just kidding - that title implies cognitive work and a cohesive narrative, two things very much not found here at ge willi dot com.
but today very much kind of is the year in a nutshell.
warrantied my lights - the dead bontrager lights have been replaced, shop party for both the CX race and the annual company ones haven't happened, didn't miss them for a change this year! Pretty sweet.
So for the hell of it I thought i'd take the volvo.
BUUUUUT
it won't start.
Took the van, and when I got back hooked up the jumper cables (battery is 2-3 years old so should still be good - lead acid FTW) it cranked over a tiny bit faster but still. would. not. start.
Gonna be a lot harder to sell if it won't start, different no start than last year at this time when we went to try and go to a show with the kid in boston. This is a flat out no spark, no fuel, no air? SOMETHING. Back then it was a start but immediately die. This is totally new. AND SO MUCH FUN.
Maybe a donation to PBS is in order...
I guess the parallel to the year is more along the lines of accepting things and even if they are frustrating and stressful they will eventually work out and while i do agonize over kind of pretty much everything - often the overthinking is not wrong. Or is less wrong than it ever has been. That's probably the getting old.
Or the getting sober thing.
I'm surprised to find that my most listened to pandora is the Avett Brothers station. not frank turner or anything else, a shift i suppose, perhaps it is really time to learn the guitar and do more than just sing along. perhaps I can figure out that whole playing thing.
I've been successful at not thinking beyond this week. But just now a bit of what the next few weeks have in store registered. New training, the class, so much work to do.
But I'll start it by getting up - making coffee - eating food, registering for the 24 hour mtb race, probably single speed, and then loading the MTB up and heading to the Poker ride. I'll play diagnostic games with the volvo later. Or just call and have it picked up. Signs are signs eh?
I hope your year closes out well - mine has been well, interesting. Next year, the next chapter is sure to be interesting.
heddwch
G
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Monday, December 30, 2019
if not one thing...
offered up the car to the faceplace crowd, have a couple folks interested. other suggestion was to donate it to PBS, they have a slick donation page, supposed to take care of everything or something, tax write off instead of taking it to the scrap yard for cash. I like that idea better. I like the idea of giving it to someone who needs it/can fix it even better.
Made some deconstructed stew in my new Staub pot i got for christmas. too goddamnsmall for our family (yeah there's only 4 of us but between me and the youngest - well we eat more like 6) so i did it a bit deconstructed. meat broth in the pot, potatoes and other root stuff (separated) in the oven. Actually worked out really well. Put the carrot, parsnip and turnip in the broth with the meat when it was finished and served it all over roasted potatoes (peeled and cubed russets).
Was so good. nailed the flavor too. very little left over.
one more day then the 20s start.
i know there's some odd debate about when the decade starts, i feel like it starts on the 1st this year, not next year. and i think i'm correct, but of course people will argue it. i'm arguing it here, just one sided...
One of the dogs had a bit of a skin issue that got much worse while in VA - at the same time also getting better? food change and part of it cleared up but the other got worse, so now she's on a medication that cost $100 after a sick dog visit, poor baby, hoping this works and she's more comfortable.
Did ride the bike. Mostly because it was in the 30s and raining all day. If i was less than 100 miles from hitting a magic mileage mark for the year I might have gone out, but 5735 miles or some even more random KM number has me saying - f'it. Next year is the year of the MTB anyway. Mileage? Fuck that - hmm I wonder what my hours are right now, maybe that's the number to shoot for next year. This year I hit 452hrs and 44min... again not a magic number to get close to - round down to 450.
nothing special, not 10k, more than many, not impressive in the scheme of things, other than maybe it is for someone who works two jobs from April to September.
i guess i also need to acknowledge that tension (about the cars) that has built up over months, isn't going to dissipate instantly. Van's getting fixed next monday, Volvo? not so much...
and yeah - i need to ride a bike... maybe it won't suck tomorrow, but either way I'll head out and do the Poker Ride on the 1st (right after signing up for the 24HOGG - probably singlespeed solo category).
Yeah... if there was a clydesdale Solo category i'd sign up for that, but Singlespeed it is - will have to start racing like that - need to get a few cogs I guess, start figuring out gearing for me... and thinking about this and i'm getting excited - minivan becomes race vehicle - maybe take that middle seat out of the van for more space! I can leave the hitch rack on it all the time - maybe even get that 2 bike extension for it, HAUL 4 bikes...
okay - now i'm tired - oh it is late - good - sleep soon
heddwch
G
Made some deconstructed stew in my new Staub pot i got for christmas. too goddamnsmall for our family (yeah there's only 4 of us but between me and the youngest - well we eat more like 6) so i did it a bit deconstructed. meat broth in the pot, potatoes and other root stuff (separated) in the oven. Actually worked out really well. Put the carrot, parsnip and turnip in the broth with the meat when it was finished and served it all over roasted potatoes (peeled and cubed russets).
Was so good. nailed the flavor too. very little left over.
one more day then the 20s start.
i know there's some odd debate about when the decade starts, i feel like it starts on the 1st this year, not next year. and i think i'm correct, but of course people will argue it. i'm arguing it here, just one sided...
One of the dogs had a bit of a skin issue that got much worse while in VA - at the same time also getting better? food change and part of it cleared up but the other got worse, so now she's on a medication that cost $100 after a sick dog visit, poor baby, hoping this works and she's more comfortable.
Did ride the bike. Mostly because it was in the 30s and raining all day. If i was less than 100 miles from hitting a magic mileage mark for the year I might have gone out, but 5735 miles or some even more random KM number has me saying - f'it. Next year is the year of the MTB anyway. Mileage? Fuck that - hmm I wonder what my hours are right now, maybe that's the number to shoot for next year. This year I hit 452hrs and 44min... again not a magic number to get close to - round down to 450.
nothing special, not 10k, more than many, not impressive in the scheme of things, other than maybe it is for someone who works two jobs from April to September.
i guess i also need to acknowledge that tension (about the cars) that has built up over months, isn't going to dissipate instantly. Van's getting fixed next monday, Volvo? not so much...
and yeah - i need to ride a bike... maybe it won't suck tomorrow, but either way I'll head out and do the Poker Ride on the 1st (right after signing up for the 24HOGG - probably singlespeed solo category).
Yeah... if there was a clydesdale Solo category i'd sign up for that, but Singlespeed it is - will have to start racing like that - need to get a few cogs I guess, start figuring out gearing for me... and thinking about this and i'm getting excited - minivan becomes race vehicle - maybe take that middle seat out of the van for more space! I can leave the hitch rack on it all the time - maybe even get that 2 bike extension for it, HAUL 4 bikes...
okay - now i'm tired - oh it is late - good - sleep soon
heddwch
G
Sunday, December 29, 2019
and back
made it - only minorly stressful...
wheel didn't seize or fall off, it certainly is getting louder, got louder. I had to stop and pee a handful of times, bad timing with the coffee in the morning, not enough time to wake up all the way, not all systems were online yet. oh well. the extra stop or two gave the wheel bearing and engine a chance to cool off and m yzake it.
my idea on the way up was to just park this, get the volvo running and deal with the wheel bearing as needed. seems that idea isn't the best.
who wants a volvo? needs a catalytic converter, a window regulator clip, maybe some other random shit... guess i need to sell it, or something... has good tires, engine runs really well when it starts. transmission is pretty rough in the cold, may go soon. I'm really talking it up eh? the list of shit on the van that needs something is shorter than the volvo's and i can pay someone to replace the wheel bearing for the price i can buy a catalytic converter for the volvo - and i'd still have to deal with 200k miles of rust... why the fuck do i get attached to shit - it is just a car - Justin gave it to me for a song basically, so that's kind of the attachment link for me i guess - i feel obligated to keep it going, for some loyalty or gratefulness.
super tired - not sleeping well, but loaded with coffee - that yin and yang - the constant internal struggle has a physiological manifestation right now.
lots of struggles... was going to listen to a book while K watched or did her thing, but well i forgot to DL it before the drive. not sure i want to keep reading the book i started, or start reading any of the books in the cue.
fortunately the drive back was pretty clean, very little traffic - we stayed just ahead of most of the bad stuff, van only really started overheating around NYC. maybe this just doesn't like that area? but that was really the only traffic...
if we had space to park the volvo and take the tags off, maybe it is worth doing, keeping it going means insurance and all that - has almost a year on the registration though but i think i get some of that back if i return the plates.
new car was supposed to make life easier and to take the stress off of me, so i wouldn't have to worry about this shit...
nothing to be done about it tonight - maybe the fatigue will win the battle with the coffee and i'll be able to sleep... and deal with it all tomorrow...
heddwch
G
wheel didn't seize or fall off, it certainly is getting louder, got louder. I had to stop and pee a handful of times, bad timing with the coffee in the morning, not enough time to wake up all the way, not all systems were online yet. oh well. the extra stop or two gave the wheel bearing and engine a chance to cool off and m yzake it.
my idea on the way up was to just park this, get the volvo running and deal with the wheel bearing as needed. seems that idea isn't the best.
who wants a volvo? needs a catalytic converter, a window regulator clip, maybe some other random shit... guess i need to sell it, or something... has good tires, engine runs really well when it starts. transmission is pretty rough in the cold, may go soon. I'm really talking it up eh? the list of shit on the van that needs something is shorter than the volvo's and i can pay someone to replace the wheel bearing for the price i can buy a catalytic converter for the volvo - and i'd still have to deal with 200k miles of rust... why the fuck do i get attached to shit - it is just a car - Justin gave it to me for a song basically, so that's kind of the attachment link for me i guess - i feel obligated to keep it going, for some loyalty or gratefulness.
super tired - not sleeping well, but loaded with coffee - that yin and yang - the constant internal struggle has a physiological manifestation right now.
lots of struggles... was going to listen to a book while K watched or did her thing, but well i forgot to DL it before the drive. not sure i want to keep reading the book i started, or start reading any of the books in the cue.
fortunately the drive back was pretty clean, very little traffic - we stayed just ahead of most of the bad stuff, van only really started overheating around NYC. maybe this just doesn't like that area? but that was really the only traffic...
if we had space to park the volvo and take the tags off, maybe it is worth doing, keeping it going means insurance and all that - has almost a year on the registration though but i think i get some of that back if i return the plates.
new car was supposed to make life easier and to take the stress off of me, so i wouldn't have to worry about this shit...
nothing to be done about it tonight - maybe the fatigue will win the battle with the coffee and i'll be able to sleep... and deal with it all tomorrow...
heddwch
G
Thursday, December 26, 2019
merry happy and all that
off line musings? down here in modern techville? Yup. really old wireless system, down more than up, perhaps they never use it here and never notice… or all their devices are either hardwired or LTE is fine.
it is probably good though - nothing out in the digital range that is necessary. I can search online for new cats for the volvo later, big part of me wants to keep it but with wife not driving it and the van being excessively large and overkill for 1-2 people, but it being the newer one with fewer (hard to imagine) problems, it makes sense to replace the 15 year old instead of the 10 year old and not have 3 cars… i’ve been pretty good at avoiding the whole elevated anxiety since the trip down.
but man what a trip that was. 6 hours to Newark in the van that decided it does NOT like idling and well… temp just starts climbing and climbing when it does that, at least the giant heat sink in the passenger compartment HVAC helps, managed to regulate it pretty well with windows down w/o cooking everyone, but it was touch and go and if I didn’t keep an eye out the temp would push up above 200F. Thankfully this car doesn’t have an idiot guage coolant indicator, the Golf would sit at 190 until the actual temp got to 240 or some stupid shit like that - you could watch the real reading from the Vag-Com, not so much fun, and on this van, with that stupid plastic Y sitting right above the exhaust manifold? overheating is a catastrophic failure w/o no mode for road-side recovery w/o a spare (I don’t have a spare, hmmm).
And then there’s the wheel bearing. Gotta hope it lasts until we made it back to RI, no time/place to get it done here before we leave. It i still pretty quiet in a straight line, two hands on the wheel the whole time is the plan for that. And now looking at days, well we’re gonna drive with or drive into the weather front, rain rain rain….
The holidays are fine, routine/tradition all well established, when the expected happens there’s no dissapointment, I have no expectations or hopes for surprises or being given something i’m really excited about, totally given up on that, and that’s a good thing. Thinking I should ahve brought the bike, but all that stuff? ugh. Too much stuff, and no riding the last two days, today might be an opportunity but i’m tired and resting and relaxing and doing nothing is good.
FInished the NKKJ Broken Earth series book 1. So good. That was a really good read. it was also a hybrid read/listen. Started listening, but ended up reading and discovering that i was reading more than 2x as fast as the audiobook at 1.2 speed. Usually books I’m at 1.4 at least but one of the last ones I listened too was actually read at a fast enough pace that 1.4 was clipping too many of the words. It wasn’t that I wasn’t able to follow it, more than the digital compression was noticeable and that bugged me.
Currently have two books in the cue but neither really exciting, maybe i need a reading break.
or not
feeling kind of useless, restless, bored, doing a good job of putting the car anxiety out of my head and ignoring it, but this is a great time to be working on it, and the 5th is the day and well that’s a Sunday and the garage is closed so really i have till the 3rd to get it re-inspected, with a holiday fucking up shipping, perhaps i’ll order one before we leave… pick up some MAP gas for the fasteners and hope i don’t need to buy more studs or need to take the manifold off. At least it is easier to access than the Passat’s manifold. Jerry did a good job of breaking the stud off that one weekend back in the day… took me a while to get it off, had it off and ready to go back on the day the Golf caught fire and burned up, put that thing back together in 19F weather. I guess I’m supposed to do exhaust work in January, outside, in the cold. Or we really just pull the plug on that car and move on to something new.
unresolved
Oh and Memory foam beds? not a fan. Much better than the floor or a deflating air-mattress tho.
need some music i think, this is where my old brain would just start drinking to survive, got feeling it would be perfect for just being stoned out of my mind too, but then that's not a path i'm ready or eager to take on, given me. Straight edge, clean and sober. Coffee is my vice, or my blood, need coffee, the rest?
