more throwback

But first this - I posted it other places, saw it on Twitter and well you've probably ready it already, but it is good (if you can suspend the notion of privilege at being able to retire at my age, travel all over the world at the drop of a hat and do cool shit). Perhaps we can't all do this level of cool shit but, the stoke from the Coast to Coast and Freetown 50 are mine and that's where the following statement came from:

this resonates quite a bit... and it is true... and I think i need to do some more Marathon Mt bike riding:

https://cyclingtips.com/2019/10/my-year-of-riding-everything-a-lesson-in-self-discovery-and-fun/

Fast forward to this morning's open tabs.

This caught my eye over at BikePortland:
https://bikeportland.org/2019/10/03/united-bicycle-institute-is-leaving-portland-305608

In june 1990 i drove myself after an all night graduation party to Ashland. I got pulled over on the way there. Had a can of coke on the dashboard, wasn't staying between the lines because I was looking at the map and trying to do math in my head for how much longer of a drive it was going to be. Oregon state trooper was nice and told me some sort of fatherly advice kind of stuff and sent me on my way.

over 29 years after hanging out in Ashland on the top floor of a two floor commercial building with the 'dorm' we stayed in a few doors down from the school I'm still using lots of the knowledge and skills accumulated that session from Ron Sutphin.

One a different tack, https://pvcycling.wordpress.com/
Seth there has been knocking it out of the park for a while.

Very good shit.

I've been posting a bunch of no handed vidoes and stuff on IG stories lately. last night's feed post was this

Yup...

riding no handed - taking a photo no handed even!

MAGIC - yes I used my phone. And yes I is a trick I learned from Todd P. Turn on self timer, hold phone with teeth, click and pose and wait and TA DA magic.

That ties in pretty well with Seth's web log post up there now.

--- so if podcasts are your thing and pedaling and exercise and understanding how shit works is also your thing head over and give the lastest Emperical Cycling episode a listen. They even bring up microscopes. Lots of good primary literature as well as great discussion.

Racing Night Weasels tomorrow. Singlespeed. Hoping for mud. don't think we're gonna get it. We'll see.

Okay - coffee break is over. back to the whirlwind insanity.

heddwch
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speaking of memories

A few photos from the Colorado trip exactly 2 years ago...

memories and remembering

Way back in '14 life changed quite a bit.

Many reasons, many changes. An attempt to reboot and recover. From external and emotional injuries. With the blown bursa and recovery that led me to reform the pedal stroke and invent custom do it yourself insoles came not the power I wanted but the time off the bike set me back too far I suppose, an unrecoverable amount. But then it was also the beginning of the really non-stop drinking, the beginning of what might have been the end if not for the current new new.

More to the point though one of the biggest changes was moving my Dad out of his house in MD where I spent summers growing up in and many mid-year holidays at while in college and beyond. He and my then step mother were pulling up and moving full time to Colorado. To his place out there. He'd used it as a summer home base for the art shows he would go around to with his gords and weaving and art. It is what he did, what kind of defined his post retirement life.

The drive out was well documented, perhaps mostly on other social medias. He was already slowing down and had a slight tremor but was fully functional and in control but not quite his old self.

The town he moved to probably couldn't have been much more remote, and that was absolutely on purpose. It had a community, one he fit in with well. Mountain men, hunters, artists, tough souls right where they want to be. It wasn't a young town. But it definitely was his place. He won the Hollyhock contest year after year with his meticulous cultivation and variety in front of his place.

But that remoteness probably contributed significantly to his more accelerated decline. I only went back out once more before he left. My brothers went out and packed him off to Kingston WA last august (2018). Too far form the high end medical care he needed, the local stuff wasn't equipped for more complicated issues, so much so that his condition was mis-diagnosed and the drugs made it worse.

Once he left suddenly trips to the in-laws were just that. it meant not having to drive an hour + around the beltway, but it also meant not seeing him at the normal holiday times. it meant not going in Saturday to hang out with him at his table at the Alexandria Farmer's Market.

The San Luis valley is amazing. I'm glad I got to go back. I'm glad I endured the taunting of my brothers for taking so many damn pictures. Because I have the photos, not just memories. Photos of specific lines of mountains from a specific place. Sure I remember the drive in, how it looks. But pulling up one of the photos unlocks memories more vividly.

Soak in the beauty around you. Don't take pictures of everything some people say. And yes, perhaps I agree there is something to just being there, the pressure and reliance on just being there in the moment. But don't deny that having a visual cue, a snapshot, no matter how blurry, or crooked is a treasure not to be taken lightly.

The IG shots of the sunset on my bike path, for me when I look at my feed, it takes me immediately back there. I'm not just looking at the picture, I'm recalling everything about taking the photo most of the time. Over time though the memories blend, and perhaps I won't remember that one specifically but the merging and combination of similar memories all together.

When Gregory Alan Isakov's song San Luis pops up on a youtube video playlist, and even now on a Pandora playlist... the views and melody brings me back to the couple times I was in the high mountains of colorado. And the vanagon of course is a childhood icon, road trips upon road trips.



some memories get lost, and only found when you rewatch something like Pure Sweet Hell. And you listen to Mike F utter his perfectly crafted phrases, or Pineapple Bob ramble on drunkenly about DFL... and you're reminded of the good times.

And for the briefest flash, you have to recognize that you got one particular current pro into this crazy sport and that should be a bright spot. And maybe it could be some day. It will be.

I'm not the hero in my own story, I'm not a hero in anyones story. Kent's post about Sven's book, and one of the quotes about novels and why we should read them resonates a bit. Remember life is a journey. Being a guide is pretty selfless. And calling yourself one feels uncomfortable but sometimes taking a set back and recognizing those who've guided you here, and those you've helped along the way isn't the worst thing. To find out much later how big of an impact you had on students, the quiet students who I'd never suspect.

