three

curious number eh?

heck i barely broke 4 hours for the week of pedaling.

"What do you have planned for the weekend?"

So many of those questions...  my answer? nothing, i'll be working.

Bikes?

I'll have new drive train on Wed maybe.

I could probably ride the Klein for the first TT, or maybe ride the Paramount instead. Bikeworks is bringing it back starting next week.

A relief because now I don't have to feel bad about failing to follow through for everyone...  someone else picked up the slack.

i've let the slack out everywhere...  call it patient fisherman or over extended one hoping maybe to just land something on one of the rods....  likely land nothing but...  i'll pay the line out...

things have been better, but worse/better/different, easier when i was ignored, more difficult when people say "hey where the fuck are you"

of course i'm doing this to sort of self protect, it was getting bad trying to interact on twitter, and then now I feel, given the absence that I'm the asshole who's ghosted everyone.

figures...  who but me can take a self preservation action and turn it into a self destructive emotion...



oh well... theres a shit ton to do, we put the PO in for the insanely amazing microscope I went out to visit in PDX, the Hungarian specialist is pretty hot BTW. Unrelated to purchase to be clear. now somehow have to make the old shit work until then...


and somehow keep up with the demand of trainings that are pouring in faster than I can fulfill....

failing on all fronts...

fatter, slower, don't care, kind of liking the idea of saying fuck Cross...  fuck that arms race...  hire me to work if you can afford me, but i'm kind of feeling done with racing...  i'd elaborate but I better not tonight....

or ever.

heddwch
G

PS...  still haven't talked to any of my brothers, or my dad since they were all together for a week in CO...  w/o me...  nice that you all were able to coordinate it and shit... thanks for making me feel even more alienated than I thought possible...  and thanks for continuing to...

good head space most of the week,,,  failed to figure out one major scope problem and that piled on to everthing else...  tomorrow is another day...  a fresh start...  wake up, make coffee and go to work.

and the next day and the next day....  #shrug