that was unintentional (warning: CATCHALLPOST)

So much to write about last week and did I?

Nope.

So much happened.

Longest week of the year mileage wise.  Thanks in part to an all day ride with Russ, I was going to link his blog report here but I feel better...  mostly because he hasn't either.

dogma and diet...

yeah yeah yeah... shut up already gewilli...  good luck with that

Here's a good review of Taubes' book:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beyond-apples/201011/are-we-getting-nutrition-all-wrong 
"We've been told for years that the American "meat and potatoes" diet is what's killing us. But now an increasingly vocal group of experts is suggesting that it isn't the meat but rather the potatoes that are doing us harm. In the end, I'm not sure what the right answer is, but what I do know is that the chance that we are getting nutrition wrong is too important for us to ignore."

I've always maintained for years...  forever...  the problem with an american breakfast isn't the eggs or bacon or sausage, but the orange juice, toast, syrupy pancakes and hashbrowns/potatoes.  That's the bigger problem, for your heart and for your waistline, and as plenty of people are documenting there are far too many excersice addicted people who are skinny but insulin resistant (not a  good thing).

Bottom line it seems is the science is there to counter the low fat dogma, and well, look where it has gotten us. 


---  caveate/disclaimer

there's a place for all the foods and stuffs, adding in carbs is fine if you can tolerate them, they are used primarily for fuel for specific types of exercise...  

there's room for vegans in this and i'm not jumping on the taubes' bandwagon or the Noakes one either, just that they've ammassed some solid data. science. data that isn't pseudo science.

The lwo fat fad is killing people, literally. When you look at the medical science there was no unequivocal basis for the low fat 'reccomendations' 

anyway...  skim milk, cheerios, peice of toast and some orange juice...  perfect breakfast

to kill your pancrease

icy

So today...  oof.

Started off with of course the weather change.

First Smackdown of 2014 in the books

First effort in the legs since, probably Day 1 Supercup Cross. Day 2 in NY wasn't an effort, more of a just ride in circles.  Definitely should have just stayed in Bed at the Hotel until it was warmer than single digits. Car would have been happier starting and I could have avoided that embarassment and maybe not have been so tired I didn't see the tree and wouldn't have crashed and might have been able to race Sterling and NBX.

But hey. At that moment, getting out of bed seemed to be the right thing to do. Hindsight eh?

Why counting calories alone will never work to be healthy

Again C. Todd comes up with another great find.

I agree, the system has failed people.

Steel Cut Oats for breakfast

an item of oft ridicule by many in #NECX
"you start cooking them at night?" HAHAHAHA

SO MUCH WORK.

Well where are we now...

Off the bike since a snow ride on Saturday. Two big snow storms have worked to make sure the bike path stays impassable, I'm not even sure this warm up and rain we are having/hope to have will be enough to clear it by Monday when I'm back on the bike and the temps are forecast to plunge back to walk in deep freezer mode. Might be worth the attempted slog though just in the name of science and exploration and fun and pure brutal torture.

I did manage to get out for a short run on Tuesday. That's the extent of exercise though other than core work shoveling snow. It is total ice world out there now. I got out for the run as the snow was falling. there was almost an inch of snow on the ground when I went out. Footing wasn't too bad except where the snow was on top of ice. And it was a wet snow that kept packing up in the sole of the shoes making for odd pressure points at times. Managed though juts a short run with a decently/acceptable steady pace. I think I figured out a good use for the Obree breathing method. Usually on the bike other than in a full out TT I feel a bit over oxygenated or whatever it is when you get light headed from breathing way more than you need. Running though? the rythmn is odd but it actually seems to work well.  But still like anything when fatigue sets in I tend to find my self back to breathing in sync with footfalls.

It has been an interseting week. Kid 1 got sick to start vacation week, totally undermined any of her plans and changed the rest of ours (mine). But catching up on the house has been good. Outside projects have to wait till the snow melts and the ground thaws, but maybe we'll have this place ready for company by the weekend, or at least before we all go back on Monday.

Got another installment up on the Two Cone Wrenches and a Megaphone column. Gotta remember to put a link on the sidebar or something. Also need to start working on the next topic. Anyone have a commuter opinion peice suggestion? Going to save the commuting in the rain for later in the spring.