There are daily reminders to be kind, helpful and selfless. In both positive and negative...

I've got to remember what it really hooked me and made Mike's phrases resonate so deeply...

But I also need to make sure I hit the marks that Mayhew talks about. Racing tired is not fun. I mean it is better than not racing but triggers a bunch of bad shit. What does that mean? It means resting. Being fresh. Something I've been struggling with. A. Lot.

I rode hard in this morning. Made my legs hurt, pushed that big heavy slow singlespeed as hard as I could. paused for a bit then pushed it again. Might do something on the way home in the rain but then I might actually not do much else until the race. I did a ton of work on the bike on Sunday, and felt reasonably recovered by yesterday, the effort this morning felt good, not forced, not slow, there were some watts being made. It is a process. I have to remember to hit the marks, i have to be deliberate.

heddwch
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Pure Sweet Hell is on Vimeo

Once you race cross it is hard not to...

Pure Sweet Hell from (((vernor))) on Vimeo.

This is the film.

Have you seen it before? No? Then watch it. Sure it isn't a short little thing, but it is good, the stars and the icons in the film are from the previous era and it was arguably different then, but the essence hasn't changed much, most of the people involved are still involved. The sport has changed. We have Crossresults now. There's official categories now.

But.

It is still cyclocross.

I just wish it wasn't so damn hot.

Weather should be much better for saturday. But single speed CX on the side of a ski hill, yeah could be the best/worst idea ever. Might be wet. Might be time to try the grippy tires.

Been a bit nutty today.

But legs didn't feel terribly this morning. Rode the singlespeed. But I also had a tailwind. Perhaps those are related.

Not sure about tomorrow - perhaps I'll drive and head to the CX training race. Not sure. Perhaps I'll just try and do my own workout. maybe it is time to put the trainer bike back on the trainer, pedals, where am I going to steal pedals from for that...  hmm.

Check out https://chasingmailboxes.com/2019/09/22/coffeeneuring-challenge-starts-october-11-2019/

Maybe that's a good separate not bike race challenge to strive for.

Figures though - i sit down to write and boom all hell breaks loose today. Fun times.

heddwch
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All the rocks

Squelch the anxiety by ticking things off the list, aka actually doing them.

Some are not in your own control. Like the gd garbage disposal.

But with a weekend of no racing and a really shitty outlook going into it on Friday, well, yeah action items.

Buy spark plugs for the van. Dug out the old ones (keeping busted/used shit is good sometimes) ordered the exact same ones that came out from Advance, used the online coupon and yeah probably should have bought these in the beginning but the previous plugs were cheap and should have worked.

Order placed, made another coffee. Drove to the appliance place, it was busy - one of the hire ups on the chain came out to help, I explained how long I had waited and that I have time this weekend to get it done and if it isn't here I'd like to cancel the order and get my money back so I can move on. Turns out "it came in yesterday." Uh huh. Well they had it and I walked out with it. Check that off the list.

Swung by the shop, said hey. No pressing builds, besides larry was there and while he's slow and easily distracted and not perfect he's not the worst, and could build one if needed.

Picked up the plugs.

Headed home.

Changed the plugs.

Car started no problem.

Nice. Phew. Weight off.

New disposal follows the current code. All kitchen appliances now must be plugged in. I guess having plumbers do wiring wasn't a good thing. And yeah the old one was hardwired. Damnit should have gotten a box while I was out.

Well I wasn't going to test drive the van but hey guess what, test drive to Lowes.

Get $4 in parts. Van seemed to start better, ran smoother. So that's good right?

Wired up the junction box, hooked the new disposal up.

Action item number 2 done.

Watched MI something or other with E while eating dinner, pizza, i was tired and they wanted pizza and that works for me, not much to cook anyway, I didn't do the shopping.

Made plans with Syl and Steve and Fred to ride Big River sunday.

Got up later than planned and wound up getting there a bit late for the ride.

Didn't eat much but ate something. Two bottles of Skratch was not quite enough for the 3.5 hours elapsed time. And I think I might have been more tired after that much time in Big River than I was doing the Freetown 50. Hands def more wrecked.

I am not as fast as smooth as those three but I held my own and was able to ride most everything. I walked one really tough section I'd never seen before but rode pretty smoothly in another super technical one.

And then after that I went shopping. Grocery shopping with muddy shins. Different level of fatigue.

Went home and actually watched some football for the first time this year. Then worked on food.

Sleeping fitfully lately was feeling pretty good this morning but by the end of the first traininig session on the scopes the fatigue has caught up. Or I'm slowing down.

Mt biking is fun, and these long sessions are kicking my butt in a good way. I feel sore all over but back and the rest is feeling great. No issues. Grip strength was pretty much zero yesterday, hands are tired.

Well... not too much left on the long lingering list. Just the P0420 code on the volvo to deal with.

And somehow get enough recovery to go have fun at Night Weasels on Saturday.

Better eat lunch before the 1pm training session starts, gonna need some energy.

heddwch
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aggregate

brought it up before, but aggregation is a thing, often interesting to come across something somewhere and the see it pop up totally different place a few days later shared by someone else.

Even when I didn't share it here.

That knitting project.

This robot film may not make other highlight reels or aggregate somewhere else but it was time well spent. I suppose. Perhaps not but, I'm relishing that uninterrupted stretch of time.

Rust in Peace from Will Welles on Vimeo.
Savoring the moments being left alone. The machines working as they are supposed to, not complicating their users progress, not confounding them to the point of needing my intervention.

