long painful handful of days

But before I say anything introspective go read Jonny's CT stage race entry. Holy shit. Now we all know how good he is at racing bikes, and how racing bikes is racing bikes, he wins no matter what kind of bike or what kind of race. But not only does he win but he writes very well, and is just one of those solidly class act/good guys. Even when he is kicking your teeth in on the bike ya can't but help cheer for him.

anyway... go read his entry...

I wish I could say it was painful from doing the CT stage race. But no. It was painful because waking up saturday Morning I couldn't turn my head to the right.

My neck was locked up and it got progressively worse through out the day. I had arm functions and I was mobile and able to deal with the pain drug free but I really couldn't turn my head. It was messed up.

How did it happen? I dunno. But I'm going to guess that my efforts at recovering from the 360km weekend and then the wed night smack down-ish ride were doing a good job of holding down any major muscular stress from the silly saddle time. Friday came around and I coupled dehyrdation, maybe not best anti-inflammatory food (i don't remember what lunch was - i do remember, and no it wasn't the best choice). Made dinner, had a couple glasses of win with the in-laws and then fell asleep. And I must have slept funny enough to allow the muscles in my neck and back to lock up and contract. And stay that way. It sucked.

Finally got into the doc's office (my GP is an OM practicing DO) and poof, I could move my head again monday afternoon. There's still a good deal of muscular pain. But I do have full range of motion back with really very little work on my DO's part. My spine is already pretty ugly (you don't grow this tall and skinny w/o some issues) but for the most part it is very functional. Now it just hurts. But I can ride the bike comfortably. At least to and from work.

But I need to get better and not make it worse until my body fixes itself. So it means I'm going to have to bail on the Smackdown ride tonight.

Tonight is the anniversary of Mark Nicholson's last ride.

Last year he joined myself and a handful of teammates and others and we hit the course. He had to make a rest stop before the Chepachet left turn on 44 and we waited for him. And then he proceeded to unleash a big can of whupp-ass on all of us.

Going back through the archives I'm kicking myself for not writing about that smack down ride.

Seriously. WTF was I thinking not writing about it?

I had hoped to find the entry and reflect on some of the details. But no, now i have to be satisfied with the memories from a year later.

Mark was a person bigger than life. He lived in a way so buoyed by positive energy and boundless enthusiasm that you couldn't help but have it rub off on you.

I'm reading that Anti-cancer book still. Many distractions have kept me from finishing it as fast I might normally. But the pace of reading it has brought me to the section on how to deal with death, how to cope with the potential that your time is coming to an end. Mark embodied the book pretty much in every way.

My grandmother is approaching the end of her life as well. An incredibly remarkable woman, one of the most published people i know, someone who was involved in the highest intellectual pursuits until the onset of Alzheimer's. There isn't another person who used her brain more than she did. So the whole activity, use your brain or get old-timers, is a crock. At least that's my current opinion, based on her life. She went into Hospice a month ago. She had hoped to hold on until her 90th birthday on July 6th. Based on the last family report she likely won't make it quite that far. She isn't eating much if anything right now. And is just staying in bed. Her body is preparing for the end, in peace and in no visible pain.

Preparing for loss is different than having someone suddenly taken away. We all suspected Mark was battling cancer again last spring, hoping for the best but even the worst I certainly didn't think I would be riding with him one day and then getting a phone call saying that he had died a few days later.

This weekend was filled with family and all sorts of stuff. It was good. But even before I realized, after reading an email, that today was the anniversary of his last ride, Mark has been in my thoughts.

Cancer is an evil bitch.

be well...