This morning Geo S (Battenkill 2007 or 2008) also former BRC Junior, now expat in some southern hemisphere country posted a link to an article this morning.  A long story in the New Yorker.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2014/02/10/140210fa_fact_aviv?currentPage=all

my G+ comments on the subject:
"Worthwhile and important reading. Long but good. Well written long form stories are rare in the world of buzzfeed snippets and 140 character news stories.

The topic is important, for everyone. Not just science types.

I learned a very long time ago to always look at the acknowledgements in a scientific paper first. Determine bias of funding.

Cyclists will remember the chocolate milk as recovery drink study? Paid for by Dairy Industry. The findings alone should have been enough to make anyone doubt the much trumpeted public media support for choco milk. Small anecdote.

But bias and ethics, very important in STEM (a term everyone is tossing around now - to me that's a Scanning Transmission Electron Microscope - not Science Technology Engineering Math)."

Heck pick orange juice. I think the Florida Orange Juice growers associations must have G-ride and G-david on payroll to constantly attack me with taunts and bullying when ever I bring up OJ on twitter or anywhere (it is a joke guys but if you ARE getting industry kick backs, share the cash love, or at least give me a commission).

I'm going to try and get back to regular writing here...  But not going to force it. AKA same as always.

Last week was a perfect week. 5 days of work 5 days of riding the bike. First one i think. All the driving the kids and Dr appts and everything seems to have taken at least one day a week since the start of the new year.

Plans for an all day ride today have dissolved. Roads are a disaster number one and two sick kid and work are keeping me here. Plenty of plans though, ideas. Even entertained Morse's Blackstone Blvd century idea. 29 or so laps of the Blvd. It might be something worth trying to do soon though. That or less of a mental challenge: 100 miles on Pine, Homestead, perryville, broad/jacob...  little loop in Rehoboth maybe, still laps and elevation. Or do a flatter loop from 152, brown, pine, read (or walker)... Ideas. Goals. We'll see.

Other goals. Finish getting the Nanoscape catalog together. And get a list of prints to offer up for sale. Not just sort of off hand for sale but like list them and all that. I've started a nanoscape FB page, to go with the tumblr and twitter accounts. All mostly linked together. The Public reception last thursday was unfortunately canceled and the show was taken down, but a few people saw them up there and that was cool.

No more writing time. Coffee is almost gone, time to put the pants on and do some work.

And yes. BTW 2014 GeWilli is more or less on target. It is a moving line but still for the most part trending in the right (positive) direction.

fod yn rhyfeddol
G

Perfect week

At least when it comes to riding every day. With trailer. And zero trips on the bike path. Not even the weather kept me of the bike.

Pizza Dough

So ASG asked for my Pizza dough recipe. And since it isn't a big secret and sauce is the most important part of the pizza I can share this.  Sauce recipe? Not going to share EITHER of mine... I think I have in the past, maybe you can find them, or if you have them, keep em secret.

Sauce is the key to making pizza in my opinion. But Pizza is magical, you can put stuff on it, whatever you want and it can transform stuff.  Good dough, high heat, oven, baking, all that... a magical food.

So here's how I made the dough yesterday. No. It isn't exact. "But GeWilli, this is baking, baking is the most scientific of culinary disciplines."  Yes I know. But here's the deal. It is Pizza dough. Consistency is important but I've found there's pretty much a big wide range of "tolerable" when it comes to how much flour goes into it. The salt and water and yeast are pretty specific. The rest? Feel. Hat tip to Erik V for the suggestion about just doing it till it looks right. He mentioned that a while ago and he's absolutely right.

Keep notes the first time you make it. Too dry? Next time use less flour.  Too wet? add more flour as you are shaping the pizza and add more next time you make it.

Cooking is about practice. I've been making pizza dough and sauce for over 20 years. Not daily but somewhat regularly.  My sauce recipe is an adaptation from what I consider the best place to get pizza on the Kitsap Penninsula. Funny thing is, when I get pizza there I usually order it with pesto sauce not the tomato sauce recipe my sauce is derived from.

Okay to the verbose recipe.

PIZZA DOUGH GEWILLI STYLE.

It seems to work well, the added steps have improved it but made it a bit more about the feel.

Also I use a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. You can do it by hand but that's gonna be a pain in the ass, or a really good upper body core workout.

Flour: Equal parts organic whole wheat and unbleached white flour (i use 365 brand cause it is the cheapest good shit around).

