anchored to the desk

Broken scopes, field service engineer is supposed to call back... Gloucester reg opens at noon

I crapped out that b-day whiny post earlier and it got to me a bit. Bugs me that it bugged me. Rationally sure, I wasn't hadn't been part of the family that long. Maybe they didn't know when my birthday was. Maybe no one thought it would matter to me.

HAH.

I tried to think about a good birthday. Couldn't.

I do remember one surprise party. It sucked too. Summer after graduation, before heading to college IIRC (brain not working well lately I suppose, must be getting old). I head over to her house. Then one friend shows up. 15 min later another friend, then people that are her friends but never were really my friends showed up, one at a time. They all kept coming and we just were all hanging out in the living room talking. Then people stopped showing up. Each one said some variation of "we were just in the neighborhood and wanted to stop by."

made sense to me. i was a country boy. no one lived anywhere near me, it seemed completely normal that city/suburban folks acted like that.

Turns out they were all hanging out in a parking lot, watched me drive past, then timed their arrival.

They had to tell me it was a surprise birthday party.

I don't like surprise parties.

I relish the anticipation. You know like Cyclocross season. The anticipation is an important part. Knowing it is coming.

Really hate surprise parties. With a passion.

You'd think I'd be happy with ANY party.

Probably not. Forty years of jaded bitterness (okay maybe i wasn't jaded before I turned 10, call it thirty) about this time of year can't be rationalized away.
I know it is all in my head and I'm the one in control, but wow that doesn't seem to help.

Focusing on CX helps. Helps quite a bit. Mostly because I avoid the negative by sticking with the positive.

alright - man i sound like a whiny jackass. sorry about that.

moving on.

maybe busted scope service guy will call back soon... my luck he'll call in the middle of the race for registration.