NECX Ohana

http://www.gofundme.com/a3wh08

from that page:

Hi everyone,

A few days ago Ryan and Amanda Kelly welcomed their daughter, Margot Thomas Kelly, to the world. As you can see from the picture above, she has not yet refined her taste in hats, but let's cut her some slack for the time being - she's still very young, and what she lacks in stylistic sense she's making up for with the absurd beauty that only babies have.

Margot's also proving herself very strong in her first few days on the planet, as she's fighting her way through some health issues (Dad wrote about them here: http://theryantkelly.tumblr.com/). While she's doing as well as she can at the moment, odds are that she'll continue to receive (the very best possible) care at the hospital for a few more weeks - which means, obviously, that Amanda and Ryan will be spending their next few weeks with her there.

It's hard to say precisely what they'll need going forward - the most immediately obvious thing is the cost of the hotel they'll be staying in until Margot is out of the hospital, but one can imagine that perhaps Margot will need tiny ear muffs to drown out the sound of her father talking about video games and bikes and blogs.

They haven't asked for this assistance in any way, but if you're reading this, you already know Ryan and Amanda are good and kind and compassionate people who more than deserve whatever help you can give them.

So donate some money here - anything you can, whether it's a dollar or ten or whatever. Everything that's raised (whether it's the arbitrary goal I picked or more) goes to them and whatever they need to make the next few weeks a little easier.

Thanks for your help.

Ryan is family.

his family is family...

Ohana...

NECX has had a lot of that lately it seems, doesn't matter how much, we are legitimately a family. Disfunctional at times, but there is no question: family.

I do a pretty good Stitch impression... "Ohana, means, family... no one gets left behind"

This Ryan guy.... he's f'n amazing honestly... love him... so much...

ohana
necx

heddwch
g

The rain

Walk to the dentist, he planned. It is only a 10 min walk, he knew. Wasn't rain hard earlier, he noted.

Oops. Pouring rain it is. Shell jacket isn't so waterproof anymore.

Soaked to the bone he is.

Seattle area he is from.

Umbrellas he eschews.

Price he pays.

Wet.

good stuff happening

I'm sure most of you have run across one of the other few last bloggers in #NECX and his post from yesterday:
http://velocb.blogspot.com/2014/06/ride-it-russ.html

NECX as a whole has been a great community, and we've all benefitied from the love and generosity we feel towards eachother.

Not just the grand scope of getting Russ a new Mt Bike that he will, I know, ride the hell out of, no beyond that...  I feel the love, and am very very appreciative of it all that's been extended my way, and a chance like this to pay it back a bit in this way, just seems right.

Life is nuts. Moving up ceremony, in-laws in town, complex scheduling, words have been piling up even though I've been writing. No time. But things right now? They seem pretty damn good.

#rideitruss

G

sidebar

when you take a really long extended break and only write about recipies or other stuff...

people stop reading

a few are obviously

but, in a way, kind of losing a big number of regular readers is a good mental reset button

(just a thought while riding the other day)

I'm feeling more like writing lately

of course it could just be that I needed a break

remaking the Ge i guess right?

"let's get coffee..."

January, 2009...  MLFN sent me that note...

circumstances kept conflicting... we kept trying, but i missed the sense of urgency and he was good at hiding it...

i dug through the emails looking for the exact one...  found lots of his emails but not that specific one.

this one hit hard: "Hey all, please pardon my absence for the Smackdown tomorrow.  You will not be having me along once again.  It will happen this Tues on Every month.  Some of you know why, and if you don't, you don't need to know.  I hope someone can take over the event tomorrow.  I know there as quite a few now who know the smack-down philosophy!!!"

By that time i did know. Dr Flats maybe or AD or someone had told me... All season since the start of the smack down in 2009 he was missing one per month. He made every other one and usually kicked everyone's ass. Seriously.

He missed them because that one week he was getting Chemo.

Big difference between his passing and Ezras I suppose. I got dropped coming back, he made the gap, on Greenfield, and I missed it. I wasn't alone, but watching him ride away from me while bridging the gap when i couldn't was the last time I saw him.

We stopped a few times along there to wait for him (to shit in the woods). He sent Keith Kelly out to our ride on his way home. He rode back to Dr Flat's house and saw Kelly on the BLVD.

He rolled back home, checked into the hospital, was medically transfered to Boston that night, then to Syracuse where he died surrounded by his family.

He hid it well. very well.

Not sure we're going to get the big MLFN ride off like we did last year. That was fun. Even if we did split up, get lost, wind up with AD and JC and me, heck BG nearly killed us all at one point... but it was a beautiful day, a great ride, good friends.  Life, a graduation, final game of the season, work, birthdays, anniversaries, rehearsals, running races, culmination peformances father's day...  all that started on Sunday and won't stop for a while...

But maybe I need to take a page from my wife's book of philosophy. Why do you need to have so much emphasis on one day, one ride, when every day, every ride, can be in his memory.

It is true. Every smack down ride is a MLFN ride. Even if it is on the east side route.

Every day is a gift. He treated it as such. It was that spring (2009) one of those rides May 19th to be exact, my spokes broke on the Vector Pros. couldn't ride. Started walking, didn't have my phone with me, Mark gave me his iPhone, Brier called in his coworker who lived in the area, got me back to his office and I drove the green monster van home. A collection of wonderful efforts by friends to bail out me and my busted bike.

I got there and woke him up the next morning, he had bailed on going to work, spent the day at home in bed, but at least with his phone.

So we ride, I ride, in his memory. Every week.

But lets at least take a few moments on the 11th of June every year to if nothing else, reflect on what an amazing human being he was, and how he beat every single odd stacked in his favor and lived the fullest life a full four years longer than 99% of the people who are diagnosed with that specific cancer at the stage he was diagnosed at.  Glioblastoma multiforme (GBM)...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glioblastoma_multiforme

scattered thoughts today...

But that coffee thing,

let's get coffee, always is weighted a bit more for me than some people realize. I missed coffee with Mark...

I also missed a ride with Sheldon Brown, but that's a different story...

time to start getting everything in order for the smackdown...

heddwch
G

best idea? maybe not

one of those days....  started off w/just coffee, a ride in to the office via the remote facility. Holy crap talk about weird traffic. Nuts. Like elevated over the regular PVD crazy. Heading back some little angry dude in shorts was yelling at a delivery truck driver in the middle of rush hour on Memorial BLVD and wow, people laughing, he's droping fucking every other word, asking the delivery truck driver if he's a fucking asshole, I'm thinking "no dude there's only one asshole removing all doubt from the crowds walking to work."

Traffic was already backed up all the way past the Court House on College. That hill kind of messed up the 'no cortisol induction day' on the bike. Woops. Oh well.

Made coffee, feeling hungry. head to first optometrist appointment ever. sit around there waiting FOREVER, man...  crazy day there too, lots of emergencies and patients taking way longer than normal. Doc stopped in twice to appologize. No worries I get it. Chilling.

Back here - eat salad (that's what was in the fridge for lunch when i left this am), the ride back was nuts too.  more coffee and now that i have a break in the insanity here at work i'm writing to distract the brain.

I suppose part of what I'm doing is making sure I keep the fat burning engine somewhat tuned up. Thinking about it a bit riding.  Mostly in the perspective regarding insulin and the comparison to training. People spend all day eating sugar, triggering the insulin pathway right from the get go. Sugar being availible in the blood stream and fat being targeted for storage rather than fuel source, the type 1 muscles all saying fuck the fatty acids I ain't got time for that, that's work, look at all this sugar.

Like training to be fast on the bike...  you don't do it, you can't do it. Gotta get those muscles to burn fat. Coffee elevates fatty acid levels in the blood stream w/o trigging insulin. After waking up your glycogen stores are at the highest level, and generally, esp someone my size, you have ample glycogen to fuel the fat burning mechanism.

Gotta train the muscles.

Look at the kids now, constantly given piles of sugars (over-arching group of all sources grains/potatoes/candy/sugarwater) no breaks, no periods where they have to develop muscles that have to learn to burn the fat. And they get fat. or they get soft and squishy, maybe not fat.

Hungry? Oh no, don't let them be hungry at all. Noooo feed them. Always. Here's a snack. Have a snack. do you have enough snacks? eat...

