Now more than ever.
Fucking national situation is amazingly horrible.
The reluctantly slow metabolism of the US is turning us into a really shitty place, and lots of evil white rich assholes are fucking everything up.
Too bad they won't actually hear this song, or actually register the impact or implications.
Sigh, my heart hurts with all this shit going on, all the layers and layers of it.
be more kind
Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Feeling lucky
Yes, I have two wonderful kids that make me a father. I have a step-father who's been a fantastic roll model and father, and I talked to my dad today. More on that last bit in a few.
Coffee, headed out, jacked up the van, cleaned off the interface a bit more with a razor blade. Got it installed. Couldn't really remember the belt routing, took me a few tries before I got it right. No, I don't have a manual for this car, but looking at the gasket, next time I'm going to look for 2005 Pacifica 3.8l instead of '09 Caravan data. Thinking about it makes sense, Chrysler sold VW all those engines for the Routan. We'll see next time I get it apart for the next issue. Or hopefully never have to think about it again. Doubt that will be the case.
Got it together. Did a handful of drain and fills with R/O water. Man that was rough and time consuming. Managed to get only about 6 quarts drained out of the 16 that were in there each time. But I did it three times. Warming the engine up between each, letting it get hot enough to open the thermostat, then letting it cool down until it wasn't dangerous to drain.
That third one I bolted the wheel on, headed out to repeat the last trip when the temps went from 220-240 in the engine and the heat took 30-60 sec to come on in the cabin and then wasn't really all that hot (it was hotter with the engine not even up to temp during the flushes). Did the loop, temp never went above 190 or so, always one tick below 200. Paying attention to it I could actually see the opening and closing of the thermostat. Temps dropped, and then came back up. Also noticing and liking that the temp gauge actually seems to report the temp, not just be an idiot gauge that they use in all the german VWs.
Also of key notice, unlike after the drive on the 1st with the lower rad hose being stone cold, it was hot. Waterpump WORKING. While it was cooling down from the test drive I put the fender liner on and the lower shroud. Put the wheel back on and torqued the bolts all down. But man those lugnuts were scorching hot. Had to be careful with the rotor and caliper there - also not cool. Also not cool? TODAY. A scorcher and brilliantly bright sun. At least there was a breeze and the hood gave me enough shade so I could hide and cool everything down easily enough. I may have gotten even more sun today. Oops.
Anyway, after that test drive...
I drained as much of the system as I could, even got the rest out of the block and the engine cooler that last time. Managed to get an extra quart. Toped it up with straight coolant (yeah did the math sort of). Unfortunately, I needed to get the leading plastic clip out of the lower shroud. It didn't come off in one piece. But there were well spaced holes that a zip tie worked well to hold it in place. So I did manage to fuck something up. With all that out I filled it up with the coolant. Not mixed because I had some pretty well diluted stuff in there, and going up to 70% coolant isn't bad, I don't think i'm there but I'm bad at maths. Three flushes 6 quarts added drained the first couple times, closer to 7 on the last one 16 quart system, assuming it was 50% at the start? Good enough. I hope.
Topped up the oil while waiting for it all to cool down. Was going to wash it but baking sun isn't supposed to be the right time to wash a car, although as little as we've washed this one I'm sure anything would have been better than nothing.
Once all set, I grabbed the impact gun I'd borrowed from DiPinto at the shop and headed over to return it so he could sharpen his mower blade.
Driving over there, well I am pretty sure I haven't seen it spend this much time below 200 line in a very long time. And being pretty damn near 90 in the shade, it was a good day to test it. Made it there, hung out and chatted and caught up with everyone, added a bit more coolant before leaving. Drove a while down the drag to the cheap gas, filled up the car. Paired the bluetooth with the phone, and drove home and the temp was pretty stable.
Nothing seems to be leaking under the car. The oil cooler line looks pretty scary but it is intact for the minute. I as much as I hate pre-emptive maintenance I may look at replacing that at the next oil change.
Right now I'm just cooking up some sauteed carrots, some hot italian pork sausages, and mashed potatoes for dinner, and drinking my 4th or 5th can of ice cold seltzer water.
Eat, shower, read, sleep...
After the test drive I did call my dad. Actually got him on the phone and despite the warnings from my brothers at how slow he's gotten (it did take a good number of rings to answer his cell phone) he sounded no different than the last time. We had a good talk, talked about the upcoming move and how it really wasn't what he planned, but that this was the best way forward, he would have liked to change it all and have certain things not happen that lead to this, and he's not sure about going from 8000' elevation to basically sea level... and stuff. But he did say not to worry or stress too much about getting out there, there's plenty of help to pick up any slack from me not being there, and it was good to hear something different than what my brothers have been saying. It was the kind of stuff I needed to hear from my Dad, he knows I'd be out there if I could, and I could, but it would destroy the week before I head out and then I'll be gone at a conference and two weeks of no one doing what I need to do means I have to spend a month playing catch up assuming there are no interruptions. And yes, I'm maybe a week away from being caught up from the beginning of May. I'm much much more at peace, mentally, when i'm caught up with everything. And if May and the first two weeks of June are any indication, I need to actively make sure I balance everything for me a bit more than I have been.
Anyway, a good day, not the classic Father's day of many folks, but it wasn't so bad. Got something done (hopefully, fingers still crossed, it takes a while for the grip of anxiety to wear off). But I'm a bit more settled than i have been in a while.
Roller coaster eh? But this time I put the brakes on and took a bit more control. Life's a process eh? Always testing, prodding, pushing I guess.
Being more mindful of where I step, not just blindly putting one foot in front of the other.
And I think writing has been helping. It helped me realize what the issues were that were super dark, helped me shake some of it, gave me some accountability for the new choice/change. Maybe I'll stick with it for a while.
heddwch
G
Coffee, headed out, jacked up the van, cleaned off the interface a bit more with a razor blade. Got it installed. Couldn't really remember the belt routing, took me a few tries before I got it right. No, I don't have a manual for this car, but looking at the gasket, next time I'm going to look for 2005 Pacifica 3.8l instead of '09 Caravan data. Thinking about it makes sense, Chrysler sold VW all those engines for the Routan. We'll see next time I get it apart for the next issue. Or hopefully never have to think about it again. Doubt that will be the case.
Got it together. Did a handful of drain and fills with R/O water. Man that was rough and time consuming. Managed to get only about 6 quarts drained out of the 16 that were in there each time. But I did it three times. Warming the engine up between each, letting it get hot enough to open the thermostat, then letting it cool down until it wasn't dangerous to drain.
That third one I bolted the wheel on, headed out to repeat the last trip when the temps went from 220-240 in the engine and the heat took 30-60 sec to come on in the cabin and then wasn't really all that hot (it was hotter with the engine not even up to temp during the flushes). Did the loop, temp never went above 190 or so, always one tick below 200. Paying attention to it I could actually see the opening and closing of the thermostat. Temps dropped, and then came back up. Also noticing and liking that the temp gauge actually seems to report the temp, not just be an idiot gauge that they use in all the german VWs.
Also of key notice, unlike after the drive on the 1st with the lower rad hose being stone cold, it was hot. Waterpump WORKING. While it was cooling down from the test drive I put the fender liner on and the lower shroud. Put the wheel back on and torqued the bolts all down. But man those lugnuts were scorching hot. Had to be careful with the rotor and caliper there - also not cool. Also not cool? TODAY. A scorcher and brilliantly bright sun. At least there was a breeze and the hood gave me enough shade so I could hide and cool everything down easily enough. I may have gotten even more sun today. Oops.
Anyway, after that test drive...