But then if I'm going to sign up for the 24HOGG, well I'll do what I did the last time I raced it... gonna taper down to no coffee. maybe. it is an idea at least. Registration opens at 8am. The Poker Ride is at 9. Should be able to do both. Assuming i have a car put together enough to get to the poker ride.
Filling the space by emptying my head may not be the best either. House is almost empty, probably wrap this up when they leave and transition to some music, maybe work on a puzzle, something analog at least.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, happy holidays, whatever, wishing all y'all a winter post solstice greeting, the shortest days are behind us, but the coldest are ahead.
be safe be kind
heddwch
G
Saturday, December 21, 2019
At least it isn't raining
went to put the car on ramps to get under to work on trying to get the O2 sensor out.
BTW - even with the fancy tool, it. won't. fucking. move. The fancy hardened O2 sensor tool was bending and I had the longest lever arm that would fit in the chase. My longer breaker bar is too long w/o removing/dropping the cat below the car. I'm not wanting to do a full exhaust system change.
and... well the driver's side window? It is stuck down. Regulator broke, or window came off the track or something, so now, I have a car w/o a working window, a CEL that won't stay off long enough to get a sticker (although maybe I'll try on monday to see what can be done - maybe it'll stay off long enough if i follow the protocol for re-setting the system and i'll get a sticker and just have to deal with a fucking window)
But at least it isn't raining...
yet...
i'm tired - i'm frustrated - i was already on an edge, just barely holding it together - now not so much, but i will, somehow
anyone want to buy a car that needs a little work? '04 V70 you can have it for less than I paid for it - hell I'll take $100 at this point, come and get it, hell i'll deliver it even.
gonna go back and play with the door, see what plastic I can break off while trying to get the window to go back up.
at least it isn't raining
heddwh
G
Post-script:
Topeak tool to the rescue - got the window up. rear clip that the actuator attaches to broke, but i was able to stick a hand in from the bottom (removed panel) and close the window.
No more driver's window use w/o fixing that. And I fucked up my back trying to get the O2 sensor off.
BTW - even with the fancy tool, it. won't. fucking. move. The fancy hardened O2 sensor tool was bending and I had the longest lever arm that would fit in the chase. My longer breaker bar is too long w/o removing/dropping the cat below the car. I'm not wanting to do a full exhaust system change.
and... well the driver's side window? It is stuck down. Regulator broke, or window came off the track or something, so now, I have a car w/o a working window, a CEL that won't stay off long enough to get a sticker (although maybe I'll try on monday to see what can be done - maybe it'll stay off long enough if i follow the protocol for re-setting the system and i'll get a sticker and just have to deal with a fucking window)
But at least it isn't raining...
yet...
i'm tired - i'm frustrated - i was already on an edge, just barely holding it together - now not so much, but i will, somehow
anyone want to buy a car that needs a little work? '04 V70 you can have it for less than I paid for it - hell I'll take $100 at this point, come and get it, hell i'll deliver it even.
gonna go back and play with the door, see what plastic I can break off while trying to get the window to go back up.
at least it isn't raining
heddwh
G
Post-script:
Topeak tool to the rescue - got the window up. rear clip that the actuator attaches to broke, but i was able to stick a hand in from the bottom (removed panel) and close the window.
No more driver's window use w/o fixing that. And I fucked up my back trying to get the O2 sensor off.
Friday, December 20, 2019
check engine light
parable of life?
It isn't really a problem except it won't pass inspection.
I can turn it off for a while and everything is fine, then unexpectedly it lights up.
it doesn't stay off long enough, it isn't predictable...
it isn't an easy fix, well there is an easy fix but it is made nearly impossible by nice salty winter roads.
and it doesn't look like a straight up mileage clear...
and we're driving and now what are we driving...
short day today, art work printed picked up and dropped off, next up kid pick up, then home.
still pretty tired, also still pretty flat...
not a fan of this/any holiday
it was suggested that i bring a bike... not sure if that is a reason to get me out of the house but not really keen on riding in December in NoVa...
gotta scoot to go get the kid, shit i guess i have to pack up this place - or not
heddwch
G
It isn't really a problem except it won't pass inspection.
I can turn it off for a while and everything is fine, then unexpectedly it lights up.
it doesn't stay off long enough, it isn't predictable...
it isn't an easy fix, well there is an easy fix but it is made nearly impossible by nice salty winter roads.
and it doesn't look like a straight up mileage clear...
and we're driving and now what are we driving...
short day today, art work printed picked up and dropped off, next up kid pick up, then home.
still pretty tired, also still pretty flat...
not a fan of this/any holiday
it was suggested that i bring a bike... not sure if that is a reason to get me out of the house but not really keen on riding in December in NoVa...
gotta scoot to go get the kid, shit i guess i have to pack up this place - or not
heddwch
G
Thursday, December 19, 2019
And just like that
the switch gets flipped...
i almost replied to Colin's tweet hyping the Dirtwire coverage of Ice weasels with a 'Meh' gif
i didn't and moved on
heating up some food, eating at my desk, going to try and get to the remote location in time.
the ride in was good. i'll confess i'm listening to a book on the ride. I wanted to take a photo but it is too cold.
As it was I went to edit the strava auto-upload and the phone died cold at 51% w/in a minute of getting into the office. Probably wouldn't have even taken one photo out there...
the wind was fucking fierce - brutal headwind with temps in the teens (negative teens for the C folks).
I wasn't cold. but i'm not looking forward to riding down the hill to the other location.
Trying to make sense of my head isn't working today.
odd transition.
rather abrupt.
i gotta go.
shit needs to be done that can't be done sitting here and lunch is now consumed (still hungry damnit)
heddwch
G
i almost replied to Colin's tweet hyping the Dirtwire coverage of Ice weasels with a 'Meh' gif
i didn't and moved on
heating up some food, eating at my desk, going to try and get to the remote location in time.
the ride in was good. i'll confess i'm listening to a book on the ride. I wanted to take a photo but it is too cold.
As it was I went to edit the strava auto-upload and the phone died cold at 51% w/in a minute of getting into the office. Probably wouldn't have even taken one photo out there...
the wind was fucking fierce - brutal headwind with temps in the teens (negative teens for the C folks).
I wasn't cold. but i'm not looking forward to riding down the hill to the other location.
Trying to make sense of my head isn't working today.
odd transition.
rather abrupt.
i gotta go.
shit needs to be done that can't be done sitting here and lunch is now consumed (still hungry damnit)
heddwch
G
It is cold outside
13F/-11C cold but sunny. Also a quiet morning at work, no trainings scheduled so, I'm going to let it warm up a degree or two before heading in.
Chip and Shanna posted on the face place a link to a Mike C article from '18.
https://www.adventure-journal.com/2018/05/culture-mountain-biking-gone-astray/
Mike C was one of the Michigan gang, friend of Mike Webster, one of those that migrated to Colorado. He's old like us, old in that he was around back in the beginning, or perhaps to be honest the second wave of MTB if you count the repack marin birth as the first wave. I don't know what wave we're on now.
But I am honestly feeling more re-connected than I have in a while. I guess you can say as much as I hate to admit I think perhaps my CX mojo is still MIA {edited to remove sensitive material}. That's the only rational conclusion I can make on that metaphysical realm of motivation and passion. This isn't a bitter or negative comment, a statement of recognition and fact, acceptance even. I still love the damn goofy niche sport, and I guess I feel untrue to myself when I told Adam I am just bad at bikes, when he mentioned i'm really talented in other aspects he's only begun to realize. I'm not 'bad' at bikes, I'm just like Mitch, the slow guy in the fast group, the guy who can ride technically well just not fast, I have skills, I have endurance, it is just that whole training thing. And to train to be fast you need the motivation, the desire and the passion (or the paycheck) to do the work. I'm missing those. But it is okay. I have this music thing we do every year. It always leaves me wondering "why do i even bother putting myself through this" for the first few concerts, usually by the 3rd I get it and embrace it and accept that it is important to be there. Not just for us but for those who come to the shows. For the sold out crowd. For those who have been coming for years, for those that this isn't just our tradition. I have this job thing that I like, it doesn't pay well, but like this morning, I have flexibility to delay going to work, I enjoy it, it is stressful and overwhelming lately but I think I probably would make everything that way, I kind of do. The images, the artwork, the cellphone photos, I'm not a pro with that but they provide a bit of an outlet of creativity. I'd put in here what I'm missing, where the dark empty holes in my soul are but I'm trying to stay positive, besides - I still have the issue and worry about the car, and then the debate about which old one we'll drive to Virginia in a few days.
The reconnected bit? re-connected to MTB'n. I need to ride a few more places than just Big River, but there, it is good, new, fresh, and challenging. I'm the slow guy in the fast group, but the fast group are good people, patient and passionate and willing to wait for me and I'm grateful for that. I am excited to maybe sign up for one of the EFTA series, the Marathon one even. Looking forward to 24HOGG, gotta do that you know. Maybe it will translate into some CX fitness next year, or not. It will be what it is and I'll embrace whatever happens. Even if I complain and am sad, I still will embrace it.
After reading the post from '18 and thinking about the different waves of MTB and how I'm feeling pretty happy/lucky that I found a bike I really like and that feels just right (the Stache) I went and read this over at Mike's Blog. You know he's old because he still has a web log. It isn't just Me and Velocb and Seth at southbay.
https://lacemine29.blogspot.com/2019/11/euphoria-swallowed-by-darkness.html
ThomP talks a lot about the whole run arounds and all that. I appreciate the technical sections, I can't ride many of them, and I'm not quite ready to go out and ride a feature over and over until I get it, but I do keep track of when I do ride a feature that I haven't before, or I clean something one of the fast little skills guys dabs on. Maybe I'll get to the point of looping back and riding something over and over again. maybe that happens when you ride alone?
I can't find fault in Mike's points in both the links. But I've got this feeling that it is impossible to completely sanitize the trails in New England, and that there is a decent group looking out for them in a mostly good way. some of the rocks are just too big to move or sanitize although I'm sure there are places and people that can find examples of exceptions to this supposition.
I rode the Stache yesterday. And I'll probably ride it again today. Not the best commuter bike and probably not the best idea to commute on tires that cost $100 each. But I am writing instead of wrestling studded tires on one of the commuter bikes. I know, it is late. I'll be late. But I will get done what needs to be done, if I can find the motivation to overcome the desire to just crawl back in bed and sleep some more. And yeah - if I do the 24HOGG i'm gonna have to cut back on the coffee again. But I think I may have had an idea for the first day of class. Something unique, different and while maybe not interactive, perhaps, still fun.
Definitely not looking forward to bundling up, maybe it has warmed up a little? A couple degrees by now?
Best not put off the inevitable any longer.
heddwch
G
Chip and Shanna posted on the face place a link to a Mike C article from '18.
https://www.adventure-journal.com/2018/05/culture-mountain-biking-gone-astray/
Mike C was one of the Michigan gang, friend of Mike Webster, one of those that migrated to Colorado. He's old like us, old in that he was around back in the beginning, or perhaps to be honest the second wave of MTB if you count the repack marin birth as the first wave. I don't know what wave we're on now.
But I am honestly feeling more re-connected than I have in a while. I guess you can say as much as I hate to admit I think perhaps my CX mojo is still MIA {edited to remove sensitive material}. That's the only rational conclusion I can make on that metaphysical realm of motivation and passion. This isn't a bitter or negative comment, a statement of recognition and fact, acceptance even. I still love the damn goofy niche sport, and I guess I feel untrue to myself when I told Adam I am just bad at bikes, when he mentioned i'm really talented in other aspects he's only begun to realize. I'm not 'bad' at bikes, I'm just like Mitch, the slow guy in the fast group, the guy who can ride technically well just not fast, I have skills, I have endurance, it is just that whole training thing. And to train to be fast you need the motivation, the desire and the passion (or the paycheck) to do the work. I'm missing those. But it is okay. I have this music thing we do every year. It always leaves me wondering "why do i even bother putting myself through this" for the first few concerts, usually by the 3rd I get it and embrace it and accept that it is important to be there. Not just for us but for those who come to the shows. For the sold out crowd. For those who have been coming for years, for those that this isn't just our tradition. I have this job thing that I like, it doesn't pay well, but like this morning, I have flexibility to delay going to work, I enjoy it, it is stressful and overwhelming lately but I think I probably would make everything that way, I kind of do. The images, the artwork, the cellphone photos, I'm not a pro with that but they provide a bit of an outlet of creativity. I'd put in here what I'm missing, where the dark empty holes in my soul are but I'm trying to stay positive, besides - I still have the issue and worry about the car, and then the debate about which old one we'll drive to Virginia in a few days.
The reconnected bit? re-connected to MTB'n. I need to ride a few more places than just Big River, but there, it is good, new, fresh, and challenging. I'm the slow guy in the fast group, but the fast group are good people, patient and passionate and willing to wait for me and I'm grateful for that. I am excited to maybe sign up for one of the EFTA series, the Marathon one even. Looking forward to 24HOGG, gotta do that you know. Maybe it will translate into some CX fitness next year, or not. It will be what it is and I'll embrace whatever happens. Even if I complain and am sad, I still will embrace it.
