Words, Life, what...

I've got less than 10 minutes here, on a crazy day. Didn't bring lunch in, had to get some, still hungry, but no time to get more food. No time to make a lunch to take (no left overs because dinner was too yummy and not a left over kind of meal) because I read this: https://shoogslarrison.wordpress.com/2016/03/24/i-dont-think-the-heavy-stuff-is-gonna-come-down-for-a-while/ and then was sitting there for a while...

lost in thought and emotions... and then i was late.

Now i'm hungry, trying to reboot brain for training session on the heels of another training session with 20 min to go get lunch and eat it. Ate most of it walking back. Nice Slice is good, didn't want anything else, pizza hits the spot sometimes, esp when it is good and they make good shit.

Shoogs sent me hug by proxy at Nats. Deeply deeply appreciative of that.

Words want to come out but they are still a jumbled mess in my head.

No smackdown for me this week. I didn't sleep much sunday night - may have had too much fun at my brother's decompressing and hanging out, not too much but felt like too much, Monday was a struggle, tuesday was better and then i didn't go to smackdown and that was the right choice, but it is has been non-stop. I did stop and slow down a bit last night, but this whole driving back to the city thing for 7:30-8 every night for kid pickup is far more disruptive than I had realized, or I'm just not getting any recovery time anywhere else and those moments are eating into me a bit. Decompressing at the farm wasn't a choice, I should have gone into the shop to build, to work, but I didn't, and now here we are and it is Thursday and where has all the time gone? Poof.

I'll be back to having 15 vacation days accrued when the first of the month rolls around. I should take one. or two. at some point. Really need kind of a whole week, like, a vacation. No schedule, no pre-ride, no race, no pressure, no nothing. A pile of books, my bike, some coffee, beer, food, somewhere not at home, somewhere that i can turn it all off and shut it down and recharge. Kind of realizing that Nationals was not a break. I came back refreshed a bit...  Constant motion. I need to dry dock. Yes even with a bike. even if it is an hour spin... too much a part of me not to have it.

but my 10 minutes are up now...  maybe I'll get a chance to come back to it after the next 3 hour block of major intensity, I never really notice how exhausting the trainings I give are for me until I try and do two in one day.

heddwch
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