Today was a driving day. I could have loaded the girls up and taken them to school, driven home, grabbed the bike, but I didn't. I kept going. I drove in. Wound up getting lucky with a parking spot, and no riding. It was 40°F and raining pretty steadily.
honestly not terribly upset about getting to work cold and wet, running the fan in the office until the shoes and socks were dry for the ride home.
Tomorrow might be more of the same.
Unavoidable reasons, for all practical purposes at least. There's always an alternative, the most logical one was the car for today.
A bit too busy today to be terribly introspective, I would be lying if I hadn't been mired down with the aftermath of CT. Not sure adding my voice and my opinion to the mix will change anything. The country is too polarized for debate. We have great evidence of that looking back at the election. The news schism, the rhetoric, the talking points. People getting mad at everyone for politicizing the events so soon w/o allowing for a grieving period. But there is far too much silence from many of the gun advocates. Just making observations. not unique to me, i'm certainly not the only one to make such comments. Compromise is needed, further polarization isn't going to help the situation. Still the question remains where to we go from here? Hopefully in a positive direction.
Hopefully.
Somber a bit, contemplative. Grateful for the health and safety of my family.
Weather like today has me relieved that I'm not trying to squeeze whole long ride day in over this week. Too much going on. We'll see what the forecast brings when the new Year rolls in. We'll see what the future brings. At least I have something bigger to push the minor trivialities of life out of my brain. I'm not as locked down with panic at Christmas and the reality that I need gifts to make it special. I'm a shitty person when it comes to trying to figure out what to get people, panic, freeze, attempt. I've certainly managed to hit it big and special. Getting it right but it takes work and effort to overcome the natural signals of freak out. I've got a few days to figure it out I guess. At least I've been consistent enough of the years that no one expects much of anything from me anymore. But that doesn't make it easier, makes it sadder and harder... my gifts, at least I rationalize to myself, are often not material, time, love, caring... I'm not perfect. I'm pretty broken. But I do keep trying... Alright, enough of that bullshit.
Time to sort out what the hell i'm making for dinner. Talk about a big question to over think.
Writing to fill space at the end of the day. 3 min here 5 there... kind of disjuncted but at least no one can ever understand what the hell I'm writing about anyway, i've got that going for me.
heddwch
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