baby steps

at this point with as fucked up as shit has gotten tonight over stuff that is pretty trivial but most absolutely important to some but less to to us much less athletically inclined... well

I've refrained from blasting a string of shit from the private twitters...  as in I really wanted to, but then didn't.

not that posting here is better but it is a release, esp since there's literally probably one or two people i can talk about this with and they both probably need a long explanation to get it if then and it is unlikely to convey properly.

And now just handed a card to my kids from my 100+ year old grandmother

disarmed but maybe less so... and just sad and feeling like a failure for not flying the kids across the country routinely to see her...  second guessing choices is what i do best BTW. but hopefully long term investment choices are worth it, but as with life, you never know.

The choices you make.

The are, you deal...  you move forward.

Or you move on, in what ever direction shit sets you on...

not sure really how to wrestle with the next week, my brothers, yeah all three, w/o me are flying out to Denver to drive together to Saguache to be with my dad for a week...  E and the youngest are going to be gone for all but two of those days and my oldest is here, no driver's license with the dogs and yeah... well... adding to it obligations and commitments of being one driver family with dogs at home mean Saturday plans are out the window and Sunday? that's a stupid day anyway. FUCK the patriarchy. Fuck those guys....  bunch of assholes anyway.

At least I'll be in a better mood in the morning, can't sleep worse than I did last night. Hey AC is pretty solid

Never have I switched from Heat to Cool without weeks of "off" in between. Always a first.... struggle mode but hey, whatever, that's life, I'm a welsh dragon.. we carry the fuck on, and still survive....

if i was to get a tattoo (not that i could decide where or which one or stylized or flag) that would be my first tattoo...  size and location relative to cost and all that....

Probably would do a St David's day leek, probably a daffodil too...  awesome plants and dragons...  pretty solid Welsh Botanist theme...

dreaming is fun, maybe i'll by a lottery ticket because well you can't win if you don't and the mental benefit of thinking you might is supposed to be worth something...  right?

Still probably won't buy one though... bad math.

Tomorrow is a new day, eh?

Heddwch
G