almost ready

to just pack it in for a while...  frustrating.


Despite setting an incredulous 4th fastest time on Pine street climb (even though I was about 6th over the top and not very close either) i got gapped and that was all she wrote.

sucked. felt good for a bit, not really in trouble and then everyone pretty much rode away from me.  Again I was left in TT mode after the top of Pine. Full out, caught Kyle on Homestead. Pulled for a bit, flicked the elbow for him to come around and sat on his wheel until Rocky Hill.

We were totally in sight of everyone else at that point.  But boom. Done. I couldn't match Kyle's speed on Rocky Hill.

Why? laundry list of reasons.

Anyway it sucked.  Rode in alone.  slowly.  Very slowly.

Got to the office, grabbed the backpack.  Headed home.

Bonked.

Into a 20-25 mph wind.

The temp was near 70 at the start, but by the time i got home here it was 45.  I was minorly concerned about overheating wearing arm warmers and tights at the start, but I am just now warming up 90 min after getting home.

It was just weird.  At the start of the ride the sensations were good.  Claimed the state line even (waited to sprint until after the pot-holed bridge and then made a flying attack in the little CX gears no less).  Rolled along comfortably and patiently into the wind as Tom pulled us along.  Rolled down Broad/Jacob. Turned left on Pine and sat on Tom's wheel. Felt not terrible.  Pace must not have been too shabby, but when Andrew attacked and everyone went with him? I held tempo sort of and just kind of watched them all roll away.  Nothing i could do. Demoralizing.  And a mental set back like that on a day/week/four months is just too much.  I rallied back.  I caught on Kyle's wheel. But that was just running on fumes.

Frustrating.

Do i know what I didn't to to prepare for the ride properly? Absofuckinglutely.  I know and can rattle off the long list of things I didn't do right.  But who wants to hear them. Me spewing them is just a laundry list of excuses, not reasons.  No one reads them as "oh yeah i'll keep that in mind" no they just come across as excuses for falling short.

Point is i know what to do, I know how to get fast, I know what I need to do. I just haven't been able to for many reasons, self imposed by mostly extrinsic. this is maybe what, the 4th non-commute ride I've been on since Ice weasels? maybe 5th. Not sure.  Sunday doesn't count. That was a transportation ride to the farm and back.

Way too much thinking through it all on the ride, identifying every last bit I did wrong.

At least I'm warming up.  I took one non-sprint sprint, did okay up pine. After that? I should have just turned left and headed home instead of right on Homestead.  Maybe next week if i bother to show up i'll do that.

And not being able to shake this cough and cold f'n sucks.  Just turn into a fever and get this shit overwith.

at least i'm a bit relieved my shitty form won't be on display on sunday at RdR.

beer me...  oh no beer?

i'll have water thank you
heddwch
G