Training their brains to never accept and tolerate hunger as well as never pushing their muscles to burn a more efficient fuel source.

Now...  fat burning is great. muscles do really well with it. Much better than trying to use protein as a fuel source, but heres the deal. Those fast twitch sprinter muscles? they're good until you're out of glycogen. Then you're done with them. Can't make those burn fat. BUT you can make the rest of them more efficient. This is the key the LCHF folks don't seem to be focusing on. The runners, the marathoners, they're going gang busters, no need for fuel or food intake for a half marathon. Makes sense. on board glycogen topped up will easily burn stored fat for a long time. Esp if you're fat adapted and it is much healthier (assuming good balance of complex fats with veggies and stuff). But you still need a balance in the middle somewhere for sprinting, and specifically cyclocross. That's a glycogen intensive musclular classsification... i have a lot of lean muscle...  doesn't do me a whole lot of good but still doesn't change the fact that at 195 even at 10% BF (probably under that but between 7-10 so going with 10) that's a lot of lean muscle mass...  pain in the ass...  requires more food (most of the time) also means I have more reserves.


anyway... thoughts...  hunger induced maybe? Maybe. Not really though. they've been floating around for a while.

I'll get closer to more refined and simple theory for the complexity that is optimal fueling and nutrition...  comes around to the point though, manage your insulin spikes, try to get most of your basal metabolic calories from high quality complex fats and add carbs based on amount of intense exercise and you'd be close.

but yeah...  a fast is a good idea now and then...  not sure it is the best idea between a tower hill loop day that was way under caloried and tuesday night smackdown...  but hey... i gotta be a dumbass to balance out this fake smartness...

heddwch
g

continuing the remembering of Ezra/Fastboy

I've been watching one food video every other day since hearing of his passing...
http://fastboycycles.com/food

Today the post went up on the teaching cancer to cry...

http://www.teachingcancertocry.com/?p=2076

I have been sharing his story for quite some time now I guess...

I've been following his art and craft for much longer though...

Flickr 2005

To be honest while that peice is complete and paints the picture of him... it doesn't feel like him. I wonder how he would have written that, I don't think he did, doesn't read like his style. Maybe it is best that he didn't. too many stories to tell, too much to write down...

Words and art...

Ezra was no Maya

Cole Haan "Maya Angelou (Director's Cut)" from Ben Hughes on Vimeo.
but Ezra had a way of communicating that was inspirational... a similar charasmatic humorous command of communicating that engaged and bouyed his audience, one can't imagine what his legacy would have been if not for that cancer

reflective times I suppose...

I need the right moment I think to really flesh out my feelings, and his influence...

it is closer now maybe than before, but still gathering thoughts and feelings...

perhaps a day off, a day on the bike, will be the effective catalyst

life goes on for the rest of us left behind, as it always does

heddwch
G

Getting there

The legs, they feel maybe better. Solobreak wasn't right but he was close. Probably take another two weeks before I feel ok on the smackdown ride, but this past tuesday wasn't terrible. Granted I still got dropped pretty much every hill, but I'm a big fatso right now, CX isn't for a while right?

We had a great turn out though. A big portion of the club showed up (probably because we were all headed over to Dr Flat's after for beers and protein on the grill). After big Anton flatted it was just PVC. If Kyle had actually worn the kit it would have been an 8 man TTT a nice mix of the white and black kits, soon we'll have the new color to toss in there... Good ride though.

Recovery seems pretty good, very good compared to a few others, but then maybe I wasn't working as hard or something. Felt at the limit most of the time on the hills and missing some top end but maybe I can see it coming around.


Boring blah blah blah...  I'd write how Morse and Andrew and Fox kept trading body blows but that gets boring after a while and is predictable. I didn't win any sprint lines, but had a good ride and the legs hurt a bit the next day. So we're making progress.

He is gone... but not forgotten

An inspiration - from that first moment on Flickr when we connected.

http://ezracaldwell.com/

http://www.teachingcancertocry.com/

http://fastboycycles.com/

http://instagram.com/p/ocAsv0rAXx/

It has been a roller coaster journey...  one that got quiet the last month or so...

I have been checking daily, looking for an update...

then saw Jenny's post on G+

didn't want to see that post...

where to i start?

obviously not now beyond this, other than to say I'm gutted, this is painful, expected? given his choice and progression expected yes, but no easier...

last week I was thinkingi about Ezra, hoping he was pulling a micracle MLFN and defying the odds beyond all reconning...

Now i'm sitting here at the kitchen table crying

wrtiing the best i can

which is terribly not at all

a loss very much

an inspiration

in craft, in art, in movement, in bicycles, in photography, in food

someone who was very much steeped in the black and white aesthetic

who pedaled... who created... who cooked...

I will write more soon...  for now...  i can't much...

still riding

I hope maybe if i have the grace and luck to have grandkids they are able to make a movie like this about me



Portrait of my grandfather : 80 and still cycling from Florent Piovesan on Vimeo.

radish greens - come on magic

The shorter east route smackdown is on tonight (vs the western one that's longer and stuff). And well last week the radish greens didn't help with the legs, okay, not true, they helped keep me in contact until Prospect, but beyond that? pfft. Nope. zippo.

But in the name of science and gastronomy I am having them for breakfast again.

Radishes are a popular lunch snack in these here parts, and I love the greens and buying them is usually about finding the best looking TOPS in the pile of organic radishes. Does a few things, first fresher selection and second THE GREENS ARE SO YUMMY.

May have to be Hobbitish and follow up first breakfast with post commute breakfast, but starting the day with a fried egg topped with melty habanero cheese (it is on sale at WF again, just like last year, good spicey yummy cheese) a thin slice of fried ham and a giant mount of radish greens. And some salt. Because, you know, salt.

Second breakfast may or may not include a few chocolate croisants.

Because post ride pastries with coffee...  does it get better? Maybe. Better when shared post ride, but i have two small ones and am riding alone so ALL MINE.

Tonight heading out though. Legs? We'll see. May be hanging with the B split, but that's okay. Should be a nice evening to suffer on the bike.

Baby steps. We'll see who shows though. We'll see who shows.

Last night did something pretty cool, stuck an SEM sample holder rig on the bike. Facing forward to catch airborne particulate (and hopefully some pollen). Figureed if the bike is turning green there's gotta be something in the air. Why not collect it and see what exactly is in the air.

Collected a bit of stuff last night, going to stick a fresh new one on for the ride in and maybe while the service engineer is fixing the confocal I can get a few minutes on the scanning electron microscope to check this out. As excited to see what is on the stub (the thing that you put the samples into the microscope on - stub is like a slide for the SEM), I'm more intriqued to see if there is any difference between last night and this morning.

Rig looks like this:

and after the ride you can see stuff on it here:

So repeating this AM, heck maybe I should put one on for the smackdown...

Found a good stack of old prints from senior year in college...  would be funny to re-do the shots, esp the one with Erik Jerry me and Lum.

Finishi it up with two links about food and YOUR health. Because I care [too much] about other people.

Link #1 for the medical and nutritional professionals:
http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1871695

Link #2 for everyone (not a copy of the above but it is NYT)
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/18/opinion/sunday/always-hungry-heres-why.html?_r=1

heddwch
G

podcasts

I don't listen to many of them, mostly because I prefer to hear myself talking. No not really mostly I prefer to read, words. Quickly and what not. Saves time. Mostly because most people talk to slowly. Or should I say talk at a slow pace to aid the slow listener (or just because they are forming words in head at a slow pace and that's just how it comes out) I dunno, i'm just speculating of course.

Point being I don't usually have time to sit and listen. Pausing all the time because I deal with daily interuptions is a pain. I can read, leave it up deal with the issue, come back to reading right where i was or re-read a bit sometimes to catch back into the topic. Podcasts seem to demand some uninterupted attention.

Like driving in a car, or sitting on public transport where you're just idle and reading may not be the easiest way to absorb information. Or painting maybe. Doing something or nothing but where reading isn't possible/desirable.

That's not how my life is set up right now. So I don't listen to them.

Saguache Crescent ... a short film

can't link it directly i guess but check it out
http://zwfilm.com/work/creative-leadership

the one on the Saguache Crescent (currently the first one there)

still printed, same way it has always been... some content gets recycles as he needs to make it fit or fill but it is there and still gets published and printed and distributed...

