race reports far and few between

Time seems to be slipping, slipping

And the future seems to be one where there is little time to write.

Despite still being totally blasted exhausted from this weekend I headed over and lead the indoor ride at NBX on 4th and we did some 3x8 min intervals. A good solid 75 min on the bike. Had to mix it up from last week.

On The Road to Asheville.

Still on it. The Cliff notes to this weekend's pedaling efforts were: run all over the course in big boots all day on Saturday after waking up whikked early, sit down and write women's payout checks so Josh could race, then after the 3/4 race follow Myles around and do course switch over.

"where are the stakes?" way over there. "Okay can you bring them here?" Yup.

"pro-only section is closed, can you bring all that stuff down to the flag pole?" Yup. Not a problem Myles.



Working with Myles and his master plan was fun, we had to sort a few things out, two minor tweaks I feel, kind of hate to say it but, proud that they worked as well as they did and were good tweaks.

Racing on a course you invested all your energy in setting up is all kinds of fun. Yes we used a good shit ton of the Day 1 course but it was different. And we were setting it all up until about 9:30. It is pitch black there at about 4:30. And we went from a big group of people, to a group of 6-8 to a group of four, to finally the last hour or two, just me and Myles. If the leaf blower wasn't out of gas we'd probably have been there longer.

Locked the panel truck up except, well that was a whole side story, crazy circle padlock thing, barely fit wasn't working, Key bent slightly, Myles went to look for another lock, I fiddled with it and got it locked, but then the key broke off inside. Can't leave it like that so then we spent a bit with it, Myles went looking for heavy tools and I fiddled with it and actually got it open and off and we put a different padlock on there.

The drive to Josh's house was me listening to myles laughing watching Colin crashing on the pro only section. He rode the high line but came off way too soon, he needed to have ridden it a bit further to where the transition wasn't so fuck you up level. I watched the Pro-line... a lot. It was were i found Myles when I got there. I wound up being the guy saying Pro Line this way, Not Pro Line this way....  Spent a while looking and scouting it with Meg too. Walked it a bunch, pulled out some devastating roots that were causing major issues early on. But anyway drive home was hearing DESTROYED over and over and over. And then HEY LOOK COLIN POSTED IT TOO!

Late and then i dunno, jacked from the excitement from the day, but then I'd move and legs cramp up and I was wide awake. but I didn't sleep for shit. But then I never sleep well outside my own bed. Why? No practice. Since last year's holiday break I slept not in my own bed three nights I think. One of those was saturday night. The year of no vacations. And one of those nights was a crazy pressure filled packed eval for the grant that didn't get funded, but hey I met Eva Hoffman on the train and she gave me a great book recommendation. So it wasn't all terrible. Anyway.

Sleep was elusive (the rain woke me up or i was awake to hear the rain, one of the two) but awake at 4:30 and ready to go. Coffee at Josh's. Left, we drove to a 24hr diner, got some breakfast wraps, drove to get gas for the leaf blower and we were on site at 6:15am or so. Costa and David B were already there, and Alan was there too. We'd done most everything the night before, so Myles mixed up the gas, filled the tank and fired up the blower and hit the course. I was in a quandry, what to do, pee. right. I had two cups of coffee while waiting for diner food. Not enough coffee. Before I knew it, it was 6:45, race goes off at 9:45, HEY THREE HOUR WINDOW! So I scarfed down the rest of my breakfast. Then Started getting bike together, needed to put Limus on, it was a serious mud tire course. I did a few extra bits here and there for Myles. Got a pre-ride in, then worked the start gate section for the first race. Got almost finished with second lap but then time to do the gates because no one else was there to help. So I helped.

After race start, put course back, bought coffee from coffee guy selling coffee at the venue, and did a bit of other stuff like pin number on wrong side (Costa fixed it for me after his amazing race). Finally time to warm up. And I actually did a proper warm up on the trainer. 20 min steady state, bring heart rate up, core and muscle temp up, then I did roughly a 5 min effort, full recovery, then a 2-3 min really hard high cadence effort and then cooled down. Put B bike in the pit, headed over to start. Lined up. Had meh start, wound up in the back. Just was tired. But also just feeling off a bit. Go figure. Managed to get Mike Robinson in my sights, not sure but I think I usually don't finish behind him but there were sections I was much better on and sections he was better on and I only managed to reel him back and finish just behind. We did ride through lots of people who blew up and went to hard at the start. So that was a positive. Also the mud and the climbing and all the running shredded my legs. Saturday night my quads were locking up 4-5 times maybe, full painful lock. Sunday night once i got home my hamstrings were fucked and locked up a good number of times before I fell asleep.

So the race. We've got Roger and Mike Y starting 15-20 seconds ahead and I knew my biggest goal and challenge, given my week of being sick, the stress from the work the day before and the lack of sleep was to stay on the lead lap. That was the goal. THE GOAL. And I MADE IT. So stoked. I tried to catch and pass Mike R but that didn't work.

The course was awesome. So good. So really really really good. Myles gets it. He really does.

