX, disc brakes (front brake is contaminated and chattery and fucking sucky ATM, aka fine before MRC, not it is not).
yes... i shut down some video someone tried to show here just now, to make me listen to the GOP's candidate railing against Natives and their casinos, because they are all just rigging the system or something. unlike what he's doing.
Did you see the video of the white dude in the white pickup truck running over peaceful native protesters? Probably not.
Did you see a dozen more other things that are egregious and offensive and horrifying that happened in the same time span?
probably not.
why?
who knows.
life.
fuck.
this shit would have been so much easier if someone hadn't rigged the fuck out of the primaries and it would be clear cut and we'd be moving forward and Sanders would set the way to have Michelle Obama as the succeeding prez. As it is now? Fuck this shit we're still threatened with some cheetofacedfuckwad sexual predator running for the most powerful office in the world. And the Russians are preparing their population for the possibility of a nuclear winter. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK MOTHERFUCKERS.
But.
hey, it doesn't matter, who ever is in the office has so little power it doesn't matter.
FUCKING BULLSHIT.
But hey, lets show more damning evidence and videos of this loser cheetofacedjackass doing something offensive. It'll surely make a difference. EXCEPT IT WON'T. DISCONNECT and if not disconnect totally absolute doe eyed worship of it. suuuure HRC is fine. Except she's been endorsed by every major conservative outlet and pundit. Oh hey, she's a republican and that's great, she always has been. Her husband too kind of mostly. And that kind of sucks, duping of the democrats. NO question women's rights are in the balance, as is the whole stability of the nation and we're left with precious little choice. Or we are left with choice,
Take the BURN THIS PLACE DOWN option and pick trump and pray to god you have no debt and you have a salary/job that isn't impacted by the country's economy or interest rates. Total option sure, some of us can't pick that option.
But burn it down. why not?
because this is not the time and place to do so.
life, is too precious.
nails in the fence....
but it is challenging and complex and confounding and I'm just totally lost.
I hope, upon hope, that when the whistle blows on Saturday and Sunday that I can forget everything, I hop that I can go as hard as I can to the point where nothing else matters.
Just me against the course.
Finding the right line, pushing through for the whole race.
Then cleaning up, eating, drinking some water, maybe a beer, and getting to work, focused on making things as perfect for the people who've put their trust in me until they finish their race. Pack it up and go home, sleep wake up and do it again.
So tempting just to bring the orange bike as the pit bike.
I was trying to remember how many times I've raced G-ster. How many years? 07 to now. How many times? all but one year I think I raced both days. That's a bit of familiarity with the course. I looked at the course map and could close my eyes and almost ride the course with confidence. It'll be dry so no big deal. There'll be big rocks, and grip for days or no grip, speed and flow will be utmost of importance. Do I have it?
I dunno, i shredded my legs today. will try and regain some form and function with the ride tomorrow. Stresses both maybe controllable and totally out of my control.
Life motherfuckers.
It is so fucked.
But hey, time to make the cyclocross. Well in a few days at least.
Life. Scars that never seem to heal.
we keep moving though? No?
Tomorrow is Goldberg's birthday. It also happens to be 25 years since the first kiss/date with my wife. The same day i scarred my cornea with a bit of errant compressed norway maple trunk that glanced off my cheek and deflected under my safety glasses and created the most subtle scar that is so subtle it never heals properly, even now.
A physical manifestation of my life of internalizing everything.
But hey, cyclocross this weekend.
No sleep all week. No big deal. Legs were dead today. No big deal. It is what it is. or not. or whatever.
good night and heddwch
G
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
problem is
i can't really talk about the race without talking about the bike, and getting it set and ready to race, or about how the bike came about to being mine and how i managed to make it work w/o really actually buying anything but still some how keeping all the other bikes intact (with the exception the black blue needs a bit of bar tape put back on the narrower bars with the weird angle stem).
Also some how the odd shifting on the black blue seems to be due to the fact that I put near abouts 4k miles on in from June to now and well, despite keeping well lubed and clean for the most part, it is blown. New cassette and chain at the end of May and now it is toast.