After reading the post from '18 and thinking about the different waves of MTB and how I'm feeling pretty happy/lucky that I found a bike I really like and that feels just right (the Stache) I went and read this over at Mike's Blog. You know he's old because he still has a web log. It isn't just Me and Velocb and Seth at southbay.
https://lacemine29.blogspot.com/2019/11/euphoria-swallowed-by-darkness.html
ThomP talks a lot about the whole run arounds and all that. I appreciate the technical sections, I can't ride many of them, and I'm not quite ready to go out and ride a feature over and over until I get it, but I do keep track of when I do ride a feature that I haven't before, or I clean something one of the fast little skills guys dabs on. Maybe I'll get to the point of looping back and riding something over and over again. maybe that happens when you ride alone?
I can't find fault in Mike's points in both the links. But I've got this feeling that it is impossible to completely sanitize the trails in New England, and that there is a decent group looking out for them in a mostly good way. some of the rocks are just too big to move or sanitize although I'm sure there are places and people that can find examples of exceptions to this supposition.
I rode the Stache yesterday. And I'll probably ride it again today. Not the best commuter bike and probably not the best idea to commute on tires that cost $100 each. But I am writing instead of wrestling studded tires on one of the commuter bikes. I know, it is late. I'll be late. But I will get done what needs to be done, if I can find the motivation to overcome the desire to just crawl back in bed and sleep some more. And yeah - if I do the 24HOGG i'm gonna have to cut back on the coffee again. But I think I may have had an idea for the first day of class. Something unique, different and while maybe not interactive, perhaps, still fun.
Definitely not looking forward to bundling up, maybe it has warmed up a little? A couple degrees by now?
Best not put off the inevitable any longer.
heddwch
G
Monday, December 16, 2019
And it is over
All done, season #41 is in the books for me. There's some IG content up stories mostly... i'm wrecked but feeling better than I did at the seattle show... I've managed to let the preoccupation of what i have to deal with slip out of my mind.
Watching CX nats was a good distraction, managed to catch the live stream of the women's race between unloading and sound check at Mt Vernon.
Only three shows, seems kind of a short visit. Marshall already left and reported that the airport was full of bikes being loaded on to planes.
Wonder who is on his flight. But then again maybe no one I know. Still at odds with the whole balance of it all. Questions like "what are you doing for new year's? are you going to friends houses kind of traddition?" yeah guess that's sort of it, i don't have friends. And that's just how it is I guess. I know lots of people, but how many friends do i have? That's a good question.
Not sure how to approach the whole next week, still running through how to make January work. The talk among my brothers is a return trip in January. I did see my dad for about 15 min on Sunday, maybe the timing will work and I can come back out before classes make everything crazy.
I'm not looking forward to the red-eye tonight. Not at all. But it will be good to get back into the old routine, or at least somewhat normal sleep and food schedule. I could def use a decent meal. Last night was nice but Morgan and S cook simple food w/o sauce, although there's something fun about having a bit of smoked chicken that they raised and then some of the brussels sprouts from their garden and carrots and parsnips also from it.
Borderline sick, of course, just on the edge. Hopefully I can recover once I'm back.
Amor Fati.
Work in progress...
Might try and make it to the beach before leaving.
Hoping this red-eye is better than the one in march, can't be worse than the catastrophe of the one in '13...
heddwch
g
Watching CX nats was a good distraction, managed to catch the live stream of the women's race between unloading and sound check at Mt Vernon.
Only three shows, seems kind of a short visit. Marshall already left and reported that the airport was full of bikes being loaded on to planes.
Wonder who is on his flight. But then again maybe no one I know. Still at odds with the whole balance of it all. Questions like "what are you doing for new year's? are you going to friends houses kind of traddition?" yeah guess that's sort of it, i don't have friends. And that's just how it is I guess. I know lots of people, but how many friends do i have? That's a good question.
Not sure how to approach the whole next week, still running through how to make January work. The talk among my brothers is a return trip in January. I did see my dad for about 15 min on Sunday, maybe the timing will work and I can come back out before classes make everything crazy.
I'm not looking forward to the red-eye tonight. Not at all. But it will be good to get back into the old routine, or at least somewhat normal sleep and food schedule. I could def use a decent meal. Last night was nice but Morgan and S cook simple food w/o sauce, although there's something fun about having a bit of smoked chicken that they raised and then some of the brussels sprouts from their garden and carrots and parsnips also from it.
Borderline sick, of course, just on the edge. Hopefully I can recover once I'm back.
Amor Fati.
Work in progress...
Might try and make it to the beach before leaving.
Hoping this red-eye is better than the one in march, can't be worse than the catastrophe of the one in '13...
heddwch
g
Saturday, December 14, 2019
another/annual yuletide interlude
back on the ferry…
was brushing my teeth this morning and I had a clarification… I want a vacation, one that is something that isn’t burdened by others, time to just sleep, read, ride a bike, not worry about doing anything, just relaxing.
There was another thing, and I can’t fucking remember and it was pretty close to as big of a holy shit that’s accurate…
how rarely have i been able to say concretely something off what I want…
and now I can’t keep writing because the ferry is docking.
maybe more later
And as we were driving away in the insane Seattle traffic trying to figure out where we going because the Ferry schedule doesn’t mesh well with getting into the venue (in the venue now).
I want a car that I don’t have to think/worry about.
two things… pretty simple, but loaded with guilt because they are selfish…
yeah the car is still hanging over my head, even from here, even in the midst of all this.
i wrote four words earlier today - after the tooth brushing realization…
Strangeness… Lost?
Confusion… Sadness?
Confusion… Sadness?
Yuletide is insane, as always. And even with K here it is even more alone/isolated. Kind of the not sure why I’m bothering. Very much close to the whats the point, but there is a point and it makes sense it just doesn’t feel like it now and I’m obviously not in great headspace. Taking a few selfish minutes to sit and drink coffee and not do anything but write. “What are you doing Geoffrey?” “nothing” “Is it related to Yuletide?” “no” “Why not there’s lots to do.”
So yeah - guess I’d better get off my ass before everyone keeps yelling at me.
I’m trying to say “Thank you for your patience with me.” Instead of “sorry for seeming so unhelpful.” or something - the mental tweak - even when i’m not feeling awesome - from appologizing to appreciating.
Thursday, December 12, 2019
So, let me tell you about
what happened on the way to the PacNW.
If you've been following along, well, there was the NBX GP CX over the weekend, and then the non-alcoholic hangover. In the haze of which I totally missed calling my dad on his 81st birthday, but then he didn't call me on mine and we're both pretty indifferent about them. And shit at work went crazy, and then I woke up early Wed morning after not much sleep. Had taken the violin to work on Tuesday so I could ride in with the travel stuff. Flying to Seattle for the concerts out of Boston and needing to get the train before I could get a ride, so bike is at office.
Got there - changed a bulb in the ultramicrotome and walked to the train station. Backpack and violin. Damn my foot hurt.
Cued up an audio book, sat on the train, put the violin in the luggage rack above the seat and made a mental note not to forget it. I was getting off on Back Bay to get the Logan Express bus to the airport. Got off at Back Bay, wandered around looking for the bus, couldn't find it or signs for it.
And then I realized I was missing something.
I left my violin in the overhead luggage rack on the train.
It was the start of rush hour in Back Bay and I was completely leveled. Fuck. Oh. Fuck.
MTBA desk pointed me to a guy in a purple vest, he was extremely helpful, got me pointed to the T to get to South station to hopefully meet up with it there, maybe they conductors had taken it to lost and found or I can at least file the claim and all that).
Well he swipes me into the orange line, I head down, get on going to Oak something, get off at Downtown Crossing, head over to the Red line and get on the Ashmont train (packed train), get off at south station. call the lost and found number, the nice lady says to talk to the info booth by the women's restroom, I run up there, he was completely unhelpful and suggest I talk to the lost and found, i head over there and the women says "did you just call?" yes, I explained I was hoping to find the train and figure out if I could get it before flying out. She wasn't sure where the train had gone. After a bit and taking my name and number she directed me to track 5, talk to the conductor and go ahead and look.
Ran there - train was leaving soon and filling up. Conductor said, go ahead and look, but the configuration looked wrong, she said, 'well i brought this from the yard empty, probably not on here' she didn't know what happened to the train from Providence but she told me to talk to the Station Master, the mirror glass room over in the corner. I run over there.
South station train rail is covered in salt and sand and packed with people, aka big Gronk size dude with a backpack sprinting around ain't a big deal, right?
Eventually the guy opens the side window and says "this isn't info" I explain what happened " I got offo at back bay w/o my violin, need it to fly to seattle in less than 2 hours, is train 824 from PVD still in the station, if not where and what do I do." He goes and checks the computer monitor and stuff, comes back...
"Track 6, leaves in 15 min, that should be the train." I run back, I found the car combo, I was in a double in front of a single car, and found it. The conductor for this train was ambivalent, but it was there, the violin was motherfucking THERE
This all elapsed over 45-50 min.
But that was A LOT of running/sprinting, massive panic, phone dying, texting kid (kid was SUPER helpful - aka boston native almost after college w/o car in BOS) and finally I made it to the Silver Line... and took a breath.
Got on the SL1, headed to B2, Lost and Found ticket lady called me back, checked in, i explain and thanked her profusely.
Got to the airport, found the security line - noticed i was approaching the priority/pre-screened line and then the TSA lady said - just get in line here - it isn't busy. Made it through security but I had to put the violin on one x-ray and the other stuff in the other line and kept asking the TSA agents to remind me to get both things...
and I got it, got some food, got to the gate... ate... and got on the plane.
Way in the back, economy boarding, lucky to find one overhead bin with space for the violin, got to the seats, K and I were in the middle and window. Doors close, taxi starting and Flight attendant said K could move over if they wanted. The ONLY empty seat on the whole plane was our row.
Headwinds meant we flew way north and got in a bit late but we managed it, got off the flight, my brother picked us up and made it to Olalla just after Midnight.
Total fucking panic that ended up alright in the end.
My brother asked our mother if I had told her about leaving my violin on the train (without giving away the ending) and she went into a massive panic. Flashbacks from my sister left her violin all over the place. So I had to tell her the story twice, once to get to the point to say I had it, then the second time so she could listen to the actual story.
Woke up this morning with a big weight off my shoulder.
Tired, exhausted, Almost just made coffee and went back to sleep, but got up.
Lots to do, nearly non-stop till heading to the airport on Monday night.
But had to share the story of me almost losing my violin.
while putting my feet up for two seconds (the bruised mid-foot got extra fucked up running all over Back Bay and South Station).
So if you are out here for CXNats - buy tickets to the Tacoma show, support the arts and come see me on stage and say hi before you leave, even if you leave at intermission.
#ornot
I watched the course preview video - so glad I'm not racing there, drap race, all pedaling, nothing technical, okay the downhill chute looks sketchy but not bad.
okay - back to the crazy
heddwch
G
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
read something else
Something that someone hopefully got paid to write... it is good...
https://cyclingtips.com/2019/12/the-lost-and-the-saved/
but as much as I completely subscribe to that - it can also be extremely isolating when you're not there, or when you're there and you know as soon as you leave, you're alone again. Riding or driving home from the race or the group ride alone.
But it is very good while it is going on but sometimes as the observer, the watcher, the one who sees more than they should, it is very much a knife without a handle. There's no safe consistent way to use it, you're going to get cut...
the only other writing I found to read in the open tabs is this:
https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/
i got caught up there - but couldn't deal with the fake news post - too much inside stuff?
seeing Seth and those on the twitters talk about training. seeing people post and then talk about recovery times. Like at the start line, "this is telling me I need 49 hours of recovery"
do i need to start using all those metrics? probably not.
am i aware of them more than i should for someone who doesn't? yeah story of my life.
But that's all good. It is good.
KF gave me a good old Mennen Skin Bracer slap up side the head in an email after he read the last post. So, yeah I'll keep pushing and plugging along.
Violin is just out of tune, the bow needs to be re-haired but it doesn't look like it needs it (from a distance). Bridge hasn't fallen off. I'll let Brittany tweak the angle of it after it gets pulled around from tuning it back up.
Hey at least I managed to eat lunch before 3pm today. Granted I was ready to eat it at 10 and waited.
Little things...
heddwch
G
https://cyclingtips.com/2019/12/the-lost-and-the-saved/
but as much as I completely subscribe to that - it can also be extremely isolating when you're not there, or when you're there and you know as soon as you leave, you're alone again. Riding or driving home from the race or the group ride alone.
But it is very good while it is going on but sometimes as the observer, the watcher, the one who sees more than they should, it is very much a knife without a handle. There's no safe consistent way to use it, you're going to get cut...
the only other writing I found to read in the open tabs is this:
https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/
i got caught up there - but couldn't deal with the fake news post - too much inside stuff?
seeing Seth and those on the twitters talk about training. seeing people post and then talk about recovery times. Like at the start line, "this is telling me I need 49 hours of recovery"
do i need to start using all those metrics? probably not.
am i aware of them more than i should for someone who doesn't? yeah story of my life.
But that's all good. It is good.
KF gave me a good old Mennen Skin Bracer slap up side the head in an email after he read the last post. So, yeah I'll keep pushing and plugging along.
Violin is just out of tune, the bow needs to be re-haired but it doesn't look like it needs it (from a distance). Bridge hasn't fallen off. I'll let Brittany tweak the angle of it after it gets pulled around from tuning it back up.
Hey at least I managed to eat lunch before 3pm today. Granted I was ready to eat it at 10 and waited.
Little things...
heddwch
G
another hollow one
huh?
Well, when you live in the smallest state in the country, and are the only one in your age group to start the race that is designated as the state championship, well, all you have to do is finish to 'win'
sort of like the Freetown 50. All I had to do to win was finish.
The lowest of bars set. Sure there's always a DNF or a DNS and I beat all those people. I haven't dug through the stats, or looked to see if it is still possible to do so. Used to be able to see who is registered to race in the state by age group and ranking and all that. Don't care enough to find out how many more people are in my 5 year age group.
