continuing on down the road to Asheville

Big major positive developments in some areas that give confidence and encouragement towards a successful trip to CX Nats have happened. Namely a couple options for places to sleep, schedules coming down into place, mentally deciding what to race, focus. What hasn't come into place? the whole registration thing. Selling a handful of prints so far has actually covered the cost of the bulk of the races this fall, but there are two big ones left to sign up for, CX Nats, 45-49 and I think I've decided on SSCX, why not? Why not? Because it is fun and while this is super serious it is also two opportunities and if i'm there on Friday why not stay till Sunday. See the logic there? If I'm done racing on Wed then it makes little sense to stay just to watch and it would create some serious personal internal conflicts if i did. It sounds pretty simple and kind of silly articulating that it makes that much of a difference but, I'm being honest. What else can I be here but that.

So the road is moving on, NBX weekend is coming up, Super stoked, also a bit anxious but in a good way. There's a tremendous amount of pressure but I've found a balance I think. Not letting it get to me, but acknowledging it and letting it be there as a positive motivator. Identifying more specifics to focus on as other things fall into place out of habituation and integrated as instinct. NBX, the last big focus before Nationals. How many races left? These two, this weekend, then there's the race out in Sandwich on the 20th, head to Virginia, then head to nationals for those two races. Moving from race focus to focusing on training intensity and carrying whatever gains I have managed to find.

Some races seem to be great, some just the opposite, results seem very inconsistent for me, esp with the cross results points but that's great actually. Numbers are distracting and when the numbers are all over the place and a good race gives bad numbers and a bad race gives good number is a fantastic way to disconnect from the push to improve the results just to get lower points.

Yeah working towards specifically Sunday's race. The last time I raced in Fitchburg it was a gougen course in 2011. And it was brutally cold and I got so cold that I stopped shivering but was able to drive. It did take 45-60 mins of driving in a car that makes a shit ton of heat before i went through shivering and then finally began to get warm again. It was a wide open tough course. And windy and the last race of the year.

This year the race kept the race for the jersey feel, and took the place of one of the favorite race weekends Sterling. No sterling? What? But that's okay, things change and while it was one of the most awesome races and the locale for many great battles in so many races across all the categories. Mud, snow, the Wissell slide, Curley wiping out on the high side of me taking us both out. So many crazy and so many really awesome memories.

But hey Fitchburg, yes not returning since '11 is probably an indicator to how much i love that course/venue, also it is pretty damn far away, for a single day event with a high serious to fun ratio. End of season plus the other factors really seems to draw the serious pointy end of the field. And then there's me. Yes focused, trying to push through and get stronger with Negacoach's help. Is it working? yes but results are sort of kind of could cause some doubt but also, given the holiday, the lack of sleep and everything since Monstah has been the whole kind antithesis of optimal being athlete at the timing around race days so far, well, it is understandable. Or well at least I'm fine with it.

So yeah the race. I forget now anyway.

Just kidding - so out of practice writing about them. Got the workout in on Thanksgiving, Friday, rode to work, the ride in was great, felt good. Ride home after phone meeting with 'Stas? Holyshit my legs were trashed. Like baaaaaad. They felt that work out, but that's what they are supposed to do right?

Saturday was off the bike, running around, watching some youth soccer, taking a crew down for some extra project work, then walking the farm, doing some bike work on the farm bikes, then scouting a location for a summer grass crit and a bridge race at a different venue than Riverpoint in southern New England where the weather may be better and good prep for Hartford next year. Sleep? got some. Dinner? Ate some, but still wound up awake longer than planned, but slept well. Got up early and ate some food, made my breakfast wrap/sandwich thing for the 3 hr time point. Made a pile of coffee, loaded the car and headed to Fitchburg.

Got up there, found a nice spot, got number, got some race intel, headed out for first ride, there was a tire debate in my head. Cliffnotes: I made the wrong choice.

First impression: not a fan of crop circle, too much uninterrupted pedaling sections (yeah yeah shutup) flow was good in many sections, a good balance of CX puke your guts out hard with recover in turns though. Improved? yes. Focus was to try and do it all right today. Fix what I fucked up at Monstah, for results or not, hopefully for results.

Looking at the time difference? Did it work? yes. Did I have a good result? Depends on how you qualify that.

First lap, then kitted up, embro'd, tights, got out for a faster lap. Then got on the trainer and did a warm up. Untimed gut feel myerson style CX warm up. warm up for a while, then go medium hard for a good bit, then rest, then go harder for a little shorter then done. Break sweat, do some work, get warmed up do a few efforts, make it happen. Finished a bit early though. Not too early but earlier than planned. But still wasn't feeling bad, was actually slightly tired. Also so many fast guys. Goal was to hopefully find Tim Young's wheel and race with him. Never saw him. He was gone. Vanished. Start was okay, not great, hit first corner and I got stuffed behind someone else who got stuffed and that set up the next handful of the race. Way too tight IMHO for the first half of a race, too much early selection created groups and strung out the race more than it should have. You basically could only race w/in your group unless you were really in the wrong group one way or the other. Lots of moving back or moving forward but only with great deltas in position to potential. Which is fine, but also frustrating. You'd kill yourself, get through the group and where is the next group? fuuuuuuck that's not good. I felt good leg power wise but we hit the straight stuff and the bike just felt slow, the wind or what, later in retrospect i think the tires. The couple off camber corners were cake money but everything else was torture. For the second time I've picked the wrong tire for the course.

Could I have gone better? maybe if i'd been more agressive at the start, but shying from that because when i have gone too aggressive I wind up blowing up and going backwards, but this course needed that more than others I think. I was still racing people, and that's really all I can ask for. There were guys right in front of me I was chasing all race, I stayed in front of others. I worked my ass off racing, It hurt, I dug deep and it really actually was fun despite the other issued.  Like I said post race, it didn't go quite as well as I had hoped but wasn't as bad as could have been. I had a great time. I raced, I felt the race, I hit my marks and got done what I need to get done, did work, kicked my ass, and took a few steps closer to Nationals.

Recovery ride yesterday aka commute. Hybrid today, indoor workout tonight up at NBX on 4th (212 4th) in PVD. Car up there with trainer - rode down to office to hang out at an advanced microscopy symposium all day. And write this during the heavy math talks and lunch. The equations make my brain hurt.

Focused, moving forward, positive. Kind of weird. There's still so much that I want to say, write and cover but haven't had time to, maybe i'll find time somewhere, some time to make it happen.

heddwch
G

Thanks. thanks giving, thanks

So odd circumstances today. Very odd.

I wind up being alone tonight.

So i made the cranberry sauce for tomorrow.

I made the salad dressing for tonight.

and turned and put Unbroken on the old CRT TV/dvd player combo.

Everyone else is gone till 8. or so.

CRT. Yup. Last person still using one, or at least among the last.

I shed tears at the train station send off. Thanks. Giving thanks. But more than giving thanks and being thankful, what resonated was the giving part of the equation. How few actually give to the point of going beyond? How few give so much to make others happy but rarely never can ask for anything in return?

Is that normal? Or is it just my normal?

it is can be very frustrating at times, when all you want is to have someone give something close to the same level you do routinely.

But then when you're wired to give it all, asking feels so wrong.

plans called to do tempo work, I could have, i got home in time but I didn't, am tired, fall asleep level pass out tired. rest day, tomorrow i kick my ass in the AM on the trainer, at least that's the plan.

Watching this film after having read the book. So strange. Familiar but worse than the Giver even.

Worked today, not much, just a little. core work, but strange this day.

tomorrow different.

Curious exchanges on twitter...

Life. strange. weird. what do we do?  or what do I do?

do not know

words trickled to a stop

watching film, still nothing more powerful, or tear rendering than the train station scene...

Thanks.

I am so thankful for so much, for so many friends, so many people who have touched my life and made it better.

Thank you all...

heddwch
G

race reports far and few between

Time seems to be slipping, slipping

And the future seems to be one where there is little time to write.

Despite still being totally blasted exhausted from this weekend I headed over and lead the indoor ride at NBX on 4th and we did some 3x8 min intervals. A good solid 75 min on the bike. Had to mix it up from last week.

On The Road to Asheville.

Still on it. The Cliff notes to this weekend's pedaling efforts were: run all over the course in big boots all day on Saturday after waking up whikked early, sit down and write women's payout checks so Josh could race, then after the 3/4 race follow Myles around and do course switch over.

"where are the stakes?" way over there. "Okay can you bring them here?" Yup.

"pro-only section is closed, can you bring all that stuff down to the flag pole?" Yup. Not a problem Myles.

the road to ashville... AND SUPERCROSSCUP

Kind of have to use both caps and non-caps, no?

Maybe no.

The road to Ashville. A massive heaping pile of unknowns. But odd confidence that it will work out. Odd in that this confidence is so not the old GeWilli. He'd be stressed the f'out right now despite it being in January and not having reg'd and and and and and.

Yes there are nagging 'what the f'am I gonna do' but they are manageable esp given current focus.

The road started on Saturday at Monstah, but really the next steps were . NBX on 4th we had a bit of a kick ass trainer sesh. The most amazing and wonderful giulia brought her husband and we had two of the most king pin members of the Danger Zone to round it out. Justin and Patrick were ready and willing and we made that hour fly by. It was good. Personally I hit my marks that the vaulted Negacoach pointed out would be good to hit. And we all cruised through a painful but effective (hopefully) workout. IT WAS AWESOME. I think I actually may have written about it already. Ooops. Then what?

Yesterday. Plan called for tempo/threshold work. But I called a Brady audible and got sideline approval to do the VO2 Max workout instead. And I did it. Maybe over did it but holy crap did I kick my own ass.