And somehow gotta figure out tire situation, current tubeless are on the SSCX with tubes, leaving the beat up barely functional waiting to implode 303s with the PDX and Fango combo (F/R) or the mud loving but grass sucking Limus on the alloys. And while functional, it leaves kind of my favorite tires on the SSCX with tubes in them or i get a pair of Super Swans, heavy but UST aka beefy and fat and new to go on the Ultegra wheels (until they blow up).
Was going to steal these moments to get most of that story written, to set the stage for racing on Sunday. But, well... My wife came home from the chicago marathon at about 1pm on Sunday night. Sick and exhausted. Stayed in bed most all of Monday (holiday) and then Tuesday morning gets in the van, starts it and remembered that the tire low indicator was on Sunday, but forgot to tell me when I could do something about it (Monday), couldn't do anything about it yesterday and if I want any daylight to see if it is just low pressure from the temps or if the van has picked up its 5th screw, well I gotta leave now. Because, well, not only dinner cooker, food buyer, house fixer guy, dish washer, i'm the only one who can deal with stuff regarding the cars. And yes, I still need to get the van inspected, where's the fucking time to get everything done? Oh and get stuff ready for G-ster. AND RIDE MY BIKE SO I CAN STAY SANE!
Been bugging me that I haven't managed to get anything together with the Nanoscape, there's a call for proposals that I missed two years ago, (two year exhibit cycle) and I think I know what collection I want to submit. So I'm kind of stoked about that, need to gather the needed materials for that, that sort of crystalized in my head last night as I lay in bed most of the night not sleeping for some unknown reason.
G-ster.
Soon.
Next.
Details need to be worked out. kind of back to resigning to drive back and forth. Even if it means getting home late and just going to bed. Time in the car is time I can relax and then sleep in my own bed. Worth the extra ~200 miles? and 4+ hrs of driving? maybe. But I'm also uncomfortable asking for a bit of floor to sleep on. Oh well. I do def sleep better in my own bed and that's a big difference when it comes time to recovery between races. And that's extra time not drinking beers, also a good thing.
Burning daylight writing words.
heddwch
G
Also some how the odd shifting on the black blue seems to be due to the fact that I put near abouts 4k miles on in from June to now and well, despite keeping well lubed and clean for the most part, it is blown. New cassette and chain at the end of May and now it is toast.
And somehow gotta figure out tire situation, current tubeless are on the SSCX with tubes, leaving the beat up barely functional waiting to implode 303s with the PDX and Fango combo (F/R) or the mud loving but grass sucking Limus on the alloys. And while functional, it leaves kind of my favorite tires on the SSCX with tubes in them or i get a pair of Super Swans, heavy but UST aka beefy and fat and new to go on the Ultegra wheels (until they blow up).
Was going to steal these moments to get most of that story written, to set the stage for racing on Sunday. But, well... My wife came home from the chicago marathon at about 1pm on Sunday night. Sick and exhausted. Stayed in bed most all of Monday (holiday) and then Tuesday morning gets in the van, starts it and remembered that the tire low indicator was on Sunday, but forgot to tell me when I could do something about it (Monday), couldn't do anything about it yesterday and if I want any daylight to see if it is just low pressure from the temps or if the van has picked up its 5th screw, well I gotta leave now. Because, well, not only dinner cooker, food buyer, house fixer guy, dish washer, i'm the only one who can deal with stuff regarding the cars. And yes, I still need to get the van inspected, where's the fucking time to get everything done? Oh and get stuff ready for G-ster. AND RIDE MY BIKE SO I CAN STAY SANE!
Been bugging me that I haven't managed to get anything together with the Nanoscape, there's a call for proposals that I missed two years ago, (two year exhibit cycle) and I think I know what collection I want to submit. So I'm kind of stoked about that, need to gather the needed materials for that, that sort of crystalized in my head last night as I lay in bed most of the night not sleeping for some unknown reason.
G-ster.
Soon.
Next.
