only tuesday

was completely bike free.  managed to still spend 4 hours driving around on Wed, but got a few miles in and even the smackdown, sort of in.

Yesterday was pretty brutal on the way home.  On the way in I was a few minutes a head of colleague and so I stopped and grabbed a length of black locust that was cut and felled two or three years ago, well seasoned, bark off, but the lengths are too long for the trailer.  So i cut one in half.

Slowly, this stuff, seasoned is hard. very dense.  Takes a long time to cut, eventually made it through.


Riding home with it, got thinking yeah, maybe all this lumber lugging has made me slow. But damn i have a huge f'n pile of firewood for next year.  Still have to sort out a place to stack it in the back yard.

Lots to contemplate lately, introspect, and try and sort through.  Dog woke me up not too early but well, no going back to sleep this morning despite being super tired.  Just can't.  Maybe that's just part of getting old, or stress.

Everyone's RdR planning is in high gear...  it is hard to watch. Battenkill? yeah whatever.  I'm over that.  Good luck to everyone racing that thing.  One of the prov velo execs wants to do something similar down here this summer.  Might see what we can do on that front.

I've signed up for the Tour De Cure, conflicted a bit in that they are far too focused on the maintenance and education on how to live with Type 2 vs just focusing on eating right and losing the weight before it is too late and you kill the pancreas.  I'm riding to support my cousin who is in charge of the RI race, and to support those with Type 1.  Those two reasons were enough to succumb to the pretty intense pressure to register.  Being the only local family member that rides a bike. well. yeah.  pressure.  100 miles.  Fundraising minimums are met, but now i'm getting the pressure to recruit team mates. Of all the various charity rides the $200 min is pretty low, not tough.  So we'll see how it all winds up.

Not sure how it will play into the C2R3 ride, timing it is pretty much right at that point.  Maybe I can stack that a week later.  The last two weeks of June are out, probably from looking at the schedule might be able to make it happen before the TdC, but kind of funny that.  Ideally I probably would have planned the C2R3 on June 3rd or 4th.  But hey, i rode home in 39 F raining conditions yesterday. Why not ride 100 miles one day and then two days later do 160+ or whatever the C2R3 winds up being.

Mostly because that wouldn't just be insane, it would be dumb.  Can't really deny that this is the year of "oh you were planning on doing that? sorry we can't let that happen."

It is all my own fault.  no one else to blame.  Someone used to chide me with the saying "gotta live with the choices you made" or something to that effect, yeah...  pretty much.  I kind of feel like just heading out for a ride right now, but it is 38F and the wind is pretty strong out of the north.  So fuck that.  Nothing to motivate or incent me into putting the layers required for a ride.

So yeah. I have my hopes up that I'm going to be able to block off the 22nd, and even if the weather is not ideal, I might just say screw it and follow through.  Can only plan it, can't help but be pessimistic about my chances of following through after this recent string of disappointments. And plenty of stress to look forward to, taxes, car, summer...

more uncertainty than i'm able to cope with lately.

but it is what it is, am trying my best, am doing what i can...  gotta carry on, put on a good show.

make more coffee...
sounds about right.

another cup sounds good.
heddwch
G