Probably it is only me that feels worse for "winning" ... 44th/48 both days doesn't seem like winning. Consistent. Both days racing the Singlespeed in the geared bike race. Feeling frustrated that I'm sucking so much but it was fun racing, even if I wasn't anywhere near where I feel I could be. And having the UCI juniors start almost 2 minutes before us on the same course is pretty close to assured getting lapped. More of the 40+ guys lapped me on Sunday than Saturday.
Well, when you live in the smallest state in the country, and are the only one in your age group to start the race that is designated as the state championship, well, all you have to do is finish to 'win'
sort of like the Freetown 50. All I had to do to win was finish.
The lowest of bars set. Sure there's always a DNF or a DNS and I beat all those people. I haven't dug through the stats, or looked to see if it is still possible to do so. Used to be able to see who is registered to race in the state by age group and ranking and all that. Don't care enough to find out how many more people are in my 5 year age group.
Probably it is only me that feels worse for "winning" ... 44th/48 both days doesn't seem like winning. Consistent. Both days racing the Singlespeed in the geared bike race. Feeling frustrated that I'm sucking so much but it was fun racing, even if I wasn't anywhere near where I feel I could be. And having the UCI juniors start almost 2 minutes before us on the same course is pretty close to assured getting lapped. More of the 40+ guys lapped me on Sunday than Saturday.
Wednesday, December 04, 2019
pile it all on
ticking things off the list- in a major tsunami of productivity I managed to get just about all of what I needed to get done that has been bugging me.. even called the garage to schedule the inspection for Friday morning after dropping the kid off at school.
I know what time to show up at Goddard Park on Thursday to set everything up. Hoping the ground will be thawed out enough to put stakes in, both wooden ones and step ones. Cleared a huge backlog of emails off.
There's still a pile of forms to fill out to get quotes for the Win 7-10 transition for all the various Zeiss systems. It is a 4 page very detailed system report. Will take a while - no time today for that.
Riding home last night was made 'fun' with the headlight that decided to stop working. Bontrager let me down. It was late and the Planet Bike Blaze I have didn't fit well on the big fat bar (34.8) so I didn't put it on last night. I should have. At least there was some good contrast on the ground in the dark with all the snow. And the places that weren't snow were probably ice and not seeing that it was ice was good because I didn't crash.
Rode for a very long time in a quad track, you'd think I'd be fine with a bridge that is 3-4 times wider, but nope #mental.
Rode the Stache in again today. Much faster. legs are feeling much more tired. Hoping for a lot of melt. I should have plowed the path yesterday but too busy, and also tired. Long day.
Hoping the bontrager light works but at least I put new batteries in the Planet Bike light and got it mounted to the bars.
Def need to work on the light situation, esp if I'm going to do the whole 24HOGG this summer.
This mid-fat stache is awesome in this stuff. As long as there is some texture to the ice it has pretty solid traction. I haven't put air in the tires since the last ride. Guessing the pressure is just over 10psi, maybe just under. It is soft but not that soft. BUT SO GRIPPY. The ruts I made are a problem, but not nearly the same problem as with the other bikes.
And the frozen footprints are just bumpy not death grip terrifying and teeth rattling. Like legit EASY button on this bike. Slower yes, but the tire width and contact patch and all that make the riding much safer and easier. Hopefully I can get home tonight and still say the same thing.
Looking at the deals on the new phones, well they def did go away. Everything is full price, but who knows perhaps the car is going to require a significant cash injection to pass inspection.
I was going to make some more coffee - then i was going to go upstairs to get some more coffee but I'm going to see if I can hold off... i don't need any more. I just want more. Discipline. At least I managed to eat lunch today. Sure it was at 2pm but that's better than not eating it at all yesterday.
And I'm supposed to race on Saturday and Sunday. OOF - gonna be tough. Gonna be STUPID cold on Saturday... sunday might be a bit better but still, it will be exciting. I'd bring the puppies with me but too cold for them to hang out all day.
i even managed to get the artwork submitted.
feeling good about it - the list of stuff not done and the anxiety about the inspection test are still there, but lessened. Almost bearable.
But now I should leave. Should go out and brave the dark, and the cold, and the melted? snow and ice?
till next time
heddwch
G
I know what time to show up at Goddard Park on Thursday to set everything up. Hoping the ground will be thawed out enough to put stakes in, both wooden ones and step ones. Cleared a huge backlog of emails off.
There's still a pile of forms to fill out to get quotes for the Win 7-10 transition for all the various Zeiss systems. It is a 4 page very detailed system report. Will take a while - no time today for that.
Riding home last night was made 'fun' with the headlight that decided to stop working. Bontrager let me down. It was late and the Planet Bike Blaze I have didn't fit well on the big fat bar (34.8) so I didn't put it on last night. I should have. At least there was some good contrast on the ground in the dark with all the snow. And the places that weren't snow were probably ice and not seeing that it was ice was good because I didn't crash.
Rode for a very long time in a quad track, you'd think I'd be fine with a bridge that is 3-4 times wider, but nope #mental.
Rode the Stache in again today. Much faster. legs are feeling much more tired. Hoping for a lot of melt. I should have plowed the path yesterday but too busy, and also tired. Long day.
Hoping the bontrager light works but at least I put new batteries in the Planet Bike light and got it mounted to the bars.
Def need to work on the light situation, esp if I'm going to do the whole 24HOGG this summer.
This mid-fat stache is awesome in this stuff. As long as there is some texture to the ice it has pretty solid traction. I haven't put air in the tires since the last ride. Guessing the pressure is just over 10psi, maybe just under. It is soft but not that soft. BUT SO GRIPPY. The ruts I made are a problem, but not nearly the same problem as with the other bikes.
And the frozen footprints are just bumpy not death grip terrifying and teeth rattling. Like legit EASY button on this bike. Slower yes, but the tire width and contact patch and all that make the riding much safer and easier. Hopefully I can get home tonight and still say the same thing.
Looking at the deals on the new phones, well they def did go away. Everything is full price, but who knows perhaps the car is going to require a significant cash injection to pass inspection.
I was going to make some more coffee - then i was going to go upstairs to get some more coffee but I'm going to see if I can hold off... i don't need any more. I just want more. Discipline. At least I managed to eat lunch today. Sure it was at 2pm but that's better than not eating it at all yesterday.
And I'm supposed to race on Saturday and Sunday. OOF - gonna be tough. Gonna be STUPID cold on Saturday... sunday might be a bit better but still, it will be exciting. I'd bring the puppies with me but too cold for them to hang out all day.
i even managed to get the artwork submitted.
feeling good about it - the list of stuff not done and the anxiety about the inspection test are still there, but lessened. Almost bearable.
But now I should leave. Should go out and brave the dark, and the cold, and the melted? snow and ice?
till next time
heddwch
G
Tuesday, December 03, 2019
no lunch
working straight through the day - munched a handful or two of those WF brand Peanut butter filled pretzels. Oh so good. Not quite food though.
had a good ride - slow one - in the snow. That was pretty awesome though. Only nearly wiped out once, on the angled shoulder coming off the bridge on the PVD side, the "curb" on the path is a 30-35 degree angle and well - not much traction and weight and even with the contact patch it was enough to push the front wheel not where it should have gone, but with enough control that i could correct, and not eat shit.
Much more relaxing/safe riding this than the CX or Crossrip bikes. It doesn't' cut to the pavement but on the mediumly packed stuff that's a good thing. And the unpacked denser stuff isn't deep enough to be much more than just slow. We'll see what it is like on the way home.
Also the quad tracks are on part of the path. They are impossible to ride in with the 35-38c tires but deliciously easy with the 3" ones.
Down side is the time- an hour to get in to work. BUT on the bonus side: an hour of pedaling with a bit more effort to start and end the day.
Snow.
Fun stuff - everyone else had a canceled day, not me.
Okay - brief break is done. 5 mins of decompression over. Back to running around.
heddwch
G
had a good ride - slow one - in the snow. That was pretty awesome though. Only nearly wiped out once, on the angled shoulder coming off the bridge on the PVD side, the "curb" on the path is a 30-35 degree angle and well - not much traction and weight and even with the contact patch it was enough to push the front wheel not where it should have gone, but with enough control that i could correct, and not eat shit.
Much more relaxing/safe riding this than the CX or Crossrip bikes. It doesn't' cut to the pavement but on the mediumly packed stuff that's a good thing. And the unpacked denser stuff isn't deep enough to be much more than just slow. We'll see what it is like on the way home.
Also the quad tracks are on part of the path. They are impossible to ride in with the 35-38c tires but deliciously easy with the 3" ones.
Down side is the time- an hour to get in to work. BUT on the bonus side: an hour of pedaling with a bit more effort to start and end the day.
Snow.
Fun stuff - everyone else had a canceled day, not me.
Okay - brief break is done. 5 mins of decompression over. Back to running around.
heddwch
G
Monday, December 02, 2019
blindsided
by one of the most empathetic, intelligent and quietly intense students just now. Enough so that i'm putting off eating lunch to get the emotions out of me. Why? Not sure.
It was just so random but so nice, they were here with their new S.O. their life changed dramatically a while back when the marriage right out of college ended. High school sweethearts that went to the same university drifted apart as one did law school and the other tried to make it work.
Life is a strange path.
They made an observation about my describing the next week or so, they said I say it all with such dread and weight. It is a good point. But I still haven't gotten the car inspected, and may not get that done before I get back from Seattle. And that will have to be okay, won't it. Accept it GeWilli, stop stressing about it. Let that shit go, 'you got this'
And then there's the whole new phone anxiety. Also no need for it to be there, just more me making it bigger than it should. But then deciding what to do is paralyzing. To take advantage of the cyber monday deals of which they seem to be the same as the black friday ones and maybe that means they are just normal deals, but then if I wait until tomorrow and the deal goes away then what. Phone works, but kind of randomly dies somewhere south of 50%, usually around 39 and when activating both processor and other heavy electron use functions. AKA it shuts off and unless I have a power source on hand it is dead. Not the best for functioning. I had the reliance but use it for everything. The pixel 3a and the 4 (not the XLs) are the only two i'm considering. I guess I could look for a 3 or a 2, used/preowned but the cost difference is marginal compared to the 3a and the 4 is so much better. This original one has worked really well. Battery guys won't touch it - OLED screen has to be removed to get to the battery and too much of a risk of breaking it.
So yeah - these things shouldn't occupy my mind, or shouldn't occupy and encumber my emotional state...
and of course I started this almost 6 hours ago.
didn't get anywhere near everything done today, esp in prep for tomorrow's big training day.
But hopefully what I got done was enough, because I couldn't really do anything else.. time to ride home in the dark and i think the snow.
should be fun - even if it might be slow.
heddwch
G
It was just so random but so nice, they were here with their new S.O. their life changed dramatically a while back when the marriage right out of college ended. High school sweethearts that went to the same university drifted apart as one did law school and the other tried to make it work.
Life is a strange path.
They made an observation about my describing the next week or so, they said I say it all with such dread and weight. It is a good point. But I still haven't gotten the car inspected, and may not get that done before I get back from Seattle. And that will have to be okay, won't it. Accept it GeWilli, stop stressing about it. Let that shit go, 'you got this'
And then there's the whole new phone anxiety. Also no need for it to be there, just more me making it bigger than it should. But then deciding what to do is paralyzing. To take advantage of the cyber monday deals of which they seem to be the same as the black friday ones and maybe that means they are just normal deals, but then if I wait until tomorrow and the deal goes away then what. Phone works, but kind of randomly dies somewhere south of 50%, usually around 39 and when activating both processor and other heavy electron use functions. AKA it shuts off and unless I have a power source on hand it is dead. Not the best for functioning. I had the reliance but use it for everything. The pixel 3a and the 4 (not the XLs) are the only two i'm considering. I guess I could look for a 3 or a 2, used/preowned but the cost difference is marginal compared to the 3a and the 4 is so much better. This original one has worked really well. Battery guys won't touch it - OLED screen has to be removed to get to the battery and too much of a risk of breaking it.
So yeah - these things shouldn't occupy my mind, or shouldn't occupy and encumber my emotional state...
and of course I started this almost 6 hours ago.
didn't get anywhere near everything done today, esp in prep for tomorrow's big training day.
But hopefully what I got done was enough, because I couldn't really do anything else.. time to ride home in the dark and i think the snow.
should be fun - even if it might be slow.
heddwch
G
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
deflated
pretty sure all I've found is industrial waste... anthropogenic source... not cosmic
and pretty sure there's nothing from outer space in all the crap i collected and cleaned and sorted.
And I was petting the dog this morning and the middle of my back is borderline locked up, has been since... deepest breath and it hurts, dull persistent ache otherwise.
Fun.
I did order a couple of the stardust books to have, maybe something will turn up. Maybe I'll just need to collect more. It isn't unlike looking for cool diatoms I suppose.
But I'm still deflated. gonna try one more imaging session today...
not sure i'll get out of here before the rain - or the dark.
at least I remembered to plug in the headlight. Was down almost empty last night after the long ride home.
Doesn't like to charge very quickly plugged into the computer...
sigh...
gonna go see if i can get excited about some of this magnetic dirt from the roof...
heddwch
G
and pretty sure there's nothing from outer space in all the crap i collected and cleaned and sorted.
And I was petting the dog this morning and the middle of my back is borderline locked up, has been since... deepest breath and it hurts, dull persistent ache otherwise.
Fun.
I did order a couple of the stardust books to have, maybe something will turn up. Maybe I'll just need to collect more. It isn't unlike looking for cool diatoms I suppose.
But I'm still deflated. gonna try one more imaging session today...
not sure i'll get out of here before the rain - or the dark.
at least I remembered to plug in the headlight. Was down almost empty last night after the long ride home.