This last batch is what I'll give you recipie wise:

2 cups hot water (no more than 115°F 100-110 is fine)

1 tblsp sugar dissolved in the water

2 packs of dry active yeast (or measured equivalent from bulk container 4.5 tsp iirc)

let that bloom/activate for 5-10 min

in mixing bowl start with:

3 cups flour (1.5 each)

2 tsp Salt

3 tblsp Olive oil

Then add water. I rinse out the measuring cup using an extra 1/2 cup of hot water in two 1/4 cup batches.  So techincally 2.5 cups of hot water total.

Let the mixer mix for 5-10 min. This should be a really really wet dough. The extra mixing with all the water develops the gluten better.  Needed to make dough all yummy.

I actually use the paddle not the dough hook for this first step.

Then change out for the dough hook and slowly add flour and mix until dough is not sticky anymore.  Depending on the flour and how much water this can be anywhere from 1.5-2.5 or more cups of flour. I try to keep the ratio somewhat equal between the whole wheat and white but you can go in either direction. WW makes it less workable but more flavorful in the end, also a bit tougher. A nice balance of the two is what my family seems to prefer.

once it is a nice solid dryish not terribly sticky wet mess of dough, let it rise. I just keep it in the mixing bowl. I take the ball of dough out and coat the inside of the bowl with olive oil and cover it in a warm place.

ideally you let this rise until it doubles, punch it down, flip it, let it rise again until it doubles. then divide into pizza size portions, and let it rise again.

OR pop divided portions into containers (or bags) in the fridge for a day or two before cooking.

If in the fridge let them come to room temp and rise before you shape them (if too wet when shaping coat with flour)

I use Whole wheat flour on the pan/peel that i use to move them in and out of the oven, not corn meal.

Cook pizza in a 475+ oven. I also find it best to pre-cook the pizza dough for 2-4 minutes before topping with sauce and toppings.

A wee little snow and ice on the commute

and by that i mean I was riding on ice pretty much the whole way in.

and it was awesome.

so i took pictures...

 Looking north just as i got on the path. That wet snow stuck to everything and then the drop in temps into the mid-teens froze it all in place.

not food

and nothing new but here's another two cone wrenches and a megaphone column

http://www.cyclismas.com/biscuits/clothing-for-commuting-in-the-cold/

Got in a wee ride with the oldest on Saturday, nothing sunday or today (yet). Life getting crazy as it is want to do now and then.

Kind of precarious lately, lots of memories and recollections of last year in Louisville for Worlds. I've been good until today at holding on to the good parts, kind of ignoring the rest of it. But a few triggers kind of brought back a bit of the not so much fun memories, and how i was feeling last year at this time.

But hey. that was last year. Pain fades with time. Scars may be left behind.  At some point those scars with enough effort won't be painful reminders, just reminders. Focus on the good memories.

I'm staring at the new scar on my wrist...  where it was before was some unknown mass, a lump, a strange bit of tissue.

Turned out to be something the surgeon had never seen before, the pathology was so rare that well, yeah, figures eh? Good news is this scar just leaves behind the mark of being safe, checking. Not letting it be. Could have been worse.

But this scar is there...  reminding me... different than the lump that was there. But not really all that different i guess.

Scars sometimes never fade, but how we remember them can change. We control how we remember things.

Trying to transform overwhelmingly painful memories into looking deeper at them for the few moments that were good, that were positive, focusing on them. There always are a few positives.

Always a few good ones that we can fixate on.

Good memories that push out the sometimes overwhelmingly negative ones.

Time is helpful in the process. As is focusing on good stuff, reinforce the positive...

World's L'ville. Not easy for me but there was so much awesome, with the fog lifting i can reflect on those bits, still pretty easy to still get caught up on other stuff, a dark time for GeWilli i suppose. But it is good to be where I am today.

Heavy wet snow today. Not too much, maybe 4" total. Will make riding the bike path after it all freezes hard tonight fun and challenging tomorrow.

But i'm going to "Go all GeWilli on it" tomorrow.

No f'n question.

it keeps coming back around to me.

My perspective. The only thing changing really is how i look at it all. But that's kind of the challenge. How i look at things is directly related to how others interact with me and how it makes me feel. maybe their interactions are mis-interpreted by me, mis-read... does it matter? Yes of course, but it happens.