That's the nature of support, no? Best to be there, good not to be needed but critical to be there when you are.

listening more to Frank Turner

this week at least....

I Am Disappeared  just played...

Drove the van today. Time to start addressing the problem I've been not making a highest priority until this week. Called on Tuesday, driving it down to have the pros take a look at it.

Open all tabs has been dry this week. Blogs really are dead. Me and Stevil?
Not many, if any others. At least he has a compelling story and a timeline and something that is happening that most of us our age aren't doing. Driving around in your car riding bikes, making art, connecting and searching.

The news is dramatic, many are stoked at the start of the process, I don't know, it should have happened a long time ago, happy it is happening at all but end game is pretty fucking dire. There's a pathway to dismantle the whole fucking mess, but what a fucking mess.

Slap some music on the wall

Just realized the connection between music and the stimulation for writing.. had meant to start a holy shit what is going on post, but decided to hit the open tabs and cycle through the web pages between emails and scheduling.

hit this set of mashups - actually the first one before this but i like this one a little better, both good - find the other one if you want

but

that music thing, an invitation to play, to jam... also to ride bikes, in the woods...

Recovery how does it work

Life stress + commuting + racing is a tough balance.

Working two jobs also stress - the stress of one being flexible but occasionally really demanding and the other fitting in when it can but then always stressing about trying to make sure to fit enough in of #2 to keep it steady. Failed on that this week.

Failed to recover this week. Wed night was probably a bad idea. It was fun, but probably a really bad idea.

The heat yesterday was the final crushing blow. I'm usually pretty good in the heat, but i wore a throwback jersey (bad idea early 90s coolmax even white is not very cool) and it was blazing sun and some people's GPS were saying 100°F in the sun.

I got some decent course preview in, opened up the legs a bit, felt not terrible on the warm up. Food prep was good, hydration was good, so good that I had to bounce in my seat in the car in the stop and go traffic for the 10 min it took me to get from bolton orchards to the venue. Too hot to pre-ride in the orange jumpsuit, way too hot, bad sign. Chatted with folks, put a hold on two things of #Pastryweight ice cream, got my number pinned on, chatted with Keith B about rowing, again, he forgot about the last time we did, probably was MRC last year.

Lined up, 10 min in the grid, in the baking sun before we started. Normally zoom, I can start really well. Usually WAY too well, aka wind up in the I don't belong here section, ride there, blow up, recover, finish.

Yesterday I had my worst start kind of almost ever. I was giving it everything but it was well short of normal. Strange. Should have figured something was off at that moment, but I just pedaled as hard as I could. But the normal slow starters were already way in front of me, I put together a decent first lap, not a good one, but not the worst, then tried to keep that going for the second but it became too much, stomach started feeling queasy (my stomach never feels like it wants to hurl, this was a first) couldn't get legs going fast enough to get lungs engaged and while i forgot the HR strap again, i think my HR was depressed, never got that high. I even raced with a bottle, half a bottle of water, took a sip to rinse the dust and clear the junk in my mouth once a lap.

I wasn't the only one having problems with the heat but man it wrecked me. Took that throwback jersey off and found a spot in the shade with a very light breeze and started to cool down. The sun was pretty intense.

My legs felt like i put in a fantastic effort, like they worked really hard, but results were abysmal. I did stay on the lead lap, thanks to a long lap. The course was fun, Gary and John did a great job promoting, Jake's ice cream was awesome, had some apple crisp after I changed. Gary gave me a pound of coffee beans for having the oldest kit, and then a half gallon of cider (he got them for podium prizes but they forgot to give them out for most of the races), so not terrible.

Chatted with Aumiller for a long time, also Cole, and Gary, and Kieth and LarryP, lesli too.

But I was off - took a long time before I started feeling functional again.

Recovery? What's that. Harris just said, don't ride your bike. Rest. But the commute, e-bike FTW. I need more recovery than I'm getting I think, can't go as hard as I need to because I'm too tired and carrying too much fatigue.

Story of my life eh?

E got up to go guide this morning, I begrudgingly woke up, but pretty soon fell back asleep with two dogs in bed with me, didn't wake up until she got back at 11:30am.

I had thought maybe I'll do the grocery shopping in the morning then get to the shop by noon and work till 5 come home make dinner and....  here I am, only on my second cup of coffee at 1:30pm. That plan is out the window. New plan.

New plan? New plan is to start by stopping off at the PVD location, figured out why I was asked to do stuff up there, DiPinto has been relocated up there for the winter. I also found out that Dereck Fish killed himself thursday night in Arcadia. He was found Friday morning. I didn't know him very well, but connected with and liked him. Now he's gone. A rough cap to the week, So PVD location, grocery shopping, stop in to EP on the way home maybe, but I need to recover. Building bikes, working in the shop, I def enjoy but it isn't recovery.

I'm not living much like an athlete, heck got home, unloaded the car, then went to pick up the kid after her dance. Only was able to get into the shower to get the dust off at 10:30pm last night.

As hard as I tried, I was unsuccessful at keeping a day open this coming week. Sept may be the month I lose vacation days.  October is almost here, the seasons are rolling through, the days ticking by...

What's the next race? Dunno, will see. Maybe I need a weekend off. I'm very happy not to be racing today, but feeling a little stress at not working, trying to tell myself it is okay to do what I need every once in a while. I need a day off. Racing is a day for me but it isn't a day off. Working isn't a day off...  Haven't had one in a long time.

Rambling I suppose, should finish coffee, decide if i want another cup and then head out and restock the fridge.

My whole body is tired, it makes sense, singlespeed is a full body thing. But I need to listen a bit more, need to not feel this way, need to figure out how to recover. I had two invites to go MTB'n today, it was tempting and as much fun as it would have been, it would have double wrecked me.