My dad's pretty proud of it, a copy sits on every table at the 4th street diner there in Saguache.

give it a watch, it is a pretty cool thing, happening in a pretty damn amazing part of this country.

dropped on prospect

that's a first. never happened before.

Maybe i was a bit ambitions leading for a while riding and talking with PKS a bit past the turn off onto woodward from 152 was too long maybe, but damn that's like just getting warmed up...  turned over onto prospect and the lanky Morse cranked up the tempo, pulled off, big Anton took over and kept drilling it David B was the first to get gapped, claims it was from the Jay Woo kid yo-yo'ing him, i think he's much like me, just out of shape, he gapped, BDub joined him and I tried to hank on the wheels of PKS and the Morse but pretty much only made it 100 yards further than the two...   At the turn onto Broad/Jacob I could see two groups, the Anton Andrew adn Will group and the gapped but closing group of PKS Morse and Fox.

And from there on it wasn't an easy ride but it was a good ride with friends.

Fitness is gone as can be expected. Radish greens in your breakfast sandwich don't create fitness.

And it was cold, well not cold but between the wind, the lack of sun it certainly felt colder than the 50 reported. Got back to the office with an empty and distracting stomach to collect the bag only to have to turn around and head up to help sort out a car issue. Dead battery, race home so i could head back in to gather the kids and grab them dinner if roadside assistance took too long to show. But they showed up just as I was walking out the door. I was very thankful I didn't have to battle a headwind home and that i could get in the shower and warm up. I probably should have put that baselayer on in addition to the arm and knee warmers.

It isn't a surprise to find this lack of oomph, but it is a bit dis-heartening, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation kind of lacking. But i guess it is May, going to take this old diesel a long time to get even close to being up to temp and ready to make some torque for 45-50, so really not much choice but to button down and maybe do what I know i need to. Not easy really...  heck i haven't really even gone for a run in over a month. So much for fast 5k goal.

Lots to sort out

heddwch
G

perfect fried chicken?

Maybe not but it was pretty fantastic.

There was a definite lack of enthusiasm when my wife and oldest got home from a long run and ballet respectively upon hearing what I'd made for dinner. They walked in the door and asked "what did you make?" My reply of mashed potatoes, fried chicken and collard greens wasn't well recieved.

But I guess it is is probably nice to get home to find someone made you dinner no matter what it is.

The concept is super boring and lame and so american that it is cliche and man who wants that?

I was looking for something different too cook, Chicken was on sale last time I was at the wholefoods place so I bought a pile of it and used it in the meals for the past few days, a chicken stir-fry with peanuts, followed by some black beans, rice and topped with dry rub marinated diced chicken, and last night this classic of classics.

Best to keep them all simple. Potatoes just sliced and boiled russets, skins on, mashed with butter, olive oil, milk, salt and pepper and some powerderd sage. Simple.  Collards? de-ribbed, cut into 2-3cm squares, sauteed in olive oil with a couple cloves of garlic a splash of soy sauce and some balsalmic vinegar.

the chicken? simple is best still.

breast, rinsed and set between papertowels to make sure they are totally dry.

one egg beaten in a bowl

panko bread crumbs, salt, pepper, powdered sage in another bowl

in a flat skillet equal parts bacon rendering and olive oil. just below the smoke point...

coat breast in egg wash, then cover in the bread crumb mix

put in oil/fat (should be a few millimeters deep in the pan)

turn down the heat a touch. cook for a bit, flip, cook till finished, remove and let rest on a rack in the oven at 200°F until all of the chicken is cooked (don't crowd the pan, one or two breasts per pan)

That's it.

The "dry" white meat breasts were moist and delicios and the flavors were simple but each ingredient was able to shine, the potatoes tasted like potatoes, the chicken was a moist and chickeny tasting bit of chicken and the pile of collards offered a good bit of umami to tie it all together.  Served with a bit of german mustard to add a minor note of heat and flavor without masking anything and the simplest of simple was elevated.

Cooking takes practice. It is a skill. Something you have to do, but it does start with basic ingredients, use good stuff and you'll be rewarded. It can take time too. Time that is well worth spending even if you are only cooking for yourself.

eat well
G

pedaling again

thoughts not processing the same anymore...

too much change? too much use of twitter and G+ and even dipping a toe back in the like happy faceplant? I dunno...

strong desire to write about the trip to colorado is not intersecting with motivation inspiration and time.

trying to get those all to line up is definitely not easy right now. back in the bike shop again isn't so much using more time it is just keeping me more active and with less free time and somewhat more stressed about some stuff. Scheduling has been a challenge, but i guess now after still being burried last week from the trip i'm sort of coming up for air, 

yesterday was one of those days that just felt opressively hot on the bike but it was just barely over 70. Kind of funny how a season of riding outside skews perceptions. It was nice indeed. Sweating wasn't a big deal. The big deal and frustrating system shock is the sudden increase in 'traffic' on the bike path. Now instead of being me and the regular walkers and joggers, those of us who recogonize each other as we pass each other most every day. A familiar recognition between strangers that aren't quite strangers. 

I think we're all a bit shocked, the regular walkers and the bike commuters. These new users perterb the system. They walk or run on the wrong side of the path (despite heavy signage) they have headphones in and turned up and tune out the amazing surrondings.  They are escaping when they should be embracing their surroundings. If you want to run obliviously go play in traffic. The dog walkers carrying their 20' retractable leashes as their dog runs around sniffing everything on the path randomly off leash. The same ones who look like you just pooped on their shoe when you remind them that there is a 6' leash law in this town. The kids riding barely put together NEXT branded kids bikes trying to keep up with or stay w/in sight of their running/walking parent, not sure of what to do when I pass. 

Every year. I know it is coming and just look forward to the breaks I get when the weather gets inclimate. When it rains. When people are afraid of the out doors because the 'weather' is bad. 

I just wish my front fender hadn't died this winter in dramatic fashion. I should maybe replace it one of these days. I should. I should rely on more than the clip on planet bike fender Bob handed out to the team at 2009 nationals in Bend. I rolled up to the start not realzing i had it still attached. Anne Spaede was there at the start So i handed it to her and said to keep it, she brought it back to the tent and well... I still have it and am using it now when the weather turns all wet. 

At least the seagulls have moved on to easier food than the bivalves. The carpet bombing season is over, we're now dealing with the Canada geese grazing on the grass along the path and shitting all over the place. From one obstacle to another. Busted shells to shit. Plus all the people. 

But man as "rough" as the bike commute gets it still beats driving and trying to park and the anxiety of the car that is gonna turn to iron oxide powder underneath me one of these days.

Juggling everything. Is a challenge.

Life.

Sport.

Writing.

Art.

Work.

Love.

Kids.

Life.

All while balancing on a slack line called health.

Going to try and test the measure of my lack of fitness tonight on the ride. We'll see who shows up, and we'll see who I wind up riding with. Where will i slot in, in the heirarchy of fitness and speed, on our little PVD smackdown ride. Our own version of tuesday night world championships.

Another in progress project is sorting through photos and trying to decide on a handful to offer up in a limited number run sale. What I have sort of tentatively decided on is 10 images. printed in two size runs, 16x12 and 32x24, no more than 10 copies (flexible i suppose, if 100 people want one of them I could change it up) still to be decided: price and which files to do.

Still need to ride up to Firefly and get a bit of weld bead to image on the scope, that's needed for maybe something happening in a couple months. 

Life though seems to find a way of disrupting plans I make. That's my theme I guess. Getting a little better at managing the dissapointment.

maybe

fod yn rhyfeddol

g

changes... and breathing

not much here other than I've run out of time to write when I'm inspired or lacking motivation/catalyst to write when I have the time.

I appologize.

who would have thought this would still be active 10 years after I started it.

The title really isn't significant of any one particular instance i guess, but covers lots of things.

pickled eggs? sure why not

******update dated below*********
original written on 2014/04/22

I've got 16 hard boiled eggs, am leaving for a week, those who are staying don't eat them...

might as well give it a try. saw the recipe show up here:
http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/recipe/pickled-eggs over on G+

and thought it sounded good.  HK over at S&B tweeted about it, and well i had a minute this afternoon to peel a quart jar full of eggs and pour a bring over them and stick em in the back of the fridge.