I drained as much of the system as I could, even got the rest out of the block and the engine cooler that last time. Managed to get an extra quart. Toped it up with straight coolant (yeah did the math sort of). Unfortunately, I needed to get the leading plastic clip out of the lower shroud. It didn't come off in one piece. But there were well spaced holes that a zip tie worked well to hold it in place. So I did manage to fuck something up. With all that out I filled it up with the coolant. Not mixed because I had some pretty well diluted stuff in there, and going up to 70% coolant isn't bad, I don't think i'm there but I'm bad at maths. Three flushes 6 quarts added drained the first couple times, closer to 7 on the last one 16 quart system, assuming it was 50% at the start? Good enough. I hope.
Topped up the oil while waiting for it all to cool down. Was going to wash it but baking sun isn't supposed to be the right time to wash a car, although as little as we've washed this one I'm sure anything would have been better than nothing.
Once all set, I grabbed the impact gun I'd borrowed from DiPinto at the shop and headed over to return it so he could sharpen his mower blade.
Driving over there, well I am pretty sure I haven't seen it spend this much time below 200 line in a very long time. And being pretty damn near 90 in the shade, it was a good day to test it. Made it there, hung out and chatted and caught up with everyone, added a bit more coolant before leaving. Drove a while down the drag to the cheap gas, filled up the car. Paired the bluetooth with the phone, and drove home and the temp was pretty stable.
Nothing seems to be leaking under the car. The oil cooler line looks pretty scary but it is intact for the minute. I as much as I hate pre-emptive maintenance I may look at replacing that at the next oil change.
Right now I'm just cooking up some sauteed carrots, some hot italian pork sausages, and mashed potatoes for dinner, and drinking my 4th or 5th can of ice cold seltzer water.
Eat, shower, read, sleep...
After the test drive I did call my dad. Actually got him on the phone and despite the warnings from my brothers at how slow he's gotten (it did take a good number of rings to answer his cell phone) he sounded no different than the last time. We had a good talk, talked about the upcoming move and how it really wasn't what he planned, but that this was the best way forward, he would have liked to change it all and have certain things not happen that lead to this, and he's not sure about going from 8000' elevation to basically sea level... and stuff. But he did say not to worry or stress too much about getting out there, there's plenty of help to pick up any slack from me not being there, and it was good to hear something different than what my brothers have been saying. It was the kind of stuff I needed to hear from my Dad, he knows I'd be out there if I could, and I could, but it would destroy the week before I head out and then I'll be gone at a conference and two weeks of no one doing what I need to do means I have to spend a month playing catch up assuming there are no interruptions. And yes, I'm maybe a week away from being caught up from the beginning of May. I'm much much more at peace, mentally, when i'm caught up with everything. And if May and the first two weeks of June are any indication, I need to actively make sure I balance everything for me a bit more than I have been.
Anyway, a good day, not the classic Father's day of many folks, but it wasn't so bad. Got something done (hopefully, fingers still crossed, it takes a while for the grip of anxiety to wear off). But I'm a bit more settled than i have been in a while.
Roller coaster eh? But this time I put the brakes on and took a bit more control. Life's a process eh? Always testing, prodding, pushing I guess.
Being more mindful of where I step, not just blindly putting one foot in front of the other.
And I think writing has been helping. It helped me realize what the issues were that were super dark, helped me shake some of it, gave me some accountability for the new choice/change. Maybe I'll stick with it for a while.
heddwch
G
Happy Father's Day
Had meant to wake up extra early and get a start on working on the van before the sun got too high and the temps too warm.
But no dice.
Slept in a bit extra, not too much, made coffee, drank coffee and wrote RRRR recap.
now finishing coffee, staring at the gasket, had a dream I put the first gallon of coolant in to start the flush and wasted $20 and was furious at myself. Def going to keep that in mind as I head out.
Father's day hasn't really held that much significance. Some years I've gone for big bike rides, some years, many lately it seems, the girls are all off on a vacation with my in-laws, or something, and me here with the dog(s).
Hopefully I can get the van back together in a reasonable amount of time and then head into the bike shop, hopefully in the van to test all the stuff I've done before sending my wife off in it as her preferred daily driver (although she's been doing well with the Volvo all this time).
Okay. well. Here we go. Time to put the boots on, grab the safety glasses and go work out in the sun (there ain't no shade tree/garage for me).
heddwch
G
But no dice.
Slept in a bit extra, not too much, made coffee, drank coffee and wrote RRRR recap.
now finishing coffee, staring at the gasket, had a dream I put the first gallon of coolant in to start the flush and wasted $20 and was furious at myself. Def going to keep that in mind as I head out.
Father's day hasn't really held that much significance. Some years I've gone for big bike rides, some years, many lately it seems, the girls are all off on a vacation with my in-laws, or something, and me here with the dog(s).
Hopefully I can get the van back together in a reasonable amount of time and then head into the bike shop, hopefully in the van to test all the stuff I've done before sending my wife off in it as her preferred daily driver (although she's been doing well with the Volvo all this time).
Okay. well. Here we go. Time to put the boots on, grab the safety glasses and go work out in the sun (there ain't no shade tree/garage for me).
heddwch
G
RRRR 2.0 recap
What a ride.
It worked out, went well. We had 45 or so people +/- and a range of abilities that went from incredibly fast to just happy to be riding and looking for the challenge.
I headed out a few minutes later than planned. Relaxed morning. But light on the coffee I stuck with one cup, then filled a bottle with some instant coffee (hey it is cold and turns out, it tastes just like puting fresh good coffee in a bottle and drinking it a couple hours later) got dressed and skipped the sunscreen (tan line activation). One burn in three or four years is probably not the worst thing I've done. Actually has faded pretty well as of this morning. Not so bad.
Rolled out, felt slow. But timing wasn't so bad. Got there after Roger and Lesli but before most people. Got a large coffee from 7 Stars and chatted, worked on saying hi to people, welcoming them. Got a IG story with Softswerve as she rolled up but didn't post till after the ride. David B ran the reg/sign in like the smooth warm and welcoming pro that he is. We collected some extra cash at the start for 1PVD and rolled out as a group. The stoplight actually made the first split. I wound up rolling out with the last of them as Syl was kitting up and getting ready to go. David B was still in street clothes and wound up riding sweep with Giulia, at least until... i'll get to that.
Wound up with Lesli and Roger at the start there, we all promptly blew through the stop sign just like I had asked everyone not to and of course I got a bit of grief for that. Waved at Walter A in his front yard (derdowski shoutout), and headed down.
Everyone missed the first big red arrow and didn't turn until after the tracks, but I stopped and got the group in the right space. Then What? a tube? Half way down the first track section was an inner tube. Looked clean and flat. Best pick it up. Who knows. Also no sense in littering. I roll back up catch up to everyone walking over the railroad bridge, I ride it and am w/in this last group. We hit the first side section, I help navigate a bit, a good intro to how the course is marked for everyone, and then help a few with a sand bypass that skips a super fun but super sketchy downhill and some sand stuff, and by doing that found the best 'whoops' around, like no need to pedal perfectly spaced pump track. So fun.
We all gathered to re-group at Waterfront Drive and headed on to the next section, the road transfer. One of the few.
Yeah this ride isn't RdR level lots of road linking single track. This is lots of single track linked with a little bit of road. Syl had caught us by then and I took point and he agreed to drop back for now to ride sweep. we had a pretty large group at that point. Maybe half? 18-20 or so riders.
We hit the secret trail behind the park off Pawtucket Ave, cut through the neighborhood and over to the trails in Hunts Mills. At the fresh stuff along the creek/reservoir run off, I took some folks around to skip the rocky section. We got to the parking lot on the Seekonk side north of the road and Jack M had a flat. We waited for the stragglers to make it and Jack changed the flat, and my big Zefal HPX 4 got its first use. After a few minutes of socializing we sent everyone on. Soon Jack was back in biz and we headed off to catch up. And we did. To the tail end of everyone. Until we hit Jim with a flat tire.
He urged us not to wait but Jack wasn't having any of it and I was good with hanging and well, that turned out to be good. His spare tube wasn't holding air and that one that I picked up (Jim actually saw it fall out and the guy who dropped it said 'I have another one' and kept riding) worked. And he used the frame pump.
