of feeling good and generally positive. Anxious and stressed at times yes but until yesterday when the feeling started to wash over nothing close to that depressed dark cloud feeling.
Kind of didn't realize it till i felt it creeping in on the edges. the 'smackdown' made it worse, a couple other contributing factors and it just fucking sucks
oh and i got w/in a mile of work, wondered why I hadn't gotten an email notification on the Wahoo from the phone, stopped to check. And yeah, that's why. Phone is at home. fucking awesome.
Esp since everything is 2FA and tied to that (or the other device, that is, of course, also at home).
And yeah it is just a totally familiar and unhappy feeling but at the same time grateful it has been so long since i've felt like this. So gonna keep moving through and try to make it all work.
might need to work on writing up why smackdown and the memorial ride was such a disaster
but I made it home before dark but after sunset, with minutes to spare. But that meant I didn't eat dinner till after 9pm and that was not great.
And today is not great. Users complaining about a scope that i can't get to do anything wrong but they are absolutely convinced it is something with the microscope.
just so close to going hulk smash, so close, but I need to not,
i'm trying but it all just feels so fucking futile
and the efforts and contortions I'm doing to make it all work just all taken for granted
of course everyone is all "you can do it, you always make it work" yeah 'cause i don't have a choice and no one sees the cost.
whatever
back to dealing with everything
heddwch
G
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