Doesn't like to charge very quickly plugged into the computer...
sigh...
gonna go see if i can get excited about some of this magnetic dirt from the roof...
heddwch
G
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
finally
got on the SEM - did something that was exciting. went to the roof, gathered some stuff - might have found a micrometeorite. Check the Nanoscape instagram (or twitter or tumblr)
will write more later - had 5 min to image before heading off and meeting up with Il Bruce and GG the squirrel. A bit of a blinky ride. doubled the mileage home and had a good chat with them.
was told i'm a real life caricature of my online persona... i'll take that,
This was good... the drama this summer because of it not so much.
Sort of hey well yeah no you can't have your GF on the ride but this dude can have his wife and kid follow him in an RV... film was good, and yeah maybe someday. The route goes past my dad's old place. Sort of. Goes through a place where we went up and cut down beetle kill pine for firewood.
Finished Gideon the Ninth last night. Didn't plan to but it was like a slow building tsunami. could. not. put. it. down... at the end...
So good. go read it. I'm going to be one of the few at work tomorrow, but that's okay - there's a pile of shit to do and maybe i'll be able to fit in a few imaging sessions and really dial in the conditions for the sample. I really wish I had an ultra sonic cleaner though. And an x-ray detector.
it was a pizza night - i got home late - and just worked on the Nanoscape, then watched this... now? Might go get in bed... yeah - this early. low coffee, not much sleep, sleep sounds good!
i'm tired - no need to stay up, well besides the rest of the stuff that needs to be done, but nothing NEEDS to be done...
i did sign up for Secret Squirrel so i am racing saturday...
also if anyone tells me 9/16 is fine for a 14mm or 7/16 is the same as 11 i'm gonna get a bit pissed off. sure - close enough but not for my mechanic ocd
heddwch
G
will write more later - had 5 min to image before heading off and meeting up with Il Bruce and GG the squirrel. A bit of a blinky ride. doubled the mileage home and had a good chat with them.
was told i'm a real life caricature of my online persona... i'll take that,
Sort of hey well yeah no you can't have your GF on the ride but this dude can have his wife and kid follow him in an RV... film was good, and yeah maybe someday. The route goes past my dad's old place. Sort of. Goes through a place where we went up and cut down beetle kill pine for firewood.
Finished Gideon the Ninth last night. Didn't plan to but it was like a slow building tsunami. could. not. put. it. down... at the end...
So good. go read it. I'm going to be one of the few at work tomorrow, but that's okay - there's a pile of shit to do and maybe i'll be able to fit in a few imaging sessions and really dial in the conditions for the sample. I really wish I had an ultra sonic cleaner though. And an x-ray detector.
it was a pizza night - i got home late - and just worked on the Nanoscape, then watched this... now? Might go get in bed... yeah - this early. low coffee, not much sleep, sleep sounds good!
i'm tired - no need to stay up, well besides the rest of the stuff that needs to be done, but nothing NEEDS to be done...
i did sign up for Secret Squirrel so i am racing saturday...
also if anyone tells me 9/16 is fine for a 14mm or 7/16 is the same as 11 i'm gonna get a bit pissed off. sure - close enough but not for my mechanic ocd
heddwch
G
Monday, November 25, 2019
I'm not a 4am blogger
Like some people are.
I don't have an enormous following like others:
Not sure if the embed works and yeah Stevil has a blog but the IG seems to have more timely updates, but fewer words, as IG should be.
My IG has turned into Bikes and bike path commute images... I guess it always kind of has been that...
Seth and Steve sell shit, subscriptions and merch respectively. I just suck mindless time out of my day and fortunately only a few of y'all's. Not many readers here. And I kind of am okay/like that.
I rolled into the weekend ready to get shit done. Okay that's a lie. I collapsed into it. Wrung thing and a dried up husk. KMC was an option, the fee changed that before I committed and then the car and other stuff came up and well good thing.
Saturday was rough, Coffee, but out of coffee, had enough to get started in the morning but by the time I made it back home to make more the lag had kick started a headache.
I bruised and cut myself and strained a forearm muscle trying to remove the rear O2 sensor. Shit is rusted the fuck in. Failed on the car fixing. Got the Erg done, but should have bought new elastics while i was at it, now I gotta order those and pay the extra shipping/price for being an idiot.
Headache all day, felt like shit, didn't ride. Rain started overnight Saturday and poured all day Sunday. Dirt church was cancelled. I still had a headache, slept like crap and said fuck it and mailed it in for the day. Got up, made coffee. Drank coffee in bed. Made more coffee, got back in bed, read some of the book. Made some food, started watching movie, gave up on the movie, read book. Made more food. Never GOT DRESSED. Sweatpants and a bathrobe were the uniform of the day. Made more coffee.
Watched football. Finished coffee at 5pm and at that point the headache went away. It lingered all fucking day. Made dinner. Watched more football. Did absolutely jack fucking shit all day.
Needed it.
Still tired, but feeling a lot better. I was a physical wreck. I'd better register for Secret Squirrel before I forget. But it was good that I didn't race or ride. Not sure why but I'm just dragging.
But still dragging one foot in front of the other.
At some point it won't feel like i'm wearing concrete shoes.
Chased a single speed rabbit this morning. Dude on a nice Ti one headed south, then a bit later he went past me going north. me in the Mt Khakis, they ain't great for pedaling fast in, but have good leg compression - aka my quads don't really fit in them. I didn't make it quite up to speed to catch a draft but upped my tempo enough that he was only going just slightly faster than I was.
I'm sitting here looking at December and am totally overwhelmed. But there's no choice but to get through it.
And still have to work on the course plan. And get the car inspected. And hope it passes. Or just get a new car. Still really like the idea of an electric car for most everything we do. But they are so expensive. And that should tell you what my perspective is. Maybe just need to find another cheap used Volvo... ugh... I really do hate cars and how dependent we are on them and how much $$ they suck...
Well - this has been a long time in writing - busy, would be nice if the short week was as relaxed as lots of people are saying theirs are. Full speed ahead.
MOVE
heddwch
G
I don't have an enormous following like others:
Not sure if the embed works and yeah Stevil has a blog but the IG seems to have more timely updates, but fewer words, as IG should be.
My IG has turned into Bikes and bike path commute images... I guess it always kind of has been that...
Seth and Steve sell shit, subscriptions and merch respectively. I just suck mindless time out of my day and fortunately only a few of y'all's. Not many readers here. And I kind of am okay/like that.
I rolled into the weekend ready to get shit done. Okay that's a lie. I collapsed into it. Wrung thing and a dried up husk. KMC was an option, the fee changed that before I committed and then the car and other stuff came up and well good thing.
Saturday was rough, Coffee, but out of coffee, had enough to get started in the morning but by the time I made it back home to make more the lag had kick started a headache.
I bruised and cut myself and strained a forearm muscle trying to remove the rear O2 sensor. Shit is rusted the fuck in. Failed on the car fixing. Got the Erg done, but should have bought new elastics while i was at it, now I gotta order those and pay the extra shipping/price for being an idiot.
Headache all day, felt like shit, didn't ride. Rain started overnight Saturday and poured all day Sunday. Dirt church was cancelled. I still had a headache, slept like crap and said fuck it and mailed it in for the day. Got up, made coffee. Drank coffee in bed. Made more coffee, got back in bed, read some of the book. Made some food, started watching movie, gave up on the movie, read book. Made more food. Never GOT DRESSED. Sweatpants and a bathrobe were the uniform of the day. Made more coffee.
Watched football. Finished coffee at 5pm and at that point the headache went away. It lingered all fucking day. Made dinner. Watched more football. Did absolutely jack fucking shit all day.
Needed it.
Still tired, but feeling a lot better. I was a physical wreck. I'd better register for Secret Squirrel before I forget. But it was good that I didn't race or ride. Not sure why but I'm just dragging.
But still dragging one foot in front of the other.
At some point it won't feel like i'm wearing concrete shoes.
Chased a single speed rabbit this morning. Dude on a nice Ti one headed south, then a bit later he went past me going north. me in the Mt Khakis, they ain't great for pedaling fast in, but have good leg compression - aka my quads don't really fit in them. I didn't make it quite up to speed to catch a draft but upped my tempo enough that he was only going just slightly faster than I was.
I'm sitting here looking at December and am totally overwhelmed. But there's no choice but to get through it.
And still have to work on the course plan. And get the car inspected. And hope it passes. Or just get a new car. Still really like the idea of an electric car for most everything we do. But they are so expensive. And that should tell you what my perspective is. Maybe just need to find another cheap used Volvo... ugh... I really do hate cars and how dependent we are on them and how much $$ they suck...
Well - this has been a long time in writing - busy, would be nice if the short week was as relaxed as lots of people are saying theirs are. Full speed ahead.
MOVE
heddwch
G
Friday, November 22, 2019
Dry and a tailwind
editor's note - or whatever
rain stopped, roads were wet but i stayed dry thanks to fenders
made some dinner, ate, dishes, listened to some George Alan Isakov
but yeah - made it home, and the tailwind was awesome and there were no ninjas on the path, pretty much only one other person out there that i encountered...
quiet night
gotta finish up making this batch of ice cream then fuck it -going to bed
rain stopped, roads were wet but i stayed dry thanks to fenders
made some dinner, ate, dishes, listened to some George Alan Isakov
but yeah - made it home, and the tailwind was awesome and there were no ninjas on the path, pretty much only one other person out there that i encountered...
quiet night
gotta finish up making this batch of ice cream then fuck it -going to bed
Well well
how am i not surprised...
I didn't think it was going to rain today.
I didn't dress to ride in the rain.
I did what I've done all week, except that day it did rain and i brought cycling gear to ride home in...
except I didn't do that today.
these mt khakis are going to be fucking brutal to pedal in once they get soaked.
Perfect cap to the week.
Maybe it will blow over before it is time to leave.
finished that new Amos Decker book... won't post spoilers but it was good. Predictable but not really
didn't read through much new stuff on the tabs no links..
walked into the building only be olefactorily assaulted. Burning/grinding of concrete and steel. Smelled like something caught fire. Been unpleasant today.
Tired. Slept terribly last night for some reason. Perplexing esp since I went way light on the coffee consumption yesterday - no time too busy...
Still out of sorts.
One foot
in
front
of
the
other
SEM is kinda messed up, but still working but not as well as before. Tried to do some imaging, deadline for the Staff show is the 4th. Don't want to miss it this year but don't have anything that I want to print out huge and stuff. AKA still missing that muse, that inspiration. I prep'd samples I'd fixed and run through to 100% ETOH, looked at small selection of them and didn't find anything that made me go "wow cool"
I just put this on to chill and watch while finishing up all the emails and schedule coordination, January is already starting to fill up...
I like the stuff they do, the venues are cool, the DJs and photographers are all awesome. Love the production value increase over the years they've been doing this. Drone work esp has been a huge leap from their first use of it. But that one with the guy out in the salt lake, probably hard to top that both in scenery and music.
But this one with Mathame, beat is just right, I like this - fits, uplifting a bit, perhaps this is the magic rhythm that pumps out a wee bit of them happy chemicals that body makes in response to stuff...
Gonna pause it - grab a late afternoon coffee... then kick back and hope the rain stops soon.
heddwch
G
I didn't think it was going to rain today.
I didn't dress to ride in the rain.
I did what I've done all week, except that day it did rain and i brought cycling gear to ride home in...
except I didn't do that today.
these mt khakis are going to be fucking brutal to pedal in once they get soaked.
Perfect cap to the week.
Maybe it will blow over before it is time to leave.
finished that new Amos Decker book... won't post spoilers but it was good. Predictable but not really
didn't read through much new stuff on the tabs no links..
walked into the building only be olefactorily assaulted. Burning/grinding of concrete and steel. Smelled like something caught fire. Been unpleasant today.
Tired. Slept terribly last night for some reason. Perplexing esp since I went way light on the coffee consumption yesterday - no time too busy...
Still out of sorts.
One foot
in
front
of
the
other
SEM is kinda messed up, but still working but not as well as before. Tried to do some imaging, deadline for the Staff show is the 4th. Don't want to miss it this year but don't have anything that I want to print out huge and stuff. AKA still missing that muse, that inspiration. I prep'd samples I'd fixed and run through to 100% ETOH, looked at small selection of them and didn't find anything that made me go "wow cool"
I just put this on to chill and watch while finishing up all the emails and schedule coordination, January is already starting to fill up...
I like the stuff they do, the venues are cool, the DJs and photographers are all awesome. Love the production value increase over the years they've been doing this. Drone work esp has been a huge leap from their first use of it. But that one with the guy out in the salt lake, probably hard to top that both in scenery and music.
But this one with Mathame, beat is just right, I like this - fits, uplifting a bit, perhaps this is the magic rhythm that pumps out a wee bit of them happy chemicals that body makes in response to stuff...
Gonna pause it - grab a late afternoon coffee... then kick back and hope the rain stops soon.
heddwch
G
Thursday, November 21, 2019
keep on getting back up
"Water's dripping down here in the basement."
Guess I didn't seal it well. Although I can't figure out where the hell it is getting through. Couldn't find a flaw in the caulking. But it is somewhere.
At least it wasn't from the rain. Had dried out before I got in the shower this morning - was wet when i got out.
Drain/faucet/new tile side is totally dry.
Not sure I have the energy to deal with that.
Oh and I forgot to plug my headlight in today. Don't have a battery backup.
Today was a continuation of last night. Non-stop, issue after issue. some issues resolved themselves even after I made sure they were repeatable and had the company person here to help diagnose. Other ones? Couple hours of working with a different field service engineer on a different system put us no closer to a solution than when we started and part of the microscope is still not working. And A THIRD vendor "updated" the firmware and software and managed to wipe everyone's user account settings, two people discovered that today when i was unable to be there in person to set it up.
This is not a normal day in the dungeon.
Not. At. All.
