Simply put Nutcracker and my kids. Also the recognition that I will not get to hang out with them for over a week, and wanted to help take some of the load off and stress off of my Wife's shoulders. With kid's soccer game starting just as the Masters race at Scrubzone finished and my wife working all day at the Nutcracker as a volunteer, well - easy choice. Besides, it was suggested that I ease back into fitness after the long trip to seattle where we played lots of music, drank lots of beer and got pretty much no sleep and ate not a whole lot of food, and well jumping back into a CX race a couple days later still majorly sleep deprived seemed to be on the less than smart side of the equation.
Then the realization that Sandwich wasn't close, and would burn the whole day, and while I had the time, it would mean time I wouldn't be spending getting everything done yesterday that I needed to get done. Like ripping the PDX off. It came off, glue mostly scrapped off and Fango holding air stretching. I'll get what ever glue I have on hand tonight on there and finish up tomorrow evening. So yeah. Bike not ready to race plus so much other stuff made missing Sunday easy too.
But I got a couple decent workouts in. Focus on high quality, high intensity but backing off duration so as not to push too far into major recovery requirements. I can do this. Maybe.
Busted shit fixed here today, other things sorted and managed, life goes on, work goes on, work need to be here though.
But it is slower than it has been since maybe this time last year, quiet again. More normal paced, minor quick interruptions instead of two 3 hr trainings or longer advanced trainings sessions interrupted by requests for help and scheduling the next set of sessions. AKA as other people call it work. But multi-threaded totally wishing, and finally recognizing that I could be much more efficient and get way more work done if I had an assistant to help deal with the schedule end of everything, but no, just me. All me.
More downtime and habit started the last couple days means turning to the blog I guess. Re-firing the writing. Not for the better of you but for me, this blog has always been a place for me to vent, the fact that anyone reads it is kind of still odd. I don't promote it the way a handful of the others still hanging on to the dead art of web logging (like Chip and Marc or Stevil) but that's never been my style I suppose. I'll get a [not so] random bump from Negacoach or VeloCB and maybe see a spike in traffic. But so yeah.
To throw back here's a couple links:
http://www.twincities.com/entertainment/ci_29269935/you-dont-have-believe-believe-christmas
GK at his best. I do identify with his father, bah humbug, no money, why waste on that. Unfortunately I don't always wind up as his parable does, happy. No, this is a whikked stressful time of the year for me. Anxiety triggers looming everywhere. Triggers of frustration at not having the resources to make it super magical for those I care about, triggers of past loss, mine and others. My grandmother died on Christmas Eve many years ago. My mother was at her mother's bedside in LA until Christmas Eve, when she got off the plane and came home, she got the call. We still had christmas, it was just very emotional, and then we all loaded up and flew to the funeral. After Christmas in cold dark wet dreary Seattle, LA before New Year's Day was a major shock to the system. There other losses, either fully realized at this time or something else. And other's losses. More sadness than joy for me I guess, more stress than happiness.
There's the knowing that the one or two things that I'd just absolutely flip out over that would erase all the everything with joy to be surprised to open has yet to happen. But then it is probably best that it doesn't. If the gift of one of Durrin's sausages brings me to tears, imagine what something more lasting would do? #Emo.
Well damn that really wasn't the tangent I was planning on. Thanks a lot Garrison.
Here lets switch to this: http://velocb.blogspot.com/2015/12/stevil-ride.html you should go do this ride if you're in town. I'll be transitioning to Nats, aka still down south. Also, oddly funny, the man who single-handedly brought the orange jumpsuit to cycling in the early 90s is kind of paralleling my slow working around into more positive mindset. Phrases like Optimism is the new Pessimism. Same bite same edge but different, and better for us, but then we're both older than we were back then, not that we're the same at all. Not at all. And the only tie in to me and the orange jumpsuit is Vardaros suggesting it back in '06? for G-ster I think. or I dunno... maybe it was '07. I forget, doesn't seem like that long ago but it was that long ago.
Oh well. Too many words, not much said. Life is strange eh?
heddwch
G
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