insane

I didn't realize how much of my brain is being overwhelmed by anxiety about the new roof. No idea when they are going to get here, will it be too cold, are the cars in the way, should we move them tonight? Tomorrow morning? Will the base wood of the roof be ok? Will the temp inside the install quality? Will the dogs be ok while it is all going on outside? 

I'm vibrating with anxious energy, logically I know, I gave them money, they will do it, I don't have to do anything. But.

Ugh.

Was able to escape a little on the mtb yesterday and today. But today I crashed hard, been the brake lever, drive the end of my bar into the from of my hip. 

But once the joy and distraction or riding well and having fun wore off it was a chore. Post crash I was wondering if I can get parts, will it bend back, are there brakes available even? 

It bent back but I almost crashed a handful of times riding back to the car. Just bring distracted. Bent it back to unnoticeable condition once home. No big deal. 

But can't shake the roof anxiety. Can't quite feel ok. Oh and the new quarter million dollar laser is acting up and I'm out of the office till wed and can't likely do much till then. 

I'm a wreck and don't know how to fix it. 

And this time change sucks. 

This morning's list of stuff just sounded cursed. Busted spokes, forgotten helmet, no sleep and no show, late, me crash... 

Identifying the source and cause of my sorry temper and shit mood doesn't seem to fix it this time. 

Hopefully I can make it through the next 24 hours and come out the other side better.

We'll see. 

Ugh

Heddwch,

G