Again, not the best sleep, something's off, mostly the fact that i woke up at 2am with the start of a caffeine withdrawal headache, at 2am, because I stopped drinking coffee early in the day, drank a lot even earlier and then thought it would help me sleep.
I mean I fell asleep earlier but ooh that was not good. Before the headache my biceps woke me up, i guess they didn't like the nordic pocket sawing we did. Three guys on the other side, just me on the one. too much. then added singlespeeding - so waking up with that periodically then the headache... oooooof
Finally up, coffee, took kid to school, first day. Took a selfie with them, came home. Drank more coffee, made a couple omelet pockets (couple eggs, cheese, taco/burrito meat wrapped in tortilla) one to eat then and one to eat on the ride - or after. Back of my head says eat extra protein to help with muscle soreness and repair. Also planning on riding relaxed pace so no need to power breakfast. Also ate a good pile of pizza the night before.
So while that first one was cooking i posted up the photo of the two of us, my 'little' kid (she's 6' tall now) I checked the rest of the stories.
And saw one with this quote posted in one of those sharing post quote things that mix in with all the pretty photos of bikes and landscapes:
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”
― Henry David Thoreau
And I pretty much had a full visceral panic attack, absolutely out of the blue. Heart rate spike, dermal flush, queasy, hot flash, like full on hormonal physical reaction to those fucking words.
WORDS!
And really nothing new.
So many friends, just gone, but not that many? But somehow, even right now thinking about it, I get a small reaction, still.
the ending tag is the one that just drives it home like a dump truck.
Is that what it means to turn 50?
to have made it half a century, to realize just how long a span of time that is? And how precious this life is?
Does it have to do with the pandemic and the really truly unfathomable loss of life? Or is there guilt from feeling nothing for the anti-vax and science doubters that succumb to complications? Or what?
Not sure but that was really unexpected.
I also got a call last night from the BarringtonPD, they found the license plate that got ripped off unknowningly when my wife drove it through some high water in Warren. It was found in a car in a stop... so just after eating the first omelet pocket, in the midst of recovering from that and before heading out for the birthday ride I picked up the plate, and also maybe not intentionally the whole report from last night too.
Rushed around, saw the pic of Fox putting sunscreen on before the ride home from the soccer tournament in 2014 (i rode up there and had a couple awesome escorts, Myette and Cort) and realized I needed to do that. Finally rolled out and into town to meet up with GOLDBERG who very graciously offered to put the middle part of his day on hold to ride at least 50 miles with me and stop at the Ice Cream Barn for ice cream.
Ride was good, really good. Had a stupid strong headwind for a long stretch and then we turned and rode uphill. Finally to the ICB, I ate WAY too much ice cream, and slowly made it home. I had wanted to be really chill and relaxed but headwind and hill and all that and it was more work than planned.
I was tired. Even took a little bit of a nap even after making a quick aeropress that I drank after the shower watching Fox Dialed and other stuff on u toob.
opened a few cards before the nap, talked on the phone a couple times, got one present a ridiculously cool James pocket knife.
after the nap i started making dinner - didn't consult anyone, just sautéed some mushrooms, made some collards (hot salad style with garlic, shoyu and balsamic) and burgers. Was done just after they all got back home.
Ate, chilled for a bit, made some ice cream and ate it with some chocolate cake and went to bed sort of early (tired - a theme I keep repeating).
Overall a good day. one of the better days... ate way too much ice cream and didn't do too much, short ride but just long enough.
There's smackdown tonight, def not as recovered as I was after the Hurricane came through but we'll see what happens.
eating leftover sunday pizza for lunch, could be a really bad idea for smackdown, esp as much as I just ate... whoops
Riding that 11 year old bike. That black blue norcross ex,,, hasn't worn out - or broken yet
Also wearing new helmet. Tired of the wavecell extra heat so I'm running one of the cheapest MIPs vented ones from bontrager - also it is matte white. but fits pretty well and with special discount really pretty affordable.
Since quitting playing those games on my phone the battery is lasting way longer but i still grab it, look at the few social apps and get bored quickly and put it back down... getting more shit done but still not enough.
Oh and the knee is slowly getting better. Slowly. And that's good.
Amor Fati Motherfuckers
G
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