One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came tot he part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, "...and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling!'" The teacher then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year-old came int the room as I was preparing to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "But what's growing in your butt?"
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly in the pastor's clip on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs, too."
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