Life is a funny thing you know?

It is what it is.

gotta keep moving

fod yn rhyfeddol
g

Sweet Potato and Beef Tacos

A good indicator of how i'm feeling is how creative I get in the kitchen and how easily i come up with the dinner meal.  Dinner usually also is lunch for most of my permanent roommates and myself.  Unfortunately the youngest is getting bigger and bigger means eating MORE and yeah. I need to increase the quantities for dinner if I ever want to eat lunch again.

Kids grow. And neither of them are small and they are both super active and more or less have their dad's metabolism.  Downside is just none of this yumminess left for me today.

No shame in admitting that the first Skratch labs (Feed Zone) cookbook was the inspiration. I'd made it a few times. The first time was absolutely delicious. Even shared a taco or two with someone outside of the house and got decent reviews of it (made enough that day unlike today I guess but it had more stuff and also rice iirc). Second time was good but not quite as good as the first round.

This time? GeWilli overthinking brain came through with an idea that worked perfectly.

I will also admit I used someone's Barbacoa pre-packaged sauce. Why? All good stuff in it, and the shit tastes REALLY good and has a depth of flavor that I can reproduce but not in the time it takes to cook everything else.

So package of that sauce.
Pile of tortillas (365 organic ones - traditional and whole wheat)
Cheese (i had some cheddar on hand)
1 large onion diced
1.5# ground beef (85% lean)
1 tomatillo diced for topping the taco with
4 large garnet yams
3 medium size russet potatoes
olive oil
fresh ground cumin
black pepper
365 Chili Powder
salt
extra hot cayenne powder

Prep:
Peel the potatoes (i even peeled the russets this time)
Chop them into 1cm cubes. I got this process down, super simple and easy and they come out identical. But it takes a bit of practice. Maybe I'll make a wee little video some day on how to do it.

Put them all in a bowl big enough to mix them w/o sending them all over the kitchen for the dog to clean up.

While chopping get the oven up to 375-400°F (i use convection mode, but regular bake is probably fine). And put a pyrex "lasagna" pan in the oven with some olive oil and 3/4 of the diced onions, check and mix them around so they don't burn while you're chopping the potatoes.

Next up?
Pour a good couple glugs of olive oil over the potatoes, Can't really use too much, good extra virgin olive oil is good stuff.  Cheapest and best quality is that 365 brand basic stuff. can't be beat IMHO and i've tried most everything else.
Then a good pile of Cumin, Chili powder, black pepper, salt, some of the cayenne, and toss to coat all the little cubes evenly.

Once the onions are just about to get browned put the potatoes in the pan. mixing with the onions and oil already in there. You'll need to mix this somewhat regularly while cooking. Cook until done. how long? I dunno. can take a while i suppose.

once those are in plop the ground beef in a pan (you can sub proteins out if you want, this is just what I did, it works it is tasty). Get it nice and browned. once the fat has started to render out put the rest of the diced onion in there. Mix and cook that, then once you get some good maillard reaction in the pan add a bunch of the same spices you put in the potatoes. Give that 5-10 min on low heat to sort of bloom the flavor. Then put 1/2-3/4 of the pack of Barbacoa in with the meat, maybe 1/2 cup of water and let that simmer until the potatoes are cooked.

Best not to undercook either the sweet potatoes or the beef, the longer the better, more flavor and texture, just keep mixing and if the beef gets too dry add a bit of water now and then to keep it not saucey but not dry.

Serve simply by grating some cheese on a warm toasted tortilla, spoon some of the potatoes on there, add a little bit of the beef and garnish with fresh tomatillos.

And eat. And enjoy.

Not insanely high on the carb balance but out of the world in flavor. No big deal. When in doubt, over season. Flavor is your friend. Spice is your metabolism's best ally.

Heck you could use a nice chicken or some fish as the protein in these tacos. or a bit of marinated and baked tofu. So many variations and directions to take it.

fod yn rhyfeddol
G

Well somethings haven't changed

I'm still insane.

What now?

I'm thinking about going for a century ride this week. Taking a mental health day. Well it wasn't my idea. It is actually Russ's goal to ride one century per month.  January is winding down and, yeah that means this week.

