comes back to craft

 to skill

to the intersection of passion, talent, opportunity...

timing

life

the words written there over on Stevil's page about Mark S's passing

what is life?

what are experiences?

Shared? private what is ones legacy?

I remember realzing so many fucking years ago...  what you leave behind is you, your imprint, you gain immortality by being carried along in the memories of those you touched, few of us have an impact beyond a generation, almost none of us do, but everyone born, that grows up around others, leaves some sort of imprint, good or bad, it is something.

I was going to leave, I got my shoes on, HRM on, i think i turned the Wahoo on...

and brain just wouldn't stop. Allan via Adam, has pushed the brain into some crazy deep introspective loop...

It isn't warm outside, it is dark, I have a workout to do when I get home and dinner to make in some order or the other

but i'm sitting here thinking

but dissipating now, perhaps this was enough to be able to move forward

it needs to be, it's now later and the words aren't flowing, more or less weaving back and forth not sure where to go or what is going on...

lost? adrift? a waste?

no anchor? maybe that's everything that has always been my problem...  i don't have an anchor, no mooring, yet I haven't moved much since I first raced Eco-cross way back... heading there Saturday... racing twice... not sure what to do, how to go forward...

i want to hit play on all the voicemails i have saved from my dad, to hear his voice again, but everytime I go to look at them...  i stop, i don't hit play...

time to pedal, time to let the wind be the only sound I hear and my knee to mark every pedal stroke

heddwch
G