The race is really one of the best courses in the Northeast. Put it on your calendar.

Yes not close to New England but I spent less time in the car this weekend than I do on Gloucester weekend.

Tonight I got in the trainer session and it was tough, but survivable. Legs are feeling good and shredded. Sticking to the Negacoach plan for the road to Asheville.

Also. Maybe you might consider buying some prints? I put together a few Paypal buttons and stuck links to the images/prints for sale. $40 shipped. Click over to the public Nanoscape Facebook page prints make great gifts ;) or something. I guess in part it is a way to make my trip to Asheville possible. So many unknowns. Honestly not sure how it is going to work to reg and find housing and all that. But Faith I have. Not in some invisible support structure, but mostly faith in the hard work that I'm putting in, both in training plan and everything else. Side work, prints. The new collection of stuff is going to be exciting. Super exciting. Except that when am I going to get on the scope to image them? WHO KNOWS. Prelims def before holidays, even if only a few of the samples. Anyway, $40 is on par, not cheapest for the print size, not most expensive by a long shot, one print costs about the same as a race and lasts way longer.

I did sent off a couple today so that is great progress, huge appreciation to Fox and JLS for their support and purchase of prints. Means so much, really appreciated, can't really express the gratitude i have for your support.

So many awesome aspects of life moving in such good directions. I did get sucked into looking at holes, missing the lattice. But this hole is less a hole and more a broken film, curling back under the beam. Transmission Electron Microscope analogy again. Everytime any attempt to discuss, expose, examine fix this problem... well it makes it worse. Caught, stuck in the frustration. No way for me to fix it. Sort of like unexpectedly being handed a Sausage King Sausage after a long day w/little food and no expectation of getting one but it being the most perfect thing and most thoughtful thing ever. Moments like that for me are rare and far between.

This weekend was pretty damn close, I did work it, work for it, asked if Myles could find a place for me to sleep (he did) Josh comp'd my reg entry (hopefully I did enough in return for the value - but it was needed and appreciated because I had no way to pay for it otherwise, yes, that's how tight it is around here, timing gets to the point of not being able to reg because paychecks haven't hit the bank yet). So such deep and grateful appreciation to Myles and Josh and the rest of the Kissena gang who gave a shit and helped, guys like Mark B, Jeff, and the rest who's names I'm forgetting but I worked with side by side in the muddy trenches.

This past weekend was awesome. And no way should I have come back and detonated a mental health grenade but I did. The drive back was a massive struggle. Would have been easier with company but it was just me. And I struggled. Even broke down and drank a red bull early on in the drive when 287 seemed fuzzy. Was burping it the rest of the drive, and yes, it has a very distinctive burp taste. But the drive was the drive, maybe looking forward to something and then ... nope... sort of pulled the pin. And I couldn't get it a safe distance away before it detonated. Still picking mental shrapnel out, still not totally good. But better, focusing on other things, staying positive was tough last night esp with the twitter bullshit of well the new england 'it is too far to drive' complaining. Sometimes yes, that is my excuse, but usually when used I have another closer option or I just flat out don't have the finances to make that commitment/drive, and more often than even that I don't have the time to make it work, all with trying to get the kids where they need to be.

Total GeWilli stream of babble and bullshit.....  Eco-cross and Monstah? I dunno, Monstah sucked, great people putting it on but it kind of honestly sucked. Eco-Cross was opposite, except it was still put on by great people but it was the most awesome ever. It kicked my ass.

My results sucked from Sunday's SupercrossCup but I'm so happy with them. It is a journey, I think I'll try and get up to Fitchburg just to race. Love the promoter, not so much the venue but it is the only game in town and it is on the road the Asheville.

Yeah it is late, I'm super exhausted. Long day today, stress and fun and stress and workout and hang out for a few with Syl and Dr Flats after it. Should sleep but fear of not sleeping sometimes, lately is mentally pushing me to push to the point where i know i'll instantly sleep, not wallow in wondering when i'll fall asleep.

Yes - maybe not most positive and yes I should work on that, but also being honest and recognizing me and the struggles.

Also - can't thank Negacoach enough for his feedback this past week and help planning the eight weeks leading up to Nationals. Thank you sir. Thank you. the end of this year will set up next year and hopefully I can build on it all for underwater nats in Hartford (which will have alternate venue declared a week before and alternate venue will either be at the Supercross course or at Riverpoint Park here in little Rhody.

Yes. I can talk for hours. My brain is full of words. So many words. So many don't make it out.

More time I need to write but time i have not.

life

changes/changing

okay

now to figure out if i do some tempo/threshold work tomorrow and short intervals on thursday...  i think that makes the most sense. can't be too lax, also need to reg for sunday. Also hey taking a whole day off then actually working at work on work stuff (handful of scope issues and other stuff) means what? I'm an idiot for working on my day off? or I give a shit so much that i'll sacrifice personal time for the good of everyone who uses it all...

dunno

mostly i think i'm just a big tall stupidhead, a major disappointment.  Never satisfied, never settle, always work towards the betterment of others regardless of personal cost.

heddwch
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