twitter replies I shouldn't make

running commentary i suppose, [translation - run the fuck away and don't read anything else - you've been warned]

This first - the other i wrote first but better put this first.
https://twitter.com/WholeFoods/status/693222121909161989
Oh yeah - low salt? Healthy? Healthy for those in your will because you're gonna die.
Biologists know this shit, nutritionists and doctors don't. Sodium is fucking essential. Low sodium diet? yeah lets see if we can kill you sooner. Also well, there are a good growing number of ignored (by psuedoscience places like WF) papers proving and pointing out that low sodium diets result in higher mortality.  Also hey, lets look at osmolarity. Does sugar aka glucose tweak osmolarity? Maybe. Or not sure, it is all sodium, because, wait, what? Nah, sugar can't be the problem because I like baked goods and all that stuff, lets vilify the savory thing that isn't addictive. Also can we lump all the "this is healthy because it is low in fat" asshole and dimwhitted morons into the same boat as the salt is bad for you group? Sorry but hey read this: http://profgrant.com/2016/01/29/understanding-glucagon-and-somatostatin-28/ if you can't undestand it then you shouldn't be #1 giving advice, #2 listening to anyone who can't read it and then distill it into terms you might be able to understand. Am I being excessively harsh? Perhaps. I've had a rough fucking week and my levels of fucks to give are at zero and this has been bugging me for a long time and the damn burst.


so lets move on to this

https://twitter.com/cyclocross/status/693226686003871744
(not gonna bother linking - lame/lazy)
comment that i almost replied with but didn't:
well GoFahr threw NECX under the bus in GCD's podcast so maybe there is life outside of NECX, as in the connotation was NECX isn't anything special, far from it, and there's better CX in other places, connotation is tough when you're speaking on the fly. But hey i'm part of the PVD mafia that GCD tagged and we do things differently down here, or so i'm told, didn't think so but maybe that was artistic liberties of vocal podcast humor, and then that's cool. But to point out the biggest race in PVD isn't put on by anyone FROM PVD. how fucked is that? Bunch of Mass people putting on a race in our capital city. NBXCX is Rhody style through and through though, and Riverpoint Pahk Kehd, That shit is ours motherfucker.

Pushing the limits with these two comments expounding on tweets.

No question.

Battery charge idea clarity happened. I spend most interactions listening to others, what are their problems what did they have to deal with what are they doing now what do they need from me what do I need to do to help what do I think of this or that or why am I not excited about their stuff.

No. one. Askes. me. The internet though is dumb, you can't ask there, and being asked there isn't the same, but then i thought about it, in the old days, we would write a blog and have a reasonably concrete idea of who was reading it because people would comment. Now no one (besides Fatmarc) comments on blogs anymore. But then I know the google stat monkey says some people are reading or at least clicking but does clicking mean reading and are they listening? No. Not the same as someone actually being invested in listening and displaying the body language and wanting to listen. No I'm not the easiest to get to open up and start talking so maybe everyone just says fuck it - too challenging to get him to actually talk or man do we really want to listen to his bullshit? No. But then it doesn't matter. Because for a long time i'd start talking and dominate and not know when to shut up. pendulum...  back and forth...  the bottling up and silence alternative is about as healthy as the spill at every opportunity. But trying to hang in the balance in the middle doesn't work when everyone you're interacting with personally has FAR more important and dramatic shit they need to tell you than you have, and so you don't say anything. To anyone. Or rarely much of anything. And so what happens to the battery....  gets lower, and lower, and lower and lower and lower and lower and oh little boost because i had a chance to talk and someone was actually wanting to listen to me, oh back to lower...

It is okay. seriously. or isn't but i'm trying to stay positive and make the failing mine and own up to failing and see what I can do to not fail and never blame anyone else because really you can't.

Okay maybe not okay, but i've been dealing with it and need to figure out that balance. Maybe that's why the fall worked well, someone was listening and prodding me and prying shit out of me that i needed to say but wouldn't have if they weren't expressing genuine interest and care. Not that people who are not prying and prodding don't care but they don't know or are too wrapped up in their own shit or just too immature or just blissfully unaware. Maybe. I dunno. Or more likely I do know and am just deflecting because I tolerate lots of shit.