Which means... cold. Today is balmy. At least at the moment. Temps appear to be ready to plummet overnight. Should be a fantastic 10°F tomorrow morning, a nice 12 on Wednesday, but Thursday starts off at 15 and just keeps getting warmer. Well up until the mid 20s. Friday I can't pedal.

So. Operation keep the schedule clear...

lets see what happens...  i like the ride plan at this point...  top secret now

Today has been about blasting faceplace with Nanoscape stuff. If you're over on that social site, well check out the page. More work to be done I suppose. Maybe some tonight.

For now Time to suit up and ride home on the one balmy day of the week.

fod yn rhyfeddol
-G

also

check this crazy awesomeness out:
https://medium.com/matter/88aa8a185898 

one of the little things falling in place

check it out...

blogging isn't dead but I'm looking forward to the creative challenge and the process
new column from GeWilli:
http://www.cyclismas.com/biscuits/category/features/two-cone-wrenches-and-a-megaphone/ 

Close in a way

writer's block...

how it works

this time sort of not so much writer's block as just busy.

But hey, why not tie in to this cool ass black and white short film about writer's block...

I'll get writing more soon..

have been pedaling through the cold though.

Not another soul on the bike path this morning. Evidence of walkers messing up the riding but just me and the snow, and ice.

and ice.

and snow...

slow going...

but progress...

always forward...

carry what you have, the best of the past, leave the rest behind...

shed the burden, focus on the treasures...

refine rework...

fod yn rhyfeddol
-G

remaking the GeWilli continues

So yes, I've alluded to it, this year is going to be different.

Hit the point where things need to change.  How? In lots of ways.

For the most part 2014 has been completely different, different focus, different motivation focusing on being positive. Actively trying to eschew the negative. Sounds dumb and bugs the hell out of me but a big focus is on glass half full.

The glass still has water in it. Not empty. Sure it is only half full. But some of you saw me in Bend 2009, when did a half full glass stop me? Yeah. It didn't.

So I'm going with cautious optimism. Focusing on the positive.

It doesn't always work as I found out today. But you know what. I have actually found a happy place. Seems weird. But yeah. I've kind of maybe figured that out.

I'm still terrible at dealing with making plans and having forces out of my control change them and destroy my mood but maybe that will change over time.  Only a few weeks into this new paradigm.

I headed into the city today on the bike.

And felt like a kid.

With an idol.

I had just finished watching the Leuven race. Was awesome. I get on the bike, J hop the granite curb, and just power through the sand, over on to the path and had this awesomeness wash over me. I was riding inspired by my heros.

WTF. How does some 42 year old guy have a hero? I dunno. Have you actually watched the CX pros race? Tommy and Kevin and Sven CRUSHED the course and made the race awesome. As I rode in it was pure bliss on the bike.  I was riding a CX bike feeling like the world champ.

For serious.

But then things change, plans put in place, stuff i really needed, like can't explain how much I needed. Figured I had communicated how much I needed it but well I guess not. Changed and mess up the day.
I got what I needed to get done done though.

Barely got home before the sun set. Which was good because I had taken the lights off the bike when I left this morning figuring I'd be home by Lunch. Yeah, not so much.

Point... of post.


Remaking GeWilli


I'm never going to be able to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve, never. That is part of my core, part of what i am. But what can I remake? I can shed the darkness, focus on the positive. Focus on the support of friends who have a hugely positive influence. So I can be a positive influence.

I'm a rather visible part of cyclocross in New England.

I identify as cyclocross. I've been racing in NECX for a f'n long time. Been racing CX since 1997.  It is my happy place. What can I do to be a positive influence.  What can I do to be positive and supportive of the tiny little Niche I love that feeds my passion. Not sure exactly. But fucking hell I need to figure this shit out. I'm tired of being the grumpy sad emotional curmudgeonly one. I'm okay with being a curmudgeon, but only in person, when you can see my smirk and the humorous twinkle in my eye.

So, actively seek out the support of positive friends, that's first.
Second?
Twitter. Unfuckinglocked mother fuckers.

No more private shit. nearly 25k tweets? yeah it is about time to go public.

Lots of reasons. We'll see how this goes. All I can hope going forward that I can keep focusing on the positive, move on from the negative.

Everything has to be re-evaluated. Everything. Top to bottom.  And you know that I'm the big freak in the orange suit. There's a ton of acreage to be covered and detailed.

No time better than now.

Life is an experiment.

