lunch film

Life of Pie from Patagonia on Vimeo.
watched this eating lunch just now...

lunch took just that long to eat...

that's the time I had, and this time I'm stealing from the next spot - hopefully I'm not late.

Got me a bit teary eyed watching it. Probably means my emotions are on the ragged edge. I know they are. It has been ridiculously tough being back. There's literally no one else doing my job here. And even at the bike shop - not really there either. Coming back from a great trip to this overwhelming madness kind of sucks.

Feeling now is to just leave again and not come back until it is sorted out. Just step out. Figure your shit out and i'll come back and slip back in once everyone sorts it out. Which i guess they can't and probably won't. not that leaving and walking away is something I could or would do. Hell the car punched up a CEL on the next drive after being home. Awesome.

working hard to maintain the amor fati mental framework, but it is f'n hard.

i should probably go back and re-read and edit that long post about the race, make sure it makes sense and i'm not doing my usual and saying something that can be taken the wrong way.

Okay...  oh RRRR is tomorrow - i feel pretty anxious and bad about how little energy and time i've committed to that ride this year, maybe next year we can work on that a bit better, or I just have to walk away from it...  it is tough.

ah well

heddwch
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