Felt fine this morning riding in in recovery mode. But once i started to ride home tonight? OUCHYWAHAH. My legs were HOSED. I liked it. But knew given that I'm just recovering from a cold that ouchy legs and lower immue system was a good idea/sign to ride easy/recovery all the way home.

Bike path was deserted. Just me. And a few bunnies.

Oh and a headwind. Worse than last night.

Supercross Cup this weekend. SUPER STOKED. Racing only on Sunday but I'll be there Saturday, can't wait to see what magic Myles has created this year. Also the weather is going to be a bit better than last time I was there.

There's the potential to race both days, but some odd calm acceptance is rolling through my veins, i'm totally cool with just racing one day, it is weird, but good, and weird and makes me happy that it is good even if weird, because that means there's some elevated level of confidence.

Dipping back to the last post. And referencing Anastasia's coaching, at one point she asked me to put the idea that sucking and struggling at Monstah into a positive point of view. I put some words together in the lines of well now i'm motivated to not be lazy, to overcome the negative, or something, I had a much better off the cuff statement that I can't remember right now. But she prodded and poked and questioned in her brilliant way "can you phrase that in a more constructive way?" And I did. But I didn't really believe it until cogitating with sore legs pedaling home.

Confidence.

That's what it gave me. Helped to solidify the foundation i've never really been able to rely on. Self Confidence. Always lacking. Maybe this is the actual turning point. The point 44 years later when I finally realized what the fuck is going on.

Also that switch paragraph?

I expounded with a friend this morning. figured might as well share while I'm writing:

When you're depressed/sad/overwhelmed or tend to be on that end of the spectrum, brooding, overthinking, and someone says, "just flip the switch" it really does make it worse. Esp when they think it works for them, maybe it does but if 'i' could flip the switch and have it do something i would have a long time ago. A few other friends who struggle much more significantly than I do/have/hopefully ever will have expressed similar frustration with people's 'helpful' suggestions. "Yes, I know you're trying to help but you're actually making it much worse, reminding me that I don't have direct control over any of this."
Yes, flipping the switch, making the changes, I struggled with that paragraph a little, mostly trying to figure out how to put those words together in a way that fully explained it, but i feel i got it close enough.
I may have just figured the better metaphor. flip switch, nothing happens. Why not? Is it the bulb? Change the bulb, nope, maybe this bulb is dead too, but this is the only light, how do we test it. Try another bulb? okay that one was brand new. Move on maybe it is the switch? maybe the switch is faulty, maybe the wiring, maybe the fuse is blown, or maybe the power is turned off and there's no electricity anywhere.
so flipping the switch won't do anything unless everything else is working in perfect order. Now some people may have a working switch but maybe their plumbing is all messed up, or they have termites.
i think that's the better way to explain how/why flipping the switch doesn't work.

Okay... now take that and lets roll with it. More of a computer maybe, push the button, why doesn't it work? Why not turn on? The more complex the system the more challenging it is to trace the fault and the more likely the fault is more complicated than one disconnection.

Now plenty of people can just flip the switch, but then maybe they have other issues, plumbing? termites? flooding? who knows. There are a few perfect people out there, but that is an exception not the rule.

So tonight, after over doing my Vo2 Max intervals last night perhaps, or just being tired from doing two workouts in a row? ME? WTF? I bagged it. Tried to take a photo in the dark (check the instagram) and made it home.

Made dinner and am SIGNED UP FOR MOTHERGUKCING SUPERCROSS CUP

SOOOOOO EXCITED

Can't wait.

write up Eco-Cross and Monstah? maybe tomorrow. But I may be using the hour or two I have of mid-day down time to work with my brother. Gotta find some way to make some cash to pay for food while i'm away.  But hey maybe i'll bring keyboarded device and have chance to smash out a few words this weekend.

Also, check out this blog http://wheelsuckerdiaries.blogspot.com/ mutual friend connected Ray to me...  kind of amazing how small the world can suddenly become.

Ok time again it seems to attempt to get some sleep. Life is crazy, and sleep is important (at least for some of us, i'm not lucky enough to be one of the ones i know who can make it w/o sleep, i do pretty well for a while but then, yeah i become mortal soon enough).

So much good stuff going on. Life. It is good. But ya gotta make sure you are paying attention to the right stuff.

heddwch
G

why IS IT SO DAMN CRAZY

Life? Yes must be that.

Life has been keeping me from writing or when I have the time I have no energy or ability to put words together that make sense.

Super biggest bummer is I've had one or two great blog posts/day written in my head but no way to get them written down (racing to commuting to life).

Take evidence that Eco-Cross posted results on Crossresults BEFORE I WROTE ABOUT THE MOST AWESOME CROSS RACE OF THE YEAR!

And the worst cross race of the year for me (x2) was saturday BUT SOMEHOW I MANAGED TO HAVE TERRIBLE RACE, MOMENTS OF MASSIVE NEGATIVE DOUBT BUT COME AWAY FROM RACE SUPER STOKED FOR REST OF SEASON?!?!?!?  WTF?

sometimes phrases click

Two things really today.

First I guess the catalyst for clicking this browser bookmark and writing:

Win or Learn, there is no Lose.

I saw it in many forms today, that's what I kind of distilled it down to, the do or do not there is no try variation.

It is most often put with some inspirational picture as I win or I learn but i never lose. Or I never lose, I either win or learn.

Pick your variation to the theme, what resonates. What works.

Point being, just but stepping to the line you succeed. Starting and even not finishing, well while you may not win, you can learn and improve, but you'll never lose.

One bit of the 'news' i alluded to in another post, was that I've been working with a coach this fall. Not a trainer, a college friend who is taking a course about wellness/life coaching. Three sessions so far. An hour on the phone. The first round of pre-questions filled me up with anxiety and locked me down. They were not easy to answer. But each time on the phone something clicks in a positive way, a puzzle piece falls into place that resonates in a good way. It is odd. But good.

I've been focusing more on positive wording, and it works.  Aka plymouth cx.

I've been learning more. Haven't been winning much, but here and there, bits of luck feel like victories. Aka a win.

Another bit of facebookery as maybe it could be called. A few friends posted a link to http://www.curiousapes.com/the-science-of-happiness-why-complaining-is-literally-killing-you/ while I linked it, I didn't read beyond the headline.

But find lots of truth resonating in the title.

Not racing NoHo is tough. But not bad. This weekend will have a different focus. But Eco-Cross is coming up on Wednesday. Should be good.

Chilling with the kids tonight - watching the worst star wars movie even though it is still Star Wars.

life and stuff...  it isn't so bad...  it is pretty damn good.

heddwch
G

Plymouth weekend wrapped up

It is in the books. Done and cooked.

Got a top ten in a light field on Sunday, Mark G pulled out of his pedals but kept it upright at the start, we'd already more or less reached top speed when he did so it created a bit of a excitment. Half the field (small field only 23 finishers and I think everyone finished) attacked, the other half hit the brakes. Somehow I got behind half the ones hitting their brakes and found myself a few positions out of last. Not much passing was happening, and I passed where I could...  by the time Mark rode back up to me there was no one in front of me. No one that I could reach. Mark caught me and well that means he's faster and he caught a few more. There was one more guy to get but I got him before or around when Mark passed me and that was it. Problem: Once Mark got a bit of a gap on me I was alone. The KIT guys were working together and I know they wanted to get back to me, they were the last couple I rode past in a section somewhere. But there wasn't much going on in front of me.

No racing. Just racing. Different. And usually when I just sort of mentally crack and slide back and then the chasing group gets that mental edge and catches me, and drops me.

It has always been a problem. That losing focus and drive when there's no one in sight. it is easy to motivate when there's someone a few turns ahead, even if they are just right there, and not getting any closer, they can be motivating.

So once Mark rode off, I conciously said to myself "Okay today we're going to keep focused and race and attack the sections we need to attack to keep the gap."

And it worked. I had counted back, I was in 10th, when i could see Tommy F and the rest. It was that spot you pop out from the two track out on to the grass. Could see them all there for a while.  Having lap times were cool.  Day one I could have sworn I had a really really slow lap but it was marginally consistent. Looking at both days right now it is funny. Slow first lap (traffic), fast next two laps, slower next couple. Day two the last one was slow because I knew those guys weren't going to get me and I took it easier on the finishing stretch.

So yeah, Day 2 would have normally been my downfall, but somehow I figured out how to pull it out of my butt and stick close to where I should. I don't think there's anyway I could have ridden up to everyone but if I had wound up on Gary D's wheel maybe I could have finished another place higher. I'm not faster than Gary at the moment and staying with him would have meant blowing up. But then probably still winding up back where I belong, but then maybe if I hadn't had to pass 10 guys on the first lap to get up there maybe I could have eeked out one more place. Maybe. But it doesn't matter, it was a good day, a great ride. But man I was tired, super cooked from the weekend. Legs feel good but rest of body just fatigued.

Slept a lot last night. Borderline too much but hey, almost feel rested right now.

Day 1 was the bigger unknown. New location for Plymouth for me. I missed it last year, and didn't realize that I missed it until Friday night. Oops. Oh and Solobreak decided he wanted a head to head with GeWilli. So he opted for the 45+ instead of the 55+ with Cronoman and the rest of the old dudes.

But I was late, very late, got there with time to ride between the women's race and the elite men's race. Barely got two laps in. Lined up, in the middle, one of the KIT guys hooked bars with me momentarily, the whole left side went right and it got super sketchy and well, I slide back a bit but not too much. we hit the downhill two wide and the orange guy next to me endo'd spectacularlly and that opened up a bit of a gap, then i passed a couple more here and there and wound up on B-Mac's wheel. And we raced and passed guys and and got caught by a very motivated Tucker but most of the race it was B-Mac Gary J and me. In some random order. Gary ate it a few times and put B-Mac and me in front then he'd just motor back. At some point B-Mac gapped me a tiny bit or i faded, then Gary got around me...  just before the last lap I could see the exeter guy gaining on me (Vogel) and I made a hard ass effort to get back on Gary and B-Mac's wheel by running full gass up the run up.  SUPER DUMB - because normally I'd 80% it up and was recovered mid-way through the woodsy section. I was still gassed hitting the ball field grass. Whoops.  BUT Vogel didn't catch me and I had a nice number day.  Race number: 711, finished in 11th (beat the predictor thanks to B-mac day of) first lap 7:11 Bummer that Solo had a bad race but also somewhat surprised he wasn't anywhere near us.

