Made it through the race this past weekend... bike died but fixed it.
Body did great... except...
lingering bit of knee inflamation. Subpatellar still, right knee. Been painful since new bike. Not worse than before but I did smash it once and added some extra.
And then got a wee bit of perineal abrasion. Damnit. Those shorts are cursed I tell ya. Oh well so much for team kit. to be clear I hadn't worn those for rides longer than three hours. They were fine. Not for 9+ hours (washed in the middle) in back to back days.
Getting that healed is going to be more important that any rides I do this weekend. And the other thing?
I'm still tired. working hard to keep coffee intake low but it is tough. Knee is good as long as I don't sit for too long. Had to sit down for a minute while i did very little to help my brother install the two new windows. Home triage. Been talking about doing these windows for 4+ years now, he's headed to WA to see everyone, wanted to get it done before then. Tired. Then after cleaning up it was late, bailed and just ordered takeout for dinner.
This next week and a few days are going to be tough.
Wanted to ride the e-bike today but am worried about creating the inflamation from the too short cranks. So well... shurg, big old orange singlespeed commuter it is.
Still need to make a list of shit to pack.
Was thinking this morning... I want to have a table there. like some place to put shit on, even if it isn't super stable or level, just a flat fucking surface. I don't have one.
And a camp light. Like do i want to use headlight lumens to find shit at night at the camp? No. I don't.
have to figure out the rear wheel too. I'm anxious about heading up without at least a backup wheelset.
sigh
funny how the one thing i'm not worried about (even though maybe I should be) is the pedaling part.
that's funny
most people kind of gravitate to that ridiculous fact first and go, WHAT? you're doing WHAT?
Yeah i'm riding all that AND i have to do it all self supported. Like make my own sandwiches and fill my own fucking waterbottles. Go stand in line for food after the race starts? hahahahah yeah that's not gonna happen.
9 mile course tho... we'll see how long it takes for a lap. haven't seen an elevation profile but there are elevation lines on the map.
Solo solo as in unsupported is just not set up well for this - but whatever - i'll figure it out, i won't be alone up there and well i do everything alone anyway... what's different about this? Well i'm over 4 hours from home and have to make sure i bring everything i need...
and i'm getting concerned about the list of shit i don't have and need to get sorted before then.
oh and speaking of
triggers
"you got this"
works for some people, very motivating and powerful for them.
it is my fucking kryptonite.
"you got this" and my head says "do i have any choice? of course i do but i'm fucking last and slow and struggling or whever else is goting on"
"you got this" at work and i'm all like BUT WHY, i feel overworked and under appreciated and literally burned out because, why? BECAUSE I GOT THIS.
I know "I got this" i got here with the choices I made and it is what it is and yes I'm full on Amor Fati this shit but still, trigger words are tough to rewire the brain about.
Yeah i know "shrug it off, it is meant with all the positivity and encouragment the tone of the person gave the words" try rewiring your brain, it ain't easy and I'm working on it but man i realized lately that when i'm racing and people say stuff like that or when i'm last or obviously struggling "you're doing awesome" NO I AM NOT
i do have to remember i chose to do this and the perspective from the other side of the tape is different and i need to see more from those eyes than the jaded ones in my head.
heard this song on the 'radio' the other day... forgot how hold it is, but not how much i related to it
man i'm gonna be 50 soon and am still fucked up from low self esteem and lack of confidence
The more you suffer the more it shows you really care...
I need to focus on the fact that I feel good about the bike pedaling part. That's not the easy part. The rest of the shit is the easy part.
But then would I be me? Maybe.
Okay - cobbled together lunch has been eaten (too tired to make dinner means no left overs) have to make dinner tonight, there's a ton of food in the fridge but not much that doesn't need prep. Ah the life of living with the basic ingredients not the premade stuff. So lunch done, time to go back to the scheduling and sorting of everything.
yay schedule juggling.
yeah i know
amor fati motherfuckers
heddwch
G
2 comments:
"you got this" if anyone told me that at work I think I'd go out of my way to #disappoint them. Dislike that expression too.
I have one of these:
https://www.rei.com/product/866035/gci-outdoor-compact-camp-table-25
They make a smaller version for $44 too. It is nice. Very light, folds up, I use it at home too.
Knees sometimes get better by themselves. Sometimes... Pruitt's pamphlet should be available still, browse through it and see if anything sounds like you.
Tis the season for saddle sore problems. Saturday I felt like I could stay out another hour, but decided not to because my shorts were soaked with sweat, and I remember last August, because I see a couple of "easy" weeks in my diary. Never used to happen. Might be from old skin not being as resilient, or it could be from having more "soft tissue" on my bottom these days. Good luck with it. I use Noxema for saddle cream. Cheaper then the fancy blends, water based, available anywhere. YMMV. Good luck!
Both days i took the kit off and it was soaking wet. It didn't rain on Saturday.
It is a new thing for me but maybe a regular thing, i hope not. But the bibs i was wearing were not my favorite.
I didn't see any free resources about the knee pamphlet.
it is the same knee that is missing the bursa - suspect inflammation lasts longer in that knee.
or it is something else. No change over the weekend or pain while pedaling, is encouraging (or maybe a warning i dunno)
def kind of contemplating booking a doc visit for OMM a day or two after getting back, figuring there's gonna be a bit of fuckedupness after pedaling that long
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