what is a day off?

A take the kid to school, do the weekend shopping, dishes, eat, airport run, yard work, kid pick up, make dinner, do dishes.

Read?

No more progress on the bathroom. Maybe tomorrow after work. Yeah, sigh, full packed day. Just like everyday, but this is there and doesn't feel like i've had much of  a break. Going to be interesting I suppose. Working with good people all day so that always makes it worthwhile.

But no bikes since...  Thursday late night in the dark. Still no sign of my jackets.

Must have mis-counted on the Pred pills cause i'm down to not the right number. Either I took too many or the pill slider fucked up and shorted me a couple. Hopefully this will be enough of a taper that my adrenal glands don't 'infarct' as my doc said they would w/o it.

Legs were itchy and only moderately disruptive last night, better and better but so strange to have it go so long and intense. I haven't looked at the weather in days, this is strange. Okay not true - i looked at it for Sunday and the possible MTB but not since then.

Van's making a different new noise, maybe was there all along but wheelbearing masked it? Or they put the wheelbearing in wrong? Or? Oh and the change oil indicator came on, gotta deal with that. And STILL deal with the Volvo.

I know it is Really Rad CX this weekend out on the cape, but a 8:45 start for the 40+ at $41 before Bikereg fees for a 40 min race when I haven't shifted a CX bike since August and have not time or desire to put gears on the bike. I suppose the 2/3/4 race option is there but no gears and same price and I just can't find the joy in signing up and doing it. So I probably won't race there.  Cheshire? Way to far away. Nope, nope nope nope. I guess it is more not race in peak CXy time. Does that mean a trip to NoHo? Maybe. Why not? Better question might be why bother.

The SSCX races are fun enough to draw me out, to get me to sign up, but beyond that I'm not finding the motivation.

Didn't even go MTB'n this weekend. Maybe the bathroom progress over Wed and Thurs will have a ride window and more importantly someone to show me around some trails.

Mostly needed to get the race logic out of my brain.

The Bosstones quote by KF over on IG this morning got me thinking. Can't seem to post a IG comment w/o massively fucking up the words, one of them I couldn't remember what I had intended to swipe after posting and re-reading. And I even found and made a few corrections before posting, but not all the errors.

"Sometimes you have to  be the punch line. Sometimes you get to tell the joke"

The whole lyrics are abs good - someone on twitter was saying Ska for ever!
Well yeah. Duh.  Am I more Ska than Punk? maybe. Mustard Plug and Thigh High Nylons blew my mind when I first heard it on the radio.

Those lyrics tho

Sometimes, sometimes you've got to be the punch line
Well and sometimes, sometimes you get to tell the joke
There's no difference on the end that you end up on
I've got a preference I'll defend right, right over wrong
I won't wait till they say when
Or wait for them to tell me when I can
Why would I wait for them
If I waited for them then
I'd be no different than them
And I'm so certain that I am
Someone, someone will try to be the hammer
And someone, somebody ends up as the nail
Who cares what end you end up on
Hammers break and nails bend
I'll still take right, right over wrong
And that's what I'll defend
That's what I'm defending
I won't wait till they say when
Or wait for them to tell me when I can
Why would I wait for them
If I waited for them then
I'd be no different than them
And I'm so certain that I am
I won't wait till they say when
Or wait for them to tell me when I can
Why would I wait for them
If I waited for them then
I'd be no different than them
And I'm so certain that I am
Sometimes you've got to be the punch line
Sometimes you get to tell the joke

Ah - dig it up if you haven't heard it - what is it about the horns?

Anyway - the line got me thinking about accepting being the punch line, how it hasn't always been easy for me being the punch line, infact impossible. Got thinking about my childhood, got thinking about how my brain is wired. 'Sperg/Spectrum...  i was normal enough to be normal but different enough to be really different. There was a talk at the symposium looking at VLA? exposure and how it caused cerebral disruption by creating too many synapses. Too many connections in the brain and how that is tied to behavior. I saw/thought about it as an asset to be leveraged, but, yeah, there's something else there...  too far and it doesn't work. Too different.

So yeah been in this loop the punch line added to it this morning, but really it is all linked in to what I cannot put into words.

Best sleep, or at least stop writing my brain up into a frenzy.

heddwch
G