Monday, February 22, 2010

it has been a while

since i posted something like this. Hell I may have posted this before even. But what the hell - see how you do

Your Yearly Dementia Test :


It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.


Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin..

1. What do you put in a toaster?






Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.






2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?








Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.




3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?




Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.





4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany ... Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany ,

Or no man's land'?







Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.






5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to

Milford Haven in Wales .. In London , 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven ..


Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?









Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!!





If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.



PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

8 comments:

Colin R said...

http://emailfromgrandma.com/

gewilli said...

that's what you call it - I couldn't think of what you called these emails so i didn't add it to the top, but you KNOW i posted it just for you Colin.

EyeBob said...

Question:

I just subscribed to gewilli.com on Google Reader.

Will I regret it?

bt

G-ride said...

eyebob - I have no idea what you just said.

oh, and Sabine says "salad" for "lettuce", drives me nuts. Its a euro translation thing she says. How many times must I correct you I say (to myself, quietly).

Also always mixes up stir and steer, but that is just funny, so its ok.

gewilli said...

eyebob, without a doubt you will regret it.

every word you read here lowers your intelligence a good handful of IQ points. Look at G-ride. 4 years ago he was a brilliant Engineer. Now? He's nearly as clueless as I am.

G-ride said...

no, really, its true. dumber by the word. i am sitting here watching a *** and a corpse prancing around on the ice right now.

gewilli said...

g-ride that was not one of my most noble tweets

zencycle said...

just one comment about the test - A green house is not the same thing as a greenhouse.

Greenhouse (noun): a contained structure made of a transparent material used to grow plants.

Green house (house - noun, green - adjective): A house that is green.

The proper answer to the question "what is a green house made of?" is 'something green'. The proper answer to 'what is a greenhouse made of' is 'a highly translucent material that allows a significant amount of the suns radiation to penetrate'. FWIW - greenhouses are rarely made of glass anymore.