What a motherfucking day.
Too late maybe to re-cap appropriately.
But I may try anyway.
Devastated by the unexpected precariousness of a friendship, battling schedule curveballs and insanity... Friday's planned ride (two weeks of mental heart setting on) was coming either at the perfect time or at the absolutely worst time.
The answer to both is yes.
The worst. Free fall, yeah if you're reading this who ever you are, you know last week kind of wasn't one of my better ones.
But perfect timing. But man. I think honestly at one point it was the lowest, worst, hardest, most difficult 31 miles. Given what I did in May, and the fact that I never hit that point the whole month, well hey well, maybe I was just on borrowed time.
Or lucky, or good. My mother-in-law is fond of saying "better lucky than good" and I've certainly fallen into that more than not, despite trying to be good, but failing obviously most of the time. Lucky? Happens rarely but it does, just enough to keep from giving up totally.
The morning was a cluster. but i got the bike ready, I made coffee but i had no time to make a proper breakfast, or prepare a proper fueling for the hundo attempt. I had fuel, but new/different. And starting the day with what I ate was a total handicap.
Also, to make it even more challenging? A handful of the best guys i know joined in for the first loop but then bailed because of kids and being awesome dads and stuff like that.
I felt mostly great in those first 50+ miles. Dropped back and struggled on the steepest pitches but hey - outweighing everyone by 30+ pounds is a price to pay. But I also really pushed it on that first loop.
And I didn't eat anything or drink any calories. And I started the day once i stopped being hungry, actually was hungry. Kind of perfect storm.
Set it up well though.
Finished that first loop. Def cracked a bit on the last section. Made it to the second seven stars bakery. And bought a big cookie and a large ice coffee. And drank 2.5 bottles of water.
So yeah - first plan, three loops, stop at all three Seven Stars bakeries, hit the Scituate reservoir and the one up there by Diamond Hill and after that realized that the Turner counted as the 3rd and that's just after the 3rd Seven stars. And then Goldberg pointed out that we hit three different bike paths.
The Second loop was the struggle. But only after 20 miles.
Mile 71 was remarkable. Holyfuck the wheels just fell off. I dunno where that was, but i do remember toggling through on the cateye velo 7 to find the mileage.
Bloated, energy stores depleted, just totally fucking off.
But i'm a stubborn motherfucker, no way, not giving up and Goldberg is the best, literally, the best. He was patient with me as I struggled every time it pitched up. And yeah, hey fuckhead, you picked a not hilly route for the first two loops.
Awesome.
But it kind of was. Goldberg's kindness, his demeanor, his aura, his awesomeness.... totally transformed me and was the catalyst that allowed me to go from super negative to super positive. A total polarity switch.
I was negative and touch and go getting to the ride, a handful of things had triggered hulksmash. I let them go mostly but the triggering was a bad sign. emotional batteries totally at zero. hey go figure, careful.... Don't make connections that will call out people's life choices. Sorry, woops.
I struggled. And struggled. We made it to the Blackstone bike path visitor park center, and a very attractive RI blonde park ranger asked where we were from because we were definitely not from RI (accent) but allowed us use of the bathroom and i was able to get some water.
And we paused, at the most crazy display on the picnic table, and talked. And I ate my last bit of food. But it was a pause...
very much pivotal point... the next handful of miles weren't great, and I looked at the mileage, was doing mental calcs, i could ride home and get in the hundo, skip that last loop, just ride home into the headwind.
Goldberg held me to the storyline. Held me to the goal, but in the most gentle encouraging supportive way possible. I need that. I can see it but i need someone to guide me at times. We stopped. Mostly just to fill waterbottles. The woman there looked SUPER familiar, can't place her face with location. Initially the idea was to get a shot of espresso for the final loop...
Sticking with water was the right choice.
We crossed over the Turner resevoir, my initial thoughts were to totally bail and just turn right on Arcade and take the easiest way home, but... that was the same point my legs came back, I felt good. Sore, and feeling the miles but I felt like it was time to ride another hundo. And called an audible and we headed the long way home.
With the headwind I did NOT want to ride south on the bike path.
But at that point, a switch flipped, maybe Goldberg was flipping it the whole time but boom, it worked. And wow.
What a change. I felt kind of freaking SO MUCH BETTER!
Goldberg... he's done it time and time again, this time more needed than ever, he's got this transformative healing power, maybe it is the fact that I know how hard he worked the days leading up to Friday so he could take the day and ride with me. I know the effort and sacrifice he put in to make it happen.
Not just Friday, but the 31st of May, also the ride to Plymouth.
Indebted. Wishing I could replay in the same currency that i was paid in, but my account is so overdrawn that all i can say is that I'm forever in his debt, and I'm happy with that.
I completed the storyline... finished all three loops... doesn't look much like a Poison Ivy plant, def more of an orchid (wife suggested it was very suggestive) or my dear friend Russ "like a majestic dragon rearing up"
or whatever...
completely...
storyline complete...
and June Hundo done.
Mileage is slacking but May was an asterix.
4,000 miles but the end of June is still in reach and if I can make that happen it will be good.
Not sure I can make it happen alone.
But I didn't get to this point alone.
And those who got me here, thank you.
Looking for the bright spots.
Friday was absolutely the brightest. and the darkest.
Today was tough, realizing most people my age aren't working two jobs just to make ends meet and still being the butt of the joke "hey lets by something with GeWilli's credit card, oh wait, we need to spend a couple thousand, there's only like $50 on there" truth hurts... life sucks but sacrifices are hopefully worth it and well, my perspective is different than most.
We'll see what tomorrow brings... maybe a ride with my #PVDvelo best friends, maybe I'll just go to work esp since my good bike is called into question as to being a good bike, "what is you good bike" this is it, "no really, you work at a bike shop, what is your good bike?" "this is it and no it isn't good and it is a reflection of pretty much everything." But hey.
whatever....
Friday was an awesome day.
I'll have another day like that.
I don't think I'll repeat what JLSCX and I did last year on the longest day this year. But I don't think i really want to repeat that ride as it would dilute the memories I created with James.
Life's pretty crazy.
but damn i bet it beats the alternative...
I'm indebted forever to so many
heddwch
G
No comments:
Post a Comment