While that was happening Giulia and David rode up, truly riding sweep. Once Jim was underway we got our shit together and the five of us headed out. Only to join up with Softswerve and Syl and a couple others trying to figure out what to do with her bike and the broken fork. Like cracked ALMOST in half at the fork crown. Like Fuck that's BAD broken. Giulia and Softswerve walked out and made it to G's place to get a different bike for her to ride and finish the route, the rest of us headed onwards. Eventually we wound up catching up with the Chapman crew in the cemetery. Headed around up to the north section. Played in the sand there. Used the frame pump again maybe? Getting hazy about the middle use of the pump.
Hit the tracks and headed south. Syl and I had been taking turns riding sweep now that we'd lost the official sweep riders with the broken fork. David B helped a bit but he wound up being somewhere in the middle most of the time. Riding sweep isn't always the most fun, you're not riding your pace, but it is rewarding and gives you a nice sense of purpose, even if it means getting to the end of the ride 2+ hours after the leader. Yeah. Graham was on the money saying it would take some people over 4 hours to do the ride. I think we maybe did it in under 4 but my Garmin crapped out and didn't record the file so WHO KNOWS. Damn technology. It was pretty uneventful. The Chapman gang was def on a more relaxed pace, chilling and regrouping for a bit, quite a bit. But it def made it more social and fun and relaxed and was awesome. At one point Mitch got a flat. Took a bit to change, tire wasn't seating well, I actually took over to try and get it set up right. He didn't have a pump, but did have a tube. That took a while. The mosquitos found us and I figured everyone was long gone, we were going to improvise and backtrack to the bike path to catch up, but just as we decided to do that Syl shows up. They were all waiting for us on the tracks. And off we went into the scrub zone sand and the last root section and then through the farm field and back to G&G's house.
We ate some food, hung out, Burke even had time to ride home, shower, change clothes and bikes and get back before we rolled in.
It was a good time. It was a great ride. I guess it is a positive sign when everyone asks if we can do it again and soon. People made new friends, got to know others better and some just had a kick ass fun day on the bike that benefited a really important 100% volunteer run organization.
I think we'll do it again soon.
Heddwch,
G
It worked out, went well. We had 45 or so people +/- and a range of abilities that went from incredibly fast to just happy to be riding and looking for the challenge.
I headed out a few minutes later than planned. Relaxed morning. But light on the coffee I stuck with one cup, then filled a bottle with some instant coffee (hey it is cold and turns out, it tastes just like puting fresh good coffee in a bottle and drinking it a couple hours later) got dressed and skipped the sunscreen (tan line activation). One burn in three or four years is probably not the worst thing I've done. Actually has faded pretty well as of this morning. Not so bad.
Rolled out, felt slow. But timing wasn't so bad. Got there after Roger and Lesli but before most people. Got a large coffee from 7 Stars and chatted, worked on saying hi to people, welcoming them. Got a IG story with Softswerve as she rolled up but didn't post till after the ride. David B ran the reg/sign in like the smooth warm and welcoming pro that he is. We collected some extra cash at the start for 1PVD and rolled out as a group. The stoplight actually made the first split. I wound up rolling out with the last of them as Syl was kitting up and getting ready to go. David B was still in street clothes and wound up riding sweep with Giulia, at least until... i'll get to that.
Wound up with Lesli and Roger at the start there, we all promptly blew through the stop sign just like I had asked everyone not to and of course I got a bit of grief for that. Waved at Walter A in his front yard (derdowski shoutout), and headed down.
Everyone missed the first big red arrow and didn't turn until after the tracks, but I stopped and got the group in the right space. Then What? a tube? Half way down the first track section was an inner tube. Looked clean and flat. Best pick it up. Who knows. Also no sense in littering. I roll back up catch up to everyone walking over the railroad bridge, I ride it and am w/in this last group. We hit the first side section, I help navigate a bit, a good intro to how the course is marked for everyone, and then help a few with a sand bypass that skips a super fun but super sketchy downhill and some sand stuff, and by doing that found the best 'whoops' around, like no need to pedal perfectly spaced pump track. So fun.
We all gathered to re-group at Waterfront Drive and headed on to the next section, the road transfer. One of the few.
Yeah this ride isn't RdR level lots of road linking single track. This is lots of single track linked with a little bit of road. Syl had caught us by then and I took point and he agreed to drop back for now to ride sweep. we had a pretty large group at that point. Maybe half? 18-20 or so riders.
We hit the secret trail behind the park off Pawtucket Ave, cut through the neighborhood and over to the trails in Hunts Mills. At the fresh stuff along the creek/reservoir run off, I took some folks around to skip the rocky section. We got to the parking lot on the Seekonk side north of the road and Jack M had a flat. We waited for the stragglers to make it and Jack changed the flat, and my big Zefal HPX 4 got its first use. After a few minutes of socializing we sent everyone on. Soon Jack was back in biz and we headed off to catch up. And we did. To the tail end of everyone. Until we hit Jim with a flat tire.
He urged us not to wait but Jack wasn't having any of it and I was good with hanging and well, that turned out to be good. His spare tube wasn't holding air and that one that I picked up (Jim actually saw it fall out and the guy who dropped it said 'I have another one' and kept riding) worked. And he used the frame pump.
While that was happening Giulia and David rode up, truly riding sweep. Once Jim was underway we got our shit together and the five of us headed out. Only to join up with Softswerve and Syl and a couple others trying to figure out what to do with her bike and the broken fork. Like cracked ALMOST in half at the fork crown. Like Fuck that's BAD broken. Giulia and Softswerve walked out and made it to G's place to get a different bike for her to ride and finish the route, the rest of us headed onwards. Eventually we wound up catching up with the Chapman crew in the cemetery. Headed around up to the north section. Played in the sand there. Used the frame pump again maybe? Getting hazy about the middle use of the pump.
Hit the tracks and headed south. Syl and I had been taking turns riding sweep now that we'd lost the official sweep riders with the broken fork. David B helped a bit but he wound up being somewhere in the middle most of the time. Riding sweep isn't always the most fun, you're not riding your pace, but it is rewarding and gives you a nice sense of purpose, even if it means getting to the end of the ride 2+ hours after the leader. Yeah. Graham was on the money saying it would take some people over 4 hours to do the ride. I think we maybe did it in under 4 but my Garmin crapped out and didn't record the file so WHO KNOWS. Damn technology. It was pretty uneventful. The Chapman gang was def on a more relaxed pace, chilling and regrouping for a bit, quite a bit. But it def made it more social and fun and relaxed and was awesome. At one point Mitch got a flat. Took a bit to change, tire wasn't seating well, I actually took over to try and get it set up right. He didn't have a pump, but did have a tube. That took a while. The mosquitos found us and I figured everyone was long gone, we were going to improvise and backtrack to the bike path to catch up, but just as we decided to do that Syl shows up. They were all waiting for us on the tracks. And off we went into the scrub zone sand and the last root section and then through the farm field and back to G&G's house.
We ate some food, hung out, Burke even had time to ride home, shower, change clothes and bikes and get back before we rolled in.
It was a good time. It was a great ride. I guess it is a positive sign when everyone asks if we can do it again and soon. People made new friends, got to know others better and some just had a kick ass fun day on the bike that benefited a really important 100% volunteer run organization.
I think we'll do it again soon.
Heddwch,
G
Friday, June 15, 2018
If the plan doesn't work,
"If the plan doesn't work, change the plan, but never the goal."
Frustrating day. In many ways. Not in others, end result I kind of didn't get anything substantially accomplished, made more work for myself and well... got pretty frustrated for a while.
Instagram story caught the begining.