So yeah Vogel got close but not close enough, I got close to Gary but no close enough.

From there, raced home, then headed to Brother's 40th b-day and family TrT then home and sleep. I think there was something funky in that punch because I was a wee bit fuzzier in the morning, but then it could have been partly the insane morning, and the fact that i was wide awake at 4am....  Oh and lots of coffee but no eggs, meant no breakfast sandwich before the race which is my habit and routine. So I ate a big bowl of chili and rice for breakfast. And had a few bites of some of my mac and cheese from friday night's left overs just before the race. Seemed to work or at least wasn't a significant hinderance.

Super low key but day one racing it, felt so much like Plymouth. Awesome downhill, run up, power sections, tight stuff, great flow, just felt like Plymouth. And It was good.

Too bad there was such a light turnout, but hopefully enough turned out to make it work for everyone. Such a great course to race on. So good. And B-Mac gave me a huge compliment over on the faceplace in a comment, means a lot coming from him "That was a fun one. It was good racing with you! You are a smooth rider."

Okay - that's lunch. Except I didn't eat lunch (I ate it earlier - or at least half of it).

Oh and Maple. that NECX mad alchemy embro. People kept saying "Is that Maple? Do you smell that? IT SMELLS SO GOOD!" (direct quote overheard) others said "what is that? it smells good?" random happiness smelly watts shared around. Better than smelling like menthol, aslo while not needed it is fun, it feels good on the drive home with the heated seats. Downside: when you put it on w/o gloves... well it takes a while to get the smell out from under the fingers even when you scrub them and do a sink full of dishes. Also it is a bit wet and shiny and sticky. And slippery, rubbing knee on toptube at the spot where you pick the bike up transfers some slickness to the hoods. Nothing I couldn't handle or worth discontinuing use of so...  until I run out i'll be likely smelling like maple sausage.

No NoHo for me but I'm planning on Eco-cross.

heddwch
G

Hi Guys

holy fucking shit i'm sucking at web logging lately.

priority has been not this anywhere near where it needs to be.

But that's okay. I'm writing now, waiting for garlic to slowly turn golden brown in the butter for the from scratch mac and cheese, yeah yeah pasta, change it up eh? dietary confusion, we're humans and shit. Also okay to have them things in the evening after a day with low insulin spikes.

Also - can't wait. in 20 years the WHO is going to label Insulin as the most carcinogenic compound ever discovered.

Suck it you sugar lovers, it is dumb and makes you fat and sit. But if you're moderately healthy you can indulge a bit in the evening when your body can handle it appropriately.  But first thing? Ugh.

NO THAT WASN'T JUDGEMENT.

I might be an asshole but i care deeply about my friends and only want the best, it is kind of a problem.

Nationals opened up, haven't reg'd yet. Will do that somepoint.

I did plan out the next couple weeks with racing. But what the fuck am I going to do between NBX and Nationals? We need a Christmas/New Year/holy week race series in MD/DC/VA leading up to Ashville. don't we fatmarc?  MAKE IT HAPPEN PEOPLE i need extrinsic motivation.

Nanoscape stuff is moving along, I'm out a few prints since last time I mentioned it, and I've discovered a good way to ship all but a couple of them, $7 priority. so. i need to figure out how to do a web page thing and or maybe just set up a pay pal thing and put it on the facebook page or something. They are not the massive high cost large format prints that are up at Firefly Bicycles, but they aren't bad and are me and are cool and support the GeWilli.

I have a good handle on the next collection, actually, honestly, super excited about it.

The picture factory has been super busy - rotations are transition and the grad students are all clamoring for new training and it is crazy, and there's been a few extra hours spent working with my little brother, and life. So little sitting down and writing.

But oddly it is all working.

Couple notes about racing CX.

Those heckles and stuff. You know, if you've been doing it for a while, there are people who are really good at motivating you and getting you to focus on the right things and there are people who despite intending and wanting to do the opposite totally burst your balloon and luff every sail you've set. Bobby Stine is one of those who always says the right thing that clicks and helps and is additively benificial. Solobreak? Don't tell him but he's good too, and I have to say getting is post race eval of the course before I race is so amazingly brilliant, I hate that now we're backed up into the same time slot.

I'm talking about those points specifically about Fruitlands. Gary and John fucking out did themselves there. If you missed it you're an idiot, or you had better find a goddamngoodexcuse, because that was awesome.

Positive. focused. moving forward.

i'll admit to something soon, probably after tomorrow.

But also Saturday, we do the whole Plymouth thing. Which, let me tell you. Plymouth has HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE emotional ties for me on so many levels. For example 2007: that asshole jersey pro wearing the Sachs kit? Well I finally met that d'bad I'd been racing and trading places with for a year inside the school at the old Plymouth North HS. You know who he is.
Also the only time I shared a ride with Tatar he goes and separates his shoulder trying to hop the single barrier at Plymouth North, I drive him hom. It is also the place where MLFN and I carpooled together and after dropping Mark off my youngest said "He's my favorite Mark." Plymouth has always sort of wound up being the point in my season where i've hit peak fitness before fading, but this year is different (swapping with NoHo).

Plymouth is also the place where my best friend flew in to race that weekend. His wife gave him a 40th b-day present of a airplane ticket and races with me. We hung out, it was f'n awesome. We had a f'n blast.

The next year I was introduced to some sassy sharp MIT girl with Bottom Bracket issues...

point being every year has been crazy significant. Heck if my BB30 bearings had not failed one year I might have had a chance at beating Mottram for the sprint for 3rd or 4th.

it is where we learned from paul curley that cones are just a suggestion.

As much of an antithesis of a location/course/vibe, it kind of almost IS the essence of CX for me.

Strange how much that place is linked to everything.

And it is this weekend.

Not NoHo, kind of the opposite. The place where I've almost killed someone, the place where i discovered that not-drinking and not-eating is bad, calories are calories and not replacing them because you're used to drinking them, the place where I've left my car at the race overnight, the searching for lost keys, it is the one that I want to have Plymouth like vibes but don't. And guess what. They are swapped.

This year. Such a struggle. Would have better to have Cinci CX switch weekends than NoHo. Seriously. But I'm not in charge and that's a good thing.

I'm curious as to what the schedule change brings to the table. I can't make it to NoHo this year. Too far, the obligations that were there but possible to fullfill and make it to Plymouth are impossible to make work for NoHo...  so.. we'll see.

But hey, even my bad races this year have been awesome because I was racing people, and really...  who cares if we are racing for 1st or racing that guy you've never beaten for 50th place.

The essence of competitiong, the motivation to do our best.

My training has not been quite what I had envisioned this year but it also has been more intune with what I can do. It means I'm no where near where I was when I spent a summer riding with Becca, but all given I'm not that far off and hey does anything matter other than Nationals? Yes. the answer is yes other things matter.

BUT - huge relief, i've figured out where I'm going to use 15 of my 20 vacation days over the next three months. AND the spring promises to offer a hugely rewarding replacement to CX so hopefully i can push off the depressed slump.

Things aren't bad, and honestly they are pretty good. Need to leverage Goldberg and Snyder and see about doing a low residency thing, that would be icing on the fucking cake of awesome.

I love what I do and I'm good at it, but sometimes I do wonder...

Life...

it is really fucked up eh?

Plymouth this weekend? really? Time Change? at least I'm local for my little brother's 40th birthday party. I'm actually stoked about the two presents I bought him. I super suck at figuring out presents for people but I think maybe these are pretty awesome.

McMaster-Carr FTW!

Dinner is almost ready, time to switch focus and pull back...

back to what's occupied me for weeks

for the better...

life...

and hugs are the best, have to say best hug this season has been from Andy Huff at PVD. I would love to challenge everyone to beat his hug, because hugs are the best thing besides water filtered through a brewery.

heddwch
g

THE FINAL SMACKDOWN

YEAH EUROPE WORST BAND EVER...

but when I said to myself "this will be the final smackdown of the year" somehow it was said in THE FINAL COUNTDOWN lyrics.

Wed night races transistion into wed night smackdowns pretty easily. Last week was an off week and yes - i've a huge backlog to write about. And that's a good thing. But i'm going to crack open a beer and talk about tonight's ride.

Tonight's ride started at somepoint, i dunno when, but yes, daylight is fading, we're losing the light. But it is also my favorite fucking time of the year to commute...  because of this:

One more shot on the way home. How could i not. #eastbaybikepath #bikecommute

A photo posted by geoff (@ge_willi) on Oct 13, 2015 at 2:50pm PDT

Because every ride home is the most wonderful sunset... or is close. So yes - we are losing daylight, that happens 'round here.

Smackdown happened last week, but not with me. I haven't been out for quite a few iterations. Last couple were attempted on the CXy bikes and that totally didn't go well. Not much fitness, terrible bike position, slow gearing, heavy wheels. Bad combo.

But then I started racing CX. A double at Quad to open it up - sure maybe there were a half dozen Take 5's consumed between the age group race and the SSCX race. And it was hot. And I was wearing a jumpsuit racing the garbage truck. So yeah. Beers + SUPER heavy noodle bike + wearing a parachute = not best race ever. But was still fun. Made Eric L think he's faster than me, so that's worth while.