Lets see where this leads. I've got some hope. Like I said, not easy, but focusing on the positive.

It started with lots of little things focused on me. I really do wish people would listen when I ask when I need something, that's sort of part of it. Tired of being selfless all of the time, but part of being me is not being able to ask and articulate what it is I really need. You'd figure someone at this point in their life might be better at articulating what they need. But I'm not. I spend all my time making sure everyone else is being taken care of, even if that is just my immediate family. Taking care of me? Has been for ever, on my shoulders. Probably always will. But I may actually start to figure out how to ask for help when I need it. Down side to that? When I ask and sort of depend on it, and it winds up nothing like I had asked or needed, well tends to derail everything. Back to 2013.

Too open? Maybe not. Cryptic? Probably. But here's the deal, I need to change that too. Slowly maybe I can find enough self confidence, self esteem, happiness, joy, positive energy that when that happens I'm not wrapped in a cloud of darkness.

Baby steps. Work on the foundation. Let the scars and the scabs heal. build it solidly. focus forward.

Heck even re-doing my pedal stroke is a big part of it. Knees over the pedals instead of brushing the top tube. Focusing on things I can change for the better.

Kind of a long way to announce unlocking a twitter account, no?

fod yn rhyfeddol
g

Quick tomato sauce.

Chip was asking on the twitter about sauce. Too many characters.

So to the blog.

Start with extra virgin olive oil in the pan..
Dice onion sweat them down till clear
Add a splash of balsamic vinegar, let the acids boil off...
Add the crushed tomatoes.
Garlic. Press or finely diced (or add them just before the vinegar)
Dried basil leaves
Dried oregano
Pepper black and red if you want heat
Salt
Red wine

Let simmer for a while

Put pasta in the sauce so it can absorb the flavor.

TWO DAYS IN A ROW

WTF

on the bike. Serious. Seems strange.

Feels great.

Missed it a lot.

Last night it was POURING rain, not super cold but not warm. And wet. Like soaked to the bone wet. Didn't notice any of the water.

Just pedaled. Was F'n GLORIOUS.

was thinking quite a bit, but good thinking i think.  I had a conversation with my doc about one of the issues with my pedal stroke, specifically my knees crossing over the top tube... at some point it was suggested that I need to work on alignment and keep my knees over the pedals and I'd be able to develop more power.

So I talked to my doc (an OMM practicing DO) and she said, yeah no, that's not an alignment issues, that's a muscle memory/habit problem. If you want to fix that you need to make that change on the bike.

Two days now, pedaling what feels like big gut old guy pedaling with knees going way outside has been good. I feel the underused muscles activating.  My knees are now over the pedal. Hey a few % here and there.

Figure I have been off the bike so long that it is actually a good time to try and change something like that up to gain a % or so. Every little bit counts right?  I've got time now, just pedaling. Pedaling. Re-work the dynamics.

Going to take a week or so before I think I'm ready to add the trailer to any routine service use (added KJs to the commute, maybe firewood collection back and forth). Itching for nice long ride too. Not ready yet... patience.

Takes time.

Ideas percolating for motivation, and that's enough for the motivation.  that and just how nice it is to be on the bike just back and forth. back and forth.

Still a pile of work to get through to dig out from CX season.

Not just the bike room but the house. Slow accumulation of clutter, between dance, soccer, running races, cyclocross - there's been pretty much zero down time for anyone since the summer.  The Bike room is first. I gotta find the fenders and decide how I'm going to commuter up the stuff.
Probably drop the Black blue into roadie position with slammed and flipped stem. White blue may get shorter stem as an experiment but more importantly fenders. Tired of wet feet.

Focus forward.

BUT. I still mean to look back on the 2013 cyclocross season...  We'll see if time happens to coincide with inspiration.

Right now i'm just happy the fog has lifted.

heddwch
G

Clarity...

It is strange almost.

Wondering if it will last. So skeptical I am. But this feels different. Strange but in "hey, stuff is actually pretty cool" way.  The week is almost over, made it. Survived.

