no smackage

didn't make it out this june...

today something unexpectedly odd (eye issue).

but before that yeah I still wasn't going to go, just tired, and uninspired to go fast/hard. And ok with that right now. No riding muse, no functional desire to go fast right now.

BUT i did order new shoes today...  TWO FUCKING PAIRS even. HELL YEAH.

My shimano's are destroyed, the bontragers are pretty fucking close on the heels....

Was tempted to go with the XC7 in red and blue/black but went with two pair of the blue black. Not feeling the red.

And my eye is bugging the shit out of me. Gdamit. Get me through the night and we'll see what happens in the AM.

Best case and i'll be at the eye doc and cancelling shit in the AM. or worst case, or at least in the case if my eye doesn't feel better in the AM. We'll see. Odd shit is that it is the other eye. not the one with the corneal scratch from the curly maple chip glancing off my cheek and deflecting under the safety glasses and grazing the center. Such a slight scratch that every once in a while when I get super dehydrated the eyelid has enough friction to remove the cells filling the scar and it takes about a week to heal.

This is the other eye.

And hey BTW, for the job i get paid most to do? I kind of need these fucking things.

New bike shoes though!

Cranks? we'll see, gotta check a few more distributors to find some 95 BCD 5 arm in a 44-48 size. Maybe then get the Surly cranks for the SSCX, maybe i just never have the White blue and Black blue in service at the same time.

Ideally I'd like to get the fork fixed for the paramount and make that one Road bike #1. Even if i go back to down tube shifters just to fuck with the god damn kids these days.

Wife being back has been really good, something's missing but much much less is right now.

What's missing? Cycling passion igniter. Over the years a few special people did that for me, Art? The Muse? same thing...  But i can't blame it on anyone else, because more often than not both of those passions, racing and creating, were self driven. Working on that now.

The art is stymied. I need to get my Dad's book done before he's done. And given that I haven't talked to him since april and he doesn't return phone calls and my brothers were all out there in CO w/o so much as even calling/connecting with me kind of leaves a question mark. But the book is something I need to make happen.

Not sure how. Would be nice if I was still close to that old friend who self published photo books to ask advice of.

My Eye is buggin the shit out of me. Work is fucking insane (both places). granted I'm only really working 60-70 hr weeks, it isn't so bad. Could be worse. Maybe I'll take the 4th off.

Gotta do the routine service on the Van and the Wagon. Maybe that'll be the 4th project. Working on cars is a good Patriotic thing to do? Better gather all the shit from Rock Auto before the weekend!

The bike situation is kind of crazy, but, discussions with legally bound partner has made me really comfortable with SSCX. But I somehow, oddly timed, caught the twitter post of the dates. More than 50% are outside the drive to racing range...  we'll see, if you know someone who wants to hire a CX race mechanic, send em my way. Very serious about wrenching being more of a priority than racing.

Suppose i should eventually get back on Twitter to push it...  Nah, no one wants some know it all jackass who can fix anything and has years of practice handing off bikes in the pit being taught by the best euro schooled pros.... nah...

No market there.

Soon i make bike ride more than to work.

maybe....

till then? #shrug

i got a full plate, and an appetite supported by the mental knowledge that I can eat even more than I'm trying to.

Hey BTW...  still decent head space, i'm a negative fucking melancholic grumpy unhappy regretting not realizing my potential before now...

okay, back to one eyed dinner cooking...  ouch...

more water - stay hydrated motherfuckers... also - pickles , grillos , to increase water retention....

heddwch
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