Smackdown - can't walk level pain

Heading to the DO this afternoon. Right hip/muscle issue came back big time after sitting on the train, sort of got progressively worse somewhat at peak pain level now. can't walk w/o pain, and this is kind of make your eyes light up white with pain.

Rode through smackdown with it, probably not the best idea, but it was mostly okay until I stood up and I needed the ride. I felt horrible, could barely do much, but I got the HR up, put some work in, woke up the legs, hit the reset button after the conference week. But man I am tired. Really fatigued lately. Like drinking 1.5x to 2x more coffee than I normally drink and I normally drink a LOT more than anyone else. Fuller who claims to have ridden no more than 200 miles this year was dropping me, after I pulled for a while but still, it was not helping the mental state of things. I did pretty much pull hard through most of the sections, pulled up all of Rocky hill, but he walked away from me on Hillside. I shifted to the little ring for the first hill, i think, but maybe not, it hurt, then hit that last little rise and OMG i thought I would have to get off and walk, what the actually fuck? Like I can barely turn the gear over and this is terrifying. I was in the 55 not the 42. That explains a bit.  Riding back I just couldn't make the legs work, not fuel, not fluid, just fatigue. And pain.

Took a break here, had a pile of meetings, got ready to go grab some lunch, realized that I have left my wallet at home. Guess I'm headed back there before the Dr. Can't really put any gas in the car w/o a way to pay for it eh? So, yeah, just a little tired. Forgetting important stuff like everything.

Got home and just laid down. got up, stood up but avoided sitting. well not true, I sat down to upload the ride home and then couldn't get out of the chair w/o paralyzing pain. I didn't sit down again. Did a great job of relaxing the strain, not making it worse until waking up at 3am having somehow rolled over into a position that added extra strain on the muscle/issue and made it worse.

It is fun. Esp going into CX. Need to fix this or send an email to Paully B opening up my spot on the race for someone on the waitlist.

But current mind is kind of wishing I'd brought lunch. or my wallet.

Crazy day, insane in a way, now added extra with the whole not having that key bit of information and currency collection.

Feeling super overwhelmed, even with the meeting. It didn't help refresh, still back at work feeling overwhelmed, too much to do. Too much that is waiting to be scheduled but this week is already packed and I am reluctant to schedule anything next week, but I will and it will also be full, and then there's the van. Those old super rusty spark plugs are starting the mis-fire when cold and at low idle. So I get to drive the van. But we're going to need two cars and well, gonna have to get it fixed. Sometime, somehow. And I need to catch up on sleep. Sometime, somehow. Already cut back on the coffee today. But now have to add an extra hour of driving because I'm a tired dumbass. And now a hungry one too. Extended fasts are really really really good. And I do have a tin of sardines in the drawer here but nothing to eat them with. I'm not THAT hungry.

And now I've been sitting too long, this is going to suck having to stand up and walk down the hall to help with the scope.

oh well, such is life, gotta keep on carrying on

heddwch
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