Motivation, incentive. I've sort of set in my mind that I want something tangible, a luxury item if you will, but one I will use nearly everyday. But stuff costs money, there's little to go around, but I've got all these scanning electron microscope images. They are pretty spectacular. And pretty diverse, from food to bikes to insects and blood. I've got a great relationship with a printer and he knows how to transform my digital work into analog print in a way that I am happy with.  So maybe I can leverage it somehow. #jerrynomics I guess, in a way. But selling art is always a challenge. How do you value it. Always a mystery. Factoring the time spent thinking about/acquiring the sample, then preparing it for the microscope and then the time on the scope.  Commercial rates for the system for me running it are in the $400/hr range. I can get a pile of images an hour just churning them out but the creative process isn't always fast, but it is something I do actually feel like I've mastered. The microscope is an extension of me.  And then there is the concrete material cost of archival printing. I should charge a minimum of a $1000 if i want to actually make this a profitably venture. But I'd rather be at an approachable price and have the prints be aesthetically enjoyed, rather than just piling up in my office.

This isn't really part of what's going on, not part of the shift in focus, mental state.

I will say I'm tired of everyone asking me how my holiday break was. It was not so much the most fun. Pretty much anti-fun. BUT. It was needed. Kind of like this I guess.

A wake up slap. Took a while for the fog to lift but as I mentioned, things are a lot clearer it seems.

I've found a bit of the old mojo so to say I guess.

Course direction hasn't been set at all but sort of call it an upgraded nav system. Like going from having a busted compass to redundant GPS nav.

Trying to make sense of the new system I guess. still find myself occasionally looking at the compass wandering and pointing aimlessly and getting a moment of panic, before being able to consciously say hey we've got this.

Going to take time.

Still no pedaling, haven't managed to get the bike room sorted out, just playing solo dad, driving the girls everywhere, soccer, ballet, making dinner, laundry, dishes, all the things.  And that's been good. Very good.

I'm just trying not to get fat, even though I'm losing all fitness/strength. But there's plenty of time. And if I can get a handful of prints sold I think it'll all come together pretty damn well.

heddwch
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Dead yet?

Pretty close.

It's been pretty much down hill from Supercup Cross in NY.

A few bright spots but not many.

No motivation really to write about it, not sure why I'm bothering right now. Mostly just because I feel an urge to start writing again. Nationals is happening and I'm not headed again this year. Sure given the last 4-6 weeks I've pretty much lost any form I had, I'd get my ass handed to me on a platter at this point. That said if I was going I'd probably be on the bike everyday hitting work outs like an athlete instead of not pedaling, or more or less a nice long bender.

Where to go from here.

Motivation.

I can count the times I've ridden a bike in the last 6 weeks on one hand. Yup. No. It just seems like that I guess.

Never. Happened. Before. Ever.

Ever.

Not since I moved here from Michigan.

This time of year is always a struggle...  But there have been times in the last few days when I think I might have a solution, or at least a few action items to focus on and move forward with. So I've got the making of a plan, we'll see how it shakes out.

Solo dad week starts tomorrow. May try and get the bike room organized enough to leave a bike set up on a trainer in there just to get a few minutes on there. Maybe after the girls go to sleep at night.  Just a few minutes would be a good start.

CX seems so far away. Mental Health days...  probably should start those again. Not sure if I need a new location or not. I like riding into Boston. Maybe it is time to start exploring even more alternate routes.

This past season I was pretty damn happy through most of it.  Sure some frustrations eeked into everything, it wasn't perfect. I was bummed how some races went, but over-all, the season was a major leap for me. Maybe I can re-create that next year.

Right now I think anything I built this year is gone. Starting from Zero now...  time to build though. Will take work. Maybe I'll manage to figure it out. Maybe I'll remember to eat more on the first half of the all day rides, the centuries, the longer rides than in the past. Maybe I'll manage to hang on and not get shelled or bonk.

Stuff to work on.

So many things.

So many things to figure out. But there's some progress that makes it seem possible to figure out.

I finally got over Mittengate I think. Found some warm gloves that should work on the bike. Wore em once on the bike. It worked to shift.  I'm with Jerry on this. Why is everyone buying stupid expensive cycling industry gloves that barely work? So many options out there that are warmer and cheaper.

I'll get back to commuting on the bike soon enough. I hope.

I'll get it sorted out.

Plan is though sometime soon here, actually sort of try and document a bit of the fall, maybe. Or at least make a legit attempt at a true CX season wrap up.

Till then - if you haven't go read this:
http://velocb.blogspot.com/2014/01/bandit4life.html

It was even better than this one: https://vimeo.com/18580120

heddwch
G