Blink

 another couple days, a week, what? blink and a month has passed, blink again and it will be April, next blink and it will be December.

what is happening, why is everything so piled on and crazy and busy and why can't the pace be manageable and chill and relaxed?

I scratched my eye on Friday. Paper towel, one of those really hard industrial tri-fold ones. Corner right across the right eye. Was bad for a few days, but getting better, currently the eye is still recovering and everything is a bit fuzzy still. Getting better, but it is my more dominant right eye and it kind of sucks. Getting better but so far life has kept me from being as hydrated as I need to be during the day and overnight it doesn't get the best chance to heal.

Made me realize how important hydration is during the day, not just at the end of the day. And also made me very happy I'm sober because this would be a full on nightmare with the alcohol additiction. The eyes and the constant scratch and lifting of the cells filling in the scar on both eyes was one of the big factors to quitting. Being able to see is somewhat important in my work and passions.

And here I am throwing words on the digital wall instead of walking upstairs to fill up a bottle with sparkling cold water. Yeah, I like bubbles. Can drink more water that way. Drinking coffee is great but enough coffee to hydrate means not sleeping much or having an interrupted night of sleep. I should get water.

But before that, i watched this eating lunch.

It was good, there's some key comments about New England riding, some fun shots of Lincoln Woods, a place I haven't ridden since the spring of 2009 with Curtis aka Skinnywhitedude aka fastest guy on the team. The team that is no more, that broke up and splintered and then was reformed later without some key elements and life was never the same. 

That's a different story, maybe someday will be told fully by everyone, as each of our own version is probably different, but in sharing the truth might emerge, but sharing by all. And given the fact that closethedoor still has be blocked on the faceplace, well it isn't happening soon.

Funny thing about faceplace, I started posting some of the black and white stuff tehre, some comparison things, you know for science and to help people unfamiliar with it, realize the difference between digital and film and what the difference is between film and color turned black and white. And twice, after posting photos there my account got locked down. I think maybe the algorithm thinks I'm posting the same photo twice, it is just that one is digital and one is a scanned film image and they aren't the same, but maybe the algorithm isn't cued into the subtle differences humans appreciate and decides the activity is suspicions. Who knows. It is annoying. Pulling back from Twitter has been good, it isn't just tracking the stuff I don't care or get many/any replies if I don't initiate engagement, so the reality is I'm there to see stuff from other people, to be connected to the cool shit they find or do or to witness their struggles or triumphs. IOW life. But pulling back is good. Probably won't go full solobreak and delete the account and leave (and only stalk from a browser), but somewhere in between maybe. For sure I'm pulling back from dipping my toe into FB, it did give some people I don't talk to ever that I do care about a chance to engage and they did and that was deeply appreciated, but on the other side if they cared as much maybe they would reach out? It is a two way street right? Like my dad would say after I apologized for not calling more frequently (he never called me, I always called him) the 'phone' [email, text, DM] works both ways.

I'm gonna go get that bottle of water before I say anything else and start leaking more water out of my eye.

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