I feel good about the new plan for today, just kind of need a few more like it. I suppose it would be different if I came home everyday to someone else making dinner, and i could just relax...  but nope. As Steph always used to say "The choices you made..."

and here we are...

here I am...

I'm glad I lined up and finished the race yesterday, I'm feeling good about today so far, I wonder if i can get everything done and back here before the World Cup, thinking not so much. But maybe it is better if I don't watch them race.

heddwch
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musical interlude

here ya go... something different for a friday afternoon



Had a grad student stop by my office distraught.

Has tweaked the afternoon a bit cloudy, abuse of power, manipulation to set someone out to fail.

tough spot - listening but not being in a position to do more than support the person.

was going to leave early but haven't had a break until now, and now i'm tired.

shop wants me to go to the other location that's a bit out of the way, not sure about that, had plans to head up to one and then the other on the way home - thinking maybe not...

Had a long talk with my mother and my brother driving last night. Left with lots to think about.

racing bikes tomorrow though...  busy day - but not physically exhausting.

If the legs aren't there tomorrow, it doesn't really matter. Will be fun to see what happens, to race, to be there, to finish where I belong. To be comfortable with as fast as I am, to be happy. Because it is fun, maybe not as fun as Freetown 50, but it might be, it is a different kind of fun anyway.

Well shit - 40 min meeting later and here I am. still here. not for long though.

well fuck it is now 5pm

have a good friday night mofos

heddwch
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short but on point

I think Nolan gets it right.

odd being the one power washing mud off her bike and then herself at NBX, it was a strange request to be asked to powerwash a petit powerhouse from california btw.

but this is pretty f'n cool: https://www.cxmagazine.com/rider-diary-caroline-nolan-2019-jingle-cross-world-cup

privateers are the sport in the US, but her words, esp a couple feel like I've said them, because i have.

She was solo, but not alone.

Tired today - scheduled totally fucked up and tossed and jumbled.

another thing that caught me was Suds IG post about google dictating what we read rather than going out and finding what we want to read ourselves.

Things like this? Shared by a friend, and I read it.

I don't search for things to read, I don't go to an aggregate for a source. But then that is what FB and Twitter and IG are, aggregates, friends/people I know. So maybe I don't search but maybe influenced by how others find it. And then there's my patented open all taps in a folder.

Time for lunch - if people stop breaking scopes. took forever to write this.
heddwch
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Freetown 50 - the write up

Gotta write it up before the next race right? That's one of the rules right? Are there any rules anymore? Do they matter? For web loggers, aka the last and few of the bloggers. The old stubborn hangers on to a transient time on the internets when there wasn't this giant clearing house of connectivity a wallymart of bullshit cheap connections of dubious quality like the current social medias, the twitter and faceplace and instagram and whatever else people are doing snapping and slacking. The olden days of blogs and flickr are gone. Some still hang on.

I just got home, driving wound me right the fuck up, sleep now? All tingly from 90 minutes of driving. Took nearly as long to get home because of construction in Providence as it did to drive there in rush hour.

I should read a bit I guess, but writing seems like a more appropriate use of the time.

So this bike race. I guess to preface, i should say I'm really actually pleasantly surprised and happy how well my body responded. Going slow meant more time being pounded over the rocks, and while contact points (hands, feet and butt) were def sore, by Tuesday things were good. Legs were not ready for a CX level effort on Wed but they weren't as bad as I expected.

Wind it back. Yeah, I don't know why I thought about this race. The calendar timing was right, someone mentioned it, I don't know what actually got me to think I should do it, or that I could do it. Hell people doing the 30 last year were saying it is impossible and I haven't raced a mtb in over 10 years and THIS is a good one to come back to? Yeah maybe the Rock Hard racing social promotion influenced my decision to sign up. Having a Clydesdale category was def cool. Makes two EFTA races i've won now, in that category. Two of the rockiest gnarliest races. Well over 10 years apart though. And on dramatically different bikes.

We did 17 miles or so out at big river after doing 12 or so the week before. Two rides on this thing in the trails. A half dozen or so commutes on it, but barely over 100 miles total of miles on the bike before doing a 50 mile race on it on the rockiest hardest course in New England. That makes absolute TOTAL sense. No, it still doesn't.

Esp given that I've worked hard to try and transition that long haul all day capacity from Michigan into CXy time short power bursts. This long stuff is a strength, and I do fuel mentally from it, and I think physically as well. BUT just need to not burn out from it like i did with the NECX HOTM challenge. But to be honest that challenge came after my longest most mentally challenging and frustrating season... so layers and layers is a better way to think of that burnout. BUT no CX race that is close and honestly doing a long 6 hour ride isn't a bad thing early season.  Although the different bike/position could be problematic.

How close it was played into the race day. I didn't have to wake up too early, I spent the week eating, no being hungry, I ate a lot. Was stupid tired early in the week but recovered, documented here I think. Saturday I worked, was tired but got food together enough, burgers and salad? Nothing really that significant. I did have a bowl of muselii before going to bed that night. Slept pretty poorly, anticipation nerves. Woke up early, made coffee. Drank it, drank more, made more, took some with me, ate another bowl of muselii this time with some maple syrup.

Packed two ham and turkey and cheese sandwiches, pre-made 6 bottles of lemon lime skratch, put some pickles and ice in the cooler, made one extra coffee for the road, headed out. Car loaded up. Spare shit, all the spare shit. Packed the saddle bag with tools, tube and cliff bars in my jersey pockets. Charged up Garmin, and yeah, headed out. Left a few minutes late but was the 5-8 cars away from not being able to park in the field by the start finish. But that was plenty early and really perfect. Got my number plate. Number 1. Oh man why did Mike O do that to me? Putzed around, drank some Kefir, like I did before Michigan, placed the cooler over on the course after the S/F line with everyone elses. Dosed up with bug spray, found Jerry and Shawn, chatted with others.

