Lunch video:
And some links:
https://theradavist.com/2021/01/finding-myself/ (can go watch the video too: https://sauriproductions.com/)
catch up here obvs:
https://www.kentfackenthall.com/
Don't whatever you do miss reading this:
https://allhailtheblackmarket.com/2021/01/is-everybody-ok/
and no - the answer is no we're not okay and no, as much as I wish there was the idea spot around here to plunk that weird ass of Stevil's in NE/RI it ain't a whole hell'lot better than out there and as much as I want to help, knowing when you can't and not beating yourself up about it is important, or so i hear, but you can share and ask around and maybe one of your smarter (all of them) friends have ideas.
And yeah - again, maybe I shouldn't be taking in so much basic becky content, but it is good content and today I realized there are some things I'm not longer mad about, and that's good.
Jill's been blogging for a while, one of the earlier blogs I followed along, she's written books and has made something out of it all, and still plugs along... this resonates a little:
http://www.jilloutside.com/2021/01/empty-fitness.html
Okay by a little I mean a lot and it speaks to that Colorado opportunity missed with my Dad I've mentioned before. And yeah for a coastal saltwater human I've spent quite a lot of time in CO, just never with a MTB. And the experiences remain etched on my soul.
Today picked up right where friday left off. A fucking shit show. The weekend was good, different, I think, I don't remember much, oh, right, bike shop, bike ride, car shopping and then grocery shopping - three days - poof - couldn't fall asleep last night then was toeing the line of consciousness and sleep, feeling almost hot, thinking someone opened a window and the furnace was just going non-stop, i was confused, not sleeping well, finally I think i stopped noticing what time it was at almost 2am. Funny, I have been okay with sleep, getting it, getting to sleep, and then that happens. Dinner was veggie heavy and carb light - maybe brain was thinking I needed more glucose and it took a while for the liver to oblige.
Okay so I watched another couple videos - need the distraction from the disasters, and at the same time waiting for an actionable email reply. Like as soon as I have the reply shit gets crazy again, but waiting.
here:
https://youtu.be/khhIE-bC9Ao
and
https://youtu.be/GiWJ3ILPBjo
What are your plans for the year? I wonder if 24HOGG will happen, probably not but there's no reason not to hope it'll go off as planned or modified to make it a go. What to do between now and then?
Was asked, on sunday, a question I couldn't answer: "What is one thing that you can do that will make you happy today?"
Kind of story of my life eh? The answer: "I don't know."
Also late friday afternoon I was told to "snap out of it" it wasn't a great week and that kind of made it worse. Snap out of it? like that's possible... like someone saying "just flip the switch, be happy, you have control, just flip the switch." As if it works like that.
Buzzer, times up, life goes on, getting spread just a little thinner every day... staring at the calendar looking at it like 'how the fuck' and thinking, one day at a time... one day...
at
a
time
amor fati motherfuckers
heddwch
G
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