Tuesday night indoor sessions are good. Hopefully teaching this class (for free) will be good on Mondays, the group of students is awesome and am looking forward to their dynamic and I feel it will be an awesome thing. But also it will be a huge drain in every way. Sometimes teaching is rewarding, and this class often can be and usually is, but it is different this year. All me. More pressure, beyond everything. Really cannot state how much pressure there is, how much is riding on this class how much internal pressure there is.

Food? People are dumb. Doctors treating patients don't recognize that insulin is the issue and have been brainwashed by propaganda that fat is bad and carbohydrates esp high fiber like fruit are good, even though the opposite is true when treating obesity and insulin sensitivity related complications.

But who listens to those who listen. The blog doesn't work the way it used to (repeating myself - like i will say later i read through this). I am listening far more to friends than I ever have, yet have found myself in a place with fewer and fewer people to talk to and then also a reluctance to talk to the remaining few closest because their problems and their issues all are far more significant and make mine seem kind of trivial.

But they (problems) are still mine and i guess i winds up like this. Pack it in, pack it in, pack it in... until it explodes. That was a former friend's thing. That was what he did, probably still does, but I dunno....

this friday night word fest is probably one of the worst things I can do, but i've read through it once (twice) already, like i said on twitter in reply to Ryan Kelly: I'm on the GCD plan, i'm too broke to buy enough beer to get drunk, can't even really afford to get a buzz. Heck i'm riding the shittiest of shitty bikes, or a bike that doesn't fit or yeah, nothing new.

But some how I'm making it work. So yeah. Suck it up, keep making it work. Although I really need my frenchie teammate's diagram/chart to point out where i am. But I can never remember the graph axis labels well enough to redo it or draw it, maybe I'll give him a napkin and a sharpie next time i see him and make him diagram it. It feels like kind of like the explanation of it all.

This weekend is going to be crazy, going to say Fuck you to sleep because saturday i'm getting up to see Ellen Noble race the new category and hopefully crush everyone like she did at Nationals, and then watching the women race later, then driving everywhere and all over the state until well after midnight, only to get up stupid early for an indoor soccer game (to watch, drive to, drive back from) and hopefully get to the Cable Car for the big screen showing of the Men's race where the racers I love and care about are either Canadian, married to someone from the UK or are Anthony Clark. And pretty much assured that not one of them will get any air time.

And at least this won't get any air time,

or if it does no one will let me know (yeah that's a stupid lame passive aggressive way of dealing with it) I should rephrase it to say that if you do read this reach out, not to me because I'm fine, i'll make it, but someone else, i'm not the only one like me, find someone else like me and reach out to them, don't reach out to me because it will be awkward and you don't want that. Heck if my best friends can't meet me for coffee, they probably have good reasons, also I got told today even with my gorgeous eyes and smiling face, I'm super scary because I'm so tall and big and intimidating. So that was extra awesome too.

Great. Now suddenly i'm intimidating. The guy with zero self confidence because he's been bullied his whole life is now being told he's intimidating. That's going to play well on LifetimeTV.

Maybe i just need to go back to driving 40k miles a year and taking selfies and posting them on flickr. Although those selfies were blind shots with a digital camera with no monitor, not that anyone gets this reference or allusion.

oh and FUCK the EMPIRE and FUCK disney for marketing that the DARK side is something to feel connected to.... seriously? FUCK you assholes - Han didn't need to die to remake the same plot line, yeah spoilers - don't care, less than I did last time i spilt the spoilers.

sorry coozie that says loyal to the empire is sitting on the table. it bugs me.

but then what doesn't bug me lately.

maybe tomorrow will fix it all.

probably not but i'm always hopeful because i'm a dumbass that way

sorry for being this middle aged emo confused loser...  but hey...  that sounds pretty close to true so best end now before i make it worse

heddwch
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