So short version, much like the passat and not really realizing that the problem was simply a started, not a clutch and going ahead with removing everything to take the transmission off and ordering all the parts only to really find the only thing wrong was the starter, well, I assumed the waterpump was dead. Symptoms seemed to fit it. Granted the hose had split, was blowing coolant out. Finding the clear reservoir empty, and filling it back up seemed logical that the pump was done.
The waterpump in all the diagrams and tutorials I saw showed it down in the bottom, easy to get to corner, no problem.
It wasn't there. It was the hardest place to get to.
I decided to drain the coolant though, didn't want to make a mess, not much came out. I should have seen that as - hey dumbass, you are wrong.
But nah, I drained it. Then took the waterpump out.
Obviously it was in perfect condition. no problem. The gasket wasn't though. I needed a new one. But I also discovered that the lower water pump pipe was so corroded that it was leaking. Oh that's new, as in not good. Hmm I wonder how long that's been going on. Shit I wonder how long the fucking radiator has been low.
Leading into it the night before I was woken up at 2:45 and subsequently went to pick up a freaked out kid from a sleepover a little while after that. Sure Sure coulda left them there to teach em a lesson but there were too many unknowns and i was awake at that point. Kind of disrupted that night and then it got busy and it has still been a long week. Original plan was to get this car done early, head to work or the bike shop.
I fell back asleep, was out cold, dreaming and everything until the kids came in at 10:15 and woke me up asking if i was going into work today.
Woops.
Coffee, moved the empty garbage and recycling cans in, moved the van into position.
more coffee, time to gather all the various bits and air compressor, jack, tools, from their spots all over the place (yeah i don't have a garage)... get started... get to that point, wife comes home early (summer hours, close at 1 on fridays) i head off to return the new waterpump (yeah yeah i should have just replaced it but the one in there had a more substantially attached impeller than the replacement and well, i figured I could get the $3 gasket at one of the dozen autopart stores around, they all have the pump instock. and besides I needed that lower metal pipe and the upper hose... and another gallon of unmixed coolant blah blah)
drove around, all the way to pawtucket where they supposedly had one but nope. could have made a gasket, nope, don't want to risk fucking it up and having to do it all over again.
got home, put the new hoses on, removed and cleaned up the overflow container, put it back on and put the front wheel back on and put everything away.
Then i realized I haven't eaten anything all day. Oddly not hungry all day. weird. or normal.
I didn't get the Crockett cleaned for tomorrow. I'm riding there, will get me an extra hour or so on the bike, will head home, get the part, get some more di water, i mean distilled not DeIonized water, and wrap that up tomorrow with luck.
My plans haven't been working lately, but the goal hasn't really changed.
RRRR is tomorrow. I'm going to be distracted, focused on the amount of shit i need to do, the lack of keeping up with the building of bikes, the pressing need to build the bikes to cover all the added expenses, juggling the rest of it all. There's a lot going on, I'm just hoping i can escape with everyone and ride and stuff tomorrow.
So yeah things are turning around, kind of. Back off the sauce. That brief return my eyes were getting worse, harder to see/focus, and a few other physical issues I noticed, just slow, tired but more than just tired. Now I'm just tired, and my eyes are almost back. All good things. But I'm anxious, to be honest, about how to deal with any social situation anymore. That being said in the open, well, plans change, the goal is still to have fun right? That original plan really doesn't work, although it is kind of fun, there's def a release and an activation with the first couple beers/vodka sodas, but as crazy as it sounds a couple times this week, I felt the same, identical, feeling, it was strange but weird and kind of cool.
All I gotta do now is get my shit together and start riding. But this week has been more pedaling time, esp looking at tomorrow, than in many many many...
i am tired and tomorrow is going to be early, esp if i'm going to get my shit together in time not to be late. I'd tossed around the idea of maybe attaching the crockett to the rack on the Crossrip+ just to cut the time down getting there but gave up on the idea. Just gonna get there under my own power, slow as can be but I'll get there.
I'll probably buy a cup of coffee, and sit down and wait for everyone to roll up/show up. Unless I'm late...
gotta remember the sunscreen. if i don't forget the sunscreen it will be the first time this year I've put any on. I got a bit too much sun on Thursday marking the course but no burn. Tomorrow will be more time in the sun, we'll see if I remember, or if I'll just be nursing a sunburn for a couple days.
be well
heddwch
G
Frustrating day. In many ways. Not in others, end result I kind of didn't get anything substantially accomplished, made more work for myself and well... got pretty frustrated for a while.
Instagram story caught the begining.
So short version, much like the passat and not really realizing that the problem was simply a started, not a clutch and going ahead with removing everything to take the transmission off and ordering all the parts only to really find the only thing wrong was the starter, well, I assumed the waterpump was dead. Symptoms seemed to fit it. Granted the hose had split, was blowing coolant out. Finding the clear reservoir empty, and filling it back up seemed logical that the pump was done.
The waterpump in all the diagrams and tutorials I saw showed it down in the bottom, easy to get to corner, no problem.
It wasn't there. It was the hardest place to get to.
I decided to drain the coolant though, didn't want to make a mess, not much came out. I should have seen that as - hey dumbass, you are wrong.
But nah, I drained it. Then took the waterpump out.
Obviously it was in perfect condition. no problem. The gasket wasn't though. I needed a new one. But I also discovered that the lower water pump pipe was so corroded that it was leaking. Oh that's new, as in not good. Hmm I wonder how long that's been going on. Shit I wonder how long the fucking radiator has been low.
Leading into it the night before I was woken up at 2:45 and subsequently went to pick up a freaked out kid from a sleepover a little while after that. Sure Sure coulda left them there to teach em a lesson but there were too many unknowns and i was awake at that point. Kind of disrupted that night and then it got busy and it has still been a long week. Original plan was to get this car done early, head to work or the bike shop.
I fell back asleep, was out cold, dreaming and everything until the kids came in at 10:15 and woke me up asking if i was going into work today.
Woops.
Coffee, moved the empty garbage and recycling cans in, moved the van into position.
more coffee, time to gather all the various bits and air compressor, jack, tools, from their spots all over the place (yeah i don't have a garage)... get started... get to that point, wife comes home early (summer hours, close at 1 on fridays) i head off to return the new waterpump (yeah yeah i should have just replaced it but the one in there had a more substantially attached impeller than the replacement and well, i figured I could get the $3 gasket at one of the dozen autopart stores around, they all have the pump instock. and besides I needed that lower metal pipe and the upper hose... and another gallon of unmixed coolant blah blah)
drove around, all the way to pawtucket where they supposedly had one but nope. could have made a gasket, nope, don't want to risk fucking it up and having to do it all over again.
got home, put the new hoses on, removed and cleaned up the overflow container, put it back on and put the front wheel back on and put everything away.
Then i realized I haven't eaten anything all day. Oddly not hungry all day. weird. or normal.
I didn't get the Crockett cleaned for tomorrow. I'm riding there, will get me an extra hour or so on the bike, will head home, get the part, get some more di water, i mean distilled not DeIonized water, and wrap that up tomorrow with luck.
My plans haven't been working lately, but the goal hasn't really changed.
RRRR is tomorrow. I'm going to be distracted, focused on the amount of shit i need to do, the lack of keeping up with the building of bikes, the pressing need to build the bikes to cover all the added expenses, juggling the rest of it all. There's a lot going on, I'm just hoping i can escape with everyone and ride and stuff tomorrow.
So yeah things are turning around, kind of. Back off the sauce. That brief return my eyes were getting worse, harder to see/focus, and a few other physical issues I noticed, just slow, tired but more than just tired. Now I'm just tired, and my eyes are almost back. All good things. But I'm anxious, to be honest, about how to deal with any social situation anymore. That being said in the open, well, plans change, the goal is still to have fun right? That original plan really doesn't work, although it is kind of fun, there's def a release and an activation with the first couple beers/vodka sodas, but as crazy as it sounds a couple times this week, I felt the same, identical, feeling, it was strange but weird and kind of cool.
