Smacked down... again

I managed to get out there. For Smackdown.

How could I not. Peng was going to be there, came back for smackdown. Sandy was riding down. Took half day off and rode is bike from Lexington to PVD for the ride. Terry showed up, Andrew, Nick, Brian, bit shock was PKS rolling in and me. We picked up Fox on the far side. Maybe I'm missing a few but man it was big crew for us, and heavily weighted on the 20 something kids who are fast. I thought maybe with Jules being in a van with Alex and Big Tom that maybe the ride would be more sedate than usual. WRONG. Shit Nick even put it on Video.

Detoured because Broadway was a disaster.

We passed Bruce, I lingered long enough to say hi, long enough to get a gap and need to chase back on. Oops.

Prospect wasn't terrible but it was fast. I snuck in and sat behind Sandy as best as I could. Stayed out of the wind.

I loved the click - BOOM SHIFT vs click, maybe shift maybe not of the worn out CX bike I've been riding. I also LOVED the single tooth steps between gears. AND how the bike felt, Except the hoods. coupled with the bars the hoods are just too small and weirdly located.

Knee never gave me a problem the whole ride. Fit was bang on. Bike was brilliant.

But I really did ride more like I was the one hanging up and resting for 3+ years. Not the bike.

I hung on until the turn on Pine. We started up as a group. Then someone decided we should start going even faster than the fast we were going, not to mention it meant going fast up hill (okay only a couple % grade but that's still noticable for 200# of me).

Boom. Sandy let a bit of a gap open, but he also just rode 65 miles after working all morning, Nick Jumped around. Pretty soon Fox went past, and then I went to the front to help pace Sandy, and pretty soon PKS looked back, saw the gap and drifted back.

Years ago he did that for me a couple times, drifted back and helped pace me back in. I told him not to wait this time, to just go. He said nah.

The fast kids with Fox were gone. Buh bye. I just had nothing. Zip. i could generate power, but not as much, and not as long. Fatigue.

It is amazing, remarkable really, how much fatigue and exhaustion factor into stuff.

Anyway - The three of us kind of pacelined it, Sandy and I kind of at our limits, different levels/reasons for fatigue.

But those two kept me from bailing like the week before.

We found Syl after turning off of Hillside to Pine.

Found Peng waiting for us in EP, and we rolled back in.

Syl and I headed home via the new bridge, and we chatted a bit.

It was good to chat. In person. It was less chat and more serious discussion.

Needed though.


the next morning riding in (Yesterday) I wrote something while riding in.

But it has been so crazy I haven't had time to get it off of Keep and into here.

At the moment I'm using my 20min for lunch to catch up on much needed coffee, eat lunch, listen to music, and write this.

What I wrote while pedaling. Is a framework, an outline for a long story in a way. Or a philosophy paper. I don't know if I captured the imagry with the words, but the feeling for me is lingering in there, enough of a reference that they trigger the cascade that my brain fills in all the gaps.

--

The Wave crashed over me, left me laying in the ebb and wash. I can breath. I'm out of the maelstrom... for the moment. But that relief is tempted with the knowledge that another way will be back. Maybe I got washed up with the peak wave at high tide. But the chaos and pressure and madness of the breakers will be back.

unless

Unless I can get up, unless I can pick myself up out of the wet sand and foam.

And do something to get a big further away from the reach of the waves.

I don't know the tides, I've been stuck in the churning chaos for long enough not to have a clue what the wave periodicity is, all I know is I need to do something.

It would be great to have help, for someone who saw me there to come out and carry me to safety. But like in real life most passers by and onlookers are just that, I know, like with everything, I'm going to have to do it myself.

So I have, in a way, done something to claw out of, or at least up, the beach.

I'm sure the sirens will lure me back into the murky depths and confusion of the Sea, but we'll see, maybe I'll keep them at bay a bit longer this time.

one minute to spare

heddwch,
G