And went to line up. With Marcus (big goofy red head being interview), he rode the Rooster Ronde this year and we had ridden together for a large part of the ride, and we lined up together.

Jerry and Shawn were on singlespeeds and I knew there would  be some back and forth, they've both been riding modern MTBs a lot more than me, so thinking was they would be faster on the tech i'd go faster on the two track with the gears, it was mostly correct.

We hit that first rock garden, the first hard section, slightly downhill, but it was really damp there, humidity was crazy but cool and we were heating up and my glasses started fogging and i was riding kind of blind. It was probably good to do that though. When I took the glasses off i was riding a bit more like old style, around the rocks, so much steering. That's bad btw. Shawn and Jerry and the rest of the single speeders who didn't rocket off the front (yeah I chilled at the start, relaxed didn't try and gain positional advantage - it was a long race no?) came through me with the glasses issue and I tried to hang on and mostly did. I never quite figured that section out but I did get better. 

One cool biologist/botanist obeservation while racing was how many different transitions there were between soil/tree/environments on the course, dry to wet to sandy to loamy but all distinct.  It was fun and satisfying to have such distinctive zones to ride through.

Damn it is getting late, oh well.

Fueling was going to be drink two bottles per lap, eat a sandwich at the lap sections. Well I ate a half of one sandwich over the two stop for fresh cold bottles. The rest of the fueling was from the fuel stop/aid station/neutral feed zone. First pass I didn't stop, we were only 4 miles or so into the race. The next time through at mile 14 or so I grabbed a sleeve of black cherry cliff blocks and ate half of them and stuffed the other three in my pocket. Also ate two pickles. Next pass on the other side I slowed but no cliff blocks on this side and i didn't need anything yet and kept going. Next time past I got another thing of blocks. Then the final pass through the first side I ate some pickles, drank some pickle juice, a little water and headed out. Final stop I drank a Coke, ate some pickles, drank some pickle juice, ate part of a sleeve of blocks. Yeah I drank a Coke. It was Fox's influence. Sort of. I knew I could use all the crap as a boost to get through the last really technical section.

That's the fueling. The course? Tough. I did much better riding with others and following wheels than I did when I was alone, and that last lap was pretty lonely. Also the slowest lap. There were a good number of people on the side of the course on that first lap fixing shit. I had to stop at one point, my Thru-axle started loosening up. Bad design. Finally took a tool out and tightened it down just after the feedzone on the second lap. Watching the flyby on strava Jerry ALMOST caught me when I started moving again.

It was rocky, but it was like a puzzle, I was brute forcing it too much and turning too much in the beginning but then I started to get it. To float, to find the line and roll over the rocks in the line. I had a touch too much air in the tires, but didn't want to go too soft, I didn't use the dropper there nearly as much, probably because it was so flat but I did use it to great advantage on that section after the second feedzone, probably the hardest of the tech sections.

What was it like? I dunno, I pedals, I rode, I had a fucking blast. First lap with people, second mostly alone third really alone, but never quite totally alone. The sections were really well linked together, the punishing sections were long, but not too long, the fire-road two track were not super long but were enough to drink and not long enough that you were wondering when the next hellish section was going to be.

There was a short railroad bed gravel gravel, like real gravel, climb. It was loose, but these tires didn't give a shit, seated traction was fine, spun up it but legs were def twingy at the top each time. But it was followed by a fresh technical downhill section, but with enough time after the top to drink a bit before plunging into the woods.

I guess I'm saying I felt like there was a really good rhythm to the course.

Coming in to finish the first lap I looked down and based on last year's times knew I was getting close to being in danger of being lapped, having the leaders finish  before I started the last lap, I didn't know how that was handled so I dug deep on broken rim road and all the way to the finish, and never got caught. Got the bottles and headed out for that last lap.

It wasn't unbearable hot but it was sunny and while I had put bug spray on, I didn't put sunscreen on and I was absolutely certain I'd be a fucking tender painful pink dumbass on monday. but nope. nothing. The exposed heat and sun of the Africa section and the other open parts of the course might not have been enough? I dunno, I'm just happy not to have to deal with a painful burn.

It was rocky, the bike was awesome, i finished. When I got to the car Mike called too me "Geoff, lets do the podium when you're ready." Oh right, podium. Last podium finisher. The only one on the podium except the Staypuff Marshmellow guy.

Too tired or embarassed/ashamed to raise my arms for the photos. But I finished.

Pretty stoked about it, even now, maybe esp now, that was not an insignificant feat.

So many people had fueling issues, mechanical issues... I dealt with it pretty well w/o stress, and w/o danger of cramping/bonking. No I wasn't fast. Yes going slow changes things, but it also means you're out there longer. But never did it feel too long, never on the official 6 hours 6 minutes and 55 seconds I was racing on course did it ever stop being fun. I had some idiot moments and some "MAN THAT WAS A FUCKING STUPID LINE" and a couple "Holyshit I almost wrecked myself" but it really never stopped being fun.

How many times did I say 'fun' in that interview? Many many times. But it was accurate.

It was fun.

On to CX. ANd holy shit it is late, now on to bed. Def wound down from the drive.

Not sure I captured the whole race, I did shift, I don't think I'm ready or really wanting to do that singlespeed right now, but maybe next year, I am ready to get back on the bike and do some more MTB'n. I think I have to get some blaze orange though.

if I think of something else i'll edit or add later, if i didn't cover something or you have questions or i didn't spend enough time on something let me know, comments, email, text, or whatnot, just not on faceplace.

be well
heddwch
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To write it up or not write it up

Well Thom beat me to the coverage, aka he edited 7 or so hours of him shooting video into a great little synopsis of the event.