All I gotta do now is get my shit together and start riding. But this week has been more pedaling time, esp looking at tomorrow, than in many many many...
i am tired and tomorrow is going to be early, esp if i'm going to get my shit together in time not to be late. I'd tossed around the idea of maybe attaching the crockett to the rack on the Crossrip+ just to cut the time down getting there but gave up on the idea. Just gonna get there under my own power, slow as can be but I'll get there.
I'll probably buy a cup of coffee, and sit down and wait for everyone to roll up/show up. Unless I'm late...
gotta remember the sunscreen. if i don't forget the sunscreen it will be the first time this year I've put any on. I got a bit too much sun on Thursday marking the course but no burn. Tomorrow will be more time in the sun, we'll see if I remember, or if I'll just be nursing a sunburn for a couple days.
be well
heddwch
G
Saturday, June 09, 2018
Unpacking
There was a bit there in that last one eh?
The timing of AB's suicide shook me a bit to be honest. Spent the day yesterday kind of in a huge fog. Major introspection I suppose. Folks that reached out - thanks, but one thing a few twitter threads helped to understand more clearly about myself. If you ask if someone like me, probably AB and a lot of others, they are going to decline the offer. Lots of reasons that don't make sense unless you're that very narrow type of person. Adam Myerson even had a tweet that hit it pretty square on. https://twitter.com/AdamMyerson/status/1005216169941504001?s=19 I def don't feel like I'm spreading the light but I will acknowledge that while I sometimes feel like a self centered asshole I do most everything for reasons not mine. Adam def correct, empaths are strange and if you're not one you won't ever get it. But still some of the more accurate reasons for declining like i said tend to be a variation of Embarrassment, Pride, Shame, Selfreliance. "I can do it, just not right now." Offers we get and we know are from the best places, too generous, can't be accepted. Often if we can't do it ourselves we're not deserving of accepting the help... maybe "we're" deserving, but being and feeling it are not the same and I usually don't think i'm deserving of it. This was one of the other threads, can't find the other one at the moment https://twitter.com/sheilakathleen/status/1005116845240848385?s=19
And these fogs and waves come and go. Some times far more intense and unexpected and once they settle little things that are normally dealt with are inconsequential, and then all the lingering deeper shit we normally can pack away or manage come to the surface. The feedback loop is really really fucked up. For some people. And then sometimes you have a couple weeks like I just did.
Yeah I admire those who say "just flip the switch" and can do it. I can't.
But I'm also to the point where I know enough that I can find the light and hang on and get through it.
myself.
The car thing is overhanging. Still haven't fixed the waterpump. I miss the days of close friends that it never felt like an imposition to see if people wanted to get together to fix the car. Was thinking about that this morning. That social side of self-reliance. I can fix it. But when. Then the pressures mount and the second job, the activities. The anxiety of today and getting everything done and people where they needed to be wound up sorting itself out.
Turned into: Not a problem. Once it did I was able to relax a little more, I spent the whole night thinking, not sleeping much, or just in a high functioning somewhat concious sleep space. I was going to head to the shop, but words were propagating in my head and i figured fuck it - I need to get them out, I'll get to work when I do. If i get home later and have to do grocery shopping before dinner? so be it. That or we wing it and I go shopping in the morning. Not going to worry about it.
For a change.
The van will get fixed and we'll be a one car family until it is. We'll get everything done, the oldest has planned her 18th birthday, a dinner out with her closest friends, considering I don't even remember mine I don't feel too bad, they are an adult and as long as they are having fun, and that group of kids has fun and is very supporting of each other. Yeah - no memory of my 18th but my 19th was a surprise party thrown by my GF and i didn't know it was a surprise or a party until everyone was there and were totally in a state of shock wondering why I wasn't cluing in on why everyone was there - it was awkward.
Bonus for waiting this long to ride in to work at the shop today is the bike path gets pretty empty even on the best days during the lunch 'hour' esp along the stretch from my house to the squantum place where I head north. Same when it is time to head home usually.
I still haven't called my dad. But then he hasn't called me either.
The dogs are here right next to me, both sleeping peacefully and I think would probably prefer that I just stay here and hang out with them all day and live the dog life of sleeping and being lazy.
I did wind up finally finishing book 7, Persepolis Rising. No resolution, guess we wait till book 8 to find out what happens.
Not sure I'm going to finish Children of Time by Adrian T. just can't seem to get into it, besides - i'm not a fan of giant super smart spiders.
Plenty to do besides read now that i've been able to finish that book.
Like get my ass out the door (lunch is already packed, just gotta put shoes on and helmet and head in.
I think i'll do that, get some bikes built, not stress on how fast I'm building them and just get it done, and do what I can do at a slower pace, a recovery pace.
heddwch
G
The timing of AB's suicide shook me a bit to be honest. Spent the day yesterday kind of in a huge fog. Major introspection I suppose. Folks that reached out - thanks, but one thing a few twitter threads helped to understand more clearly about myself. If you ask if someone like me, probably AB and a lot of others, they are going to decline the offer. Lots of reasons that don't make sense unless you're that very narrow type of person. Adam Myerson even had a tweet that hit it pretty square on. https://twitter.com/AdamMyerson/status/1005216169941504001?s=19 I def don't feel like I'm spreading the light but I will acknowledge that while I sometimes feel like a self centered asshole I do most everything for reasons not mine. Adam def correct, empaths are strange and if you're not one you won't ever get it. But still some of the more accurate reasons for declining like i said tend to be a variation of Embarrassment, Pride, Shame, Selfreliance. "I can do it, just not right now." Offers we get and we know are from the best places, too generous, can't be accepted. Often if we can't do it ourselves we're not deserving of accepting the help... maybe "we're" deserving, but being and feeling it are not the same and I usually don't think i'm deserving of it. This was one of the other threads, can't find the other one at the moment https://twitter.com/sheilakathleen/status/1005116845240848385?s=19
And these fogs and waves come and go. Some times far more intense and unexpected and once they settle little things that are normally dealt with are inconsequential, and then all the lingering deeper shit we normally can pack away or manage come to the surface. The feedback loop is really really fucked up. For some people. And then sometimes you have a couple weeks like I just did.
Yeah I admire those who say "just flip the switch" and can do it. I can't.
But I'm also to the point where I know enough that I can find the light and hang on and get through it.
myself.
The car thing is overhanging. Still haven't fixed the waterpump. I miss the days of close friends that it never felt like an imposition to see if people wanted to get together to fix the car. Was thinking about that this morning. That social side of self-reliance. I can fix it. But when. Then the pressures mount and the second job, the activities. The anxiety of today and getting everything done and people where they needed to be wound up sorting itself out.
Turned into: Not a problem. Once it did I was able to relax a little more, I spent the whole night thinking, not sleeping much, or just in a high functioning somewhat concious sleep space. I was going to head to the shop, but words were propagating in my head and i figured fuck it - I need to get them out, I'll get to work when I do. If i get home later and have to do grocery shopping before dinner? so be it. That or we wing it and I go shopping in the morning. Not going to worry about it.
For a change.
The van will get fixed and we'll be a one car family until it is. We'll get everything done, the oldest has planned her 18th birthday, a dinner out with her closest friends, considering I don't even remember mine I don't feel too bad, they are an adult and as long as they are having fun, and that group of kids has fun and is very supporting of each other. Yeah - no memory of my 18th but my 19th was a surprise party thrown by my GF and i didn't know it was a surprise or a party until everyone was there and were totally in a state of shock wondering why I wasn't cluing in on why everyone was there - it was awkward.
Bonus for waiting this long to ride in to work at the shop today is the bike path gets pretty empty even on the best days during the lunch 'hour' esp along the stretch from my house to the squantum place where I head north. Same when it is time to head home usually.
I still haven't called my dad. But then he hasn't called me either.