Hell I didn't eat lunch until 3pm. And I didn't even eat breakfast, AND I ate a pretty small dinner portion (needed to make sure there was enough leftovers for the kid so I started small, then waited before going back for more and then just didn't eat anything else).
Now I'm tired, waiting for another couple minutes to hopefully stuff enough electrons into the headlight battery to make it home on low.
Well speaking of electrons, TEM user just had problems using those electrons to visualize stuff.
AND THE ELEVATOR WON'T STOP ALARMING - non-fucking-stop
Not sure what to make for dinner, whenever I make it home. At least it isn't raining...
Well - just noticed - that race with the $10 cover for parking? Dropped it to $5. Interesting.
But now I've got a full plate of shit to do, like work on the car... bike racing takes the backseat now...
I wonder if the light has enough battery to get me home...
I guess I'm supposed to keep going. That's what Seth says. But seriously, who owns a Merckx Leader and sells it... I guess it is just a bike, hanging on to shit too long is dumb. Not everyone needs to have a museum.
Fuck it - it is going to have to have enough light to get me home. Guess I'll find out.
sigh
so it goes, so it goes...
heddwch
G
Guess I didn't seal it well. Although I can't figure out where the hell it is getting through. Couldn't find a flaw in the caulking. But it is somewhere.
At least it wasn't from the rain. Had dried out before I got in the shower this morning - was wet when i got out.
Drain/faucet/new tile side is totally dry.
Not sure I have the energy to deal with that.
Oh and I forgot to plug my headlight in today. Don't have a battery backup.
Today was a continuation of last night. Non-stop, issue after issue. some issues resolved themselves even after I made sure they were repeatable and had the company person here to help diagnose. Other ones? Couple hours of working with a different field service engineer on a different system put us no closer to a solution than when we started and part of the microscope is still not working. And A THIRD vendor "updated" the firmware and software and managed to wipe everyone's user account settings, two people discovered that today when i was unable to be there in person to set it up.
This is not a normal day in the dungeon.
Not. At. All.
Hell I didn't eat lunch until 3pm. And I didn't even eat breakfast, AND I ate a pretty small dinner portion (needed to make sure there was enough leftovers for the kid so I started small, then waited before going back for more and then just didn't eat anything else).
Now I'm tired, waiting for another couple minutes to hopefully stuff enough electrons into the headlight battery to make it home on low.
Well speaking of electrons, TEM user just had problems using those electrons to visualize stuff.
AND THE ELEVATOR WON'T STOP ALARMING - non-fucking-stop
Not sure what to make for dinner, whenever I make it home. At least it isn't raining...
Well - just noticed - that race with the $10 cover for parking? Dropped it to $5. Interesting.
But now I've got a full plate of shit to do, like work on the car... bike racing takes the backseat now...
I wonder if the light has enough battery to get me home...
I guess I'm supposed to keep going. That's what Seth says. But seriously, who owns a Merckx Leader and sells it... I guess it is just a bike, hanging on to shit too long is dumb. Not everyone needs to have a museum.
Fuck it - it is going to have to have enough light to get me home. Guess I'll find out.
sigh
so it goes, so it goes...
heddwch
G
Wednesday, November 20, 2019
other people writing
the rest of the blog world is thin...
people do podcasts...
fuck podcasts
but here's a few from today's reading while eating salad. (can of tuna in EVOO + the last bit of ricotta from making stuffed shells last night with the tahini dressing was pretty fugging good and satisfying - i'm ready for a nap)
From Dirty:
http://drunkcyclist.com/2019/11/19/tuesdays-with-dirty-fall-off-the-cliff/
From Jill:
http://www.jilloutside.com/2019/11/the-goal-keep-moving.html
From Seth (kind of funny how it echos/parallels/relates to Jill's):
https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/2019/11/20/take-a-break/
From Padriag:
http://redkiteprayer.com/2019/11/bike-work/
Now I dunno about you but I didn't start in shops until 1990, and we were still all cassette tapes, Even VPeddler in Michigan didn't do the CD thing. We made mix tapes or listened to the radio. We all had a fucking crazy collection of music, but there was Flat Black and Circular upstairs and I spent a huge pile of my cash from working in the shop on Used CDs. Would go through buying up every CD from the particular band I was digging at the moment. This was before Wiki when you had to fucking work to find the discography. OCD much? maybe.
Right now I can put together a basic hybrid in 20 minutes, that is assuming the disc brakes don't need an intervention and a visit from the Pope to exorcise the demons in them. I like the transatlantic flight thing though. Funny.
Dirty mentioning the SSWC, Derek is over at SSCXWC in Utah or someshit right now. Maybe we can get them here next year. And yeah I'm close to going single speed on the MTB. But not yet.
Lunch is over, time to help run a scope or two.
And to keep consistent - here's what's playing on the "radio" right now
Music... nothing more consistent in my life eh? but always tweaking the playlist...
Go figure..
heddwch
G
people do podcasts...
fuck podcasts
but here's a few from today's reading while eating salad. (can of tuna in EVOO + the last bit of ricotta from making stuffed shells last night with the tahini dressing was pretty fugging good and satisfying - i'm ready for a nap)
From Dirty:
http://drunkcyclist.com/2019/11/19/tuesdays-with-dirty-fall-off-the-cliff/
From Jill:
http://www.jilloutside.com/2019/11/the-goal-keep-moving.html
From Seth (kind of funny how it echos/parallels/relates to Jill's):
https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/2019/11/20/take-a-break/
From Padriag:
http://redkiteprayer.com/2019/11/bike-work/
Now I dunno about you but I didn't start in shops until 1990, and we were still all cassette tapes, Even VPeddler in Michigan didn't do the CD thing. We made mix tapes or listened to the radio. We all had a fucking crazy collection of music, but there was Flat Black and Circular upstairs and I spent a huge pile of my cash from working in the shop on Used CDs. Would go through buying up every CD from the particular band I was digging at the moment. This was before Wiki when you had to fucking work to find the discography. OCD much? maybe.
Right now I can put together a basic hybrid in 20 minutes, that is assuming the disc brakes don't need an intervention and a visit from the Pope to exorcise the demons in them. I like the transatlantic flight thing though. Funny.
Dirty mentioning the SSWC, Derek is over at SSCXWC in Utah or someshit right now. Maybe we can get them here next year. And yeah I'm close to going single speed on the MTB. But not yet.
Lunch is over, time to help run a scope or two.
And to keep consistent - here's what's playing on the "radio" right now
Music... nothing more consistent in my life eh? but always tweaking the playlist...
Go figure..
heddwch
G
Into the Wild...
Is that what I need?
Why bring that up now?
Thanks radio...
Yeah, I've been listening to this song on a few different stations of mine, today I noticed that the cover art was for Into the Wild with that kid sitting on the bus.
I had this page open to write and started looking for an image of a train going off the rails to explain yesterday's post.
Work interrupted. Transitioned into other work when I got back to my desk.
Today is one of those weird limbo days. Two systems with two engineers working on them. It is a catch up on shit kind of day. A day that pushes scheduling into other things but it is what it is.
Maybe this is a better music vid instead of the above.
So yeah, this morning is forced hanging out. I should clean my office/desk... or not... Woke up early... coffee, more coffee...
I started reading Gideon the Ninth. Huge and rave reviews on the socials, library finally got it. I'm reading it. But at the same time an audiobook I'd put on hold came in, been waiting a long time for this one, the eBook has like 50 people waiting for 15 copies (three weeks per person - you do the math) it is the latest book in the Amos Decker installment. Nice and pulpy and all that. But I've been listening to most of them, building in the shop or something so listening to this seems familiar. Listening at 1.4 speed of course. Faster is too chopped, still seems smooth but not as pedestrianly paced as the 1x speed. And a guilty admission: I've been listening while pedaling. Zoned out on autopilot, multi-tasking like only someone with as fucked up a brain as I have can do. Do I remember the ride? Sort of. Snapshots of interactions/awareness, gaps of nothing. I can roll the tape back and pretty much play through it. The couple in the Riverside forest.. tall thin guy and his short wife who are always out birdwatching was carrying an umbrella, I've never seen him carry one before.
Stuff like that but then there's also the book going on in my head.
And now I'm sitting here - being available in case people need something. Trying to avoid going down the route I did yesterday.
Youtube got going on the autoplay - scenes from the movie that I never saw. And of course it brought back all the thoughts that arose from reading the book.
At least it isn't sending me down the other rabbit hole that usually winds up totally derailing me.
Trying to avoid opening that door.
I'm doing fine, okay I'm doing okay, pretty good, functional. The car thing though. Still this lingering pain in the ass. Feel comfortable about the chances of success for fixing the thing, just need the time to make the attempt beyond the investigation. Van did the didn't want to start thing that it hasn't done since I change the plugs. So that was fun this morning. It started but still. Half of me just things E should take one of these cars and trade it in for whatever she wants and wants to drive.
The car thing created a semi-viral tweet - rando people liking it. Not many, but more than normal interaction that was a surprise. And then tehre are all the people who saw it that didn't comment, haven't said anything. And no - def not going to KMC, not with the car issues, and the cost. It was one thing spending $28 to race at Eco-cross, That place has memories, is fun, low key, easy as hell drive...
Of course there's that Impeachment shit going on. I'm getting the basics from twitter unwillingly. People are saying this is the end, yeah right. It ain't gonna change anything. Moscow Mitch ain't changing his tune, the whole lot of them... fuck em. I don't know man, this is fucking painful.
Oh funny bit - put the Rolo 100 on the bike for the commute home. Had the Bontrager on there - turned it on, the bontrager, and it wouldn't turn off. I didn't plan on riding home with both of them on, but I wanted to put the bontrager on a low setting... stuck on Daylight flash your brains out. Fuck. Switch was NOT doing anything. Messed with it and finally got it off at home. I like the Rojo 100, but the bontrager feels more refined, less cheap plasticy. Also slimmer profile. But the flash patterns and brightness of the Rojo are really nice.
Finish up with this song;
because it is playing right now and speaks lots about everything...
best of luck out there - one foot in front of the other... and all that,
heddwch
G
Why bring that up now?
Thanks radio...
Yeah, I've been listening to this song on a few different stations of mine, today I noticed that the cover art was for Into the Wild with that kid sitting on the bus.
I had this page open to write and started looking for an image of a train going off the rails to explain yesterday's post.
Work interrupted. Transitioned into other work when I got back to my desk.
Today is one of those weird limbo days. Two systems with two engineers working on them. It is a catch up on shit kind of day. A day that pushes scheduling into other things but it is what it is.
Maybe this is a better music vid instead of the above.
So yeah, this morning is forced hanging out. I should clean my office/desk... or not... Woke up early... coffee, more coffee...
I started reading Gideon the Ninth. Huge and rave reviews on the socials, library finally got it. I'm reading it. But at the same time an audiobook I'd put on hold came in, been waiting a long time for this one, the eBook has like 50 people waiting for 15 copies (three weeks per person - you do the math) it is the latest book in the Amos Decker installment. Nice and pulpy and all that. But I've been listening to most of them, building in the shop or something so listening to this seems familiar. Listening at 1.4 speed of course. Faster is too chopped, still seems smooth but not as pedestrianly paced as the 1x speed. And a guilty admission: I've been listening while pedaling. Zoned out on autopilot, multi-tasking like only someone with as fucked up a brain as I have can do. Do I remember the ride? Sort of. Snapshots of interactions/awareness, gaps of nothing. I can roll the tape back and pretty much play through it. The couple in the Riverside forest.. tall thin guy and his short wife who are always out birdwatching was carrying an umbrella, I've never seen him carry one before.
Stuff like that but then there's also the book going on in my head.
And now I'm sitting here - being available in case people need something. Trying to avoid going down the route I did yesterday.
Youtube got going on the autoplay - scenes from the movie that I never saw. And of course it brought back all the thoughts that arose from reading the book.
At least it isn't sending me down the other rabbit hole that usually winds up totally derailing me.
Trying to avoid opening that door.
I'm doing fine, okay I'm doing okay, pretty good, functional. The car thing though. Still this lingering pain in the ass. Feel comfortable about the chances of success for fixing the thing, just need the time to make the attempt beyond the investigation. Van did the didn't want to start thing that it hasn't done since I change the plugs. So that was fun this morning. It started but still. Half of me just things E should take one of these cars and trade it in for whatever she wants and wants to drive.
The car thing created a semi-viral tweet - rando people liking it. Not many, but more than normal interaction that was a surprise. And then tehre are all the people who saw it that didn't comment, haven't said anything. And no - def not going to KMC, not with the car issues, and the cost. It was one thing spending $28 to race at Eco-cross, That place has memories, is fun, low key, easy as hell drive...
Of course there's that Impeachment shit going on. I'm getting the basics from twitter unwillingly. People are saying this is the end, yeah right. It ain't gonna change anything. Moscow Mitch ain't changing his tune, the whole lot of them... fuck em. I don't know man, this is fucking painful.
Oh funny bit - put the Rolo 100 on the bike for the commute home. Had the Bontrager on there - turned it on, the bontrager, and it wouldn't turn off. I didn't plan on riding home with both of them on, but I wanted to put the bontrager on a low setting... stuck on Daylight flash your brains out. Fuck. Switch was NOT doing anything. Messed with it and finally got it off at home. I like the Rojo 100, but the bontrager feels more refined, less cheap plasticy. Also slimmer profile. But the flash patterns and brightness of the Rojo are really nice.
Finish up with this song;
because it is playing right now and speaks lots about everything...
best of luck out there - one foot in front of the other... and all that,
heddwch
G
Tuesday, November 19, 2019
yeah they say
Just to slip on the same mistakes and slide right back in
But people say I'm the luckiest man
Yeah they say,
But people say I'm the luckiest man
Yeah they say,
controlling the shit in my brain
I'm amazed at how patient some people are with me but then again I'm also equally amazed at having stupid total situational recall and wondering why I acted the way I did, why I didn't say what I could have, or wanted to or anything else.