Brine i used:

1/2 cup seasoned rice vinegar (all i had)
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar (unfiltered 365 organic stuff)
1/4 cup balsalmic vinegar ('cause recipie called for all vinegar and i needed total two cups of liquid)
brought that up to 2 cups with water

popped in stainless pan. added 1/3 cup sugar
2 tablespoons of sea salt
1 tsp spoon: black peppercorns, mustard seed, fennel seed, dill seed

brought to boil to dissolve sugar and salt.

turned off (still peeling eggs)

filled bell jar up with eggs, poured liquid over them.

popped em in the back of the fridge. will check em when i return from Colorado next week.

and yes...  hoping to get back to normal writing, hoping to get back to normal RIDING, may have a story or two to write about over this next week and maybe time to do it in.  for now. I'm around, cooking, thinking, living...  Life.

it is what it is... food... you are what you eat. eat good food...
fod yn rhyfeddol
g

TASTING UPDATE 2014-04-30
Tried one yesterday morning. And then one this morning.
The texture is odd at first. The white is very firm. They aren't juicy or dripping like a pickle and I think i need to tweak the recipe next time. the eggs got a bit smaller, the parts that i didn't get the membrane off stayed white but the others turned a nice mahogany brown from the balsalmic v. I would like to try these without adding any sugar next time or just with the sweetness from the seasoned vinegar, maybe just with white vinegar or cider or rice. Lots of options to change it all up. They aren't unpleasant, but they are weird, and not what I'd call delicious. I could see these going really well on a salad though. They would pair brilliantly in small bites with a good balsalmic mustard vinegrette, thinking about the flavor I think that is the perfect thing try next.
Will I do another batch? Probably at some point...  not before these are gone though.

the club ride april 8th edition

Today XP is dead. Long live XP and down with microsoft..

awe who'mi kidding, that's a joke. A bad one. Written not on a microsoft anything. I think it maye be time to figure out how to instal some linux stuff, on a few boxes that have been decom'd recently (old XP clunkers) just for "fun/challenge."

until a week or two ago my work machine was XP. Been on that OS and maintaining it for a while at least maintaining systems that employ a XP OS based computer as the primary UI for the microscope and a platform for the software. Looks like we're actually going to be all Win 7 there too, a few key upgrades even, kind of exciting in a way. But as always over the years, there are two things that give me more headaches than anything else. Vacations and Upgrades (hardware or software). With so many systems though hey, we should be set for a while.

didn't really start out to write about some OS thing that everyone has talked about and known about for a while.

the OS didn't really factor into any of the riding today. Riding in in the deluge. Chatting with Chapman and Madden this afternoon. and then the tuesday night club ride. the 'baby-smackdown' baby because it is the shorter of the two routes. The longer one is the one Mark Nicholson himself laid out and so while his traddition of smacking it down in PVD carries on, daylight issues got us doing this shorter route that Derdowski was instramental in plotting and planning.

Tonight, like last week, 9 guys showed up.  A couple more faster guys than last week. A kid in a capo kit came out to duke it with Tim and Morse and Syl and Dr Flats Anton Fox and for a while Tom N. Tom bade us farewell as we motored into the wind on Prospect, and that dropped us to 8...  two pretty distinct factions Pine separated us into two, Me (still feeling pretty weak and not all there but way better than last week) Fox who hasn't been on his bike since November if then (okay i think he rode on Sunday maybe for a little bit) and Greve. Couple big guys and Fox. The 5 gapped us going over the top of pine, but like last week with derdowski me and greve we settled in to a quick and buttery smooth rotating paceline and caught back on before they had gotten too far down Homestead. Super smooth today though. Guys all pulling no one looking around. Good steady strong ride. At least from my seat back in the caboose.

As the ride leader I set the tempo out to the first turn off 152. Today there were plenty of cars on the shoulder so there was no sprint for the State line. Everyone was on the same page about not sprinting for the town lines either.  It was clean and mostly club members all looking to beat each other up on the bike.

After I set that initial pace that was it. Survival mode. Legs were suspect. I'd eaten better today (more calories at least) but first day on after 4 days off and battling some issue with a glute or nerve or something, so from then till the rotating paceline I was in the back, chillin. No brakes rolling along smoooth. It is cool to watch Anton improve. Last year he was flailing and couldn't hang on, now he's still not the strongest but he's much smoother and is riding well. His saddle is almost level now even.

We caught back on, and immediately me and Fox went into tail gunner mode. Hang the fuck on but let everyone else rotate through in front. They were taking long pulls and when we got close to the top of Rocky hill the Doc took OFF and crushed it. I just tried to survive. And was back in the group almost right away after the end of Rocky Hill. A success so far. Next up Hillside. Sucking wheels, sucking wheels sucking wheels sucking wheels. I mean sitting in the draft.  With guys like Doc and Steve and Anton and Tim there were good drafts to be found. Both in the steady comfortable sit on their wheel draft but also a big fucking hole in the wind kind of draft. I learned in michigan how to find the draft behind a 4'11" Carla and have like most of y'all found a way to benefit from any sort of draft even if it is just sheltering your lower half.

Hillside. Oof. Hung with the whole group through to first rise only to just lose contact as it crested a touch, dug deep and chased but not hard enough and could only just keep them in sight. Killed myself over the top and had Anton Fox and Greve spread out behind me but just up the road were two groups. Over the top of pine i could see them coming together faster than I was going to be able to catch them and we have the high speed motor section coming up. Not gonna catch them. But I also rather than totally soft pedaled just waited for the rest. Re-grouped and Drilled it. Picked up Syl on the way. Chased Anton who had passed me with the goal to try and catch the others. Was good.

Legs felt pretty trashed. Still no where near where i want to be or hoped to be but no need to be. The new knee alignment is affecting things a bit but it will come around and feels better, hopefully should be able to capitalize on that by CX season. Headed back to the office. Loaded up the wet clothes and the wet shoes into the trailer and headed home into the wind.

Into a cold wind.

Like small chainring going slow wind. Didn't feel at all hungry or bonky until i was a few hundred yards from home.

Got home, hung out with the girls, tucked them in, and sat down to get this ride out of my head and into words.

How was the ride? It was awesome. It was good. I needed that. Weekly ride survives. A brief moment of crushing it. I may be getting old and I never will be anything but slow, but it is good to ride with the club.

Now if we could just get Doc to ditch those hideous old lady POC glasses...

fod yn rhyfeddol
g

the release of riding

happens a lot on the bike, but mostly noticable if i haven't been on the bike in a couple days.

This morning was the first time back in the saddle since Thursday.

Was raining. HARD at times, and had been for a bit. Flood advisory and all. Good and wet.

Still headed in, tempting to keep the routine of getting in the car though. It was calling me. I could feel the easiness of just getting dressed, starting the car and driving in, dealing with parking headaches, moving the car, driving and walking in the rain. All that, seemed easy.

But i didn't. plopped everything in the trailer in a garbage bag (stays drier in there that way than on my back). And headed in...

Almost the first moment this popped in my head. No not haiku. Just a wee little poem in a way i guess.

Rain drops. Cold on face. Water splashing off down tube. Into shoes. Slosh and squish with each pedal stroke. Quads warm with effort. Fabulous

was a good ride this morning.

couple it with the free association from Resultsboy's pondering about just how artificial grass is into thinking about Bill Niering's house and how much of an impact/influence he had into the thoughts about fire managed areas, plains and grasslands and ecology and environment and the different ecosystems and where you do find grass... into the thought that golf courses are the least natural natural areas, and somehow the phrase about cycling being the new golf (all the rich old guys taking up the sport aka a million Cat 5 fields at Batttenkill all a pile of middle aged men)...

Lead me to float this question:

If cycling is the new golf when do we get to turn all the golf courses into permanent CX venues?

Cinci and L'ville are former golf courses, now perma CX venues.

Hey forget all of them, just give us 25% of them. The hilliest ones. Would be great. I think. Someday maybe...  Set up sled runs for the winter. Short course MTB or BMX in summer, CX in Fall Winter until season is over.  money. takes money. lots of it. everything does.

but we can dream no?
we can dream...

fod yn rhyfeddol
g

chana saag ala G

So i made this once before...  this is going to be different but hey the nice thing with making indian food is just you just keep adding the right spices until it smells right.

