Hair Dresser, Personal Chef, and Chauffeur

oh and masseuse. I guess a regular old time Soigneur.

That's my current job description. Well the other than work job.

Every morning is like a stage in a Tour. I get up before everyone else, spend 15 minutes catching up online, get cleaned up and start in with it.

Breakfast needs to be made. Each of the team members have slightly different preferences for the first meal of the day. Today for example it was a couple mini-bagels with some Nutella for one, a breakfast sandwich on some pan de mie with Jarlsberg and parmigiana cheese one fried egg and two pieces of pan fried salami (brings out the flavor and removes some of the fat) for the second who will be dancing all day and an omelet with the afore mentioned cheeses sheathed in a flame toasted tortilla (a two egg omelet out of my pan is exactly the same size as the 365 organic tortillas) for my wife.

Then it is an immediate switch over to packing the musette bags, i mean lunches. Care has to be made to keep a balance between desires and needs. The youngest seems to have the highest caloric demand lately and the most challenging to find a "main" focal point for the lunch. So it is a chaotic balance of getting fresh fruits in there (mostly seasonal and organic and, if possible, local but almost completely domestically sourced) and some balanced sources of other fuels. Sort of a mad packing/then checking to make sure it meets with approval. Yes I know, I shouldn't offer them a choice, but we have enough family meals where there is no choice that Lunches kind of get a pass.

Once those are all sorted it is basically time for the mechanic to check the bikes for the day. Unload them all from the bike room. Prepare the trailer, check the tires, chain and shifting on my wifes bike, address any issues (if possible) noticed on the ride home and generally get them all out and ready to go. Bottles get filled, bags get double checked and stowed in the trailer and then it is time to get kitted up into the chauffeur uniform. Today I decided to give some exposure to the CX sponsor from last season. Make sure teeth are brushed and we are out the door.

The ride in for my client and charge for the rest of the day, or at least the beginning and end of ballet intensive, essentially gets a leg warm up on the way in. Esp as we are progressing in the week and she's tired and sore from dancing all day, the ride in really for her is a way to move the legs and let some blood flow circulate and clean them out without any exertion. Which means, yes, she's mostly just dead weight on the tandem and when the wind, like today, is slightly to the left of a headwind, a wind drag as well. The trailer does a good job of being a parachute even if the wind is dead on, so it is pretty much a constant drag. There aren't many hills but the few of them that are between destinations are pretty tough. Short fortunately but 13% is still 13% even if it is only for 10-20 feet. Momentum is your friend but it isn't always available to push it up over. Heck even 5% isn't easy with this rig.

Then once we get to the destination, well time to get the hair ready. It is essentially impossible to have a ballet bun under a helmet, esp with all the bobby pins needed to hold it together.

And well. Time to be hair dresser. I'm actually getting better. If you don't know to make a bun you have to start with a pony tail. And there is a hell of a lot of hair to corral and try and make look somewhat presentable. Today it went better than previously. Got the the pony tail up, then wrapped and twisted the pony tail around the hair tie and then used a hair net thing to wrap around the ball of hair to keep the loose ends in. Then the ball has to be flattened and secured to the back of the head with bobby pins. Once it is tight and immobilized, well then we break out the hair spray. Gotta tame any flyaways and lock that bun in for the whole day.

Then I get to turn into a Microscopist for 7.5-8 hours or so before returning as Chauffeur for the trip home.

But it isn't straight home. The way home we have one extra passenger to pick up. She sits in the trailer, but today we've had a request to get the trai-a-bike to replace the trailer. Which if we have time on the way there we can do. Timing though is everything.

So after that it is time to get cleaned up and fed. Then feet up and massages. I've been using the Weleda stuff. And that's why i'm an old school soigneur, I'm not an LMT or anything, but I've got smelly oils and i can identify muscle groups that are going to be sore. Once all massaged and relaxed it is off to bed, sleep and repeat.

And yeah that's pretty much the full day. Time for training in there? Not a freaking chance. Do I care? Right now not even a tiny bit. It is great. Besides - hauling that tandem and trailer is enough muscle tension work. The hills are like heavy weight training, the rest is just static load work.

Tomorrow I think the Soigneur is making pancakes. Maybe waffles, but probably pancakes. So that's going to change the dynamic and make it important to start the day even earlier. Which i'm sure the dog will not mind.

Couple good links:
how to teach your kids to ride I agree with JLS, good points. Unfortunately it is all pretty flat withing easy pedaling distance of the house (which is nice when you're riding home from a leg ripping ride).

And mr self promotion himself talking about the new UCI rule changes over at Cyclocross magazine. Sort amazing that Myerson can put together a thought with more than 140 characters.

Oh and my favorite phrase right now:

Cheap Food = Expensive Health care (cheap as in poor quality high caloric/dollar value - not inexpensive, because obviously there is inexpensive quality food out there)

heddwch
G