humo(u)r for today

The Demographics of American Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who
run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think
they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they
should run the country and who are very good at
crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to
run the country, but don't really understand The New
York Times. They do, however, like their statistics
shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who
wouldn't mind running the country-if they could find
the time-and if they didn't have to leave Southern
California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents
used to run the country and did a poor job of it,
thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who
aren't too sure who's running the country and don't
really care as long as they can get a seat on the
train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care
who is running the country as long as they do
something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated, and who like their news as pictures
and/or cartoons.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running
another country, but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who
aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is
running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand
for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders
are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who
also happen to be illegal aliens from any other
country or galaxy, provided, of course, that they are
not Republicans
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in
line at the grocery store.
12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have
recently caught a fish and need something in which to
wrap it.

And the purported 'original' and quite well delivered: