The algorithm

 the algorithm serves, and controls, and grows and knows and well pretty soon make it complicated enough and the algorithm will start feeling, and thinking, not just predicting. it will start planning more than one step at a time, more than serving up the next add, or the next song, or the next video...

Maybe the world will collapse before then. Like someone else's post, in a different way said: make sure to tell the people you have a crush on...  that doesn't sound right but maybe it doesn't need to in order to convey the meaning.

It is a good short film.

jack of

"Jack of all trades, master of none"

Something used quite often. And until recently I didn't know the full quote.

Like most things the full context is so much better.

do your best

 Don't try to do better.

Just do your best. 

That's it. You can't do more than your best.

Amor Fati. Do your best.

Now watch this

 There's a bit of us all in the main character in this short film.

I'd say more but maybe just like the film title says: 

RIDE

Watch. This.

 When you have the space to absorb it. Or watch it now and then prepare a space to watch it again.

"prepare a space" means be open to listening to what is being said...  there are lots of ways to say it, how ever you translate what it means, find your place to listen.

here we are a few days past

 Things happened, races were raced.

Kid wound up 5th in the country. 

pretty amazing.

kid made it across the country solo, and made her way to World's selection camp on her own too. no big stress either, finally getting a handle on travel stress. Guess I was lucky to be thrown on a plane alone long before i realized how stressful it was, a 9 year old in charge of three little brothers trying to act 13, but those were the days when anyone could go to the terminal and drop you off and pick you up. 

So many travel stories. Growing up crossing this country for various family reasons, by plane or car, bus, train whatever. Not unique but def out of the ordinary. 

Got a ride in. Was more exciting than hoped towards the end. Raced back to the car, anyway that's not my story to tell.

It was good in the woods. Felt not terrible, not super fast but not like garbage. New shoes honestly not too bad. Fit isn't perfect and I can't tell if it is just the cheaper retention system or the design, which really are the same thing. Need to get a good long 6+hr ride in them to really check. Again I'm not sure about cleat placement. Put them where I thought I wanted them and got the angle wrong, went back and may have gone too far back.

Bit a good chunk out of my tongue eating my breakfast sandwich this morning. You'd think i'd have figured out how to chew by now.

Planning on Smackdown tonight, just because and why not and even if i get dropped I need the ride. Went to put the new cassette and chain on there, checked the chain after cleaning it. Only 0.75 worn. Fuck it, that's not that bad but it is too late for a new chain so, well, I just cleaned everything and hit the bike with some Pledge. Y'all can get your Muc-off or other high end finishing product, i'll stick with the lemon scented pledge. That shit works, looks good even on matt finished bikes.

I'd link some stuff but I couldn't find anything in my open tabs worth sharing.

Didn't ride yesterday -but drank too much coffee- wound up sleeping like shit. So of course I'm way more tired than I should be. Viscous circle. Not dragging tired but just the edge of it. Big race is in less than two months. def super fucked. but hey it is a stupid race to do solo and singlespeed. Like really dumb... but also really tough. A long, gravel race with a couple sections of single track and a fuckton of climbing. Also seriously considering FSSS for the whole thing or just part of it, I like the efficiency and comfort in the squishy form factor, it isn't the 'spirit' but you know what? Don't care.

If i'm going to make it through this conference today I need to take a quick break. Yesterday's session was good, today is too much structural stuff. 

Marching through it. Lets see if talk two is more exciting to me, i mean this stuff is really cool but only at the moment, tangentially related and only potentially applicable. 

Lets see what smackdown brings

heddwch
G

unprepared for that level of stress

 expected it - but it surprises me everytime...

probably good that I'm not there in person, would have been worse maybe

Was trying to get to work to watch it live - left a few minutes too late, but felt like maybe if I was riding hard at the same time she was racing maybe there's some quantum entaglement boost? And then I thought about that and realized if there is I better take it down a notch during the race so I don't take anything away. Contemplated stopping on the linear park and watching the live feed on my phone but man I'm glad I went to work, cued up the live stream and re-wound it to the start of their race and made it full screen.

And holy shit, damn. I was standing up the whole time and it is now half hour later and I'm still wound up from it. 

Pretty close to the most stressful seven minutes thirty eight seconds and it ended with a photo finish!!!

That top boat was in a distant 4th just before the 500 meter mark. the red hull (3) moves on to the grand finals. White hull (5) goes to petit finals.

That difference is 0.132 of a second

okay so... man what a way to start the day. Yikes.

(race is on replay for now: https://youtu.be/dKyVl_sD4vs?t=2645 that link should cue it up to the start of her race)

Tailwind commute last night - hit 173prm with the big 180s. Who says you can't spin long cranks. Well maybe you can't. My backpack was even rock steady on my back doing that. 

Pushed it this morning, took it down a tiny bit, dropped the power and upped the candence a little (knee) and the big fast dude always crushing it on the super fancy Checkpoint SLR rode past but not that fast and I just said fuck it and stayed with him. check the strava, it is different.

Got me thinking, I can do a hell of a lot just by smashing the commutes. So, I'm going to smash the commutes.