Saag is simple. Super simple.

aromatics in the pan, add spinnach, stirr, season, cover

eat

GeWillies aka Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies

I've written plenty about these cookies, compiled the nutritional information as best as I can w/o submitting a sample to a testing lab.

I've made these, but finally dug down and focused on the recipe as a repeatable recipe, no GeWilli tweaking.

Need to make these the same every time. Four batches ago = perfect, three batches ago? not so much, no idea what I messed up.  Can't have that.

So with my little one, my kitchen helper and taster we went through this. She measured precisely (with supervision) and we made a batch, and I made notes.

And then we made a second batch. It was the same.

Phew.

Got it.

Now, I need to make another batch because the second is gone. I had them made for the March Century with Russ. Ate them for the ride. So good. Easy to eat. No they aren't rice cakes but they do have a good sustain as fuel for me. And I can't seem to get tired of eating them, and the best food/fuel on the bike is one you eat.

These are cookies...

you know how to make cookies right?

1 cup butter (2 sticks)
290 g fresh ground whole foods organic peanut butter (just peanuts)
1 cup brown sugar (~169grams)
1/2 cup white sugar (~101grams)
2 tsp vanilla extract (just vanilla + alcohol, no HFCS or preservatives)

Put those in mixer with paddle attachment and cream until smooth

while that's spinning put 1 table spoon of ground flax in 3 tablespoons of water (mix regularly for at least 2 minutes or longer)

Dry ingredients, mix together:
1.5 cup unbleached organic white flour
1 cup organic whole wheat flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp salt (increase salt for summer heat)

Add one egg to the butter and sugar mix completely
add half of the dry mix to and blend
add the second egg
mix
add the flax and water
mix
add the rest of the dry ingredients

keep mixing till incorporated

Now you can scoop and make little tradditional circular peanut butter pressed drop cookies.

OOOOOR

what i've been doing the last few batches...  gonna hold off on that secret for a while.

but hey... here's the cookies...

vetted

oh - right...

cook at 350F for 15-25 minutes

when they are cooked and come out they will be brittle... let them cool on the baking sheet for 5+ minutes before transfering to a wire rack to cool the rest of the way down.

cookies
chocolate peanut butter cookies
mmm
cookies

(they make really good ice cream sandwich cookies)

Gallois Poireau Potage Parmentier avec le Bacon, aka My Welsh Leek Potato Soup

Wait what? Why use a french name for a Welsh soup?

Well... call it GeWilli fusion... and it is still really mostly the french soup, just using the whole Welsh Leek, greens included.

Bacon? Well yes, duh.

I'm writing it down as maybe perhaps winter is wrapping up soon and soups will take a break from the rotation until the fall and even then though I've made it a few times in the last couple months I always forget what I do.

My [not so] Little kid is hanging out helping me cook tonight while the Runner is running while the older one is wrapped up in her thing, and this is something that is both quick and long and prep is simple and it leaves time to make Pizza dough for tomorrow night, and get the rest of the stuff done. Soup is nice. Easy.

So many possible substitutions to make things work. No stock? No big deal. Use water. Or if you want quick veggie stock? Put part of an onion, some carrot, celery, any veggie you got laying around maybe some mushroom, bring it to a boil and simmer till you need it. That's it. Stock.

I've got a bit of chicken stock in the freezer so I pulled out a quart of that for the soup tonight.

But here's the process and breakdown of the ingredients in:
Gallois Poireau Potage Parmentier avec le Bacon

6 oz of uncured bacon diced before cooking (i use Trader Joes ends and bits pack, i'm dicing it up before cooking no need to cut perfect strips up, also waaaaaay cheaper and just as yummy)
(start this rendering in the stock pot while prepping the next two ingredients)
2 large leeks carefully cleaned (greens and all) and chopped into 2cm bits
3-4# russet potatoes diced into 1-2cm cubes, no more than half of them peeled

when the diced bacon is crispy remove it with a slotted spoon and save for garnish (try not to eat it all before the soup is ready).

Add the leeks (i like the greens in it, makes for a pleasant color to the soup and has lots of flavor and also no wasting) to the bacon fat and toss at med high heat (below smoke point) until wilted and brilliant green.

Add in the potatoes, mix, add a few teaspoons of salt.

Put in 1 quart of homemade chicken stock (sub as on hand, quick veggie stock or water is acceptable)

Add water until everything is swimming easily (should be able to move spoon through without too much effort)...  bring to boil, then turn down to simmer.

As it is cooking add 1 tsp dijon (i use the 365 brand organic stuff) mustard, a little more salt, lots of black pepper, a wiff of extra hot cayenne power, and most importantly some sage.

Sage with the bacon and potato make this kind of the perfect savory umami in my opinion.

Once cooked use an immersion blender and make it all creamy. Adjust seasoning (i usually wind up having to add more salt and more black pepper).

Set heat to super low and add some whole milk and a bit of heavy cream just to balance out the flavor.

Then a final taste, heck ask everyone to taste it, more salt (hopefully yes more salt and not TOO SALTY is their response) and serve with some of the bacon crumbled on top.

if too salt, just serve with extra water, no harm with too much salt.

That's it.  The big departure from the classic is using the bacon and rendering and adding the sage. I probably would have used a cup of heavy cream, but with the milk and the couple tablespoons i had on hand it was quite accetably yummy.

Grab your bowl and curl up next to the wood stove and put some music on and relax.


simple...  well, i manage to make even the simplest soup complex, and timing is pretty key but you know what? All this little things I do with the food... it works. Maybe while the kid and I are hanging and talking about cooking and eating the cooking we need to write up the cookie recipe.

fod yn rhyfeddol
G

that was unintentional (warning: CATCHALLPOST)

So much to write about last week and did I?

Nope.

So much happened.

Longest week of the year mileage wise.  Thanks in part to an all day ride with Russ, I was going to link his blog report here but I feel better...  mostly because he hasn't either.

dogma and diet...

yeah yeah yeah... shut up already gewilli...  good luck with that

Here's a good review of Taubes' book:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beyond-apples/201011/are-we-getting-nutrition-all-wrong 
"We've been told for years that the American "meat and potatoes" diet is what's killing us. But now an increasingly vocal group of experts is suggesting that it isn't the meat but rather the potatoes that are doing us harm. In the end, I'm not sure what the right answer is, but what I do know is that the chance that we are getting nutrition wrong is too important for us to ignore."

I've always maintained for years...  forever...  the problem with an american breakfast isn't the eggs or bacon or sausage, but the orange juice, toast, syrupy pancakes and hashbrowns/potatoes.  That's the bigger problem, for your heart and for your waistline, and as plenty of people are documenting there are far too many excersice addicted people who are skinny but insulin resistant (not a  good thing).

Bottom line it seems is the science is there to counter the low fat dogma, and well, look where it has gotten us. 


---  caveate/disclaimer

there's a place for all the foods and stuffs, adding in carbs is fine if you can tolerate them, they are used primarily for fuel for specific types of exercise...  

there's room for vegans in this and i'm not jumping on the taubes' bandwagon or the Noakes one either, just that they've ammassed some solid data. science. data that isn't pseudo science.

The lwo fat fad is killing people, literally. When you look at the medical science there was no unequivocal basis for the low fat 'reccomendations' 

anyway...  skim milk, cheerios, peice of toast and some orange juice...  perfect breakfast

to kill your pancrease

icy

So today...  oof.

Started off with of course the weather change.

First Smackdown of 2014 in the books

First effort in the legs since, probably Day 1 Supercup Cross. Day 2 in NY wasn't an effort, more of a just ride in circles.  Definitely should have just stayed in Bed at the Hotel until it was warmer than single digits. Car would have been happier starting and I could have avoided that embarassment and maybe not have been so tired I didn't see the tree and wouldn't have crashed and might have been able to race Sterling and NBX.

But hey. At that moment, getting out of bed seemed to be the right thing to do. Hindsight eh?

Why counting calories alone will never work to be healthy

Again C. Todd comes up with another great find.

I agree, the system has failed people.

Steel Cut Oats for breakfast

an item of oft ridicule by many in #NECX
"you start cooking them at night?" HAHAHAHA

SO MUCH WORK.