A couple specific instances popped up over the last 24hrs. Not sure why, well If I thought about it I could probably tease the thread back to the seed that started it... but no point wouldn't make sense to anyone else.
End result strange.
Better stuff to read:
I'm confused as can be with Stevil's stuff but I'm not him, I don't know him, probably will never meet him or understand but it has been a good read to follow along on this particular journey:
https://allhailtheblackmarket.com/2019/11/beginning-my-ascent-back-to-whatever/
For a long time Chipstick hasn't had anything other than my face at the top of his blog from the last entry. New post is up: https://velocb.blogspot.com/2019/11/putney-rules.html somewhat makes me regret not driving the 150 miles there and back, but only a tiny sliver of regret - the car issues sort of dissolve that. Good read. And yes I'm glad I went once. I don't know if it is worth the trip annually. I don't like VT that much and could care less about fucking mad alchemy at the moment/ever.
Best consistent resonating reading has been coming from Cycling in the south bay. The post about being sober, I think i linked that - if not go dig it up. The one up right now as I'm reading/opening tabs is about being in traffic. https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/2019/11/19/hateful-drivers/
I go back to Solobreak's point about drivers. It is much easier to fixate on the problem ones, the close passers, the aggressive d'bags, the honkers the throwers. He once mentioned look at all the people who give you space, aren't a'holes. So occasionally I like to count those that pass safely, don't pass, or anything that is considerate. Number are always surprisingly good. And this leaves me feeling hopeful for the human race.
DCB called me a ginger, someone else mentioned they are a ginger and have no soul and therefore humor doesn't work, and well I pointed out i'm really only half ginger, red beard...not red head. So therefor i both have a soul and a void where there isn't one. And maybe that makes me feel that darkness, and the void even more strongly. Or explains my fucking weirdness... obs not because souls are a cultural phenomenon to placate the fear that we're just a bag of walking water with a lot of electrical shit happening in a mass of fatty tissue at the apex.
Was feeling better after the hopeful part - thought relaying that FB thing about the no sense of humor and the soul would be good, it put me back in the funk...
Got wet this morning. Didn't ride the e-bike tho, nope. Worked and got wet even though it wasn't raining. Glasses had so much condensation on them that I had to wipe them off (not much improvement). Still just riding in street clothes. Still just putting one foot in front of the other.
The email this morning from the KMC folks got me a bit excited until i read through and finally got to the part about $10/car. Deal breaker. I was already boderline. Lots of reasons, well established. I supported that race while it was here in PVD for years, days and days of hard labor, through the easy smooth Tom Stevens years to the first couple with the new course folks. In person support and media support while they worked with the city and all... They lowered the prices, cut it down to one day, there's a singlespeed race, weather is going to be wet and cold and should be fun, but driving there sucks in good weather. It is a fucking awesome place to ride to, terrible to drive to from my house. As a fence sitter trying to decide where to race this weekend, that $10 pushes me off the fence back to the side of not racing... I feel bad about that, it isn't a good feeling having something so trivial as $10 pushing me in that direction but $50 to race? It really isn't that much, but it is just that tiny bit too much.
And yeah that didn't help much either.
And the elevator is fucking broken and alarming, beeping, then annoying alarm, then quiet then beeping then alarm... NON STOP - and then it is quiet for a bit. Randomly starts up again AND I AM OUT OF COFFEE, don't want to make another pot because that would be bad but I'm tired and not feeling well and coffee is the only thing I have left.
Not true - I have plenty of other stuff left. But coffee helps.
SEM is down, being rebuilt. Here to support and help the engineer, although he doesn't need help. at the moment. Kind of want to take images - find something new to look at on there. No inspiration. No muse.
Got the new Planet Bike Rojo 100 in the mail last night - will try that out. Gonna put that on the bike. Should be fun, nice and small. USB c recharging plug nice modes.
writing might have been a bad idea today. But I had all the tabs open (links above) when I opened this up to start - best intentions. Oh well.
heddwch
G
And to think, things have been really good lately in my brain... fuuuuuuuck
A couple specific instances popped up over the last 24hrs. Not sure why, well If I thought about it I could probably tease the thread back to the seed that started it... but no point wouldn't make sense to anyone else.
End result strange.
Better stuff to read:
I'm confused as can be with Stevil's stuff but I'm not him, I don't know him, probably will never meet him or understand but it has been a good read to follow along on this particular journey:
https://allhailtheblackmarket.com/2019/11/beginning-my-ascent-back-to-whatever/
For a long time Chipstick hasn't had anything other than my face at the top of his blog from the last entry. New post is up: https://velocb.blogspot.com/2019/11/putney-rules.html somewhat makes me regret not driving the 150 miles there and back, but only a tiny sliver of regret - the car issues sort of dissolve that. Good read. And yes I'm glad I went once. I don't know if it is worth the trip annually. I don't like VT that much and could care less about fucking mad alchemy at the moment/ever.
Best consistent resonating reading has been coming from Cycling in the south bay. The post about being sober, I think i linked that - if not go dig it up. The one up right now as I'm reading/opening tabs is about being in traffic. https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/2019/11/19/hateful-drivers/
I go back to Solobreak's point about drivers. It is much easier to fixate on the problem ones, the close passers, the aggressive d'bags, the honkers the throwers. He once mentioned look at all the people who give you space, aren't a'holes. So occasionally I like to count those that pass safely, don't pass, or anything that is considerate. Number are always surprisingly good. And this leaves me feeling hopeful for the human race.
DCB called me a ginger, someone else mentioned they are a ginger and have no soul and therefore humor doesn't work, and well I pointed out i'm really only half ginger, red beard...not red head. So therefor i both have a soul and a void where there isn't one. And maybe that makes me feel that darkness, and the void even more strongly. Or explains my fucking weirdness... obs not because souls are a cultural phenomenon to placate the fear that we're just a bag of walking water with a lot of electrical shit happening in a mass of fatty tissue at the apex.
Was feeling better after the hopeful part - thought relaying that FB thing about the no sense of humor and the soul would be good, it put me back in the funk...
Got wet this morning. Didn't ride the e-bike tho, nope. Worked and got wet even though it wasn't raining. Glasses had so much condensation on them that I had to wipe them off (not much improvement). Still just riding in street clothes. Still just putting one foot in front of the other.
The email this morning from the KMC folks got me a bit excited until i read through and finally got to the part about $10/car. Deal breaker. I was already boderline. Lots of reasons, well established. I supported that race while it was here in PVD for years, days and days of hard labor, through the easy smooth Tom Stevens years to the first couple with the new course folks. In person support and media support while they worked with the city and all... They lowered the prices, cut it down to one day, there's a singlespeed race, weather is going to be wet and cold and should be fun, but driving there sucks in good weather. It is a fucking awesome place to ride to, terrible to drive to from my house. As a fence sitter trying to decide where to race this weekend, that $10 pushes me off the fence back to the side of not racing... I feel bad about that, it isn't a good feeling having something so trivial as $10 pushing me in that direction but $50 to race? It really isn't that much, but it is just that tiny bit too much.
And yeah that didn't help much either.
And the elevator is fucking broken and alarming, beeping, then annoying alarm, then quiet then beeping then alarm... NON STOP - and then it is quiet for a bit. Randomly starts up again AND I AM OUT OF COFFEE, don't want to make another pot because that would be bad but I'm tired and not feeling well and coffee is the only thing I have left.
Not true - I have plenty of other stuff left. But coffee helps.
SEM is down, being rebuilt. Here to support and help the engineer, although he doesn't need help. at the moment. Kind of want to take images - find something new to look at on there. No inspiration. No muse.
Got the new Planet Bike Rojo 100 in the mail last night - will try that out. Gonna put that on the bike. Should be fun, nice and small. USB c recharging plug nice modes.
writing might have been a bad idea today. But I had all the tabs open (links above) when I opened this up to start - best intentions. Oh well.
heddwch
G
Saturday, November 16, 2019
one down...
Got one car taken care of. The easy one. Just an oil change and a reset of the oil change indicator.
Picked up some new cycling gloves. cheap, but warm and thin and may be good. We'll see. Now I have two mid-weight gloves, one ancient pair of Pearl Izumi's on their last fingers and these 100% Brisker gloves. Will try em out tomorrow.
Got the parts to do the other car too, the hoping the spark plug non-foulers help. Code was clear until I just got home. But not quite enough daylight to start digging into it.
Picked up a second cog, a nice 17t. Gonna dig out the spare spacers and put it on the mud wheels. If i need the mud tires i'll likely need the easier gear. Also will be good to test the fit.
Thinking maybe KMC next weekend because of the singlespeed category. Skipping shed park because no SSCX category also a long drive and some less than awesome memories. Like say the downpipe falling off, among other things.
Got my blood work back and my Tgl is nice and low, well mid-range and that T/G calc i linked to last post puts me at the safe border of the insulin side and I think if i hadn't eaten a giant pile of pasta the night before and gone back for thirds because it tasted so good, I probably would have been even lower. Oh I have decidedly average hemocrit - 44. Weeeeeee.
Did get some rest, slept in, thought about the Bikeworks ride but sleep was good. I'll ride tomorrow, then grocery shopping, then work on the car.
Parts for the Concept 2 are here - gonna have to take that apart soon and put it back together... and now start to figure out what to make for dinner.
And get my shit together for tomorrow morning.
getting my shit together for more than a day ahead seems like an insurmountable task.
one thing at a time...
heddwch
G
Picked up some new cycling gloves. cheap, but warm and thin and may be good. We'll see. Now I have two mid-weight gloves, one ancient pair of Pearl Izumi's on their last fingers and these 100% Brisker gloves. Will try em out tomorrow.
Got the parts to do the other car too, the hoping the spark plug non-foulers help. Code was clear until I just got home. But not quite enough daylight to start digging into it.
Picked up a second cog, a nice 17t. Gonna dig out the spare spacers and put it on the mud wheels. If i need the mud tires i'll likely need the easier gear. Also will be good to test the fit.
Thinking maybe KMC next weekend because of the singlespeed category. Skipping shed park because no SSCX category also a long drive and some less than awesome memories. Like say the downpipe falling off, among other things.
Got my blood work back and my Tgl is nice and low, well mid-range and that T/G calc i linked to last post puts me at the safe border of the insulin side and I think if i hadn't eaten a giant pile of pasta the night before and gone back for thirds because it tasted so good, I probably would have been even lower. Oh I have decidedly average hemocrit - 44. Weeeeeee.
Did get some rest, slept in, thought about the Bikeworks ride but sleep was good. I'll ride tomorrow, then grocery shopping, then work on the car.
Parts for the Concept 2 are here - gonna have to take that apart soon and put it back together... and now start to figure out what to make for dinner.
And get my shit together for tomorrow morning.
getting my shit together for more than a day ahead seems like an insurmountable task.
one thing at a time...
heddwch
G
Friday, November 15, 2019
Made it to the end of the day
What a day eh?
What a week. Weird one. Short. And holy crap I'm booked up solid every day until I leave for Seattle for the Yuletide concerts.
This place looks really cool. Kind of want to go head there and hang out in the summer heat - gotta be pretty high on the amazing side no?
What a week. Weird one. Short. And holy crap I'm booked up solid every day until I leave for Seattle for the Yuletide concerts.
This place looks really cool. Kind of want to go head there and hang out in the summer heat - gotta be pretty high on the amazing side no?
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
Well where was I?
Right here. Same as always.
Rode some bikes, tried to rest. Rode some more bikes. Drove to Doc. Got told a few things. Took apart a Concept 2 Model C, put it back together. Rode in to work this morning with 20F on the thermometer with a 20+ gusting headwind.
I forget what happened saturday. Totally locked out brain not sure what the fuck happened. Oh right - kid pick up then shopping. Did some other stuff and eventually got to sleep.
Woke up way before I was ready to and headed out on the MTB with Syl and Fred. Was slow, but man I was dead, and tired and felt terrible. Sub-deltoid bursa was pissed off and painful from all the painting and grouting. Still. Yes. I know. Ugh.
Came home and didn't do much. Pretty hosed.
Went off for the CX out on the cape on Monday. Raced Singlespeed. Didn't get lapped by Donny, finished 8th, faded in the last two laps, probably lost a minute plus on each lap why? Sometimes the big gear I run works, sometimes it doesn't. This was another one of those where I should have changed the gear. Super short tight course with all the acceleration and few to no long pedally sections. You were either going slightly up hill, steeply up hill, or coming out of a 90-180 turn (or going down). I suppose if I was stronger and in better shape and 20 pound lighter the gear would be good. But I'm not, and it wasn't.
I left the Stache in the car after Sunday and put the CX bike on top of it. Maybe ride Otis after. didn't wind up doing that. Even though it was a pretty short race, i still was wrecked. Tired. Just drove home.
Made dinner.
Slept.
Woke up and went to the Doc.
My Glucose is too high, LDL kind of high, and oddly potassium was elevated.
I think potassium is probably a bounce back/related to the prednisone and the adrenal gland re-stabilizing. Had the blood work done fasted and only a couple days after last taper dose.
Glucose too high? well that's probably because I ate a shit ton of delicious mac and cheese I made (not whole wheat pasta) the night before. Sure it was almost a 12 hour fast but... well... I can eat a lot. And didn't work out nearly hard enough that morning, or the day before to be in glycogen debt.
LDL? only flagged now because they changed stuff but I'm very very much convinced these numbers are not great predictors of CVD. Related? Yes, but there's a lot of other things.
