reading other blogs makes me remember

 Things that happened that I meant to get down but didn't because I forgot until I read their post.

It would be so much better if everyone was blogging like it was 2008.

Or maybe not. Would certainly change the digital landscape. 

And remember. Jeopardy isn't just a know your answers show, it is a beat two other people with your fast fingers AND know the answer. You might be able to run every category but if you don't ring in first, you won't get that chance.

It was Stevil's post that derailed the train of work. I had it open from much earlier today. Saw that he had posted the link, clicked on it. Let it fester while work got up to speed and in a tiny lull, instead of sending an email, I read it. And here I am. I totally forgot about the hypnosis part of office space, arguably the most critical part and I forgot it. https://allhailtheblackmarket.com/2023/01/life-is-funny/ 

What hit me, was the realization that last night i wasn't falling asleep wondering if I was going to wake up. Haven't since coming home from 'home' in Seattle. 

On the flight we had some absolutely brutal turbulance. Of course it hit just after the drinks and snacks were handed out so suddenly soda was flying and half eaten bags of pretzels were airborne the flight attendant was tossed and he wound up sitting in an empty seat bracing the drink cart hard as we were on some insanely violent ride. 

And I thought, if this is it, well, this is it, I'm okay with that. Sure, there's pretty much never been a plane taken out by turbulent air, I know that. These planes are designed to withstand shit that would scare the crap out of the most stoic passenger. And yeah the pilots don't want to die any more than any of the helpless passengers (usually, hijacking aside). So logically it isn't a big deal. And I KNOW I'm taunting the demons and precariously bringing back the previous state of mind saying this, but since that, that weird moment of calm, I've been much better about that whole death thing. The realization that, much like I posted on my birthday when i turned 50. This is it. There is nothing else. 

Kind of a little bit too deep of a thought maybe. And I'll keep tracking it a bit, but that moment on the plane, a kind of weird hypnotic peace kind of fell over me. 

And it isn't bad.

Hey maybe it is finally feeling a little more rested. Being sick and unable to do much isn't the worst for recovery, but I have slipped a long way. I felt not bad riding with Betty on the 30th, but riding with Syl yesterday, I definitely felt the loss of fitness. 

As I said on the strava comment, I'm looking forward to the riding it will take to rebuilt the fitness lost during the sickness. 

Because it is going to take a LOT.

Okay, back to the grind, coming in a bit later may not have helped my cause of being productive but it was helpful mentally. It was a really nice ride in. Quiet, smooth, pretty much no one else out there. No one going my direction at any speed.

have a fabulous day

heddwch
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