hit a new level of uncontrolled

Freakout.

So y'all know the gallery has been on my mind for a long time. Right?

Well yesterday got one email of concern, sent a email to about timing and planning and when I could be down there and asking about the metal prints.

That first email kid of set it off. And the lack of response by the end of the day together a full flight anxiety overwhelming situation in my head. I need to remember this when I don't really to emails right away. That said, as much as I went through the logic of being patient, waiting for the reply, plenty of reasons not to have heard back right away... I still couldn't quell the panic, kept waking up. Dreamt about it. Stressed about it. 

First email maybe is the key here. The printer, my guy, the one I trust for all the work, who does good stuff, hadn't gotten paid yet. It's been a while. Too long. So that maybe explains a little of the panic. Give any overthinking worst case imagining person (me) those two bits of info and what are you going to expect? So half my thought processes are 'how can I generate that much $ to pay for it myself, I mean arguably maybe I should have but when someone says they want to pay for the printing, generally you let them. It isn't cheap, these things are large. Easy option just sell the prints in the show but that means taking them out. Second option start selling prints, will take a lot to make up the total the way I did with the 14x19 or what ever size those $40-60 prints... Or go larger, but def fewer people can afford the larger ones esp since printing costs are up significantly since last time I did this.

Maybe I should have gotten this out last night instead of sleeping on it. Writing here helps, like usual.

But still doesn't change anything. 

Doesn't resolve the issue.

And I've been basically changing my plans for the last how many weeks to accommodate others or to disappoint others so I can remain functional to be able to help others. 

Writing on my phone like this is slow, one word swyped at a time.

So yeah, initial plans to take a day off this week? Yeah, that didn't happen. 

And now it's raining Andi have to get in early to start dealing with all the broken bits, the plans, the challenges and find solutions.

It's exhausting even in a good night's sleep.

Heddwch

G