I re-did the Glucose, much less accurate quick little machine at the annual wellness screening today. Gluc was lower, but then again I ate a shit ton of mac and cheese again. Yeah I make it once every couple weeks, or maybe more frequently. Going to def go back to whole wheat pasta exclusively.
Too much fuel. Not enough intensity on the bike. Makes sense. Can tweak and adjust this. Will be re-testing for HepK and LDL and glucose. def will plan on doing a very different dietary plan on the run in to that blood draw.
It makes sense. I've been eating a bit more pasta and white potatoes lately. Trying to make sure I am topped up for efforts. even if I'm not doing as many efforts as I should. Also giving in a bit to fueling the rowing kid who IS doing a shit tone of work and needs the fuel.
Guess what's for dinner tonight?
Salad motherfuckers.
A big goddamn salad.
And maybe some burger pockets (burgers cooked and then wrapped in tortilla with cheese and then seared to seal and melt cheese - although writing this gives me another idea on how to make them... hmmmmm)
Did I mention it was cold this morning? Broke out the Wolvhammer boots. The previous generation, the ones w/o the removable liner, and w/o the boa. BUT THEY ARE STILL SUPER WONDERFULLY WARM.
The boots look pretty silly with Lycra, but I wore street clothes, no big deal. Shit forgot to plug in my headlight. Here's to hoping there's enough juice in the light to get home.
Dug out my warm gloves even.
So the energy balance thing is what I've gotta work on. Def not working as hard as i should and eating more than i should, esp of the yummy shit.
Made some chicken and soba noodles with so much umami it was REDICULOUS, so delicious. Ate so much. Too much. damn bottomless pit of a stomach. Ate that while watching Ramen Heads. Now I want some legit Japanese ramen. Where though? I bet no one makes their own noodles here.
Took apart crew kid's teammate's erg they got for free. Teeth were SUPER fucked up on the cog, chain also super rusty and missing a bit of hardware and had the old wood handle. Just ordered all the parts to recondition it. Not going to pull the bungies, they are still working, probably have been replaced at least once, the pick up has. And if the bungies break, well that's not the hardest fix, or the most expensive, maybe should have ordered them while I was at it... next time I guess.
Would be nice to race bikes this weekend but I think I'll just have to make due with riding the MTB. I am very much liking it. But will hopefully show up not as tired and run down as I was last week.
Ooh it is late. Damnit. Been one crazy motherfucking day. it is 7 degrees warmer out there right now, and I'll have a tailwind. BUT it is dark, I'm wagering I'll be colder on the ride home than i was on the ride in.
Shit maybe I need to get the trainer set up, sigh, probably. The big Stache MTB is taking up the space the trainer would be set up in. Maybe I need to re-do the re-do of the bike room.
or not
Need to work more on the rest of everything. And catch up on the rest. Even racing this weekend and riding the MTB I'm making progress there.
Now I need to get home and make some dinner.
heddwch
G
Rode some bikes, tried to rest. Rode some more bikes. Drove to Doc. Got told a few things. Took apart a Concept 2 Model C, put it back together. Rode in to work this morning with 20F on the thermometer with a 20+ gusting headwind.
I forget what happened saturday. Totally locked out brain not sure what the fuck happened. Oh right - kid pick up then shopping. Did some other stuff and eventually got to sleep.
Woke up way before I was ready to and headed out on the MTB with Syl and Fred. Was slow, but man I was dead, and tired and felt terrible. Sub-deltoid bursa was pissed off and painful from all the painting and grouting. Still. Yes. I know. Ugh.
Came home and didn't do much. Pretty hosed.
Went off for the CX out on the cape on Monday. Raced Singlespeed. Didn't get lapped by Donny, finished 8th, faded in the last two laps, probably lost a minute plus on each lap why? Sometimes the big gear I run works, sometimes it doesn't. This was another one of those where I should have changed the gear. Super short tight course with all the acceleration and few to no long pedally sections. You were either going slightly up hill, steeply up hill, or coming out of a 90-180 turn (or going down). I suppose if I was stronger and in better shape and 20 pound lighter the gear would be good. But I'm not, and it wasn't.
I left the Stache in the car after Sunday and put the CX bike on top of it. Maybe ride Otis after. didn't wind up doing that. Even though it was a pretty short race, i still was wrecked. Tired. Just drove home.
Made dinner.
Slept.
Woke up and went to the Doc.
My Glucose is too high, LDL kind of high, and oddly potassium was elevated.
I think potassium is probably a bounce back/related to the prednisone and the adrenal gland re-stabilizing. Had the blood work done fasted and only a couple days after last taper dose.
Glucose too high? well that's probably because I ate a shit ton of delicious mac and cheese I made (not whole wheat pasta) the night before. Sure it was almost a 12 hour fast but... well... I can eat a lot. And didn't work out nearly hard enough that morning, or the day before to be in glycogen debt.
LDL? only flagged now because they changed stuff but I'm very very much convinced these numbers are not great predictors of CVD. Related? Yes, but there's a lot of other things.
I re-did the Glucose, much less accurate quick little machine at the annual wellness screening today. Gluc was lower, but then again I ate a shit ton of mac and cheese again. Yeah I make it once every couple weeks, or maybe more frequently. Going to def go back to whole wheat pasta exclusively.
Too much fuel. Not enough intensity on the bike. Makes sense. Can tweak and adjust this. Will be re-testing for HepK and LDL and glucose. def will plan on doing a very different dietary plan on the run in to that blood draw.
It makes sense. I've been eating a bit more pasta and white potatoes lately. Trying to make sure I am topped up for efforts. even if I'm not doing as many efforts as I should. Also giving in a bit to fueling the rowing kid who IS doing a shit tone of work and needs the fuel.
Guess what's for dinner tonight?
Salad motherfuckers.
A big goddamn salad.
And maybe some burger pockets (burgers cooked and then wrapped in tortilla with cheese and then seared to seal and melt cheese - although writing this gives me another idea on how to make them... hmmmmm)
Did I mention it was cold this morning? Broke out the Wolvhammer boots. The previous generation, the ones w/o the removable liner, and w/o the boa. BUT THEY ARE STILL SUPER WONDERFULLY WARM.
The boots look pretty silly with Lycra, but I wore street clothes, no big deal. Shit forgot to plug in my headlight. Here's to hoping there's enough juice in the light to get home.
Dug out my warm gloves even.
So the energy balance thing is what I've gotta work on. Def not working as hard as i should and eating more than i should, esp of the yummy shit.
Made some chicken and soba noodles with so much umami it was REDICULOUS, so delicious. Ate so much. Too much. damn bottomless pit of a stomach. Ate that while watching Ramen Heads. Now I want some legit Japanese ramen. Where though? I bet no one makes their own noodles here.
Took apart crew kid's teammate's erg they got for free. Teeth were SUPER fucked up on the cog, chain also super rusty and missing a bit of hardware and had the old wood handle. Just ordered all the parts to recondition it. Not going to pull the bungies, they are still working, probably have been replaced at least once, the pick up has. And if the bungies break, well that's not the hardest fix, or the most expensive, maybe should have ordered them while I was at it... next time I guess.
Would be nice to race bikes this weekend but I think I'll just have to make due with riding the MTB. I am very much liking it. But will hopefully show up not as tired and run down as I was last week.
Ooh it is late. Damnit. Been one crazy motherfucking day. it is 7 degrees warmer out there right now, and I'll have a tailwind. BUT it is dark, I'm wagering I'll be colder on the ride home than i was on the ride in.
Shit maybe I need to get the trainer set up, sigh, probably. The big Stache MTB is taking up the space the trainer would be set up in. Maybe I need to re-do the re-do of the bike room.
or not
Need to work more on the rest of everything. And catch up on the rest. Even racing this weekend and riding the MTB I'm making progress there.
Now I need to get home and make some dinner.
heddwch
G
Friday, November 08, 2019
Open book
The song that lead to this:
was in my head for a while and it is this one:
But really mid-rabbit hole there I stumbled down this:
And I went bare handed in 33°F weather with a headwind.
Only 40 minutes, not too bad.
If you're gonna be dumb/lazy ya better be tough.
Yeah I need to find something other than my super arctic gloves. Can't find the mid-weight or lightweight stash.
odd morning
tiny punctuation of insanity longer bits of calm, and the stuff I need to fix is in use, which is good, but still has issues to resolve.
There were snacks upstairs. I ate them. Gotta rock the clydesdale label. My bike is heavy and so am i. Really was funny watching Syl try and lift it after the Church ride. He's gonna be a menace when his Blur is ready to ride.
Missing NoHo - mixed feelings about it but ultimately the right call... maybe I'll be back someday... maybe next year. Who knows.
Missing it? the racing every weekend? Yeah. Missing the racing, missing the friends... it was the best with teammates, even if it isn't a team sport. Gave ya something to work for, pulled ya up a bit taller, made ya dig a bit deeper.
This is f'n good, why have I not seen it before? Have I not heard them before? How is that possible?
crazy
more videos?
Not today.. maybe
Maybe the Ska infusion as of late and the Caro Emerald mixing in there has been a good thing.
okay - enough skankin around
heddwch
G
was in my head for a while and it is this one:
But really mid-rabbit hole there I stumbled down this:
And I went bare handed in 33°F weather with a headwind.
Only 40 minutes, not too bad.
If you're gonna be dumb/lazy ya better be tough.
Yeah I need to find something other than my super arctic gloves. Can't find the mid-weight or lightweight stash.
odd morning
tiny punctuation of insanity longer bits of calm, and the stuff I need to fix is in use, which is good, but still has issues to resolve.
There were snacks upstairs. I ate them. Gotta rock the clydesdale label. My bike is heavy and so am i. Really was funny watching Syl try and lift it after the Church ride. He's gonna be a menace when his Blur is ready to ride.
Missing NoHo - mixed feelings about it but ultimately the right call... maybe I'll be back someday... maybe next year. Who knows.
Missing it? the racing every weekend? Yeah. Missing the racing, missing the friends... it was the best with teammates, even if it isn't a team sport. Gave ya something to work for, pulled ya up a bit taller, made ya dig a bit deeper.
This is f'n good, why have I not seen it before? Have I not heard them before? How is that possible?
crazy
more videos?
Not today.. maybe
Maybe the Ska infusion as of late and the Caro Emerald mixing in there has been a good thing.
okay - enough skankin around
heddwch
G
Wednesday, November 06, 2019
hello friends
bathroom done and i'm wrecked and moving on to shit with no downtime,
kind of
course might be all set to ignore until the spring, i think i have a full compliment of students and a overflowing waiting list
bikes? what bikes...
commute
still feeling tentative on the SSCX under super high load
made some steak tonight, kid LOVED it... is was pretty damn f'n good.
took a couple photos on the ride yesterday - missed the rain, was awesome on the way home...
Pissed that I didn't have time to listen to the whole NKK J book. the audiobook I was waiting for forever (since july) expired before I could finish the last 1/4 of it. But it was extra awesome listening to the audio, and the cultural inflections and how to pronounce the names, so when I the book version (shorter wait #2 on 1 vs #12 on 2) is off hold then I'll pick it back up. Still closing in on the last part of the Sarah J Maas's book 4 of the Throne of Glass series. It is good, I like it but am at the point where I just want to know what happens. Might need to give this series a rest before picking up book 5.
We'll see what the hold roulette does. I kind of want Gideon the Ninth to come off first, I've heard much much good stuff about it.
That doesn't makes sense... heard much much good stufff... wtf
Ah well.
Also GRX has a dropper integrated left lever. I want it. BADLY. Not because I need a dropper on the CX but i would certainly USE one. But that's a lot of $$ to upgrade to something like that. For a bike I haven't ridden since I raced it last... when the fuck was that?
Minuteman CX?
Shit, can't remember. Not doing NoHo this weekend. Might head to the Cape on Monday. Why not eh? could be a fun day. We'll see what the weather does and the SS race isn't super early.
Felt like getting a few words out... instead of reading...
ok - gonna put food away and start the dishwasher and maybe catch up on sleep. The bathroom kicked my butt, the late night painting and all the rest going on.
I am tired.
But it looks good. I'm happy with it. Everyone else is too.
heddwch
G
kind of
course might be all set to ignore until the spring, i think i have a full compliment of students and a overflowing waiting list
bikes? what bikes...
commute
still feeling tentative on the SSCX under super high load
made some steak tonight, kid LOVED it... is was pretty damn f'n good.
took a couple photos on the ride yesterday - missed the rain, was awesome on the way home...
Pissed that I didn't have time to listen to the whole NKK J book. the audiobook I was waiting for forever (since july) expired before I could finish the last 1/4 of it. But it was extra awesome listening to the audio, and the cultural inflections and how to pronounce the names, so when I the book version (shorter wait #2 on 1 vs #12 on 2) is off hold then I'll pick it back up. Still closing in on the last part of the Sarah J Maas's book 4 of the Throne of Glass series. It is good, I like it but am at the point where I just want to know what happens. Might need to give this series a rest before picking up book 5.
We'll see what the hold roulette does. I kind of want Gideon the Ninth to come off first, I've heard much much good stuff about it.
That doesn't makes sense... heard much much good stufff... wtf
Ah well.
Also GRX has a dropper integrated left lever. I want it. BADLY. Not because I need a dropper on the CX but i would certainly USE one. But that's a lot of $$ to upgrade to something like that. For a bike I haven't ridden since I raced it last... when the fuck was that?
Minuteman CX?
Shit, can't remember. Not doing NoHo this weekend. Might head to the Cape on Monday. Why not eh? could be a fun day. We'll see what the weather does and the SS race isn't super early.
Felt like getting a few words out... instead of reading...
ok - gonna put food away and start the dishwasher and maybe catch up on sleep. The bathroom kicked my butt, the late night painting and all the rest going on.
I am tired.
But it looks good. I'm happy with it. Everyone else is too.
heddwch
G
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