Been checked HRV in the morning. And it is in the green range but just barely. Bonus I'm seeing a 44 HR after waking up, so not bad. Probably should get a real way to monitor, a BT hr strap or something.

Should have kept the HR on while watching the race. Yikes. Maybe a BP monitor too.

Time to move on with the day if possible.

heddwch
G

Tomorrow is a big day

 Marks 4 years.

Four years after finishing the handle of Polish Vodka I'd bought two days before. Woke up and saw Bourdain had committed suicide. I've never been a Bourdain fan, tried to watch his shows, just couldn't get into it, rubbed me wrong, but his essays and his writing were dramatically different, in my mind than what he seemed to be like on the TV shows. You can see elements of what i was drawn to in the writing but the rest, just didn't resonate. 

perspective

Looking up in black and white. 

Pause. Look at your familiar locations from a different perspective.

No need to capture it in a snapshot or describe it to anyone. Just be in that moment and absorb, and recognize that everyone sees everything differently.

And be kind. 

really crushing the read links

 Someday maybe I'll go back to promoting this place of moody discontent and bike content...

F"yeah

 LW kicking ass.

Also - Fuck the AZT Race Administration. Seriously. WTaF

I dunno, she's the GOAT ATMO

or at least one of the GOATs

May the AZT race adminsitrators suffer endless goatheads on their rides.

 Proper keyboard  to smash words out with

This song hit some chords just now...

I looked at the date...

Feb 8, 2018

8th... 2018

hmm

shit

June 8th 2018

Coming up on my sobriety receiving an honorary bachelors degree.

two rides

Looking at the calendar.

One more day on May.

Could not be more antithetical to 2016 if I tried. The year iirc that I kicked off the biggest mileage month ever. Started with a Hundo, ended with a Boston Hundo and smackdown. 

I have ridden one time that was not a commute. 

Once.

And that one time kicked off some stuff.

One time pedaling a bike somewhere other than work. One time in the woods. Period. Once. 

I scrolled back until the next ride on Strava that wasn't a commute... April 24th.

And then scrolled back some more and I was in March. 

I know it's been for reasons. 

But seriously this shit is not sitting well with me right now. It isn't because I'm not wanting to ride. Quite the opposite.

Yet here I am, riding less and less.

And it is a fucking perfect morning for a ride.

It will pass I suppose. But I'll have basically gone from riding in the winter too full leaf coverage. No chance to adjust to the changing light. Missing the best part of the year in the woods, spring.

It's summer now. Everything is in full spread photosynthesis mode now. At least as I'm watching from the car or the bike path.

So much going on, so much set in place that is just there, rescheduling, whatnot, heck haven't been to the shop enough either. Kind of so run down that I can't really ride before and still be functional, can't ride after because I have to get places.

And those are just the challenges I can talk about.

It's been a week, the unwritten unsent draft is probably best deleted now.

Time to pack up and head out to do what needs to be done.

Still haven't solved the crank issue, can't believe it fell off over a month ago and I haven't ridden it since.

Feels weird writing a web log post from my phone.

Feels weird not riding. Not sure what to do about it.

Oh amor fati motherfuckers

Heddwch

G

paywalls are a tool of prejudice

Been giving space to this 

'Paywall the news separating those who can afford it from those who can't ... prejudice and bias in the access to information and knowledge by a paywall'

It is another one of those HFS moments reading @TochiTrueStory Goliath

Think on that..

Creators, journalists, writers, photojournalists... Yes they all deserve to get paid, but when the best information and news is hiding behind a paywall, it becomes a privilege, a division, a furthering of the wealth and class gap that is so often racially drawn. 

I don't have the answer, but it feels like a significant challenge to society right now. And a wedge effortlessly and irreparably dividing right now. 

How to both give the documentarians a living wage and free and equitable access to the information and news? 

take 10 minutes

 And watch this:

new high speed

For listening to a book. 

I can't quite imagine what it would be like to listen to this book at 1.0 speed. I was at 1.5x this morning on the bike ride in, this book is a good distraction for what the fuck is going on, and it is due tomorrow and while I have a physical copy and have been doing a hybrid read, lately when I've tried to read, i'm tired and the book is good but not gripping and action packed enough to keep me awake. Sadly it also isn't enough to put me to sleep right away, just land me in that purgatory of too sleepy to do much but not sleepy enough to fall right asleep.

So there I was, fuck it, lets go to 1.75x.

Big gap

 

Been spending words in a draft, not a blog post draft or an email draft. But digital draft. Words that I'm capturing because I'm uncertain if they should be shared, edited, or just deleted after some time.

Strange few days, heck week? Since Friday at least.

searching for equilibrium

 Always a challenge. 

I suppose you can think about equilibrium as moderation. GeWilli doesn't do that last thing very well. 

Hasn't really found the the other thing.

hit a new level of uncontrolled

Freakout.

So y'all know the gallery has been on my mind for a long time. Right?

Thinking, too much

 Wondering, really, if all my social issues can be fit into a clinical diagnosis.

Sure seems like it lately.