Well where are we now...

Off the bike since a snow ride on Saturday. Two big snow storms have worked to make sure the bike path stays impassable, I'm not even sure this warm up and rain we are having/hope to have will be enough to clear it by Monday when I'm back on the bike and the temps are forecast to plunge back to walk in deep freezer mode. Might be worth the attempted slog though just in the name of science and exploration and fun and pure brutal torture.

I did manage to get out for a short run on Tuesday. That's the extent of exercise though other than core work shoveling snow. It is total ice world out there now. I got out for the run as the snow was falling. there was almost an inch of snow on the ground when I went out. Footing wasn't too bad except where the snow was on top of ice. And it was a wet snow that kept packing up in the sole of the shoes making for odd pressure points at times. Managed though juts a short run with a decently/acceptable steady pace. I think I figured out a good use for the Obree breathing method. Usually on the bike other than in a full out TT I feel a bit over oxygenated or whatever it is when you get light headed from breathing way more than you need. Running though? the rythmn is odd but it actually seems to work well.  But still like anything when fatigue sets in I tend to find my self back to breathing in sync with footfalls.

It has been an interseting week. Kid 1 got sick to start vacation week, totally undermined any of her plans and changed the rest of ours (mine). But catching up on the house has been good. Outside projects have to wait till the snow melts and the ground thaws, but maybe we'll have this place ready for company by the weekend, or at least before we all go back on Monday.

Got another installment up on the Two Cone Wrenches and a Megaphone column. Gotta remember to put a link on the sidebar or something. Also need to start working on the next topic. Anyone have a commuter opinion peice suggestion? Going to save the commuting in the rain for later in the spring.

This morning Geo S (Battenkill 2007 or 2008) also former BRC Junior, now expat in some southern hemisphere country posted a link to an article this morning.  A long story in the New Yorker.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2014/02/10/140210fa_fact_aviv?currentPage=all

my G+ comments on the subject:
"Worthwhile and important reading. Long but good. Well written long form stories are rare in the world of buzzfeed snippets and 140 character news stories.

The topic is important, for everyone. Not just science types.

I learned a very long time ago to always look at the acknowledgements in a scientific paper first. Determine bias of funding.

Cyclists will remember the chocolate milk as recovery drink study? Paid for by Dairy Industry. The findings alone should have been enough to make anyone doubt the much trumpeted public media support for choco milk. Small anecdote.

But bias and ethics, very important in STEM (a term everyone is tossing around now - to me that's a Scanning Transmission Electron Microscope - not Science Technology Engineering Math)."

Heck pick orange juice. I think the Florida Orange Juice growers associations must have G-ride and G-david on payroll to constantly attack me with taunts and bullying when ever I bring up OJ on twitter or anywhere (it is a joke guys but if you ARE getting industry kick backs, share the cash love, or at least give me a commission).

I'm going to try and get back to regular writing here...  But not going to force it. AKA same as always.

Last week was a perfect week. 5 days of work 5 days of riding the bike. First one i think. All the driving the kids and Dr appts and everything seems to have taken at least one day a week since the start of the new year.

Plans for an all day ride today have dissolved. Roads are a disaster number one and two sick kid and work are keeping me here. Plenty of plans though, ideas. Even entertained Morse's Blackstone Blvd century idea. 29 or so laps of the Blvd. It might be something worth trying to do soon though. That or less of a mental challenge: 100 miles on Pine, Homestead, perryville, broad/jacob...  little loop in Rehoboth maybe, still laps and elevation. Or do a flatter loop from 152, brown, pine, read (or walker)... Ideas. Goals. We'll see.

Other goals. Finish getting the Nanoscape catalog together. And get a list of prints to offer up for sale. Not just sort of off hand for sale but like list them and all that. I've started a nanoscape FB page, to go with the tumblr and twitter accounts. All mostly linked together. The Public reception last thursday was unfortunately canceled and the show was taken down, but a few people saw them up there and that was cool.

No more writing time. Coffee is almost gone, time to put the pants on and do some work.

And yes. BTW 2014 GeWilli is more or less on target. It is a moving line but still for the most part trending in the right (positive) direction.

fod yn rhyfeddol
G

Perfect week

At least when it comes to riding every day. With trailer. And zero trips on the bike path. Not even the weather kept me of the bike.

Pizza Dough

So ASG asked for my Pizza dough recipe. And since it isn't a big secret and sauce is the most important part of the pizza I can share this.  Sauce recipe? Not going to share EITHER of mine... I think I have in the past, maybe you can find them, or if you have them, keep em secret.

Sauce is the key to making pizza in my opinion. But Pizza is magical, you can put stuff on it, whatever you want and it can transform stuff.  Good dough, high heat, oven, baking, all that... a magical food.

So here's how I made the dough yesterday. No. It isn't exact. "But GeWilli, this is baking, baking is the most scientific of culinary disciplines."  Yes I know. But here's the deal. It is Pizza dough. Consistency is important but I've found there's pretty much a big wide range of "tolerable" when it comes to how much flour goes into it. The salt and water and yeast are pretty specific. The rest? Feel. Hat tip to Erik V for the suggestion about just doing it till it looks right. He mentioned that a while ago and he's absolutely right.

Keep notes the first time you make it. Too dry? Next time use less flour.  Too wet? add more flour as you are shaping the pizza and add more next time you make it.

Cooking is about practice. I've been making pizza dough and sauce for over 20 years. Not daily but somewhat regularly.  My sauce recipe is an adaptation from what I consider the best place to get pizza on the Kitsap Penninsula. Funny thing is, when I get pizza there I usually order it with pesto sauce not the tomato sauce recipe my sauce is derived from.

Okay to the verbose recipe.

PIZZA DOUGH GEWILLI STYLE.

It seems to work well, the added steps have improved it but made it a bit more about the feel.

Also I use a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. You can do it by hand but that's gonna be a pain in the ass, or a really good upper body core workout.

Flour: Equal parts organic whole wheat and unbleached white flour (i use 365 brand cause it is the cheapest good shit around).

This last batch is what I'll give you recipie wise:

2 cups hot water (no more than 115°F 100-110 is fine)

1 tblsp sugar dissolved in the water

2 packs of dry active yeast (or measured equivalent from bulk container 4.5 tsp iirc)

let that bloom/activate for 5-10 min

in mixing bowl start with:

3 cups flour (1.5 each)

2 tsp Salt

3 tblsp Olive oil

Then add water. I rinse out the measuring cup using an extra 1/2 cup of hot water in two 1/4 cup batches.  So techincally 2.5 cups of hot water total.

Let the mixer mix for 5-10 min. This should be a really really wet dough. The extra mixing with all the water develops the gluten better.  Needed to make dough all yummy.

I actually use the paddle not the dough hook for this first step.

Then change out for the dough hook and slowly add flour and mix until dough is not sticky anymore.  Depending on the flour and how much water this can be anywhere from 1.5-2.5 or more cups of flour. I try to keep the ratio somewhat equal between the whole wheat and white but you can go in either direction. WW makes it less workable but more flavorful in the end, also a bit tougher. A nice balance of the two is what my family seems to prefer.

once it is a nice solid dryish not terribly sticky wet mess of dough, let it rise. I just keep it in the mixing bowl. I take the ball of dough out and coat the inside of the bowl with olive oil and cover it in a warm place.

ideally you let this rise until it doubles, punch it down, flip it, let it rise again until it doubles. then divide into pizza size portions, and let it rise again.

OR pop divided portions into containers (or bags) in the fridge for a day or two before cooking.

If in the fridge let them come to room temp and rise before you shape them (if too wet when shaping coat with flour)

I use Whole wheat flour on the pan/peel that i use to move them in and out of the oven, not corn meal.

Cook pizza in a 475+ oven. I also find it best to pre-cook the pizza dough for 2-4 minutes before topping with sauce and toppings.

A wee little snow and ice on the commute

and by that i mean I was riding on ice pretty much the whole way in.

and it was awesome.

so i took pictures...

 Looking north just as i got on the path. That wet snow stuck to everything and then the drop in temps into the mid-teens froze it all in place.

not food

and nothing new but here's another two cone wrenches and a megaphone column

http://www.cyclismas.com/biscuits/clothing-for-commuting-in-the-cold/

Got in a wee ride with the oldest on Saturday, nothing sunday or today (yet). Life getting crazy as it is want to do now and then.

