Clarity...

It is strange almost.

Wondering if it will last. So skeptical I am. But this feels different. Strange but in "hey, stuff is actually pretty cool" way.  The week is almost over, made it. Survived.

Motivation, incentive. I've sort of set in my mind that I want something tangible, a luxury item if you will, but one I will use nearly everyday. But stuff costs money, there's little to go around, but I've got all these scanning electron microscope images. They are pretty spectacular. And pretty diverse, from food to bikes to insects and blood. I've got a great relationship with a printer and he knows how to transform my digital work into analog print in a way that I am happy with.  So maybe I can leverage it somehow. #jerrynomics I guess, in a way. But selling art is always a challenge. How do you value it. Always a mystery. Factoring the time spent thinking about/acquiring the sample, then preparing it for the microscope and then the time on the scope.  Commercial rates for the system for me running it are in the $400/hr range. I can get a pile of images an hour just churning them out but the creative process isn't always fast, but it is something I do actually feel like I've mastered. The microscope is an extension of me.  And then there is the concrete material cost of archival printing. I should charge a minimum of a $1000 if i want to actually make this a profitably venture. But I'd rather be at an approachable price and have the prints be aesthetically enjoyed, rather than just piling up in my office.

This isn't really part of what's going on, not part of the shift in focus, mental state.

I will say I'm tired of everyone asking me how my holiday break was. It was not so much the most fun. Pretty much anti-fun. BUT. It was needed. Kind of like this I guess.

A wake up slap. Took a while for the fog to lift but as I mentioned, things are a lot clearer it seems.

I've found a bit of the old mojo so to say I guess.

Course direction hasn't been set at all but sort of call it an upgraded nav system. Like going from having a busted compass to redundant GPS nav.

Trying to make sense of the new system I guess. still find myself occasionally looking at the compass wandering and pointing aimlessly and getting a moment of panic, before being able to consciously say hey we've got this.

Going to take time.

Still no pedaling, haven't managed to get the bike room sorted out, just playing solo dad, driving the girls everywhere, soccer, ballet, making dinner, laundry, dishes, all the things.  And that's been good. Very good.

I'm just trying not to get fat, even though I'm losing all fitness/strength. But there's plenty of time. And if I can get a handful of prints sold I think it'll all come together pretty damn well.

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