He's fuckin magic, guy. Like really good at this shit. Maybe included too much of me but kind of fun to have the documentation. And yeah... i'll write it up, at some point. Maybe.



It really was a pretty fucking awesome day out there.

You can even see video evidence of Chaboom riding his singlespeed.

heddwch
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That Freetown ride

I was going to write it all up, but my hands are still tired, my brain is tired, my eyes aren't focusing as well as they could from the anxious anticipation keeping me awake saturday night and then the abject and total fatigue and aching that kept me from sleeping well last night.

The short story is I showed up. Was given a race plate with the number one on it. I saw friends, I lined up. I raced. or not really. I started with the racers, hung back.

It was broken up kind of like the Coast to Coast was. Three chapters. Each a lap. each chapter a twist. The last chapter was the most introspective and self dwelling. Past relationships bubbled up, thinking about past self, almost as a different person. But thinking. That's not good for the going fast.

But also only half thinking, most of the time just focusing on the rocks, or not focusing on them and looking for the flow over/around... mostly over. Brain was loving the analysis, body fucked up a few times and tricked brain into doing stupid shit but didn't totally lose it. Fortunately.

Eyes are tired, writing blind isn't the easiest. Not blind now but focusing is tough, kind of like it was at the end when i stopped drinking. it happens now when fatigue mounts up. Tired. indeed.

I almost got lapped, in a 3 lap race. But I didn't and I wound up on a podium. Alone, because I was the only one in my 'race' feels dirty, bad, to share and celebrate that part of the day. But the sense of accomplishment at completing the distance, at this particular event, was unmistakably huge. So I indulged.

Life's pretty strange. "Why did you start mountain biking?" was a question I got many times, most people know me as a Cyclocross guy or a ride his bike all day on crazy adventures. Few people knew me when i was a mountain biker.

I tried to keep it going on my old bikes when I moved back to New England, but the bikes I had were great for Michigan, not for New England.

Took until this year before I got a new 'modern' bike.

I've been over that a little.

What got me to ignore not being able to read these words perfectly (yeah maybe I'll get glasses soon - or use dynamic page zoom in the browser) was actually reading this:
https://theradavist.com/2019/09/ogichidaakwe-alexandera-houchins-reflections-on-her-tour-divide-race/

I feel about as far from a winner as possible. But I feel a significant sense of accomplishment. At the same time I feel a constant overwhelming sense of dread at the condition of the world, the country and all that. I feel torn in many ways. I also feel lost. I shouldn't, but I do. What dreams do I have, what goals have I ever had? I don't know. I'm where I am because I wound up here, fell into things that I'm pretty good at...  maybe it is because someone asked me what my dreams were recently.

Was the race transformative? Maybe a little? Am I ever going to be as fast as the little folk (you know, those lighter than 175#) probably not.

Deep introspection I guess. Thought a little about l'appel du vide - where did I read that? I thought maybe on AHTBM but can't find the link.

I will write up the race more properly. Perhaps tonight, i have to first conquer the apathetic ambiguity of what to make for dinner then carve out time alone perhaps with my feet up to go through the "race"

Life is not bad, it is pretty grand to be able to experience all these things, perhaps it is just the weight of the years piling up that's nagging at me now.

Time to try and distract myself with more intense work than this morning has been.

heddwch
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Time for some Plasma Cleaning

Which means I can't go anywhere and have to monitor the system for another 45 min or so.

On a friday afternoon.

ETD isn't working on the SEM. Not sure if it is the cage voltage or some debris is on the scintilator, so i'm running the chamber cleaning.

Was able to image some cool samples in non-ETD mode, after switching over from an SBF run overnight.

So I did sign up for the Freetown 50...  the Haaaahdest MTB race in New England.

Oh SHIT

kind of worried - but really not that worried but the wrong suggestion and then i'm worried but, am def back to NOT being worried, and very much looking forward to it.

Cooler by the car, 2 bottles on the bike, grab fresh bottles each lap, make some pedaling time. REALLY don't care how long it takes, just want to finish, finishing well would be good but so far it looks like i signed up for a Category of 1. YAY MOUNTAIN BICYCLING where EVERYONE HAS A CATEGORY. Mine? Clydesdale. 200+ pounds.

Am I? Yup, would I be STOKED not to be? Yup. Is it going to happen by Sunday? Not a chance. I think i could get food poisoning and purge everything between now and the start of the race and not eat anything and STILL not be under 200#s. And that's totally fine.

Gotta remember to get the trail side tools and shit together - aka plugs, tube, tire boot, chain tool, spare links...  punp... was gonna go with my old Jand hydration pack as a straight backpack (no bladder), but maybe saddle bag will work, or i dunno, i have a day+ to overthink that part.

Back feeling better has been a good thing. Got up stupid early this morning to see an awesome sunset, followed by a dense fog bank and then clearing right up all in the stretch of a headrace scrimmage for the kid's team.

This whole cutting back on coffee thing hasn't been bad. The urge def is more mental than physical, aka it is almost more I WANT more coffee than I need more coffee. After two days of just one cup at home I did move back to 2 but the big volume issue was once i left and either had 2 pot  day or a couple extra espressos from the machine upstairs.

Hmmm maybe I should grab some redbull for Sunday... ROCKETFUEL or not...  it really is just going to be more of a 50 mile MTB ride. Which is a long ride, no doubt, but also 3 laps. Kind of like a CX race, being able to hit the lines more than once and hopefully get them right by the end.

So - somewhat rested, back feeling better and fuck it - for less money than racing two 45 minute races at Gloucester I can get 4-6 hours of mt biking in and have it timed and recorded for everyone to say "hey he's still a slow mother fucker" but I can say - i had a blast.

Rode the Big Wheel bike more than not this week. Today? Yup, even locked it up at the store getting coffee (see cutting back meant I ran out today instead of like Tuesday).

Shit I even made a phone call today- like dialed the phone to see where the hell the damn garbage disposal is, it is not here yet. Next week maybe. This is maybe one of those times when I should have gone to the big shitty Cheetohead supporting box store and brought one home. But also, we're surviving, another week or so not the worst, not like I'm going to be able to install it this weekend anyway.
Now I have to call and schedule the Van to have the 'noise the tires are making' dealt with, also need to go back to platinum plugs instead of the irridium ones I put in. Might even just have to go to the local store and get them instead of ordering online. Shouldn't take too long to install, just did it last year.

And the plasma cleaning is done and there is no improvement in the detector so that's kind of shitty but not unexpected, one extra bit of info to add to the service visit on Tuesday.

Time to pedal home (really slowly on the huge bike with not quite fat but really fat tires)

heddwch
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fine one minute the next

KaPOW

what happened.

Except I don't know what happened other than I got in bed suddenly it felt like someone punched my lower left rib. Woke me up pain level if I moved in my sleep. Then the dog started going nuts, there was a squirrel or cat fight outside and Millie wanted some of the action and so she made sure to wake me up too. For a while.

And then well slept so poorly that I completely slept through everyone leaving the house this morning. Woke up about the time i said I'd stop by the shop. Fuck.

So now, extra tired, and my back is weirdly tweaked. doesn't seem to be hindering mobility or anything but it mostly hurts laying down, aka when I'm trying to rest.

BUT still skating on a lower coffee day - and def going to skip the CX training race tonight, would love to make it over there but 6pm just no go, too late, too dark riding home and today too tired.

Rode the Stache again today. Def fun, def slow. Thinking maybe it is too short of a bike but also thinking that I don't notice that in the woods on the trails so maybe i should ignore that part of my brain.

anyway

shitty update - pissed about the back tweak, but maybe it'll relax soon

heddwch
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what else besides bikes?

MUSIC AND NATURE -

okay so this is a bit chill and electronic but damn what a gorgeous location, put this on the big TV and crank up the volume and chill

It is long but good

Now I'm ready to head off and do this.

Why? kind of for the reasons why he's stating there at some point to the end. Also that just looks fucking awesome. Different than the Paris-Brest or the Round Ireland thing...  maybe I should just stick to shit that doesn't entail international travel and insane logistics. I mean maybe if I was supported by a whole film crew and staff and shit it would be different. But that dude in the dark after lach falling in cow shit, he says why this stuff is so fucking cool. it is true - i could care less about the f'n tours and shit. Bikes, and fun and the EF series with Alex and lach and co are good.

Anyway Lach described what it was like after 180 miles for me in Michigan, and I was like Fuck i feel fucking awesome, my legs feel great, how is this possible.. more magic is that there's nothing else to do, nothing to worry about, it is just about the fucking bike.

Just ride. You can't just do that on a little ride. The end is near. CX is the closest to that because the intensity in that 40-50 min time point is so high, you're probably having as many individual heart beats in a CX race as when you're riding a full century.

perhaps that's a bit of a stretch but fuck it - close in a way...

So I'll admit, I watched the Leadville one first, this GBDuro auto-played next.

Before the Leadville one I watched the Dirtwire Freetown 50 from last year...

Why?

And yeah i know that's a lot of wideo to watch - but also hanging out with service engineers isn't always the most active or engaging work, gotta be here, can't do much tedious or involved - so VIDEOS.

And that 50 miles sounds kind of like the sort of fun that is fun that sort of gets close to the point of the first one.

After 3 hours in the car saturday and 3 hours in the car sunday i'm def not wanting to drive to either Hydra or Gateway (both over 2 hour drives each way). And the rock garden in this Freetown video doesn't look bad. And they say it is flat?

Been interrupted a million times so far since writing this, and no - i didn't have the lux to watch any of the videos through without an equal number of interruptions.

Fork is bugging me though - pressure drop is a bit more than I was hoping for but less than last time... maybe it is just 'settling in'  (or i really need to have Ben take a look at it AND dig out my old shock pump, yeah I have one).

that's it

Life is pretty freaking strange eh? But riding bikes kind of is my thing I guess...  weird how that is...

didn't make it far enough along in the sample prep to look at fun stuff on the microscope today tho

heddwch
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well this is where

The narrator chimes in and says, nope, didn't fall asleep early, or sleep in.

Kind of like I'm old and sleep has become habituated or something.

So I said f'it and made a second large mug of coffee. had a rescheduled service visit, from all day to after lunch, open morning. Slow start in a quiet house with the dogs. How can I not have a second cup? And yeah maybe cutting it with de-caf is a good idea. Maybe I should do that at work. Hmmm. better idea than cutting the morning stuff.

took a look at the freetown results from last year. 4-6 hours to ride the 50 miles, there is one Clydesdale signed up now, will there be two? Was thinking about riding the single speed today but maybe I'll ride the big mt bike, it is dumb for commuting but still fun, even if slow, and if I am going to do the whole marathon bike thing maybe a little saddle time is a good idea.

Kind of wish i had one of the KF commute options that was all dirt and trail. My path is pretty awesome but it is paved and there's a few bits of trail here and there but not much of significance between here and work.

Maybe i can deal with the fatigue by just not creating more? Or at least relaxing and chilling as much as possible when possible. Aka take advantage of openings in the schedule to do something normal people do: rest. Not sleep so much as just doing nothing, the way most people sit down and watch TV or read a book at night. Not run a million miles an hour all day and then sleep.