Then I did a back to back double at Riverpoint, to prep for racing the short handled shovel challenge 4 days later. Then did that and wow that was. well anyway, super fun but crazy nuts. Best race was in the elites after a few Take 5s on the white blue but wearing orange jumpsuit.

TAKE 5 - can't, no take fives here...

After midnight came G-ster 45+ and that was way more awesome being in that catergory than I could have hoped. It was brilliant.  I had shitty start day 1 and chilled until traffic thinned and then went from pretty much last to 47th on the first page, day two, somwhat similar but bottle necks happened way earlier than day one and well - only managed 51st or something...  but still close to last at the start. Passing people.

THEN Night weasels, slow leak from cut sidewall meant i finished the race on the garbage truck after starting last row with Fatmarc's little brother and Timmy Young, passing up to close to 30th place or higher before flatting and giving back 30 places just trying to get to the pits. SO that was fun. Couple days later raced SSCX at providence and holy shit - Friday was the WORST bike racer experience EVER. it always it. Every. F'n Year. I love the course, I love the venue, but some how they manage to f'up the non-elite experience HUGELY every year. But I had a great race after a few first lap mechanicals. Passed people. Raced it. Finished, went to builders ball, didn't sell any prints but they looked good behind the Firefly bikes so there was that.

Worked the race for people. Took the week off. Raced Mansfield hollow, dropped the chain, Spencer passed me, mentally unplugged lost time because no one was behind me. Redemption at MRC. Love that place. And then...

well so...  Last week was rest week going into the weekend. Arguably needed more rest, but we can rest once cross is over, right? But this week early I got thinking "need to do smackdown" but sunset is getting close to 6pm and if we start at 5pm on an hour plus ride that's just cutting it too close. SOOOOOO

THE FINAL SMACKDOWN was born.

In my head.

and well - as lead loud mouth on the Prov Velo club, well LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN. Got Edgar C to showup, David E too, Andrew, the Fox, Kyle, Colby and at first some kid who let a gap open and then I had to bridge and never saw him again.

Was a good solid crew. No Chris Bailey or Eian. Thankfully or maybe not...

But there's no way i'm doing this ride/race on a CX bike in CX position NO SIR. And the Quantum Pro stil has wheels on it so...  why not! But this morning I was thinking about every advantage I could cash in on so I dug out the wheel covers. And, yes, since the rear wheel already weighed a ton, why not make it Aero as well. Disc cover. F'Yeah.

Man the bike fits differently than the others. Rode in. Good day. Chill ride in. But no sleep last night, okay some but NO WHERE NEAR ENOUGH. So tired. But here I am writing at this hour of the night. Go figure.

So couple things. I elected to wear the new lid that Freddie B forced me to buy. It is hunter blaze orange, and yeah, it has some swagger factor for me. I wore my HotSauce Racing cap that Mark McC gave me at PVD. And the orange PVDVC kit, with my orange socks. But before leaving I grabbed that new container of NECX embro. Because Why the FUCK wouldn't a race pace road ride qualify as Embro worth, also sheen and heat and stuff.

Headed out, rolling past the boat house on a warm up lap with Kyle and we rode through a swarm of mother fucking gnats. And well guess what, the sheen is strong but it also is a great fly trap for dozens of tiny black flies that hung out for the rest of the ride... Le sigh.

Headed out. Edgar pushed the pace. I took over, peeled off on Woodward and once again wound up behind the green one who let a MONSTER gap open after a turn and well, I dragged Colby back with me. Happens so many times but every time i give the ride the benefit of the doubt, maybe they won't suck as much as they look like they will. Yeah nope. It has happened though so I will probably keep doing it because the alternative is being a dick and I try to avoid doing it intentionally. Accidentally? I do it way too often for my own comfort.

So crushing it. Bike feeling not bad. Unfortunately my rotation comes up as we turn up Pine. 80%, no more. fuck those guys, they wanna go faster - GO FASTER. Took em a while, actually took me flicking the elbow. Way too long setting pace on Pine = BLOWN for final sprint. #SADTROMBONE But caught up and then rolled into second wheel.

And had an epiphany.

Second wheel is THE MOTHERFUCKING BEST PLACE to recover. Why? SOOOOO FUCKING SMOOTH. But saddly it means you're in the wind sooner. Which was fine because I felt recovered enough to drill it at 80% again, until flicking and letting the pack roll past. Rocky hill, felt not bad, so I held back, didn't content hoping to have something for hillside.

Forgetting that we have a hungry Andrew, Fox, and Edgar (all about the same size and because at least the first two were:: pro level VOMax) still hanging out, And well. Hillside kind of sucked but then we CRUSHED it on the next segment and did a good job beating the one I wanted to get ahead of on Strava, granted now I'm 8th behind all the guys who I lead out for half the segment.

But then motor and chill. Such a great ride.

Followed up with a tailwind home.

Made some chili, had a beer, time to sleep and reflect a bit.

Things have been good. No not good. Mostly awesome. I do need to sell a few more prints to pay for the run I had done, and deliver the three that were requested. So. Maybe I'll have time to put that togehter but looking at $30 for a ~12x19 or so signed print. It won't cover costs until they are all sold but there aren't that many and maybe there are enough people who like black and white art work who might help cover costs of doing this crazy thing called art. But hey, if art was easy we'd all have Etsy accounts, wait maybe I should (no probably not). anwyay.

Felt good on the bike. Couldn't stay with the young kids who are 50+ pounds lighter than me on the hills, but i'm okay with that. I came close to dropping everyone on Homestead riding at ~80% so I feel good about that. Confidence boosted.

This next weekend is up in the air, we'll see. Othe than NOT being at NoHo/CSI this year I don't have a clue what the rest of the season looks like other than racing NBX.

better figure that out i suppose.

anyway. maybe time for another beer to wind down from writing. Or maybe not. It is late. Gotta act at least a little like an athlete.

heddewch
G

Sunday morning in bed

With coffee, laptop...  internet.

Kind of feel pulled to go over to the Race right now. Balancing that with having to be here in time to get Kid who isn't driving yet where she needs to be. I had my timing slightly off though, her schedule is a wee bit later than anticipated. Whoops.

Should be good though. I hope.

I chose not to race this weekend, I did get some Roger Williams Park racing in though, on the SSCX course. And after double at Quad, double at Riverpoint, Triple at Midnight Ride, Gloucester both days, then Night weasels, racing the SSCX here in PVD finally cooked me.

Also cooked me was trying to get some images together for the Builder's Ball. But well that didn't go over so well. Not so good at selling the stuff. But hey, it isn't exactly the perfect place for it to happen. People are there to drink beer and drool over bikes. And it was fun to see everyone and catch up. Chapman and Zanc and the firefly guys...  anyone else? I dunno were there other people there? Yeah there were amazing people there. It was a good time but also after racing SSCX then heading there standing around, getting home late, not falling asleep till after midnight. Yeah was late and no racing was totally right call.

Holy Fortnight is over, the season has started and time to lay out the plans for the rest and see what happens.

I was at the venue yesterday, setting up the tent, bringing wheels for Mark McC of Hot Sauce Racing, working for Jessica Cutler, and the Red Truck guys. Plenty of pre-race work to do, Jess's shoes, tire pressure, bike tweaking, lubing wiping down, Raphael's brakes, all the stuff. Then having a quiet and uneventful time in the Women's race watching Jess move through people, Watching Becca work through even more people (when she figures out the starts? watch the fuck out everyone). Then the Men's race happened, I gathered Mark and Mike's stuff, headed to the pits and started the shortest commute ever. Back and forth. Side to side. For a bit there was a nice gap, Mike way up front, Raphael in the middle and Mark McC trying to ride after puking in the AM and not eating anything all day. Then Raph had a flat, super smooth exchange (no helper to catch) and he started mowing people down. Pretty soon they were coming in together, but fortunately no other exchanges happened and we finished up w/o problem. Got them back and then took the tent stuff down packed up the tools and trudged back to the car.

Now to head over and do it all over again.

So while not racing there's plenty of CXy love happening. It was fun to see everyone, hang out, steal a beer or two from the Hup tent cooler (located conveniently between Jess's warm up location at the Jamis tent and the tent i brought for the Red Truck guys). Hugs from Shoogs, he's a good hugger btw.

And yes, Hugs are good. Important.

NECX is a big hug party waiting all year to break out in the fall and carry through until the dark of winter creeps in and we refocus, and prepare for the next season.

Getting older is odd too. I've been around the sport of cycling for a long time. A fan for longer, a wrench the longest, but always just riding a bike. Growing up it wasn't trying to go fast, it was a way to get around, freedom, and it was fun to ride. Fun to wrench.

I was talking with Mark McC after the race last night, as night was falling and everyone was packing up and leaving. CX is special. NECX is different, and I know Chip just wrote a big old post on NECX, I don't need to, but it is sort of yeah, like family. Sometimes there's some tension but there's so many ties, so much love, that over time it eases and eventually releases the tension and we all grow and whatnot. I'd say mature but that's fucking never going to happen. More like a good vintage wine. Life eh? But talking with Mark the voice of Pure Sweet Hell comment about knowing intrinsicly (i wish I had purchased that damn DVD while i was in print but that's okay i have it on some digital media stick thing) but that. You just know. Once you do it you just have to do it.

They say Maloney started it, and the cali guys too. But Ron Manizza, Tom Stevens, Paul Curley, The Sykes. Those guys laid the foundation all of North American Cyclocross stands on. And they are still an integral part of NECX. They are the guys that put a punk kid named Myerson on a CX bike. They are the ones that got the McCormack brothers racing cross. I won't go on too much more, I promise.

Just wanted to unload a few words. Wanted to say that i've had a few emotional speed bumps this week but due to this bike racing thing, this family, the hugs, it has been so good, so positive.

heddwch
G

SWAGGAH BACK

Too much freaking stuff to do, esp with taking day off tomorrow, But how about that for song title, for the song that got it to click this weekend.

