life... relentless...
A huge punch in the reality balls happened oddly during a Pandora commercial today while i was putting bikes together for the shop, because dollar bills are dollar bills and I can't choose to ignore the chance to make more. The dollar figure the state of RI is tossing out for individuals to get free assistance doing their Tax prep? haha... more than either my wife or i made (including my second and third jobs in 2015). Laughably tearful. Granted together we make more than that but then that's two people busting their ass and still each making less than the state made that mark at... Okay so it has caused a fixation point and that's never good.
Life's a kick in the balls when you're not out to monetize and leverage every last little thing. Worked 1/2 day yesterday, worked 3/4 day today, all week next week- then probably both days next weekend and from here on out to eternity. Or at least until I submit grades and take a day off during the week.
"The choices I've made." steph said that to me what seems like a looong time ago... still rings true. Wondering what might have been with other choices is kind of pointless. And destructive.
Much better lately at not thinking about them.
But hey - i did ride today even if i didn't ride yesterday and even if today was just into the city and back.
It was good.
The pedaling. I actually rode in with tunes in my ears. Metallica's And Justice For All album. It was awesome. Ride home? no tunes. SO many people oblivious to signs and manners and anything outside their own personal bubble. No wonder Trump makes sense to them, even if he doesn't make sense to them it is the same attitude.
No. I'm not complaining.
Documenting.
Difference.
I know why I am where I am and pretty much am okay with it. I'd love to absolutely have a burden lifted but then maybe i'd not be myself. But then being oneself is a dynamic, you aren't anything but no matter what even when you aren't being yourself because you still are yourself and so.. yeah.
Life is a raging cluster for lots of us.
We do what we can.
I'm pissed I'm still so slow on the hills, but happy I'm recovering enough to get back to giving enough power to catch back up after being dropped there. Constantly reminded that my wheel game is slow and sup-par for the course. But then who the fuck are the dipshits showing up with fancy deep section or hell even showing up with carbon wheels on a training ride? NOT ME! Obviously or i'd be not getting my ass kicked as much by those with the fancy wheels.
I did really like riding in this morning. Tunes in my ears meant I didn't have to listen to the frame creaking. Not bad I guess. Took from 2009 until now for this BB30 frame to develop an unresolvable creak in the BB. Everything's been replaced that can be replaced and it still clicks/ticks and creaks. Kind of hoping the frame breaks. But not really- if it breaks it will just be a measure of something, not like it'll get replaced if it fails.
Making some chili tonight. soaked the beans and cooked them and now in chili... burritos later this week when I re-fry them and all that.
Weather looking more promising to get smackdown in on Tuesday, maybe the rain will stop soon enough for people to want to show up.
We'll see.
kind of SOP lately... "we'll see"
heddwch
G
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Hey, I left my job of 22 years when I was 40, and started a new career at age 41. It's ok to change your mind. No need to stay stubbornly entrenched in an old position (no matter what Bernie tells you). Plenty of time to branch out and make mo' money.
And the wheels thing... Tires can make a huge difference too. 10-15 watts each maybe. YMMV.
-NC
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