The dogs are here right next to me, both sleeping peacefully and I think would probably prefer that I just stay here and hang out with them all day and live the dog life of sleeping and being lazy.
I did wind up finally finishing book 7, Persepolis Rising. No resolution, guess we wait till book 8 to find out what happens.
Not sure I'm going to finish Children of Time by Adrian T. just can't seem to get into it, besides - i'm not a fan of giant super smart spiders.
Plenty to do besides read now that i've been able to finish that book.
Like get my ass out the door (lunch is already packed, just gotta put shoes on and helmet and head in.
I think i'll do that, get some bikes built, not stress on how fast I'm building them and just get it done, and do what I can do at a slower pace, a recovery pace.
heddwch
G
Thursday, June 07, 2018
Survived
Sort of. Kind of.
That weekend.
My mother was correct, I'm still struggling with some deep emotions about the weekend and the event and how to process it and it is a significant undercurrent that I really don't know what to do with or really where to find it inside. There's a knot of emotions, kind of a big one, one of the threads is my oldest kid's graduation. They are special, unique and I'm intensely proud of them. But also as familiar I feel a bit of a stranger in some respects. Then again I have a similar stranger relationship with my father. Sure, I know him, pretty well, but I don't know him. Not like my brother's do.
I started writing here to share Peter's story. Everyone's read it by now but I thought by going back to a time when we read something on the internet and shared it on our web logs, not twitter or Facebook.
https://cyclingtips.com/2018/06/lost-and-found-painful-memories-of-a-bike-tour-that-shaped-two-lives/
So yeah. I just finished reading that. It is pushing 5pm, the emails from while I was out of the office have almost all been replied to, unfortunately every one requires additional responses and I'm tired.
That weekend.
My mother was correct, I'm still struggling with some deep emotions about the weekend and the event and how to process it and it is a significant undercurrent that I really don't know what to do with or really where to find it inside. There's a knot of emotions, kind of a big one, one of the threads is my oldest kid's graduation. They are special, unique and I'm intensely proud of them. But also as familiar I feel a bit of a stranger in some respects. Then again I have a similar stranger relationship with my father. Sure, I know him, pretty well, but I don't know him. Not like my brother's do.
I started writing here to share Peter's story. Everyone's read it by now but I thought by going back to a time when we read something on the internet and shared it on our web logs, not twitter or Facebook.
https://cyclingtips.com/2018/06/lost-and-found-painful-memories-of-a-bike-tour-that-shaped-two-lives/
So yeah. I just finished reading that. It is pushing 5pm, the emails from while I was out of the office have almost all been replied to, unfortunately every one requires additional responses and I'm tired.
Saturday, June 02, 2018
Big weekend
So this weekend if a big one.
Felt the need to share this little anecdote. Ran through the social platforms. Don't want to have the wrong people see it, wanted to hit the audience that would get it.
Ahhh the old Dusty web log.
So I'm attaching two photos.
Not sure what order this platform will put them in. I'm doing dishes and don't see much of what the in laws bought at Shaw's. But we'll they need "their" stuff for breakfast. And yeah if not T2DM carrying and using a glucose meter is enough to paint picture.
Years and years. Discussions, evidence, anecdotes, science.
This is breakfast. The whole milk is for making ice cream, lattes, and Mac and cheese, and occasionally drinking.
At least I have a few minutes to cook dinner while everyone is out at the moment.
Frustrating but even more since this is here in my house now.
Oh well. Let's just keep everyone as happy and non confrontational as possible.
Back to making food for tonight and listening to Frank Turner radio on Pandora.
Heddwch,
G
G
(PS had to add photos with browser in desktop mode from the tablet - not the crappy app - but they are here..... )
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Hey Y'all
It has been a very long while.
Why?
dunno. no good answer. But maybe like all the breaks I take, they are designed to shed the hangers on, not the die hahds.
Life's strange. You know this. Anyone reading this has probably a few years on me or if not, you'll get there soon and know what I'm talking about.
My path is different.
Being different fucking sucks.
It means you can totally derail your day thinking about the fight you had with another kid in 6th grade and how all you want to do is find his all star athlete high school glory day fat ass and punch him square in the face.
But I won't. It won't fix anything. Won't help me. If i make it another decade or two it will just bother me the way the initial stuff does.
Things keep adding up, unaccounted variables. I try to keep doing what I can do, try to keep striving to be the best I can, falling short means I am hard on myself. no one else gives a shit if i do well or not, get it done well or not. The razor edge of my awareness. Uninfluenced by others, for good but mostly failing to meet my own standards, or the standards I see others seemingly easily achieve.
First blog back shouldn't be this, but it is. I've spent a couple months not drinking, absolutely no change, didn't lose weight, didn't feel any different, wasn't quite a tired, had a couple xtra dollars in my wallet (that I spent on burritos from Bagel Gormet) but no net positive change.
Not the best eh?
Could be worse.
Always could be worse. And i'm still guilty and grateful that it isn't, but each of our burdens are our own, this is mine,
maybe I'll write more, more reuglarly.
but I might not, someone might make fun of my shitty spelling
heddwch
G
Why?
dunno. no good answer. But maybe like all the breaks I take, they are designed to shed the hangers on, not the die hahds.
Life's strange. You know this. Anyone reading this has probably a few years on me or if not, you'll get there soon and know what I'm talking about.
My path is different.
Being different fucking sucks.
It means you can totally derail your day thinking about the fight you had with another kid in 6th grade and how all you want to do is find his all star athlete high school glory day fat ass and punch him square in the face.
But I won't. It won't fix anything. Won't help me. If i make it another decade or two it will just bother me the way the initial stuff does.
Things keep adding up, unaccounted variables. I try to keep doing what I can do, try to keep striving to be the best I can, falling short means I am hard on myself. no one else gives a shit if i do well or not, get it done well or not. The razor edge of my awareness. Uninfluenced by others, for good but mostly failing to meet my own standards, or the standards I see others seemingly easily achieve.
First blog back shouldn't be this, but it is. I've spent a couple months not drinking, absolutely no change, didn't lose weight, didn't feel any different, wasn't quite a tired, had a couple xtra dollars in my wallet (that I spent on burritos from Bagel Gormet) but no net positive change.
Not the best eh?
Could be worse.
Always could be worse. And i'm still guilty and grateful that it isn't, but each of our burdens are our own, this is mine,
maybe I'll write more, more reuglarly.
but I might not, someone might make fun of my shitty spelling
heddwch
G
Friday, May 04, 2018
Thursday, February 08, 2018
I should use more words
But listen to this:
https://youtu.be/WB3IQMZm7CQ
this mother fucker gets it...
an absolute inspriration to me growing up...
his words, his novels...
i've been thinking a lot about that dude who died, the story i posted yesteday, if i spoiled it for you i'm sorry, i read it with hope that his ginger ass would succeed, but he didn't. Fueling. not enough fat, too many carbs.
life...
live like the inuits... Mowat's whole convention... if we don't we're doomed. And pretty much I can't disagree with him, we are.
still. even more so maybe in light of the politics of this fucked up nation we live in...
I should try and sleep, but oddly want to write, after listening to one of the absolute pillars of my formative years talk.
I do what i do. it is what it is. It is really for others. and hopefully i'll come to terms with it... some day...
heddwch
G
https://youtu.be/WB3IQMZm7CQ
this mother fucker gets it...
an absolute inspriration to me growing up...
his words, his novels...
i've been thinking a lot about that dude who died, the story i posted yesteday, if i spoiled it for you i'm sorry, i read it with hope that his ginger ass would succeed, but he didn't. Fueling. not enough fat, too many carbs.
life...
live like the inuits... Mowat's whole convention... if we don't we're doomed. And pretty much I can't disagree with him, we are.
still. even more so maybe in light of the politics of this fucked up nation we live in...
I should try and sleep, but oddly want to write, after listening to one of the absolute pillars of my formative years talk.