Not that the song made it click, but it clicked for me. Cascade of little things I guess. Kind of like going the other direction which I am unfortunately much more familiar with.



So yeah...  Swaggah back...  Started the drive up with metallica black album, switched over to Wugazi and TURNED IT ALL THE F'N WAY UP!

Of course it was the song titled "Slow Like That" that clicked and not until the end. (time stamp 3:41 or so)

I wasn't sure it was back on Saturday actually, it was close, and it was fun and awesome, and I need to sit down and write more. Probably tomorrow over coffee.

New helmet make the difference? Maybe. Hanging out with friends? Maybe, being at Gloucester? Maybe. Everything really. Getting the food timing down, just everything kind of clicked. And it just FELT RIGHT racing in the 45+ mostly because this is the group that I first really started racing with in New England. Either they started in the 3/4 35+ with me that first or second year and were there when I went to the 1/2/3. It was pretty awesome. A good age division. And in a way makes Providence Bittersweet. It would have been so awesome if Richard Fries had decide to stick with a 45+ race instead of doing a 35+ and then 50+. I'd probably have signed up to race despite the cost. But cost plus no category? Not a chance to race the weekend.  But it also means I was able to race Midnight Ride for less than the cost of Saturday race, and race tomorrow night at Night Weasels, and still have money left over for a case of "Swill beer" to put in Jerry and Kurt's pockets.

I'll recap more of the racing later - but yeah, first page day one? AWESOME, esp given 80th place start and maybe 5-10 people behind me at the first turn? 47th was good. It was great. A better start position, fewer bottle necks and probably a handful of places further up. Similar story on Sunday, 74th place start, but slower and more bottle necks very close to the start put the top half (first page) more or less out of reach for me. Even f I had a Mark Legg Compton I don't think it would have been enough to work through it all on that particular course. We were super slow and stacked up and there was more than a minute by guesstimations before the pits. Didn't matter. Was racing. Was awesome.

Took me a bit of lunch and emailing and work to get through the Wugazi album to find the song with that particular lyric. But it worked. Dealing with CL and the selling of the car is killing the mojo, knocking the swagger down but I've figured out a plan, and fuck those low ball underbidders. that said I should just take any cash offer at this point to make it go away, but there's actually a fair bit of interest, so I think it is probably at the right point and just a matter of time before I can say good bye to the rusty race wagon.

Now to get some digital files together, head up to see my print guy, and do a run of small prints for the builders ball. Probably find them at the Firefly booth... More details as it is finalized.

Flood watch for Night Weasels. Yeah. 1"/hour? DAMN gonna be NUTS. Bike choice will be kind of key eh? Need to do some tweaking and configuring before heading north tomorrow.

heddwch
G

oooh I got on dirtwire

Interviewed by the ThomP about doing the Short Handled Shovel Challenge... I think i'm still too tired to say it w/o tripping over my own words.

http://dirtwire.tv/2015/09/midnight-ride-gewilli-ill-sign-up-it-sounds-like-a-good-idea-but-a-really-bad-idea/
(i haven't figured out how to embed it... )

GeWilli once again attempts feats of stupidity on the bike.

midnight ride… where to start.

Part of the added stress was the days off already taken so i could race yesterday and next week. The car just keeps making it worse, sitting waiting on inspection at the moment. Screen dimmed so I can hopefully get this written before the battery dies. With the summer of no vacation I have an abundance of days off, and figured using a few of them to race the mid-week night races during Holy Week would be a good thing to do. I’ve never made it up and fortunately the kid’s schedules, while not easy, are possible with one parent. So I blocked off my day at work, watched reg and then thought, you know, why not try out that knucklehead competition? I guess doing Quad double and not being TOTALLY dead was a bad sign. Because the Short Handle Shovel Challenge seemed like a good idea. And no one else had signed up for it that I could tell, so hey why not. I raced the back to back at Riverpoint, First on gears then on Singlespeed. Felt not easy but it worked. Kept it pretty light intensity to try and relax until last night. Keeping the intensity light was easy I spent the week driving around everywhere. Too much stuff going on I guess.

So yeah two races at quad (one day) then two races back to back at Riverpoint and well less than a week later I signed up to race 3 races in one night? Races that if done right leave you totally spent?

Yeah sounds pretty dumb. But hey, Abel did it right? might as well give it a shot. Then all the fast guys signed up. But of course I was committed and well gotta do it.

Put a 16t on the garbage truck. It has been years since i’ve race there, but it is mostly flat, and in the words of the promoter the longest hole shot in NECX. So lets be SUPER STUPID and put a leg crushing gear on there to start the night. 46-16 is too tall BTW. 46-17 might have been perfect but i left all those cogs at the bike shop because I am an idiot.

Tuesday was rough. One of those days where the cloud is there, the wave is crashing, or the earthquake is happening. You can’t escape, you know it is coming. But you have no idea if it is the big one or just a little one till it is past. The little changes here and there seem to be helping, by the time I fell asleep tuesday night I was in a much better head space and woke up feeling good, but very tired. Got everyone out the door and then got back in bed and dozed a bit to try and find some forces for the night racing, but not after eating a big pile of pancakes. Yeah, sugar. Hey I know. But it is a race day and I knew I had to have every last bit of stored energy to make it through the night. Woke up made more coffee, two eggs covered in a bit of gruyere and gorgonzola, sauteed spinach and some ham. Did dishes, and hung out with the dogs and just relaxed and sort of ignored the mounting insanity at work, even made some Hummus. And plans to get there by 2pm woops it is 1:30pm already. I got the car loaded, everything packed up (only forgot my cliff recovery drink mix) loaded the three bikes in the back of the swedish sled. And of course I needed good pre-race tunes so I added all the metallica in my google music to the phone so I could avoid data usage (and commercials) on the drive up.

Got there in just over an hour. Velocb was already set up, deathstar parked next to Eric L’s yellow tent. Saw Marky B and caught up a bit, got all three of my numbers. Grabbed The Garbage Truck and headed out for a lap before the start of the 3/4/5 race, it was dusty, loose in a few spots, but I was also following Grigs who wasn’t taking it easy so it was a good set up, I found out then where my stupid tall gear was going to be a hinderance and an advantage. Bottom line: more hinderance overall then advantage. I never felt like I had too light of a gear. And that’s bad for SSCX. You need to feel overgeared in as many spots as you feel undergeared, aka I fucked up, but it was fun and I am sitting here writing w/o any big issues.

Plan was to race in Orange Jumpsuit on Garbage Truck in the SSCX race, in the skinsuit in the 2/3/4 race and initially race the P/1/2/3 in the skinsuit. I had time to unpin and repin if needed. Put the 2/3/4 number on the skinsuit, put the SSCX number on the Jumpsuit and had a bit more water and got ready to roll out. Second row in the grid.

On the left side. There’s a bottle neck on the right, very minor and not as big of an issue in the SSCX race but it was scary in the 2/3/4 race.

Before the race I dropped off the megaphone with Syd the Kid, which just turned into Elliot stealing it and being loud and obnoxious, aka appropriate use. Catching up with folks seeing everyone. All good. all amazing. Russ was there, ThommyP everyone. It was great.

Black blue went into the pit ziptied in at the 44-17 slot with a waterbottle. My tall good looking friend Sandy did the switch between races for me, made it geared but clipping the zip tie off for me. So dusty. Anyway.

Raced felt good, not great but made up for lost ground in the long flats, lost it again in the ‘hillside’ got worked over by the Chainline guys, hung on to Grigs for a while, and most importantly held off Chip. But it was a race, non-stop all out and it hurt like hell.

And I was supposed to do this again??? ooooouch.

Grabbed a sample of Maple water, both in the cup and the paperbottle thing whatever those are called (can’t remember the name right now). Downed those. Downed some water, ate a half a sleeve of margarita cliff blocks, had some more water. took off skinsuit, grabbed ice and rubbed down face and cooled off, stuffed the garbage truck in the back of the sled and put a bottle on the White Blue (with bottle it was still lighter than the Garbage truck). Headed over rolled around a bit, and pretty soon we were getting all stuffed into the grid. Joel Brown wound up next to me, lots of familiar faces but way more that I’ve never seen. And 100+? I’m in 80th? HOLYFUCK.  I’ll be honest that first lap TOTALLY took me out of racing brain. I knew the lines, i know how to rail each corner fast, i just don’t have the fitness to hang, but i also don’t have the fitness to ride like a fuckwad, but lots of people in that race do I gues. So I kind of just after the nastyness of the wood chips said fuck it, i’m going into the JP Partland mode of just finish. And that led me to being close enough that lapping was a possibility. One of the guys behind was there and said - lets go, not going to get lapped. And suddenly I was feeling it again. The last two laps just were FUN and fast and I dropped the guys I was with by a long shot and nearly bridged to the next group. I was flying and it was fun.

I know the lines it was good and man, felt like racing. Even though I was nearly the back of a 2/3/4 race. Woops. Hey CX points - i don’t care. Really, finally (and man did i get some amazingly bad points that race).

Finished. Grabbed just a small cup of the maple water that tasted more like the cup than the maple water. Grabbed a take 5 to wash the dust out, ate some more cliff blocks, had a handful of cheezits, another beer, and that was it. I’m pinning the number on the Jumpsuit.

Yeah. Pro race in the Jumpsuit. I’m so totally getting lapped. Figured might as well be visible.

