Reality is dawning

 Been thinking, looking, reading up a tiny bit. Adrenaline rush can be good but mine? Not good. When triggered from the 'fear' place vs angry place vs sad place vs action/athlete vs thrill place it is different.

Ways to deal with it, get regular exercise, at least 30 minutes a day. That's FUNNY (already do). Limit screen time, tough one but on the whole I do spend quite a bit of time not in front of screens, of if they are they are pretty far away (I have long arms and my eyes still work) there's a low % of that light vs the rest, but then again nearly all the artificial lighting I'm around is LED. So that probably isn't good.

One of the things is to cut back on coffee or tea, aka caffeinated beverages. And that got me reflecting about the last time I was having this many panic attacks/spontaneously triggered Adrenaline rushes. Michigan, driving back and forth, not getting much exercise, drinking too much coffee.

That dawning reality is two fold. One, for self preservation I need to remove myself from the stimulus that is causing the overactive adrenaline to rush my system. That is physiologically bad. My situation might be unique, it probably is, it certainly seems to be an outlier from my limited sampling of people.

The other? I probably could/should cut back on coffee to make it a bit easier maybe. Until I can find a better response to seeing a fucking headline or hearing about some absolutely evil shit happening, that I can't do anything about.

Haven't made a pot of coffee at work today. I will need more but maybe I'll make just a few cups. This coffee maker I have doesn't have to be filled up to the brim to work. IT WILL make a small amount of coffee. I think, I've never tried. 

Lets see what happens. But holy shit, I could really stand to not have a panic attack/adrenaline flush dozens of times a day.

And when they happen as I'm trying to fall asleep? That's bad. Like being away for hours bad.

Gotta do what we can each do. Keep doing this job, keep helping people, keep doing good and creating a safe space for those around me, keep making art to keep my sanity.

I should take a walk before lunch eh? bring the camera. I need to finish up the roll in the Half Frame. Been trying a few double exposures with it. A pretty stock effect but hopefully one that works at least for one frame. I'll take a low success rate for this.

Just kind of wish it was a little warmer. 

Hell has certainly frozen over!

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

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