Details need to be worked out. kind of back to resigning to drive back and forth. Even if it means getting home late and just going to bed. Time in the car is time I can relax and then sleep in my own bed. Worth the extra ~200 miles? and 4+ hrs of driving? maybe. But I'm also uncomfortable asking for a bit of floor to sleep on. Oh well. I do def sleep better in my own bed and that's a big difference when it comes time to recovery between races. And that's extra time not drinking beers, also a good thing.
Burning daylight writing words.
heddwch
G
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
well I finally pinned a number on, and it was
everything I could have hoped for. AKA kind of the opposite of SSCX nats (even though i ended it on my own terms it wasn't really on my own terms).
But I also totally burned the day away w/o finding a moment to sit down and write and only now getting ready for not-smackdown tuesday night right. Brown kids took over the evening with a non-drop ride.
And yes, if it wasn't for Derek Griggs and him finding a big freak size SSCX rig in the proper color and at a price i couldn't pass up i may not have even raced yesterday.
But I did, my kids came up to the race, just like they did last year. Enticed by the promise of going to Bolton Orchards after the race. And in fact once bikes were packed up i was cold enough that we bolted to the orchards.
maybe I can find time to tell the story tonight.
writing, and the rest of the creative outlets have been slipping lately, not sure what they are being replaced by other than work and life... need to write some more...
and i'll start with maybe doing a legit CX race report.
cliff notes? It was muddy and my gearing and tire choice was f'n perfect (for me). I wasn't the fastest but I finished behind people who've i maybe never really beaten before so there's that? And I had fun. And I surprised myself with while feeling pretty terribly and totally spent and gave it my all, it was more than I expected to have in the legs.
Don't worry, not overconfident going into G-ster. Full expecting to not finish where I'm gridded up based on points. Just looking forward to racing.
Nixon kind of said it best the last time I rode out to the Brewery, "You get to a point where you know how good you can get." translation my absolute best probably even making it a full time job won't get me on the podium, it'll never make me fast enough to ride and race with Al and Adam and Mark the Shark and all the rest of the guys at the front of the race. Meaning? Having fun, as long as it is fun I'll keep lining up, try to start on the lead lap even if that's my only goal, that and to race who ever I'm around, maybe handle one section well enough to gain an advantage over someone when it comes to the finish. Anyway.
Now i'm close to being late.
Racing felt good. I'm looking forward to more.
heddwch
G
But I also totally burned the day away w/o finding a moment to sit down and write and only now getting ready for not-smackdown tuesday night right. Brown kids took over the evening with a non-drop ride.
And yes, if it wasn't for Derek Griggs and him finding a big freak size SSCX rig in the proper color and at a price i couldn't pass up i may not have even raced yesterday.
But I did, my kids came up to the race, just like they did last year. Enticed by the promise of going to Bolton Orchards after the race. And in fact once bikes were packed up i was cold enough that we bolted to the orchards.
maybe I can find time to tell the story tonight.
writing, and the rest of the creative outlets have been slipping lately, not sure what they are being replaced by other than work and life... need to write some more...
and i'll start with maybe doing a legit CX race report.
cliff notes? It was muddy and my gearing and tire choice was f'n perfect (for me). I wasn't the fastest but I finished behind people who've i maybe never really beaten before so there's that? And I had fun. And I surprised myself with while feeling pretty terribly and totally spent and gave it my all, it was more than I expected to have in the legs.
Don't worry, not overconfident going into G-ster. Full expecting to not finish where I'm gridded up based on points. Just looking forward to racing.
Nixon kind of said it best the last time I rode out to the Brewery, "You get to a point where you know how good you can get." translation my absolute best probably even making it a full time job won't get me on the podium, it'll never make me fast enough to ride and race with Al and Adam and Mark the Shark and all the rest of the guys at the front of the race. Meaning? Having fun, as long as it is fun I'll keep lining up, try to start on the lead lap even if that's my only goal, that and to race who ever I'm around, maybe handle one section well enough to gain an advantage over someone when it comes to the finish. Anyway.
Now i'm close to being late.
Racing felt good. I'm looking forward to more.
heddwch
G
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