Was nearly last after the start but it was so much smoother and i had no problem making all the turns with everyone at that speed. For a couple laps even. The gaps were growing but I was actually racing. And kept racing. Gary got away from me, despite promoter legs. And the run after the barriers on the hill kept getting slower and slower. And I took a few sips of the take 5 in the waterbottle on the bike in the straight stretches and Suddenly the leaders were in the same section of the course and I had 2 to go, I had 90% of the course to go to hold them off to stay on the lead lap and HOLY SHIT BALLZ I HAVE A CHANCE TO STAY ON THE LEAD LAP? GODDAMNRIGHTIAMGOINGTOGOFORIT.

And I applied every last bit of the last 2.5 races of lines and speed knowledge. I drilled it on the straights, NAILED the turns, only minorly fucked up the woodchips, DRILLED IT and they were in the woodchips and I’m just hitting the barriers and they are FLYING FCUUUUUUCCKCKKCKCKKC! I hit the barriers and I dig Deep and SPRINT MY ASS OFF (enough that the crowd commented) I remounted and FLEW damn I HAVE A CHANCE!

Yeah kind of dumb being this excited but I’m racing in the Jumpsuit, 3rd race of the night, and there’s a couple Pro’s who MIGHT NOT LAP ME.

I get to the pavement and they aren’t there yet, click down sprint click down dig deeper click down keep digging, I HEAR A BELL HOLY FUCK

With about 5 seconds to spare I start the last lap. Not lapped. The smart person would have sat up, gotten lapped and been happy not doing another lap. But hey, not me. But I did think “COOL DOWN LAP” And I more or less did do a cool down lap. Def had very little left after the effort to stay on the lead lap. I’m sure John L had something to do with making that race a bit shorter. It was very nice of him.

Made it home, had a beer, went to sleep, and coughed up crap all night.

And now I have to recover enough to race ONE race a day at G-ster.

We’ll see how that goes.

But at least the car is finished, tagged titled inspected and insured. Now just need to sell that old rusty race wagon.

And figure out how to schedule a two week backlog of trainings. But you know i’ll be at Night Weasels. This was fun. So. Much. FUN!

heddwch
G

and that creeping feeling

the shadow is back...  triggered by frustrations dealing with repeated and challenging to resolve issues. Not so much that they aren't resolvable, or that they are significant, but it is constant grinding down.

Just worn down and down and down and today I can feel it, can't push it back myself. I know making it through until tomorrow afternoon will find me most likely bouncing back. But I also know myself well enough that it wouldn't take much to push over the edge even at a CX race.

So much effort to do what is right to get things in order, how close to the edge? I almost broke down in tears just outlining what i've gone through in the last 8 days to one of the grad students who asked what's up and said you look a bit run down.

I had a much more positive web log post ready to spew out. Started forming the post this morning but no time to get it down[sic], and then poof. Spiral. It is gone.

The outline was going to be about the three race challenge and how it went from just a few people signed up for it to a bunch of people and now it is a competition but also enough guys who are way faster than me (at least in one race scenarios) are signed up leaving me with no pressure and that's a great feeling actually. No pressure means that if i can't survive that last race and can't stay out of Myerson and company's way? I can just roll around super slowly until the race is over, how many laps down is it possible to still finish ;) who knows what tomorrow brings. Maybe this afternoon will resolve the issues and it will be great and wonderful. But I still have to get the car inspected and deal with everything else i've been putting off while it has been occupying it all.

Yes.

This is the same bullshit everyone has to deal with on a daily basis, and most people do a much better job at it than I probably am conveying. But it is my bullshit. And yes discussing it and documenting it can contribute to it. But I'm not talking the specifics, and that maybe is the difference. I'm focusing on my reaction not the cause. The cause if i discuss it just amplifies the negativity and frustration, the response is the response.

Like negativity, here's my response to it, whatever it is, it sucks. Don't be negative. So trying to be positive I'm doing everything i can to catch up. two seconds sitting down here to write. To have a sip of a beer, to catch up on twitter. Back to doing stuff, just, constantly, doing, stuff, that, only, I, can, do. Home, Job. I've created this. It is me. But being me is exhausting. I don't like me. I say things I shouldn't, but don't realize I shouldn't until after I say things. I think things I should say, but don't say them and set horrible consequences in action for myself. Can't win for speaking can't win for shutting up. Probably some middle ground that maybe I can spend the next 10 years looking for.

Chapters of life.

Starting this chapter seems logical, giving it is the start of 10th year in RI. Close the book on the past ones, move on and write a new one.

Talking with my college friend last week, relating out stories and feeling like we're just living this story that someone is writing. Plot twists that are unexpected, create this amazing riveting page turning tension, and always just two steps behind the winners, the perpetual underdog with just enough hope to motivate but from the readers point of view a totally futile situation no matter what the lead character does.

So yeah. Totally futile, wallowing in the indescribable, watching others succeed, happily because they deserve to succeed. Yes my 'success' may be measured with a different metric, but then talking about measuring metrics I think about how I ride and attempt to train w/o metrics. In a world of redundant powertaps and stand along GPS devices that record heart rate and everything else, attempting to do anything w/o metrics seems insane. I don't even have a watch (or a phone mount to use an app i could download athough my current phone is pretty fucked with lack of space inability to connect via USB and ancient OS that VZW has given up supporting) to do intervals with.

Big dude. big gears. small dude. small gears.

most of the time the small guy wins because turning.

But talking about winning means automatically talking about losing. Boasting about how you've won is great if no one you've competed against is in earshot or notices.

Yeah. GeWilli's battery is at "CONNECT YOUR CHARGER NOW" dangerously low battery levels.

Not enough reserves.

Depleted. Yet who's the dumbass who plunked down money he didn't have to support a race he believes in just to enter the knuckle head competition. Super smart after the last 8 days, and even smarter looking ahead to the next two weeks. So [not] smart. But then if i did anything smart or self serving i wouldn't be GeWilli... now would i. I'd be boring and have nothing to write about because hey, life is wonderful and stuff.

The Garbage truck is ready to go. Now I go hop in the car and retrieve one kid from dance and pick up where I left off in the dinner making when I return. Yes. Dinner is late around this place.

Life.

It is what it is.

heddwch
G

working my butt off to make it all work

Today was accomplish everything. Wanted to just keep sleeping, nope, gotta shuttle/ferry/transport. race home more transport. work the rest of the day. get home. cook dinner.

Finally decompress for a second, read what I wrote last night...

contemplate on it a bit more.

Off the cuff, like everything I write, it is spot on and I can't dissagree with it all. Maybe take away some emotion, put a filter or two back in place and it might have a different tone or might be missing a few sentences.

Only comment about that is one reacts they way they are treated and you think someone isn't reacting appropriately then well, it isn't their fault. Keep that in mind. They are reacting to you. You may not know have or any of the story behind why what you did triggered that response, but blaming them for your ignorance of the situation or potential reaction isn't going to help. Best to confront, acknowledge and file it away and not do it again.

Kind of standard life practice.

It is how I've been running core facilities for way many years. If you fuck something up, tell me, and tell me exactly what you did leading up to it, makes it easier to fix, helps me figure out how to keep it from happening again, maybe by changing trainings or signage or something. Break something the same way twice? Out. Cut off. No more using scopes. I'm happy to say i've never had to cut anyone off ever. Yes, I'm just rambling.

I pedaled today. Rode home from the bike shop. Tail wind. Was still slow. Tired. But even after all the running yesterday not sore. I was still thirsty and drank a good number of waterbottles, I think I did wind up sweating a lot yesteday between the racing and then the couple hours in the sun cleaning out the rusty race wagon.

Hey anyone want a TDI engine/motor with transmission for a project car? Body is a bit rusty but i've fixed and replaced most everything bolted to the motor. It is in good shape, honestly. We'll see hoping to get it sold soon. Hoping to finalize the rest of the reason why i have to sell it sooner than later.

Also debating attempting a pre-sale of nanoscape prints. But I've sucked every last productive minute (right now my brain is too fried to do much more than tell my fingers to get this shit out of my head and written down here) dealing with the swedish sled, legal priorities take precedence.

I'm definitely still wondering about the wisdom of signing up for the short handled shovel challenge. esp going into G'ster weekend. But my barely more sane brain says it won't matter and the fun will be worth every ounce of pain and stupidity.

Oh and one thing i've noticed. Spending less time talking about what's wrong and what's bugging you, is good. Removes that outlet to focus on the negative. Diminshes it. Kind of like at the end of 'The Son' actually very much like that. Keep the negativity starving, don't feed it. Unfortunately unlike the book it is beyond challenging to completely starve it to omission, might have been at one point, path chosen differently, but then I wouldn't be here. And here isn't so bad. Pretty damn good.

My evening decompression, writing, may be a bad habit, but it is better than many alternatives. But sitting and writing is also not doing anything, and there's so much to DO. Can't stop, haven't stopped, and as long as I can't afford Disc brakes i probably won't stop.

I'm liking the Garbage truck, it sucks but isn't terrible, it is heavy but isn't what is slowing me down, it isn't a pure SS bike neither is it a good CX bike, but it is the perfect SSCX bike in my mind. Not to take away from everyones wonderful fancy dedicated bikes...  but it oddly makes me happy. Also: I think i ran too many PSI or have too much stans in the tubes/tubulars. I didn't add any air between Quad and Riverpoint to either the white blue or the garbage truck. Hahaha... oops. Kind of should get a digital pressure gauge...  Someday. Gotta get new wash brushes first.

But the working my butt off just to make it work balance will have to tip into the 'yeah you can spend a couple bucks on that" before those happen.

Monday'll be here soon enough. City Tax office, Dentist then DMV. I've got myself the perfect day lined up! CAN'T WAIT!

heddwch
G

the stupid runs deep

fitting in every way no?

for me.

Okay what is GeWilli talking about now?

He's talking about having spent $50 (not including bike reg fees because colin and crew have to eat i guess) to do three races on Wednesday.