Kind of precarious lately, lots of memories and recollections of last year in Louisville for Worlds. I've been good until today at holding on to the good parts, kind of ignoring the rest of it. But a few triggers kind of brought back a bit of the not so much fun memories, and how i was feeling last year at this time.

But hey. that was last year. Pain fades with time. Scars may be left behind.  At some point those scars with enough effort won't be painful reminders, just reminders. Focus on the good memories.

I'm staring at the new scar on my wrist...  where it was before was some unknown mass, a lump, a strange bit of tissue.

Turned out to be something the surgeon had never seen before, the pathology was so rare that well, yeah, figures eh? Good news is this scar just leaves behind the mark of being safe, checking. Not letting it be. Could have been worse.

But this scar is there...  reminding me... different than the lump that was there. But not really all that different i guess.

Scars sometimes never fade, but how we remember them can change. We control how we remember things.

Trying to transform overwhelmingly painful memories into looking deeper at them for the few moments that were good, that were positive, focusing on them. There always are a few positives.

Always a few good ones that we can fixate on.

Good memories that push out the sometimes overwhelmingly negative ones.

Time is helpful in the process. As is focusing on good stuff, reinforce the positive...

World's L'ville. Not easy for me but there was so much awesome, with the fog lifting i can reflect on those bits, still pretty easy to still get caught up on other stuff, a dark time for GeWilli i suppose. But it is good to be where I am today.

Heavy wet snow today. Not too much, maybe 4" total. Will make riding the bike path after it all freezes hard tonight fun and challenging tomorrow.

But i'm going to "Go all GeWilli on it" tomorrow.

No f'n question.

it keeps coming back around to me.

My perspective. The only thing changing really is how i look at it all. But that's kind of the challenge. How i look at things is directly related to how others interact with me and how it makes me feel. maybe their interactions are mis-interpreted by me, mis-read... does it matter? Yes of course, but it happens.

Life is a funny thing you know?

It is what it is.

gotta keep moving

fod yn rhyfeddol
g

Sweet Potato and Beef Tacos

A good indicator of how i'm feeling is how creative I get in the kitchen and how easily i come up with the dinner meal.  Dinner usually also is lunch for most of my permanent roommates and myself.  Unfortunately the youngest is getting bigger and bigger means eating MORE and yeah. I need to increase the quantities for dinner if I ever want to eat lunch again.

Kids grow. And neither of them are small and they are both super active and more or less have their dad's metabolism.  Downside is just none of this yumminess left for me today.

No shame in admitting that the first Skratch labs (Feed Zone) cookbook was the inspiration. I'd made it a few times. The first time was absolutely delicious. Even shared a taco or two with someone outside of the house and got decent reviews of it (made enough that day unlike today I guess but it had more stuff and also rice iirc). Second time was good but not quite as good as the first round.

This time? GeWilli overthinking brain came through with an idea that worked perfectly.

I will also admit I used someone's Barbacoa pre-packaged sauce. Why? All good stuff in it, and the shit tastes REALLY good and has a depth of flavor that I can reproduce but not in the time it takes to cook everything else.

So package of that sauce.
Pile of tortillas (365 organic ones - traditional and whole wheat)
Cheese (i had some cheddar on hand)
1 large onion diced
1.5# ground beef (85% lean)
1 tomatillo diced for topping the taco with
4 large garnet yams
3 medium size russet potatoes
olive oil
fresh ground cumin
black pepper
365 Chili Powder
salt
extra hot cayenne powder

Prep:
Peel the potatoes (i even peeled the russets this time)
Chop them into 1cm cubes. I got this process down, super simple and easy and they come out identical. But it takes a bit of practice. Maybe I'll make a wee little video some day on how to do it.

Put them all in a bowl big enough to mix them w/o sending them all over the kitchen for the dog to clean up.

While chopping get the oven up to 375-400°F (i use convection mode, but regular bake is probably fine). And put a pyrex "lasagna" pan in the oven with some olive oil and 3/4 of the diced onions, check and mix them around so they don't burn while you're chopping the potatoes.

Next up?
Pour a good couple glugs of olive oil over the potatoes, Can't really use too much, good extra virgin olive oil is good stuff.  Cheapest and best quality is that 365 brand basic stuff. can't be beat IMHO and i've tried most everything else.
Then a good pile of Cumin, Chili powder, black pepper, salt, some of the cayenne, and toss to coat all the little cubes evenly.

Once the onions are just about to get browned put the potatoes in the pan. mixing with the onions and oil already in there. You'll need to mix this somewhat regularly while cooking. Cook until done. how long? I dunno. can take a while i suppose.

once those are in plop the ground beef in a pan (you can sub proteins out if you want, this is just what I did, it works it is tasty). Get it nice and browned. once the fat has started to render out put the rest of the diced onion in there. Mix and cook that, then once you get some good maillard reaction in the pan add a bunch of the same spices you put in the potatoes. Give that 5-10 min on low heat to sort of bloom the flavor. Then put 1/2-3/4 of the pack of Barbacoa in with the meat, maybe 1/2 cup of water and let that simmer until the potatoes are cooked.

Best not to undercook either the sweet potatoes or the beef, the longer the better, more flavor and texture, just keep mixing and if the beef gets too dry add a bit of water now and then to keep it not saucey but not dry.

Serve simply by grating some cheese on a warm toasted tortilla, spoon some of the potatoes on there, add a little bit of the beef and garnish with fresh tomatillos.

And eat. And enjoy.

Not insanely high on the carb balance but out of the world in flavor. No big deal. When in doubt, over season. Flavor is your friend. Spice is your metabolism's best ally.

Heck you could use a nice chicken or some fish as the protein in these tacos. or a bit of marinated and baked tofu. So many variations and directions to take it.

fod yn rhyfeddol
G

Well somethings haven't changed

I'm still insane.

What now?

I'm thinking about going for a century ride this week. Taking a mental health day. Well it wasn't my idea. It is actually Russ's goal to ride one century per month.  January is winding down and, yeah that means this week.

Which means... cold. Today is balmy. At least at the moment. Temps appear to be ready to plummet overnight. Should be a fantastic 10°F tomorrow morning, a nice 12 on Wednesday, but Thursday starts off at 15 and just keeps getting warmer. Well up until the mid 20s. Friday I can't pedal.

So. Operation keep the schedule clear...

lets see what happens...  i like the ride plan at this point...  top secret now

Today has been about blasting faceplace with Nanoscape stuff. If you're over on that social site, well check out the page. More work to be done I suppose. Maybe some tonight.

For now Time to suit up and ride home on the one balmy day of the week.

fod yn rhyfeddol
-G

also

check this crazy awesomeness out:
https://medium.com/matter/88aa8a185898 

one of the little things falling in place

check it out...

blogging isn't dead but I'm looking forward to the creative challenge and the process
new column from GeWilli:
http://www.cyclismas.com/biscuits/category/features/two-cone-wrenches-and-a-megaphone/ 

Close in a way

writer's block...

how it works

this time sort of not so much writer's block as just busy.

But hey, why not tie in to this cool ass black and white short film about writer's block...

I'll get writing more soon..

have been pedaling through the cold though.

Not another soul on the bike path this morning. Evidence of walkers messing up the riding but just me and the snow, and ice.

and ice.

and snow...

slow going...

but progress...

always forward...

carry what you have, the best of the past, leave the rest behind...

shed the burden, focus on the treasures...

refine rework...

fod yn rhyfeddol
-G

remaking the GeWilli continues

So yes, I've alluded to it, this year is going to be different.

Hit the point where things need to change.  How? In lots of ways.

For the most part 2014 has been completely different, different focus, different motivation focusing on being positive. Actively trying to eschew the negative. Sounds dumb and bugs the hell out of me but a big focus is on glass half full.

The glass still has water in it. Not empty. Sure it is only half full. But some of you saw me in Bend 2009, when did a half full glass stop me? Yeah. It didn't.

So I'm going with cautious optimism. Focusing on the positive.

It doesn't always work as I found out today. But you know what. I have actually found a happy place. Seems weird. But yeah. I've kind of maybe figured that out.