I do what i do. it is what it is. It is really for others. and hopefully i'll come to terms with it... some day...
heddwch
G
Wednesday, February 07, 2018
Still here
it has been a while, i know...
much to say, maybe soon. I almost wrote about the ride on sunday, maybe I will.
Things are different, busier than i could ever imagined, but fulfilling in a different way than before.
More alone and isolated but the introvert side is relishing it, and the absence of CX race socialization was surprisingly not missed...
I took a bit more time than I should have and read this. Start to finish.
Fucking hell the New Yorker has long articles. This one was worth it, esp since I didn't know how it ended...
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/02/12/the-white-darkness
I'll be back, sooner maybe? I miss writing, even if it just the act of doing a web log centered around me. I mean what's the importance of me? That said there were moments of reading that essay that reminded me of the days of just trying to get to the 100 mile mark. Or riding all day in shitty weather, low on fuel and just trying to get home so I can stop. Riding through the heat of the summer with empty bottles hoping to get home before the worst happens. Incredibly minor personal threats, but being stubborn and wanting to finish alone and unassisted is kind of the same mental state.
Maybe that's where i'm at now, working more than ever for the same pay check but deliberately pushing on because that's what I do?
and I'm still at work...
wrapping up or i'll never escape.
i hope the ice has melted. studded tire bike is at home...
heddwch
g
much to say, maybe soon. I almost wrote about the ride on sunday, maybe I will.
Things are different, busier than i could ever imagined, but fulfilling in a different way than before.
More alone and isolated but the introvert side is relishing it, and the absence of CX race socialization was surprisingly not missed...
I took a bit more time than I should have and read this. Start to finish.
Fucking hell the New Yorker has long articles. This one was worth it, esp since I didn't know how it ended...
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/02/12/the-white-darkness
I'll be back, sooner maybe? I miss writing, even if it just the act of doing a web log centered around me. I mean what's the importance of me? That said there were moments of reading that essay that reminded me of the days of just trying to get to the 100 mile mark. Or riding all day in shitty weather, low on fuel and just trying to get home so I can stop. Riding through the heat of the summer with empty bottles hoping to get home before the worst happens. Incredibly minor personal threats, but being stubborn and wanting to finish alone and unassisted is kind of the same mental state.
Maybe that's where i'm at now, working more than ever for the same pay check but deliberately pushing on because that's what I do?
and I'm still at work...
wrapping up or i'll never escape.
i hope the ice has melted. studded tire bike is at home...
heddwch
g
Sunday, December 03, 2017
Ugh
Everyone said "go to the cross race, you'll really regret it if you don't, you need to connect with friends"
Dumbest idea ever, waste of an afternoon. I don't regret hanging with those I was able to, seeing and reconnecting with good friends, more failure of other aspects.
I'm on sick a negative headspace right now that I should stop before I say more.
But I guess I shouldn't have expected anything more than disappointment from some people who I have everything to.
Should have stayed home.
Now to make dinner.
Saturday, November 25, 2017
Good Bye Dear Sir
Pinacle of your birth year, standard bearer for your cadre.
You lived your life as a social worker, helping others till mandated retirement.
You kicked prostate cancer in the ass, lost your ass in the process and wore a shit bag for 17 years.
Freddie. I miss already miss you. Your wife is amazing, but you were special.
I'm failing writing beyond this...
never will i ever forget your sparkling eyes, your enigmatic smile, your love fore life and the love for the underdog.
the recognition that we fight against the exploiters every day, and every minor win should be seen as a victory...
I will forever miss your counsel.
grateful for the moments you shared with me... looking at your children I'm absolutely in awe and hope I can be as much a father to mine as you were to yours.
Rest in Peace Freddie...
we're gonna miss you terribly... but at least you don't have to suffer anymore of this Trump bullshit, maybe you're the lucky one.
your spirit will live through me, internally, and from me those i can reach, and through them you...
heddwch
G
You lived your life as a social worker, helping others till mandated retirement.
You kicked prostate cancer in the ass, lost your ass in the process and wore a shit bag for 17 years.
Freddie. I miss already miss you. Your wife is amazing, but you were special.
I'm failing writing beyond this...
never will i ever forget your sparkling eyes, your enigmatic smile, your love fore life and the love for the underdog.
the recognition that we fight against the exploiters every day, and every minor win should be seen as a victory...
I will forever miss your counsel.
grateful for the moments you shared with me... looking at your children I'm absolutely in awe and hope I can be as much a father to mine as you were to yours.
Rest in Peace Freddie...
we're gonna miss you terribly... but at least you don't have to suffer anymore of this Trump bullshit, maybe you're the lucky one.
your spirit will live through me, internally, and from me those i can reach, and through them you...
heddwch
G
Thursday, October 26, 2017
time ... POOF
between demos, de-installs and new installs...
this is about as much time as I have to write.
i also just finished lunch because sometimes the simplest shit gets time consuming and complicated.
haven't ridden the new bike since before CO
that's like a month almost
weird shit man
heddwch
G
this is about as much time as I have to write.
i also just finished lunch because sometimes the simplest shit gets time consuming and complicated.
haven't ridden the new bike since before CO
that's like a month almost
weird shit man
heddwch
G
Thursday, October 12, 2017
Ah a TBT
Almost clicked the "share this memory" button on face place...
but didn't,
I did read through it though,
this was the memory: http://velocb.blogspot.com/2015/10/when-bodies-hit-floor.html
and well, I smiled, that was a good race
On the ride in this morning I also had a pang of heart break as I remembered Chris M, and his hugs at MRC/Midnight Ride/Bolton Fairgrounds specifically the the FB memory tied in well with that ache
Missing him.
But hey lets toss something positive in here. Tomac. The Legend.
This is a great video to spend a few minutes watching.
heddwch
G
but didn't,
I did read through it though,
this was the memory: http://velocb.blogspot.com/2015/10/when-bodies-hit-floor.html
and well, I smiled, that was a good race
On the ride in this morning I also had a pang of heart break as I remembered Chris M, and his hugs at MRC/Midnight Ride/Bolton Fairgrounds specifically the the FB memory tied in well with that ache
Missing him.
But hey lets toss something positive in here. Tomac. The Legend.
This is a great video to spend a few minutes watching.
heddwch
G
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Avoidance? or Unavoidable acceptance?
What you talking about now fool?
Me? Oh the normal.
Cyclocross.
What else is there to talk about in the fall?
What else do you do in the fall?
Me? Oh the normal.
Cyclocross.
What else is there to talk about in the fall?
What else do you do in the fall?
Monday, October 02, 2017
Checking in
Cross posting from here, can't seem to get image here from mobile app so click for photo
https://www.instagram.com/p/BZxVu0vjrKR/
It is intensely gorgeous here. I'm constantly trying to capture what is here, and feel like I'm failing to do more than collect the roughest of sketches. The scope and granduer of the San Luis Valley, the Rio Grande National Forest and all the surrounds is humbling.
We met two men riding bikes from Canada to Mexico along the divide trail while we were cutting wood up on Carnero Pass. One remarked it was such a needed escape from the state to the world. Humbling and heart warming to be reminded of the natural beauty, and the open and welcoming people you meet in person along such a journey.
Lots of words, many more photos not shared but maybe I'll find a place for those who want to see them. We've got a few more days of high altitude work, aside from getting winded a bit easily it is pretty nice here at 7,707'
Heddwch
G
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
9/12 smackdoiwn report
seems that the delicate balance of a fast group ride with a handful of people and a range of abilities is too complicated for some to grasp, or it is a cocept that these new fast kids who found cycling, showed some talent, got a coach and a power meter seem to have never learned.