Yeah. Figure I'll channel my inner Abel. Since he can't be here this year and is stuck in Tacoma *shudder* well, someone's gotta be the slow guy trying to complete the challenge: https://www.bikereg.com/the-midnight-ride-of-cyclocross

click around you'll figure it out.

Today was Dude Smash here in RI. A race that's 20-60 min from my house depending on traffic (20 today, 60 to try and get there in the car for 5:30 w/traffic). The other option was to drive to White Park. From my house it is over 100 miles each way. Also. Dude Smash was free. And, in thinking about Wed night, the A race and the B race were back to back.

Finish first one on the fancy geared CX bike on a course where you need both the big and little rings and then grab The Garbage Truck and do the second race on that.

4 laps each race. I think actually SSCX was faster, but then on that course even being gassed 46x19 was probably pushing me more than having gears and well...  it was what it was.

First lap with the layout for today and I was like: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS WHAT CYCLOCROSS USED TO BE BEFORE PEOPLE DUMBED IT WAY THE FUCK DOWN!

It is brutally hard on a CX bike. A MTB is better/faster. And there's running, and climbing and stuff. There's no rest and there's people doing faceplants from inexperience because courses have been set to a low denominator.

Sleep in, feverishly make a couple breakfast sandwiches and coffee and load up the silver swedish sled and head over to the park. Awake to ready to race in under 2 hours. 90 min actually.

I was worried, it was a free race. No charge. Sign the waiver, line up and race.

I got three pre-ride laps in. I tried putting phone in ifitness holder thing in skinsuit and that didn't work. Did a lap and ditched it. some day i'll have metrics for races beyond PRE. Maybe. Probably not.

A race up first, B race next. 10am start, then 11am start. Back to back. Honestly no clue how long the races were planned to go.

Given the bit of changes and why the changes were needed and the whole personal convoluted story behind it...  a story i could actually relate to better than I wish I could... well it was understandable. Also, given that I'm spending money i don't have hand over fist to try and replace the rusty race wagon, a close, free, race was so much appreciated. I was worred. Could I stay motivated for a free race? tl:dr answer: yes. I was able to.

Bobby Stine and co created a baller course. So, f'n hard. Yes White park is legit CX, and it cool, and pretty amazing. This place though? I dunno, roots at White Park were tire destroying and painful, the death cutes here at Riverpoint are scary as fuck but make you focus on skills and bike handling. Give and take. Too bad they were head to head. Not that I have the means to drive all the way to concord and pay for racing at the moment. Still debating racing PVD. $40 for SSCX? Really? ouch.

Anyway back to the course, after the first pre-ride i was SUPER STOKED this reminded me of the courses I got hooked on racing CX. Yeah I sucked at them but they were fun, challenging and addictive.

That said it was hot, it was dusty, and ouch. First race I had a great first lap, hung on to the fastest of the fast there...  then recognized, hey dude you can't keep this up, and settled in. Still pushing as hard as I could but slowly losing ground to Amos every lap. But you know what? I'm okay with that. Amos is fast. I can only dream of being fast and you know what? I'm good with that. I do what I can do, I go as fast as I can go.

Will it be enough for Wed? We'll see

The heat got to me today. The heat and the running. SO MUCH RUNNING and so many dismounts racing on The Garbage Truck. 46x19 was way better than 44x17 there but I still had to run more than I did on the geared bike. Also tires are better on the white blue than the garbage truck (tubular vs clincher). But white blue rear is not long for the world. Maybe one more race? we'll see.

So racing back to back, in the heat and the dust, geared then super heavy SSCX. Ouch.

but way better than last year.

Mentally better than any year before.

coming to terms with it all.

but still - racing here vs up there kind of opened old wounds, and it hurt. But hey, people can't give a shit about me, they gotta do what's right for them and if I'm the one shit on? well, hey, at least I'm used to it. PTSD fades with time. Even the triggers soften with the years.

I'm super happy I was able to race BOTH races, actually race them. It was mostly survival, and i faded once per race, but It felt good being able to race both. Compared to last year when I started to race then finished just riding around feeling horrible and wishing things could go back to the way the were the year before, hey compared to that? it was pretty awesome.

I'm not fast. The Garbage truck is HEAVY and SLOW and omg my arms hurt more than anything else, but yes, my legs are shredded too.

Welcome back to GeWilli world. Good? yes. still bad? yes. Looking forward to the next two weeks? Yes.

NOT LOOKING FORWARD to the PVDCX rates. Wow. But maybe this year is the year people just say "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH NO MORE OVERPRICED RACES WITH SHITTY RACER EXPERIENCES" I will admit to wanting to have a race at Riverpoint Park the same days as PVD just to say hey, have fun, race CX for free. You don't need to be exploited.

but that's not terribly popular and i'm sure everything is well justified. But doing a SSCX race that costs $40 seems kind of sucky and wrong. I still might do it, but, man i'm going to be pissed about it. Def NOT racing the weekend. That's a no brainer. Soooooo many things that the money could be better spent on. And yes, i'm local, i could volunteer. work 8 hrs and get one race entry paid back (after and probably w/o Bikereg fees)? Yeah. No. I can work 8 hrs other places not at my job and make way more $$. But hey. They have the race, they set the rules, I'll support as i can, but supporting won't mean racing.

grumpy, obvs

but today's racing was incredible.

a reminder that CX is about racing, pushing yourself against others.

it is awesome, and feels right

Mikey F was correct. Duh.

Wed is going to be interesting
heddwch
G

The FrankenBike aka Garbage Truck

IS ALIVE!

45 min this morning maddly digging through parts drawers here at GeWilli central, uncovered enough shit to make a frameset with a crankset raceable tomorrow.

And holy shit that was fun. Sure I could have been building bikes and making money but Sometimes you just have to have fun.

Building this beast was cool. Deano stopped by, chatted with him, Don and Paul were both at the same incredulous and kind of respectful at the same time.

Why? WHY DO IT?

The Frankenbike is alive, aka garbage truck #SSCX #NECX

A photo posted by geoff (@ge_willi) on Sep 12, 2015 at 10:43am PDT

Why not? I mean I had all the stuff just laying around. I did spend an extra 20 min looking for the matching Dura Ace aero brake lever, never found it. So settled for the pair of Ultegra 600 levers with the white hoods.

Yes, i used dirty planet bike red tape on the bars. I used the rear brakes i bought for this bike when I ordered it in '98. They suck and required modficaction to make work with the wider clincher rim.  But with the travel agent... they actually fucking work. It is like i knew what i was doing... WTF?

Front brake was cobbled together. Drive train?

I found an 8sp new hyperglide shimano chain in the drawer. Still has original packing wax on it.

Front ring is 46 tooth left over on the Dura ace 7401 180mm crank. Put a 19t cog on the SS wheel that I was given out of the dumpster. And took the alloy sealed bearing pullies off an OG Deore XT (pre XTR) rear der, and spaced out a 9sp D/A rear dear so the 8sp chain would roll through using those alloy pullies and tension the chain.

Had to swap in a new lower limit screw to get enough travel to lock it in place. But I cannot shift and I have one gear and well...  fuck the haters. This shit is legit.

So i built the bike. Tweeted about it. Then came home and rode it.

I've talked about how much this bike rides like a garbage truck. How bad it handles. But I have to say. It was a fucking blast tonight. Maybe it was the tires, the bars, the hoods, the fact that i had more fun building it and digging the parts out than I should have.

This is CX.

This garbage truck.

It is an abomination. Driving home I kind of though I should race for slips. Anyone who finishes behind this stupid bike with fancy tubies and disc brakes automatically forfeits it. But that's lame and bullshit and so bro brah d'bag racing culture that it bugs me but still, while blatently wrong there's some kind of something to racing junk and being the best.  Not that I have any hope of beating anyone in the SSCX race. And I don't care. I'll race SSCX just to fuck with my crossresults points. Because Fuck those points. They are accurate as fuck and absolutely brilliant. But also, i'm never going to win so staring 10th row or 2nd row? Whatever. Out of the money don't matter.

This bike kind of was the turning point maybe.

Myette is totally to credit... first... then Spencer and little guy Matt on the pod cast...  and finally that shower.

No narrow wide on this thing. Nothing special. Sort of the antithesis of special.

FFS IT HAS CLINCHERS WITH TUBES...

MOTHERFUCKING TUBES AND SHIT. BUTYL TUBES EVEN!!!!  HFS!

The other two bikes are ready. Pit bike and white bike. If it is wet black bike gives up the tubeless Rocket Rons and well, we hope we don't need to switch over and ride the bald PDX's.

Tomorrow is a mullet. Business upfront. Then You know what? PAHTAY! AKA SSCX. So yeah. Lobby Ted to let me in the race tomorrow if you see him.

This is all predicated on hoping my rusty race wagon makes it there...

Have I totally jibed from that CX is the new MTB post? Emotionally? Yes. But steadfastly holding true to sentiment and observations, just kind of hoping people realize how dumb it is to blow car loads of cash on bikes that give them marginal or better gains while sucking the souls out of the sport.   Too obvious and bitter there? Meh. It is Saturday night. Long Hammers are long gone.

Take 5 tomorrow

heddwch
G

Flags at half mast today

I certainly will never forget this day way back when.

But the date didn't click until mid-day or so. Riding in I saw the squantum club's big flag at half mast and I didn't immediately grasp the significance of it.

A day to remember indeed, my memories are no where what many people I know went through. Friends who were there, friends who lost loved ones or were separated.

I watched from afar like most of the world. On TV, with co-workers. We walked over to the Student center at Central Michigan U and watched with students faculty and staff all on one TV. After who knows how long being riveted to the TV we went down to food services there, bought coffee and sat down heavily and really didn't say much, just trying to absorb the situation. We went back up, paused at the TV a bit longer then headed to our respective offices. The U shut down after lunch. Security concerns.

