working my butt off to make it all work

Today was accomplish everything. Wanted to just keep sleeping, nope, gotta shuttle/ferry/transport. race home more transport. work the rest of the day. get home. cook dinner.

Finally decompress for a second, read what I wrote last night...

contemplate on it a bit more.

Off the cuff, like everything I write, it is spot on and I can't dissagree with it all. Maybe take away some emotion, put a filter or two back in place and it might have a different tone or might be missing a few sentences.

Only comment about that is one reacts they way they are treated and you think someone isn't reacting appropriately then well, it isn't their fault. Keep that in mind. They are reacting to you. You may not know have or any of the story behind why what you did triggered that response, but blaming them for your ignorance of the situation or potential reaction isn't going to help. Best to confront, acknowledge and file it away and not do it again.

Kind of standard life practice.

It is how I've been running core facilities for way many years. If you fuck something up, tell me, and tell me exactly what you did leading up to it, makes it easier to fix, helps me figure out how to keep it from happening again, maybe by changing trainings or signage or something. Break something the same way twice? Out. Cut off. No more using scopes. I'm happy to say i've never had to cut anyone off ever. Yes, I'm just rambling.

I pedaled today. Rode home from the bike shop. Tail wind. Was still slow. Tired. But even after all the running yesterday not sore. I was still thirsty and drank a good number of waterbottles, I think I did wind up sweating a lot yesteday between the racing and then the couple hours in the sun cleaning out the rusty race wagon.

Hey anyone want a TDI engine/motor with transmission for a project car? Body is a bit rusty but i've fixed and replaced most everything bolted to the motor. It is in good shape, honestly. We'll see hoping to get it sold soon. Hoping to finalize the rest of the reason why i have to sell it sooner than later.

Also debating attempting a pre-sale of nanoscape prints. But I've sucked every last productive minute (right now my brain is too fried to do much more than tell my fingers to get this shit out of my head and written down here) dealing with the swedish sled, legal priorities take precedence.

I'm definitely still wondering about the wisdom of signing up for the short handled shovel challenge. esp going into G'ster weekend. But my barely more sane brain says it won't matter and the fun will be worth every ounce of pain and stupidity.

Oh and one thing i've noticed. Spending less time talking about what's wrong and what's bugging you, is good. Removes that outlet to focus on the negative. Diminshes it. Kind of like at the end of 'The Son' actually very much like that. Keep the negativity starving, don't feed it. Unfortunately unlike the book it is beyond challenging to completely starve it to omission, might have been at one point, path chosen differently, but then I wouldn't be here. And here isn't so bad. Pretty damn good.

My evening decompression, writing, may be a bad habit, but it is better than many alternatives. But sitting and writing is also not doing anything, and there's so much to DO. Can't stop, haven't stopped, and as long as I can't afford Disc brakes i probably won't stop.

I'm liking the Garbage truck, it sucks but isn't terrible, it is heavy but isn't what is slowing me down, it isn't a pure SS bike neither is it a good CX bike, but it is the perfect SSCX bike in my mind. Not to take away from everyones wonderful fancy dedicated bikes...  but it oddly makes me happy. Also: I think i ran too many PSI or have too much stans in the tubes/tubulars. I didn't add any air between Quad and Riverpoint to either the white blue or the garbage truck. Hahaha... oops. Kind of should get a digital pressure gauge...  Someday. Gotta get new wash brushes first.

But the working my butt off just to make it work balance will have to tip into the 'yeah you can spend a couple bucks on that" before those happen.

Monday'll be here soon enough. City Tax office, Dentist then DMV. I've got myself the perfect day lined up! CAN'T WAIT!

heddwch
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