Now that i've had an extra day to think about it - i'm now pissed at myself for the lapse and getting lapped. I shouldn't have been...  but it is what it is and nothing to do now except try and remember the lesson for the next race.

No more rambling, it is kind of nice how quiet it is here, just the clacking of the keyboard and the dog snoring. And the occasional bird.

Oh and bonus for the Freetown? Less than a 40 min drive there, aka it is really close.

still fence sitting though, pre-reg doesn't close until friday night, lots of time to contemplate and over-think it.

heddwch
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Bike Racing

So season of Cyclocross has started.

much like it did last year first was Kalon Cross and second was Quad cross.

Difference? Instead of being a week apart they were back to back, saturday and sunday.

Kalon course was much better for me than last year. Hurt like hell and I wiped out hard pre-riding with a couple PSI too much in the front wheel. Left arm is still super sore and bruised. Foot is better though.

Shorter ups but maybe more ups, def lots of coasting downhill as fast as you can and turning and all that. Last year I struggled but didn't - well shit results aren't there right now - they got overwritten with this years results. Last year I got lapped IIRC, now I'm doubting it but who knows, last year was tough.

The tires, well still getting used to them but figured them out a bit more at Quad, need some more time to dial in pressures and comfort level with them. Some Wed night action might be required.

I stayed on the lead lap. Seems kind of lame to have that as a goal. but it is what it is and I was happy not to get lapped by a guy on #CXHairsHeat index of the week. He was riding the run-up, on his single speed. And he took a dirt nap.

Bonus for me is that I hopped the railroad ties every lap except the first, I kept Matt A in sight most of the race, didn't get lapped, passed a couple people after a VERY relaxed start at the back of the tiny field. Forgot the HRM so strava isn't telling me it was a much harder effort than normal. It was painful but good, could I have gone faster? I don't know, I don't think so yet. I was pretty close to the limit.

I left there and headed to the grocery store, then made dinner (burgers and fancy potatoes - simple) and tried to sleep, wanted to sleep in but E was supposed to get up really early and guide. She got up, i fell back asleep, she came back to bed, the guy has a migraine, no running, i'm back awake again, tired. Pushed the start of coffee back a bit but managed to eat and get out of the house and to the venue with time to hang out and catch up with everyone who wasnt there at Kalon the day before.

Was good. But man I was tired. Mentally and physically. Not sick but that fatigue level of just being tired.

Raced. Had a good start. Lined up behind big Keith B, who was behind Stupid fast Conner. A super fast old dude  behind a fearless crazy fast kid in the front row and then me. A good spot, I can start, even if it means I'm where I don't belong. My agro level is SUPER chill compared to everyone around me. I'm doing what I can to hang out up close to the front without burning matches I don't have. Works out pretty well actually. Wind up where I shouldn't be but not really that far out of place and not THAT uncomfortable. Maybe can stay there in a few more races. Maybe not but hey, who knows.

There was a log, hopped it every time, lots/most were dismounting. I did dismount for the barriers, they were high speed and i can float over them, not sure i can hop but it would be slower if i did. Was racing well, but Giles came by just before the long drag back to the parking lot and I mentally broke down a bit - can see it on the HRM data, it dips a bit, I lost focus, and then chip caught me, and passed me and fuck I gotta pay attention. I made a few mistakes that let him get there, and then drilled it to get him back. unfortunately Mike W was coming and I finished literally on Brad smith's wheel as they came into the finish 1 and 2 w/o a time separation. i was like a few seconds away from NOT GETTING LAPPED. Normally not a big deal right? But man it would have been nice to not have been lapped, however, it meant not having to do another lap and I was fucking cooked. I kept it upright, but was so tired.

And then slept like crap last night. combo legs feeling bad, the bruised shoulder and a tender spot in the ribs. And the weird temps.

Got a super painful hamstring cramp at work, end of day, going to put shoes on. It still hurts. Ouch.

But what doesn't hurt? My lower back. I could barely walk last year after racing. This year? Feels great. There were lower back connection issues, but more from soreness of the single speed full body torque application.

Thinking less and less about Freetown 50 and more about maybe just doing a MTB ride and relaxing.

In an effort to work on this fatigue I dialed back the coffee today. Cut in HALF what I have been drinking during the week. One quad this morning and One pot at work, normally two and two.

And guess what? I'm fucking EXHAUSTED right now and it is glorious.

going to put the leftovers away and go get in bed, yeah it is early. So what.

I'm tired.

Lets see how long I can keep up the low caffeine to help realize and deal with the lack of sleep fatigue and be more rested the next race.

Probably going to skip any hard pedalling tomorrow. Not gonna ride the e-bike like I did today but not going out to do dirty or regular smackdown. Need more recovery. I'm old I guess. Older than I used to be.

I can't live like an athlete but i can at least try to catch up on my sleep and not be in such a deep always tired hole. or at least maybe try and make the hole a little shallower.

And cutting back on the coffee is a good start. Kind out of hand how much I'm drinking. Def in the habit more than need, but loading up on coffee isn't the best approach for feeling well rested.

Putting my feet up, might try and read some more Snow Crash, book is good but fits and spurts, it is kind of one where I'm a fan but not a fan want to know what happens but not loving what's happening in the book. Weird in a way. I notice a few books are like that for me but others not. I'll get through it though... maybe. This at least is easier to read the Gibson's stuff but I can see why Neal is compared to him...  and maybe I should have taken that as a skip this book. But those 'must read' sci-fi lists... gotta read em all.

maybe i'll get through a chapter or two

heddwch
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