A day that I can re-live almost moment by moment.

But our lives went on, forever changed, but we moved forward.

drops the mic

That's about all i can do after last post it seems.

Drop the mic and walk away.

CX is the new MTB

byron (seattle guy, aka bike hugger guy) mentioned something about velonews calling $5200 cx bike base level or something and then someone (or him) remembering the time when there were two production model CX bikes and they were cheap and affordable.  And they were totally competitive.

On one of my jaunts on the bike today it kind of saddly clicked. In a very scary fashion.

It all fell into place.

Maybe i'm biased by having my ass handed to me by some guy who was riding wheels more expensive than my whole bike on a frame i could have purchased three of mine for. All aero.

Different guy demonstrated that Rapha shorts have massively exceissve seat padding, obs not for pedaling but for sitting on ones arse after/before/instead of riding while wearing said company clothing.

The bike disparity has been hitting me more and more.

EVERYONE has disc brake models. EVERYONE has some level of thru-axles. Because it is soooo dumb to have disc brakes w/o thru-axles.

But it goes beyond that. Well beyond that.

No longer can we build a competitive bike with shit we have laying around. Now to clarify, pro's can ride whatever the fuck and still win if they are the best. The equipment doesn't matter at their level. But holy fuck it matters at mine. In the broad spectrum of horribly sucking to at my best barely passabley mediocre. I think i spelled something wrong but i don't give a shit because the realization has been haunting me all afternoon.

The realization that disc brake CX bikes are making the sport no different than MTB. Like trying to show up at a CX race with a v-brake equiped 26" wheel bike and 8 speed grip shift. There's NO fucking way, unless you're just an absolute top level 0.01% freak that you're not going to suffer due to equipment.

I'm scared to say but I can recognize it as fact and truth. Those who have, have suddenly changed the most niche sport of inclusivity.

It has jumped the shark.

Problem is. There's no where else to go.

Problem is I love this thing so much, much like the smackdown rides that I show up on absolutely categorically disadvantageous equipment, I still show up. I get my ass kicked, completely.

I KNOW for a fact that if my bike weighed 18 pounds instead of 24, and I had wheels anywhere near beaing able to call aero with carbon rims I'd probably have no trouble hanging with the fastest on this particular ride. Would I still get dropped by them? Yeah most certainly but I wouldn't lose sight of them on a climb. They wouldn't be doubling back to wait for me.

CX is turning into that. And I fear more than anything that this year, and based on the signs and push from the marketing and selfies (even if it doesn't include the self your own stuff counts as selfie) that this is the watershed year.

Man i hope i'm wrong. And I regret not backing the old jackasses who argued against Disc brakes in CX. I think though my persepctive now is different. My objection is not the same and if it is, then my hat is off to them and I will capitualte and take it back. But I'm worried. Honestly.

And I'm sad.

Is Track the only place left? No they f'd that up when deep section carbon wheels and stupid expensive special hand laid carbon frames were making the difference there too.

Where to go after this. SSCX? Is that any different? Nope. Hate to say it but absolutely not. It isn't any different at all. At. All.

I've been shut out of one discipline I love due to cost of equipment (yeah I'm a dirt bag mt biker at heart, not that anyone would ever be able to tell). Seriously. I don't hate MTB'n around here. I just hate MTBing with anyone else around here, because I'm the only one this ancient shit that doesn't work like their fancy new stuff does.

It does come down to sacrifices and in Steph's words: "The choices i've made" but i'm here, as a result of them, and can only reflect on how it all affects me.

I can't even begin to sell my car (It is still for sale and needs to be gone soon) for what it would cost to buy the cheapest set of carbon tubulars wheels I can find.

Constantly bombarded by how out of place I am in 'this' sport. How alienated it all makes me feel. Like being the townie surrounded by summer folk and not being the townie that has any charisma to save their butt. That.

But pull back a minute and reflect and remember Mike's narrative.
People who don't do it, don't quite understand it.
People who do, know, intrinsically, as soon as you try it you are hooked on it.
Once you race cross, it is hard not to
that's still a driving mantra, a force.... a bit of spark inside.

it still feels true.

There is still so much more to the sport than brakes, or carbon frames or thru-axles.

But there's no quesiton money can buy you a much bigger advantage now than when I discovered it (wickked late fwiw in '97).

Things change.

Sometimes drastically, sometimes glacially.

Random musings. Spurred by reading.

Jarred by the massive gulf between writing styles, despite both authors being brilliant and creating fantastically solid story lines. The words flow differently. Lois Lowry's style is like a river, flowing rushing brilliantly efficient pace but at the same time like the water, so smooth, there are not edges, the changes and twists but they flow so well together. Brilliant wordsmithing. I waited 4-5 months for Son (2012) that's an eternity on Library hold. But I waited longer for other books. Less time for Station Eleven. A completely different meter, style, flow. Abrubt changes, jarring, but brilliantly so, well crafted and I owe a deep debt of grattituted to Eva Hoffman, so if any of you know an Eva who works for Boston's head start program reviewn grants and stuff, let her know I'm indebted for her reccomendation.

Time to retire with the book, reading...  alone time...

some day maybe I'll write something worthy of reading.

heddwch
G

damn that bike still sucks as a road bike

Solo dad for Labor Day weekend, and lead to complications for making pedaling work tonight.

My Tuesday shenanigans totally kicked my ass. Totally. Ouch. And Wed morning pushing as hard as I could, tasting blood riding into the wind with the trailer trying to catch one of the Marks and get to the department retreat in the AM was still lingering in my legs. Didn't help that I had a few beers at the retreat and one or two at my brother's on the way home (picking up eggs) and then one while cooking dinner (who doesn't cook with beer).  The couple extras probably didn't help the recovery combined with a sleepless wife on the eve of her big trip to Anaheim and WDL. I was a zombie today.

But having to drop wife off at Train station meant driving in. Means no pedaling. UNLESS.

Unless I figure out how to get a ride in while kid 2 is at soccer, at a location kind of mid-point of the Derdowski smackdown loop. Thinking about calling it the Derdowski loop from now on. Because it was his design.

Bailey, damn crazy fast mofo bailey, he brings the smack to the smackdown. Just as MLFN envisioned. Hopefully more of the fast locals like Jules and Alex and big Tom will come out and test their neo-pro level legs against Bailey. I'm not worthy but then again, I'm trying to stay with him carrying an extra 25 pounds, 12 years and with a bike cost deficit in the thousands of dollars. I just hope his Roval's don't fold under him like Adamn Sullivan's did.

English David was there, I wonder if he puts embro on those hairy Rapha legs. He spins and was kicking my but bit he's again one of those kids.

That white bike in CX set up is a f'n HUGE liability. But Fuck it.

Better prepared this week than last time I tried to join and failed. Rode backwards and hooked up at Woodward. The crew was thin. But I still managed to tag in for most of the ride. Bailey kept waiting for us. very nice of him. I guess waiting beats riding alone. Andrew managed to ITT from the start (he got there 2 min late) and caught Fox on Hillside. Fox was not in good shape, doc meds made him feel better but he still rode like a sick dude. Good for a while, aka at his potential, then whoops yeah over-extended body not ready.

I survived but only by the grace of Bailey. But I got some insanely at the limit intervals of blood tasting painful pedaling. So that's good.  And I got back in time to get kid home from soccer practice.  Of course real feel today was 100F yeah. Legit. Super humid and gross and hot.

Got home, did dishes, made dinner, kids sleeping.

Waiting for BB30 bearings to arrive. Still just have the one bike functional. Even though wheel issue is solved it just means I don't need to change clinchers over from wheel to wheel. Yet.

It was a good thing to hear that other people have problem counting intervals when they are doing them hard enough. I'm not alone.

Hence my 20/20 intervals are all done via iPod Playlists. Using an ancient iPod i won. If it wasn't for free stuff I'd have no stuff. Or rocks or sometimes some people may remeber bits of green tape i cut and put on bar to remove after each interval. Or start of interval, and I probably confused that then too and did more or less than intended.

But hey. Life is crazy. I'm crazy. I wish I could have made it to Riverpoint to see friends i rarely see outside of CXy season. But it was a good day.

I'd love to head out to Elliston, take Gnarly Monkey up on the request to announce, but man, 6 hours, with the kids, and the dogs, and then where do we stay and LABOR DAY WEEKEND! And work. I can probably still squeek in a few more bike builds before the head cheese says NO MORE PAYCHECKFORYOU.

Life is crazy, but not terrible. I've finally started reading again. Need to catch up on allthese books I've had holds on for 6+ months that finally are coming due. First up is station eleven. Damn this is good. Mentally challenging to read but i'm very thank ful for the amazing reccomendation from a very bright young woman who I sat with on the train back from Zeiss HQ in may. Not sure the degrees of separation but her sister is dating a CX racer, or was, they all live in Boston. Odds are there's less than 6. Even with the random conncetion.

But hey, I'm reading again. Four books to chew through very quickly. I didn't wait all this time to have to wait again did i?

Time for some recovery sleep (after I read until i fall asleep holding the water damaged tablet from work - that needs to be replaced) .

But hey USAC's timing was great. I hadn't registered yet, and took advantage of discount. Now i have liscense all year and can race Nationals (hopefully). Chainring and drive train have been ordered for the black blue, not sure if i have enough cogs to do a portland porcupine, or if i'll just toss a handfull of the cog of choice and call it good. New Der for the white blue, that 105 will move over to the black blue because the ultergra (6700 10sp) der is f'n DESTROYED.

Parts be shifting. Running wide rime with clincher tube for SSCX (for the like four SSCX races i'll do). Oh and yes, Chip, I will race in the orange jumpsuit for enough beer. How much? We'll see.

Time to stop writing, time to start reading. The dogs want me to go up to sleep so they can settle down.

heddwch
G