Rise and fall

 title is a riff on a thought I've been having, how IG has tied up small businesses completely as a place for them to contact customers, FB less so but also so, twitter was similar and some still try to use it like that. 

Social media marketplace or a way of keeping in contact in the current situation we're in. 

but it seems that the influencer thing is failing, but maybe only because I've completely tuned it out? Sure I pop up some stuff with the nordic pocket saw but that's a balanced relationship, we're both benefiting, although they haven't had any amazon returns come back to me in a while, good in that maybe no one is returning stuff, or also good in that they are selling more direct... 

Rise and fall of other stuff. Fitness, health more specifically.

Almost put together a short post on the microblog site of choice as of late but thought better of it. 

Last week was huge. Even for in shape me. 8 days in a row, heavy AM headwinds, bitter cold, three days in the woods on the MTB. Saturday I woke up dizzy again, ears a bit stuffed, balance fucked. Still went riding in the woods. But holy shit i was tired. 

Saturday proceeded to wear me down, tired as fuck, still pulled off dinner. Plans to drive to CT Sunday were suddenly questionable. Woke up much the same as the day before, but more tired. Opted to stay home, to really work on doing very little. Monday woke up better but similar, light dizziness, tired. Took it slow, but while tired not feeling as bad. Woke up this morning almost normal. Tired but barely any dizziness.

Kind of like what I had around Lowell. 

Last week I also added two 2k meter rows. Second one not an easy one. I had planned to get on in this morning. Wanted to, it seems to be paying some benefits, definitely helping my back and the added intensity and strength isn't a bad thing. BUT. As much as I wanted to it seemed a much better idea to recover more completely. To pause and maybe tomorrow or thursday get back on for a quick tune up.

Been getting a few photos here and there, want to take more but haven't had a chance to go for a walk outside. 

I'd like to go check on the gallery install process, a piece I submitted is going in the group show here at work, a show for staff. I'd like to just go for a walk. I'd like to ride over to get a photo of the old sunken crane on the navy barge in the port before it gets removed (i guess they are going to start doing that this week).

I'd like to find something to occupy and distract this overwhelming feeling of fear and worry and concern with the direction things are headed. 

I'd like to find the time and space to be better rested, not always two big rides away from making myself sick or disfunctional from fatigue. 

I'd like a lot. But will have to settle and make due with what I can. And that's going to be okay.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

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