I'm no way in shape even two weeks ago as an odd peak in speed seemed to happen to stay in the lead group. We has a good second group together coming up Rocky hill and then the front group doubled back for some odd reason.
still wrestling with how to get them to get it. how to get them to realize that there is always someone who is the fastest in the group ride like smackdown and those who get dropped. However the fastest has a choice. They can look around and keep the pace high enough to keep a selection of fast riders together. The slowest can only hope to hang on a bit longer than the week before.
Regroup points are designed to allow the fastest to go hard and win the sprint points but then wait for those around that they dropped to get back on and get going again. Not to wait for the old tired slow out of shape non-racing big guy on the cyclocross bike.
I rolled up hillside abjectly and absolutely alone. And they were all hanging out. WTF leave me to my suffering... ugh. I got dropped waiting for Mark, who never really showed up until Syl and I stopped completely at 152 to wait. He appeared and we rode back together.
Caroline and Burke took the shortcut through Wheeler, and i just didn't want to cut the course short, wanted to know what the metric was on the loop segment. More time alone.
The ride was good. I can feel a bit more strength coming back, I feel good and solid on the bike, just not as fast as I would like but fast enough that when things come together it is good.
CX practice took a bit of the edge off my legs this morning, as did a bit of the day, and a couple nights in a row with sub-optimal sleep and no down time at all.
But it was good, only a few more rides, gonna ruminate on how best to try and help the insanely fast kids figure out how to not be frustrated on the ride.
BB on the black blue is creaking differently now, maybe this crank (the older one) is starting to fail... that's not ideal... could just be the BB though, maybe the frame is dying... It has a couple more rides at least perhaps. the new bike isn't going to be ready for duty and it will be CXy only and single speed for now.
I'm not trying to get fast enough to run the smackdown like I did for a while, I just want to help those who are fast enough to understand and get out of the ride what so many have in the past.
my brain is really tired right now, so is the body, maybe this bodes well for sleeping... time to wash the salt off from the ride and unplug for a bit,
heddwch
G
I'm no way in shape even two weeks ago as an odd peak in speed seemed to happen to stay in the lead group. We has a good second group together coming up Rocky hill and then the front group doubled back for some odd reason.
still wrestling with how to get them to get it. how to get them to realize that there is always someone who is the fastest in the group ride like smackdown and those who get dropped. However the fastest has a choice. They can look around and keep the pace high enough to keep a selection of fast riders together. The slowest can only hope to hang on a bit longer than the week before.
Regroup points are designed to allow the fastest to go hard and win the sprint points but then wait for those around that they dropped to get back on and get going again. Not to wait for the old tired slow out of shape non-racing big guy on the cyclocross bike.
I rolled up hillside abjectly and absolutely alone. And they were all hanging out. WTF leave me to my suffering... ugh. I got dropped waiting for Mark, who never really showed up until Syl and I stopped completely at 152 to wait. He appeared and we rode back together.
Caroline and Burke took the shortcut through Wheeler, and i just didn't want to cut the course short, wanted to know what the metric was on the loop segment. More time alone.
The ride was good. I can feel a bit more strength coming back, I feel good and solid on the bike, just not as fast as I would like but fast enough that when things come together it is good.
CX practice took a bit of the edge off my legs this morning, as did a bit of the day, and a couple nights in a row with sub-optimal sleep and no down time at all.
But it was good, only a few more rides, gonna ruminate on how best to try and help the insanely fast kids figure out how to not be frustrated on the ride.
BB on the black blue is creaking differently now, maybe this crank (the older one) is starting to fail... that's not ideal... could just be the BB though, maybe the frame is dying... It has a couple more rides at least perhaps. the new bike isn't going to be ready for duty and it will be CXy only and single speed for now.
I'm not trying to get fast enough to run the smackdown like I did for a while, I just want to help those who are fast enough to understand and get out of the ride what so many have in the past.
my brain is really tired right now, so is the body, maybe this bodes well for sleeping... time to wash the salt off from the ride and unplug for a bit,
heddwch
G
TAKIN TIME OFF HOLY CRAP
Booked some flights dude. Heading to ColoRADo for a week. With my brothers. All fahkin four of us dude.
Dad's not doing great, and yeah maybe we all need to spread it out but maybe that's next step, currently we'll all be there, together, do what we can do, gather firewood for the winter, help cook big piles of meals and freeze and portion them out, work on shit around the house for him, drink lots of cheap beer.
Not so much a vacation as a change of scenery but it will be a good thing.
This morning started way better than yesterday, shitty night sleep but oddly shitty, not for a good reason, just one weird dream, then randomly waking up. Nothing to pin it on. Got up earlier to try and make it to India Point Park for CX skills and drills with Marcus. Dani and David B where there when I finally rolled up later than planned. But still with plenty to do. Worked on some remounts with them, set up a mini-course with the cones I brought, did a handful of mini-races. Start, two laps, dismount and run up hill, first one with a wrong side off camber dismount to help figure out how to conquer that, then a longer run with require shouldering of the bike. I did the latter one a couple times, on road tires, stating on grass and dirt with slicks kind of don't work, spun the tires a bit and the turns are less than confidence inspiring with 28s and 80psi.
Felt good to open up the lungs and sprint up hill with the bike.
Just got an email with order confirmation from Trek saying the crockett is ON THE WAY, shit i better order the cranks. Lighting fire to the credit card this week i guess, not cheap ticket to CO, bike, cranks and other bits to make it work... oof, oh well, it is only money. At least there are still bikes to build. But that season is winding down slowly... but IIRC by this time last year I was done at the other shop, this one should keep rolling for a bit longer, they may cut enough other staff that maybe I'll stay on even longer than I am anticipating. We'll see.
Okay, I've snacked and written enough, fixed one issue, waiting for call back from service engineers on two more. Productive but relaxed morning and words that aren't grumpy and dark for a change.
SMACKDOWN TONIGHT, and well, Dani is back and she's going to be there and she's going to rip everyone's legs off. Very likely looking like there'll be two groups. Hopefully big Eian will be there and I can motorpace a bit.
as always: we'll see
heddwch
G
Dad's not doing great, and yeah maybe we all need to spread it out but maybe that's next step, currently we'll all be there, together, do what we can do, gather firewood for the winter, help cook big piles of meals and freeze and portion them out, work on shit around the house for him, drink lots of cheap beer.
Not so much a vacation as a change of scenery but it will be a good thing.
This morning started way better than yesterday, shitty night sleep but oddly shitty, not for a good reason, just one weird dream, then randomly waking up. Nothing to pin it on. Got up earlier to try and make it to India Point Park for CX skills and drills with Marcus. Dani and David B where there when I finally rolled up later than planned. But still with plenty to do. Worked on some remounts with them, set up a mini-course with the cones I brought, did a handful of mini-races. Start, two laps, dismount and run up hill, first one with a wrong side off camber dismount to help figure out how to conquer that, then a longer run with require shouldering of the bike. I did the latter one a couple times, on road tires, stating on grass and dirt with slicks kind of don't work, spun the tires a bit and the turns are less than confidence inspiring with 28s and 80psi.
Felt good to open up the lungs and sprint up hill with the bike.
Just got an email with order confirmation from Trek saying the crockett is ON THE WAY, shit i better order the cranks. Lighting fire to the credit card this week i guess, not cheap ticket to CO, bike, cranks and other bits to make it work... oof, oh well, it is only money. At least there are still bikes to build. But that season is winding down slowly... but IIRC by this time last year I was done at the other shop, this one should keep rolling for a bit longer, they may cut enough other staff that maybe I'll stay on even longer than I am anticipating. We'll see.
Okay, I've snacked and written enough, fixed one issue, waiting for call back from service engineers on two more. Productive but relaxed morning and words that aren't grumpy and dark for a change.
SMACKDOWN TONIGHT, and well, Dani is back and she's going to be there and she's going to rip everyone's legs off. Very likely looking like there'll be two groups. Hopefully big Eian will be there and I can motorpace a bit.
as always: we'll see
heddwch
G
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