I'm still terrible at dealing with making plans and having forces out of my control change them and destroy my mood but maybe that will change over time.  Only a few weeks into this new paradigm.

I headed into the city today on the bike.

And felt like a kid.

With an idol.

I had just finished watching the Leuven race. Was awesome. I get on the bike, J hop the granite curb, and just power through the sand, over on to the path and had this awesomeness wash over me. I was riding inspired by my heros.

WTF. How does some 42 year old guy have a hero? I dunno. Have you actually watched the CX pros race? Tommy and Kevin and Sven CRUSHED the course and made the race awesome. As I rode in it was pure bliss on the bike.  I was riding a CX bike feeling like the world champ.

For serious.

But then things change, plans put in place, stuff i really needed, like can't explain how much I needed. Figured I had communicated how much I needed it but well I guess not. Changed and mess up the day.
I got what I needed to get done done though.

Barely got home before the sun set. Which was good because I had taken the lights off the bike when I left this morning figuring I'd be home by Lunch. Yeah, not so much.

Point... of post.


Remaking GeWilli


I'm never going to be able to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve, never. That is part of my core, part of what i am. But what can I remake? I can shed the darkness, focus on the positive. Focus on the support of friends who have a hugely positive influence. So I can be a positive influence.

I'm a rather visible part of cyclocross in New England.

I identify as cyclocross. I've been racing in NECX for a f'n long time. Been racing CX since 1997.  It is my happy place. What can I do to be a positive influence.  What can I do to be positive and supportive of the tiny little Niche I love that feeds my passion. Not sure exactly. But fucking hell I need to figure this shit out. I'm tired of being the grumpy sad emotional curmudgeonly one. I'm okay with being a curmudgeon, but only in person, when you can see my smirk and the humorous twinkle in my eye.

So, actively seek out the support of positive friends, that's first.
Second?
Twitter. Unfuckinglocked mother fuckers.

No more private shit. nearly 25k tweets? yeah it is about time to go public.

Lots of reasons. We'll see how this goes. All I can hope going forward that I can keep focusing on the positive, move on from the negative.

Everything has to be re-evaluated. Everything. Top to bottom.  And you know that I'm the big freak in the orange suit. There's a ton of acreage to be covered and detailed.

No time better than now.

Life is an experiment.

Lets see where this leads. I've got some hope. Like I said, not easy, but focusing on the positive.

It started with lots of little things focused on me. I really do wish people would listen when I ask when I need something, that's sort of part of it. Tired of being selfless all of the time, but part of being me is not being able to ask and articulate what it is I really need. You'd figure someone at this point in their life might be better at articulating what they need. But I'm not. I spend all my time making sure everyone else is being taken care of, even if that is just my immediate family. Taking care of me? Has been for ever, on my shoulders. Probably always will. But I may actually start to figure out how to ask for help when I need it. Down side to that? When I ask and sort of depend on it, and it winds up nothing like I had asked or needed, well tends to derail everything. Back to 2013.

Too open? Maybe not. Cryptic? Probably. But here's the deal, I need to change that too. Slowly maybe I can find enough self confidence, self esteem, happiness, joy, positive energy that when that happens I'm not wrapped in a cloud of darkness.

Baby steps. Work on the foundation. Let the scars and the scabs heal. build it solidly. focus forward.

Heck even re-doing my pedal stroke is a big part of it. Knees over the pedals instead of brushing the top tube. Focusing on things I can change for the better.

Kind of a long way to announce unlocking a twitter account, no?

fod yn rhyfeddol
g

Quick tomato sauce.

Chip was asking on the twitter about sauce. Too many characters.

So to the blog.

Start with extra virgin olive oil in the pan..
Dice onion sweat them down till clear
Add a splash of balsamic vinegar, let the acids boil off...
Add the crushed tomatoes.
Garlic. Press or finely diced (or add them just before the vinegar)
Dried basil leaves
Dried oregano
Pepper black and red if you want heat
Salt
Red wine

Let simmer for a while

Put pasta in the sauce so it can absorb the flavor.

TWO DAYS IN A ROW

WTF

on the bike. Serious. Seems strange.

Feels great.

Missed it a lot.

Last night it was POURING rain, not super cold but not warm. And wet. Like soaked to the bone wet. Didn't notice any of the water.

Just pedaled. Was F'n GLORIOUS.

was thinking quite a bit, but good thinking i think.  I had a conversation with my doc about one of the issues with my pedal stroke, specifically my knees crossing over the top tube... at some point it was suggested that I need to work on alignment and keep my knees over the pedals and I'd be able to develop more power.

So I talked to my doc (an OMM practicing DO) and she said, yeah no, that's not an alignment issues, that's a muscle memory/habit problem. If you want to fix that you need to make that change on the bike.

Two days now, pedaling what feels like big gut old guy pedaling with knees going way outside has been good. I feel the underused muscles activating.  My knees are now over the pedal. Hey a few % here and there.

Figure I have been off the bike so long that it is actually a good time to try and change something like that up to gain a % or so. Every little bit counts right?  I've got time now, just pedaling. Pedaling. Re-work the dynamics.

Going to take a week or so before I think I'm ready to add the trailer to any routine service use (added KJs to the commute, maybe firewood collection back and forth). Itching for nice long ride too. Not ready yet... patience.

Takes time.

Ideas percolating for motivation, and that's enough for the motivation.  that and just how nice it is to be on the bike just back and forth. back and forth.

Still a pile of work to get through to dig out from CX season.

Not just the bike room but the house. Slow accumulation of clutter, between dance, soccer, running races, cyclocross - there's been pretty much zero down time for anyone since the summer.  The Bike room is first. I gotta find the fenders and decide how I'm going to commuter up the stuff.
Probably drop the Black blue into roadie position with slammed and flipped stem. White blue may get shorter stem as an experiment but more importantly fenders. Tired of wet feet.

Focus forward.

BUT. I still mean to look back on the 2013 cyclocross season...  We'll see if time happens to coincide with inspiration.

Right now i'm just happy the fog has lifted.

heddwch
G

Clarity...

It is strange almost.

Wondering if it will last. So skeptical I am. But this feels different. Strange but in "hey, stuff is actually pretty cool" way.  The week is almost over, made it. Survived.

Motivation, incentive. I've sort of set in my mind that I want something tangible, a luxury item if you will, but one I will use nearly everyday. But stuff costs money, there's little to go around, but I've got all these scanning electron microscope images. They are pretty spectacular. And pretty diverse, from food to bikes to insects and blood. I've got a great relationship with a printer and he knows how to transform my digital work into analog print in a way that I am happy with.  So maybe I can leverage it somehow. #jerrynomics I guess, in a way. But selling art is always a challenge. How do you value it. Always a mystery. Factoring the time spent thinking about/acquiring the sample, then preparing it for the microscope and then the time on the scope.  Commercial rates for the system for me running it are in the $400/hr range. I can get a pile of images an hour just churning them out but the creative process isn't always fast, but it is something I do actually feel like I've mastered. The microscope is an extension of me.  And then there is the concrete material cost of archival printing. I should charge a minimum of a $1000 if i want to actually make this a profitably venture. But I'd rather be at an approachable price and have the prints be aesthetically enjoyed, rather than just piling up in my office.

This isn't really part of what's going on, not part of the shift in focus, mental state.

I will say I'm tired of everyone asking me how my holiday break was. It was not so much the most fun. Pretty much anti-fun. BUT. It was needed. Kind of like this I guess.

A wake up slap. Took a while for the fog to lift but as I mentioned, things are a lot clearer it seems.

I've found a bit of the old mojo so to say I guess.

Course direction hasn't been set at all but sort of call it an upgraded nav system. Like going from having a busted compass to redundant GPS nav.

Trying to make sense of the new system I guess. still find myself occasionally looking at the compass wandering and pointing aimlessly and getting a moment of panic, before being able to consciously say hey we've got this.

Going to take time.

Still no pedaling, haven't managed to get the bike room sorted out, just playing solo dad, driving the girls everywhere, soccer, ballet, making dinner, laundry, dishes, all the things.  And that's been good. Very good.

I'm just trying not to get fat, even though I'm losing all fitness/strength. But there's plenty of time. And if I can get a handful of prints sold I think it'll all come together pretty damn well.

heddwch
G